Hammered: A Shadows of Chicago Novel

by Rose Hudson

  She’s carrying my bag and a clear box when she comes back in, setting it on the counter and holding my bag out to me.

  “Look inside,” I say.

  She furrows her brow but unzips the bag, her eyes widening when she spots the bear, pulling it out and holding it to her chest.

  “How did you—”

  I see a glimmer in her eyes when she looks at me, and I have to swallow down the memory of that time Liam and her and I shared together. Such a small blip of time that left such a mark on a soul I didn’t know I had until them—until her.

  “Bruno. He sniffed it out on the running trail.”

  She smiles weakly and I know she feels it too, remembers it.

  “Thank you,” she says and I nod. She lays the bear on the counter and pulls out several items from the first aid kit.

  She lines up each item along the far side of the tub, leaning over me to reach for a washcloth. Done with the half-truths and ready for her to look me in the eyes, I grab her hips and pull her over the side and into the tub, forcing her to straddle my waist.

  “I cannot believe you just—”

  “Believe it. Look at me, Lydia.”

  She lifts her gaze, locking eyes with mine.

  “Tell me. Tell me what the hell is going on and quit making me feel like I’m losing my damn mind. A week ago, I walked out of this apartment and was certain I’d never see you again, then you show up tonight. Why? And I want the whole truth.”

  She dips the washcloth in the water, wringing it out and gently dabbing the cut above my eye. My eyes stay trained on her every expression, waiting for her to finally open to me. Her chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh.

  “The day we went to the pier, you said something that I didn’t understand until the next day when I got a call from Kelli. She gave me some inside information about Cameron that pertained to you and I put two and two together. I realized that you were considering pulling from the fight because of me. Before the phone call from Kelli, I would’ve been just fine with that. I would’ve built a hell of a case and we could have dealt with things in court the way I’ve always thought things like this were handled. But after I learned what he was capable of, I knew the only way it could be handled was your way.”

  She wipes my cheek, then my lip.

  “But I know how stubborn you are and that I couldn’t just tell you to take the fight and I would be on the sideline to support you. You would’ve pulled out, or worse, you would’ve fought anyway, focusing more on me than the fight and putting yourself at risk of getting really hurt. So, I did what I had to do and I pushed you away. At least I knew that way you could focus on what you needed to do without me in the way, and I could only hope that you would listen to what I had to say afterward and forgive me.”

  All I can do is stare at her, my brain that was spinning earlier coming to a complete stop and going numb. I reach up, rubbing the pad of my thumb over her perfect mouth.

  “Forgive you? I’m in complete fucking awe of you. But I’m angry with myself for not putting it together before now. You always put others before yourself, so why would this be any different? I just never imagined someone like you doing something like this for someone like me.”

  She drops the washcloth in the water, leaning forward and cupping my face.

  “You are the greatest most deserving man I’ve ever met. I’d do anything for you. Don’t ever doubt that, Stone. Ever.”

  Her eyes search mine and I want to pull her to me, but I see the rest she wants to say written on her face.

  “Tell me you feel the same way. Tell me I’m not alone in this, that I’m not imagining how good we are together.”

  I grab her hips and pull her closer.

  “Lydia, I could start fucking fires with what I feel for you. I don’t deserve you because I’m this great guy that you see, I deserve you because there is no other person in this world that loves you the way I do. I may be the worst at a lot of things, but when it comes to loving you, I’m the best. And you aren’t imagining anything. We are so good together, and I know we always can be.”

  A tear falls down her cheek and I wrap my hand around her neck, crashing my lips to hers and feeling like I’m tasting her for the first time.

  I taste a love that will never be bitter. A love that will never tire or falter, but a fire that will only grow and a foundation that will only strengthen.

  A love that I’ve never known until I was nailed, body and soul.

  Hammered at the hands of the greatest lover, enemy, friend and opponent I have or will ever know.

  And winning the only fight that’s ever been worth fighting.

  I’d gladly do it all over again to give my children something better one day. At the end of the day, if you can’t do that for your family, then what does being a champion really mean?

  Months later…

  IT’S CRAZY TO THINK THAT when I moved into this apartment years ago, I thought it was then that I was an adult. Starting a life for myself, pursuing my ambitions, becoming the woman I wanted to be, and a woman my parents could be proud of.

  But walking through, checking closets and cabinets, filling and stacking the last of the moving boxes, I recognize it for what it was; a stepping stone.

  The life I thought I was starting never really began until Stone walked into it. The ambitions and dreams I was pursuing weren’t real and achievable until Stone shined a light down the dark path I was walking, to show me the way. The woman I thought I was becoming was not half the woman Stone has shown me I want to be.

  My circle has always been small, exclusive—selective. My thoughts and views narrow and lacking in empathy and the open-mindedness that I thought I possessed.

  He showed me that not all things in this life are as they seem. Everyone has a story to tell, and not everything covered in shadows is to be feared.

  As it vibrates with a notification, I pull my phone from the back pocket of my jeans, seeing a text from Mom as I unlock the screen.

  Aston says he’s firing up the grill at 6. You two better get a move on.

