In Death He Lives

by John Charles

  “Enough, this topic is not open for further discussion, Ellissa. I know what’s right for my son. I have to go. I have an appointment in half an hour.”

  As Harrold moved to the door, he turned to his son. “Call legal and get up to speed on that stuff today. I expect you to carry the ball on this one. Use anyone you need, but make it your project, Reade.”

  Then turning to his wife, he said, “Don’t fight me on this Ellissa. You get your way on a lot of stuff but you won’t sway me on this. Understand?”

  Not wanting any more grief, she nodded her acquiescence to Harrold’s demands “Will I see you for dinner?”

  “No, I’ll be at the club,” said Harrold, not waiting for nor expecting a reply from his wife.

  Ellissa walked to her son’s side, “Did you hear what he said about the apartment?” she asked.

  “Mom, this won’t work. I can’t live in his shadow all the time. I’m not Harrold Calan!” he shouted throwing the folder across the room.

  “I know Reade. Believe me I know.” She replied as she picked up the papers strewn across the floor. “You really want to see Alex, don’t you?” she asked as she placed the folder back on the tray.

  “Yes, mom I do, but the hospital staff is forbidden from helping me. If they do, they will lose their job. They’ve been so good to me, I will not do that to any of them. I’ve got to see him mom, and I’m not taking that apartment, either,” said a very determined young man.

  Ellissa saw the look in her son’s eyes and had the revelation she missed all these years. “You love Alex, don’t you Reade?” she asked putting her hand on his arm. “I can see it in your eyes sweetheart. You love him, don’t you?”

  Reade turned away from his mother knowing the answer would start a major discussion. “He’ll never let that happen,” he whispered as he turned to look at his mother. “He’ll never let me love Alex, mom. So unless I’m ready to forfeit everything in my life, why start something that will cause both of us so much harm?”

  Mother and son shared the silent knowledge that they both knew. Reade was right. Harrold would never allow that to happen. Harrold had often told Ellissa that under no circumstances would he allow Alex into their family. He was outraged that his son shared an apartment with a fag and was even more outraged when Reade brought him to the company dinner. No, Harrold would put a stop to all this even if it hurt their son for the rest of his life.

  “Remember how we got your father to let you go to private school?” she asked and saw the sparkle in her son’s eyes. “Well, I have another brilliant idea that might just bring your father down a few pegs,” she said as she walked to the door. “I’ll be back in a little while. For now, I think you should work on that project. It might come in handy down the road.”

  Reade had no idea what his mother would do, but he knew she would do something to help. He also knew that his mother was no dummy either. She got him out of the house when life was becoming unbearable in his youth. She managed to convince her husband that private school would ‘toughen up their son’ and she had something up her sleeve now. Reade was intrigued.

  With an exasperated sigh, he opened his laptop and began writing emails. After hitting the send button several times, he sat back, stared at the distant wall, and thought. I hate my life, hate my father for what he’s done to me, hate that Alex is in a coma and I hate that I can’t see him. But most of all I hate me!

  His laptop went to screensaver as he continued to dwell in self-pity. He was startled when a young man in jeans and polo shirt opened the door. “Are you Reade?”

  “Yes, I am. Who are you?”

  "Wow, you look so much better than the last time I saw you. My name is Jason. I’m one of the paramedics who helped you and Alex at the accident,” said Jason as he approached Reade, hand outstretched. “I think we need to talk.”

  Chapter 10

  Reade took Jason’s offered hand and thanked him for rescuing him. “You said you helped with Alex, too?” he asked still holding Jason’s hand.

  “Yes, another firefighter and I scaled down the ravine. He was in pretty bad shape when we reached him, but we managed to get him stabilized and brought him here. He’s in a coma in critical condition, as you must already know.”

  “Yeah, I know and I want to see him, but I’m stuck here in this room,” said Reade letting Jason’s hand fall. “Why are you giving me information about Alex? My father has made it clear that any hospital staff doing so will lose their job. I don’t want you to get fired.”