  I scroll over to Stone’s name and type out a text.

  Just stacked up the last of the boxes. Almost here with the truck?

  I stick my phone back in my pocket and start for the kitchen just as the unmistakable shape of him fills the open doorway of my now empty apartment.

  “Surely you’ve learned by now that I’m always on time?” He smirks at me, hands gripping the doorframe above his head.

  “And surely you’ve learned by now that I question everything, even your impeccable timing.” I walk to him, running my hands over the firm skin of his abdomen that shows just above his belt where his shirt rides up. He leans down and kisses me. That soft, slow promise of more.

  There’s always more with Stone.

  “You ready?” I ask.

  “For you? Always.” His hands slip under my shirt, the wide plane skimming the skin at my sides. “I’ve missed you this week.” He says, his voice low.

  “Just think, after today I’m all yours.” I take his face in my hands, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. “But if we don’t get going we’ll be late.” I reach into my pocket and pull out my keys, singling out my apartment key and freeing it from the keychain. Walking into the kitchen, I lay the key atop the counter, taking one last look around and smiling, knowing for the first time in a long time that so much good is yet to come.

  “Are these the only two?” Stone points to the boxes by the door and I nod. “Here, this one’s lighter.” He lifts one and hands it over to me.

  We carry the boxes out into the hallway, pausing as I lock the door and close it behind us. Turning to look at Stone, I feel as though I’ve opened one instead.

  “You good?” he asks, eyes looking for reservation in mine. I smile because I know he won’t find any.

  “Perfect.”

  Leaving the moving truck full of boxes containing all my life’s possessions in the driveway of what will now be our home in
stead of just Stone’s, feels indescribable. I can’t help but look over at him as we drive to Aston and Liz’s house, wondering how he feels. If the way he’s held my hand, thumb rubbing the top in circles that keep my thoughts focused on him, are any indication, then I would say I’m safe assuming he’s as nervously excited as I am.

  “Are you nervous to tell your Dad and Aston?” Stone asks as we pull through the gate. I shake my head.

  “I’ve already mentioned that you and I were going into business together, just haven’t said exactly what.”

  “You think they’ll be disappointed that it’s not a more lucrative business choice? I know they want you to be taken care of and I want them to know you will be.”

  I squeeze his hand as we pull into their driveway, leaning over to kiss his cheek as he puts the truck in park.

  “They just care that we’re happy, no more, no less.” Reaching for the door handle, I look up and down the street, pausing when I spot Celia’s car. “I thought your mom couldn’t get off work?” Stone follows my eyes.

  “Yeah, she probably thinks I’m going to propose or we’re going to tell everyone you’re pregnant. She couldn’t miss that, could she?” His smile is full, making me match it in return.

  “Man, is she going to be disappointed.” I laugh as we open our doors and step out, Stone taking my hand as we head up the walkway.

  “Nah, she knows I’m never letting you go. If I had my way, you’d already have my ring on your finger.”

  My stomach dips at his words, knowing the truth in them.

  I open the front door, not bothering to ring the bell knowing that everyone is out back. When we step through the French doors of the back patio, I’m pleased to see that everyone is here and I’m not going to have to wait long to announce our news. Stone’s brow furrows when he sees Thorn in attendance and he looks over at me.

  “What? I felt like he needed to be here, too. He is part of the family after all.”

  Thorn walks up right on cue.

  “Hey, fucker. Told you I’d get to come party with you and your high-class friends someday.” He slaps Stone on the shoulder, leaning over to kiss my cheek.

  “Yeah, well, my girlfriend likes you more than I do, so you have her to thank for that.”

  “Don’t you worry about me and L. We got it like that.” Thorn winks at me and Stone mouths “L” questioningly. I shrug, bumping fists with Thorn as I spot Liam bouncing in Liz’s lap.

  “Excuse me boys, I have to see about a cutie,” I say, kissing Stone’s cheek before walking over to the table where all the ladies are sitting. I squat down in front of Liz, making eye contact with Liam.

  When he spots me, his chubby little arms begin to flail and a grin forms on his mouth, looking even more like Madi than he did last week.

  “You better come to Aunt Lydia before all these girls steal my hugs.” I take him in my arms, squeezing him tight.

  “I’m beginning to think the only reason you come around anymore is to see this chunky monkey,” Madi says, using her cane to stand and give me a hug.

  “That’s only half true,” I say, pulling back to look her over. “You look really good. How are you liking the new job?”

  “For right now, it’s great. Not too demanding. It’s good to get out of the house.”

  I nod, knowing what a big step this is for her. The Tribune needed a freelance photographer to work on some commission pieces for the summer and Madi was just released from the intensive phase of her physical therapy, so the timing worked out perfectly.

  I look around the table, smiling at my mother and Celia. “I’m glad you were able to make it, Celia.” I bend and give her a hug, then Mom, Liam’s hands fisting strands of my hair as I do.

  “It’s the first Labor Day weekend I’ve had off since I can remember. Wouldn’t miss it,” Celia says, tickling at Liam’s foot as it dangles at my side. “I sure can’t wait until you kids slow down long enough to give me a couple of these to spoil.”