  “May I?” asked Jason as he pulled the chair closer to the bed.

  “Yeah, make yourself comfortable.”

  Just then, the door opened. “I see you found my son,” said a smiling Ellissa as she entered the room and gathered her tote from the coffee table in the sitting area. Seeing the shock and surprise on her son’s face, “I’ll leave the two of you to talk. See you later sweetheart.” She was out the door before Reade could say a thing.

  “She sent you, didn’t she?” a smile on his face.

  “Your mother asked me if I could help you, so what’s the real problem here Reade?”

  “Are you sure you want to get into this?” asked Reade. “You may regret your answer so think it through,” said Reade half-serious. “Do you know who my father is?”

  Jason laughed. “Yeah, I know who Harrold Calan is. And I know who Reade Calan is too. Before you say another word, let me say that I don’t care what Harrold Calan thinks he can do to me. Okay?”

  Jason had a way with people that made them feel great. He knew very little about the life of a wealthy child. What he saw, through his job, told him that most were spoiled brats. Ellissa gave him a different picture of Reade and asked for his help.

  For several minutes, both young men sat in silence. Jason could see that Reade was thinking and felt it necessary to let him have all the time he needed.

  “Jason,” said Reade breaking the silence, “I’m in a bind here. Apparently my mother thinks you might be the answer to my problems.”

  “Suppose you fill me in and maybe we can figure something out,” replied Jason as he relaxed into the chair.

  Reade stayed silent for a few minutes as if he were making a major decision. Then he opened up. He related growing up with a tyrant, dominating father. How he and his mother colluded to get Harrold to allow him to go to private school, and how they did the same when he wanted to share an apartment with Alex.

  “So for the past two years you’ve lived a double life?”

  “More like ten years,” said Reade with a sheepish grin.

  “Oh this is going to be good,” said Jason. “Go for it, I’ve got all afternoon.”

  “I knew I was different from the other boys when I attended private school. Have you ever gone to private school?”

  “No offense, but our lives are vastly different. I went to public school, put myself through college and was the happiest guy on earth when I got accepted to the paramedic program.”

  “Well, private school is like nothing most people can imagine. Don’t get me wrong, it’s tough. We had to maintain grades, had curfews, required sports programs, among other things.”

  Jason listened as Reade talked about rich kids getting away from dominating, or in many cases, absentee parents. “We were like a unit of soldiers with a common background. That is when I learned about sex. Imagine 200 teens going through puberty without parents around, living under one roof,” said a very smiling Reade.

  “Oh my God, I can’t imagine. Tell me you guys didn’t have dorm sex parties,” laughed a very excited Jason.

  “Not quite, but we did experiment, learned from the older guys, and some of us found we enjoyed it a lot.”

  “Wow, so what changed?”

  “School finished and I went home.” Reade continued his life story; living under the thumb of a tyrant father. While away at college, he had opportunities to experiment with his sexuality in ways very different from private school.

  “So how
did you and Alex end up sharing an apartment?”

  “Actually my mother had a lot to do with that…”

  While Reade was in college, Ellissa completely remodeled their main home. She said it was time. Harrold didn’t argue as long as she didn’t touch his space. During the two-year long renovation, she repeatedly told Harrold how much she enjoyed the house with just the two of them. She got through to her husband that it was time for their son to have a place of his own.

  Fortunately, Harrold was deeply involved in a corporate merger and allowed Ellissa and Reade to work out the details.

  “Alex and I met at the gym one morning. We both had long, busy days and only found time to work out in the early morning.”

  “Did you date or did that come after you moved in?”

  “We really didn’t date, but we did go out together. Our interests overlapped quite well.”

  Alex and Reade met most mornings at the gym. Time permitting they shared an early breakfast at the coffee shop next to the gym, learning about each other, their goals, and dreams. One morning Reade mentioned, in passing, that he was looking for an apartment. “Really?” asked Alex, “I’m looking for a roommate.”

  They talked about Alex’s apartment, the central location, and the two parking spaces that he bought with the place. After checking it out, Reade agreed it was perfect and made arrangements to move in.

  “Wait. You just spent all this time telling me how hard it was to do anything without your father’s permission. How did you pull this off?”

  “Harrold was too busy.”

  “You call your father Harrold?” asked Jason with a roaring laugh. “You really call him by his first name?”

  Now much more comfortable, Reade laughed along with Jason. “Harrold insists that I use his proper name whenever we’re in public or when I refer to him in conversation. He says calling him dad is unprofessional.”

  Harrold, so completely immersed in the corporate merger of his career, allowed Ellissa to help their son find a suitable apartment. He didn’t realize that Reade had moved out for over a month. Ellissa explained that Reade met a nice young professional at the gym and they now shared an apartment. Harrold grunted his approval and went right back to the merger.

  He and Ellissa met Alex and Reade at the club for dinner to celebrate the completed merger. Harrold was relentless, asking Alex about his education, his job goals, and finally asked if he was dating anyone special. When Alex responded that he had not found the right man yet, the table went silent.

  It took a minute but Harrold finally got it. “You mean my son is sharing an apartment with a fag?” he whispered. He was incensed but this was his club where he was highly respected. A scene, here, was out of the question. “You knew about this Ellissa? You knew my son was sharing an apartment with a fag and never told me?”

  “No Harrold, I didn’t know Alex was gay. What could Alex’s sexual preferences possibly matter anyway?”

  Harrold could see others looking at them, smiled, and said to his wife and son, “This is not acceptable. I will not have a fag corrupting my son.”

  Reade, Alex and Ellissa were amazed at Harrold’s outburst. Alex started to respond to the insults thrown his way, when the waiter appeared at his side. “Is everything all right Mr. Calan?”

  Quick thinking, Ellissa replied, “Yes, we were having a very interesting conversation. I’m sorry if we disturbed anyone.”

  The waiter smiled, gave a slight nod, and left.

  “Harrold; Reade and Alex have a two year signed lease. And yes, I’m sure one of your fancy lawyers could break it, but I think you have more important things to attend to right now.” They finished dinner in silence.

  “Wow, I don’t know what else to say!” exclaimed Jason as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

  Reade laughed at Jason’s response to his story. “My mother has a stubborn streak in her that Harrold – dad, finds difficult to oppose. The apartment has been a wedge between them ever since that dinner. Now dad has purchased a condo for me, without even letting me see it. My lease is up soon and he says I have to move out of Alex’s apartment. What he doesn’t understand is that I don’t want his condo and I don’t want to move out.”

  “What’s the worst he can do if you go against him? You’re an adult with great credentials. I’m sure you can find another job, possibly even better than the one you have at Calan.”

  Reade looked at Jason as if he were an alien on the planet for the first time. “He will make my life hell!”

  “How? Tell me how your father can make your life hell Reade?” Jason surmised how Harrold worked from his chat with Ellissa and from Reade’s story but he wanted to hear it from Reade. “How will your father make your life hell? Tell me Reade.”

  Reade seemed lost in thought after Jason’s insistent question. “He would fire me and make it impossible for me to get a job. If I did manage to get one, he would make the company that hired me wish they never knew my name. Then he would go after Alex in the same way. Our lives would be over.”

  Jason sat looking at the man in the bed next to him. He felt angry and sad for him at the same time. “I don’t think he would do that to his only son and heir to the Calan fortune.”

  “You have no idea what it’s like living under the thumb of a tyrant like my father. He would do it and not look back.”

  “It would appear that your mother has some influence, though. She asked me to help and I’m willing to help you, but you need to help yourself, too. And I won’t lose my job since I don’t work for the hospital. I might have an idea that would give you most of what you want. Are you willing to stand up to him, knowing what he could do to you?”