  Liam kicks and giggles, squirming in my arms.

  I look around, locating Stone standing over with the guys, surprised to see he and Jerry talking with my Dad, sipping from their beers and looking as if this is how it’s always been, how it always will be.

  “I can’t wait either,” I reply, my heart growing at the mere thought of bringing a little human into the world with all the good parts of Stone and me.

  “Is that the big news you have to tell us?” My mom’s voice is in that high register that brings me out of my baby daydream, and I look at her, confused, realizing what I’ve said. I shake my head.

  “One day,” I say, Stone looking up to see me looking at him, one side of his mouth quirking up into a grin, eyes saying so much more.

  “Here, I think you better give him back before you catch the fever,” Liz says, taking Liam over to his playpen. My hand falls to my pocket, feeling for the presence of the circular object, the weight of it feeling much heavier with the knowledge of what I’m about to do.

  “I guess I better go say hi to my son since he’s apparently forgotten his manners.” Celia winks at me as she stands from her seat, making her way over to where the guys are.

  “Maybe we should go see if Margaret needs any help in the kitchen,” Madi says and I nod, taking one last look over my shoulder at Stone as we head inside.

  My heart has felt like it’s going to pound out of my chest since my feet hit the floor this morning. Not for any one reason, but a combination of several.

  All the feelings that fighting used to bring me have been satisfied and replaced by the ones only Lydia can make me feel. Every day with her brings a new challenge, and I fucking love it. She challenges me to be not only a better man and brother and son and friend, but a better human. And I know when I take my last breath, I’ll have her to thank for the impact I leave behind.

  And we’ve only just gotten started.

  For months, we’ve talked at length about what we really want to do with our lives, how we can use our experiences and skill to better serve those around us. And if it hadn’t been for her determination and persistence, the things I only dreamed of doing would never be set in motion, and now, turning into reality.

  Every time she looks at me from across the wide scape of the Eriksson’s back veranda, I get the sense that today is the day to finally do it.

  She fought me, but after months of telling her that I didn’t want to wake up without her beside me, she finally decided to move in with me. I didn’t even wait a week after she came to the fight to start in on her because I knew. Shit, if I’m honest with myself, I knew the night I laid in bed with her and listened to her tell me about her nightmares, long before I was willing to admit that she got inside me and stayed there.

  These days, marriage seems to have lost its meaning, but I want her to wear my ring on her finger, to take my last name and build this life with me from the ground up.

  I’ve carried this ring around in my pocket for months, waiting for the day that she quits fighting me on it, but I know she has her own reasons. She loves me, and God, do I love her.

  Jerry hands me another beer and I nod in thanks, twisting the top off and drinking from the bottle.

  “Do you have any furniture that you need help moving? I have tomorrow off, too, if you do,” he offers.

  “Lydia donated her furniture, other than a few pieces, so I think we’re good. Besides, I’m sure Mom could find a few things for you to do with the remodel.” I smirk.

  Jerry shakes his head.

  “I’m about sick of that damn remodel. But we’ve finally got the money to spend, and she’s doing a pretty good job of getting rid of it.”

  “Well, then maybe I should return that new leather recliner I got for you,” a voice says from behind Jerry.

  He turns to see Celia walking up behind him. He shoots me a look and I hold up a hand.

  “Don’t look at me. How do you think she always caught us doing bad shit? She’s a ninja.” She laughs, leaning in to
hug me. “You’ll have to teach me that one of these days.”

  “A ninja never reveals their secrets.” She winks. We watch as Aston and Stellan get the meat from the grill. “Honey, don’t just stand there, see if they need some help.” She shoos Jerry off toward them. When he’s out of earshot, I ask her a question that’s been nagging at me.

  “So, why don’t you tell me how you two suddenly came into all this cash? You haven’t taken money from me in months.” She looks around us, voice low when she answers.

  “We don’t need your money anymore, son.”

  My eyes narrow, waiting for her to elaborate.

  “Nobody has come knocking at our door in months.”

  “You mean, nobody?”

  She nods and we look at each other for a long beat, understanding passing between us.

  “Any idea how something like that happens after all these years?”

  “I’ve thought about it a hundred times, and the only thing I can trace it back to is Rush’s legal trouble. Our last visit was before that, then nothing since. Honestly, I figured you had something to do with it, figured you would get around to telling me in your own time like you do with everything else.”

  My heart rate begins to pick up for the hundredth time today and I take a long drink from the beer in my hand. Looking over Celia’s shoulder, I make eye contact with Lydia just before her and Madison go inside the house. I look back to Celia.

  My heart stops.

  “Lydia.”

  The smell of the kitchen makes my stomach growl as we walk in, the center island covered with serving platters full of side dishes and desserts.

  “You girls are just in time,” Margaret says, taking rolls from the oven. “Everything is ready to start taking out.”

  “I think you outdid yourself as always, Mags,” Madison says, grabbing a platter with her free hand. I study her for a second, keeping my concern hidden as she balances her cane in one hand and the food in the other. She pushes herself, and she’d kick any of our asses if we tried to stop her.