  “You have no idea what my father is capable of. If he wants, you will lose your job just for talking to me about Alex.”

  “Yeah, well that’s the difference between you and me. I don’t give a shit about what your father wants. If you have the balls to stomach some of his anger, I can help you see Alex.”

  Jason’s phone rang. “I have to take this, it’s work,” said Jason. The conversation was short and to the point with Jason saying, he’d be right there. “As much as I’d rather stay and listen to this amazing story, I have to get to the firehouse. One of the paramedics had a family emergency so I agreed to finish his shift before mine starts.”

  Reade felt so comfortable talking with Jason. It was almost as if the man were a long time friend. “For what it’s worth, I’d like to hear your thoughts and your plan.”

  “I think I might be able to help you Reade,” said Jason as he stood to leave, “but only you can make that decision. From what you and your mother have told me, this could be life changing. I have my regular shift after this so I’ll be back in two days.”

  Reade thanked Jason for his company and for listening to a spoiled brat talk about himself. At the door, Jason said, “For now do what your father wants. Don’t let on that we’ve talked. It will be better for both of us.” Then he was gone.

  Reade stared at the closing door. I hate my father, hate what he’s done to my mother and me, and hate that he is trying to prevent me from seeing Alex. I’ll listen to you Jason and if I can, I’ll grow the balls necessary to make this happen.

  Startled by his ringing phone, Reade returned to this reality. “Reade Calan,” he said into the phone as he retrieved his notepad. The call, from legal, was in answer to one of his emails. Harrold put the fear of god into his legal people after he left Reade that morning. He told them to make sure Reade got everything necessary to create a tariff-free trade agreement with the Asian consortium. As usual his scare tactics were working.

  The call lasted far too long for Reade’s comfort. He wanted to close his eyes after meeting with Jason. Now he was in a heated discussion with several legal experts who knew more than he imagined anyone could know about doing business with Asia. Yet they bowed down to the boss’s son as if he were the one with the knowledge.

  One thing Reade learned from watching his f
ather during negotiations was that he surrounded himself with people in the know. He decided to use that skill in this situation. He asked the legal staff for suggestions and asked them to develop a plan of action. They accepted his direction saying they would present a plan to the boss in a day or two.

  “No, you present the plan to me. We work on this together then we go to my father as a group. If you sidestep me, he will not only have your heads, he’ll make my life miserable, too. So please work with me.”

  Having worked with Harrold Calan for years, the department head agreed with Reade’s plan of attack. He had seen too many good people lose their jobs because Harrold didn’t like something they did. He needed his job and allowing the boss’s son some limelight did not bother him one bit.

  The plan in place, Reade ended the call. He closed his eyes and thought about a life with Alex if Harrold were not in the picture. Sleep soon took him into that dream. He remembered the good times he had with Alex, his smile when Reade surprised him with flowers and a bottle of wine on their one-year anniversary. He remembered how hurt Alex felt after the dinner at the club that night. He was dreaming of Alex alone in ICU.

  The duty nurse awakened him as she took his vitals. “I’m sorry Reade. I thought I could get this done while you slept. I’ll finish up and let you go back to sleep.”

  Reade tolerated the poking and prodding as she took his blood pressure. The IVs had been removed that morning allowing him free use of his arms. Finished with her task, the duty nurse asked if he needed anything. He shook his head no, so she left him to his thoughts and dreams.

  He picked up his phone and hit a button in his favorites section. “Tell me what to do. If I go against him, my life will be ruined. If I continue to allow him to rule me, my life will be ruined. What should I do?”

  He listened quietly. “He’ll know you helped me. What will you do?” He listened to the answer with his eyes closed picturing the fights that would happen if he went against his father. “Why are you doing this? I don’t understand. He’ll ruin you.” His mind wandered as he listened to the reply.