Soldier

by AKM Miles

  “Yes, sir. I am. That’s some good chicken.”

  “Anybody else?”

  “How about putting the chicken on the table, and now that you know their names, we can get some and they can serve themselves all they want. Don’t make yourself sick, guys, okay?” Clearly Dillon wasn’t used to having to tell them to go easy on the food, as there wasn’t usually a surfeit. “Have one more piece each. Then we’ll have dessert with cold milk, and then after clean-up, it’ll be time to think about bed. Story or song tonight?”

  They all looked at Tommy, who blushed, but nodded his head. He’d sing for them tonight.

  ***

  It was late and most of the kids were in bed, or what passed for beds: a lot of mattresses on the floors in the rooms upstairs. Nails on the walls held the few clothes the children owned. It had been decided that Soldier would sleep in an old recliner that was downstairs. If they put it up against the wall, the broken part would be okay and he could sleep there. He figured if they worked it right, it would hold Gom and him. It wasn’t even discussed. He knew he was going to let the boy stay with him if there was any chance it would help the kid sleep. He wondered about that.

  Soldier kept a mental list going. There was a dilapidated couch by of the front window, which had old curtains that were dark and ugly. Soldier wasn’t sure if they were blue, black, or a dark green. They kept out curious people, he figured. There were no little tables, knickknacks, or any of the things that usually made up a home. This was simply a shelter for these boys. A safe place to stay, but not really a home. He thought that was a shame.

  Soldier had passed out all the toiletries he’d gotten and was touched by how thrilled the young boys were with the small gifts most people took for granted. They needed beds, sheets, pillows, table and chairs, couches, lamps, dressers. He’d have to see about getting a washer and dryer. For this many people, that was a necessity. That meant checking on the electric outlets. There was so much to do. So much he had to talk to Dillon about. How to get all this done without alerting people to the kids’ presence and messing up the good thing Dillon had going on here?

  Soldier looked up and there were Dillon and Gom. They both looked hesitant. It was clear to him that Gom wanted to curl up on him and get some real sleep and Dillon was dying to ask if he could. He knew how much the boy meant to Dillon and it killed him that Gom couldn’t sleep. Gom did look tired. He was not going to make them ask.

  He went over to the chair and sat down, gingerly, and stretched out as much as he could and said, “Where’s my living, breathing blanket? Gom, you comin’ up here?”

  “See, Dill? That’s why I love him. He’s a good man. I love you, too, though. Don’t think I don’t. I’m gonna go pee and be back in a minute, Soldier. Thanks for askin’ me to sleep with you.”

  Gom ran to the bathroom upstairs and Dillon looked at Soldier all spread out before him.

  “I think I’m jealous of Gom. How sick is that?”

  “Shit. Don’t say that. I don’t want to have to explain anything awkward to the boy. We’ll find our time... somehow.”

  “I wondered. You said it was strictly business and I thought...”

  “Dillon, I was talking about putting both our names on the bank account and the accounts at the stores was just business... so either of us could shop when we were out, or buy things for the house.” Soldier couldn’t have Dillon thinking that he didn’t want them to be together. “I didn’t want you to think I was trying to get you to do anything you didn’t want to by putting our names together like that. See?”

  “Yeah. Cool. We’ve still got a lot of talking to do, but I’m glad you’re here.” Dillon stepped over and touched Soldier’s cheek, the scarred one. It was only a quick caress, since they heard Gom’s feet on the stairs, but they both felt it.

  “I’m back. G’night, Dill. Will you be able to sleep without me up there?”

  “Yeah, baby. I’ll be fine. You crawl up on Soldier and get a good night’s sleep for me, okay? You know I worry when you don’t sleep.”

  “It’s okay now. I’ll sleep good tonight, won’t I, Soldier?” Gom looked to Soldier for verification.

  “Sure, buddy. Here, now, get comfortable and don’t wiggle too much or we’ll both hit the floor. I’m not sure about this chair.”

  Gom giggled again. “That’d be funny if we did.”

  “Says you. I don’t think so.” Soldier smiled for Gom.

  Dillon laughed a little as they settled.

  Gom said to Soldier, “Good night. Soldier. I promise I won’t sleep on you all the time... just when I really, really need it. You’re a good guy to let me.”

  Gom reached up and patted Soldier’s scarred cheek and was out like a light. Soldier could feel Gom breathing against his neck. There were places in between some of the worst scars where he still had feeling. Those small little bursts of air against him were almost unbearably sweet. Soldier lay there and thought and planned for a long time before he dozed off.

  Chapter Six

  Soldier woke when he felt something warm and wet on his stomach and side. Uh-oh. Gom had peed. Before he could wake the boy up, he felt him stirring and he knew when Gom realized he had wet on him. He instantly started to cry and tried to get up. Soldier wasn’t having that.

  “Hey. Gom. Ease up, buddy. What’s the matter?” Like Soldier didn’t know.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m bad, so bad, bad boy. Don’t... don’t... I’m sorry... please...”

  “Shhhhh. Hey.” Soldier picked him up, easily, and turned him to face him.

  “Look at me. Come on. Do I look mad? Gom, look at me, hon. See, I’m not mad. So you peed. Big deal.” This kid was too upset over something so small. “I’ve got other clothes and we can take a quick shower before anyone else is up. No one will know about it. Why are you crying?”

  “You’re not gonna hit me?”

  “Why would I hit you, honey?”

  “Cause I peed. I got you wet. It stinks. I’m bad. I’m sorry. I’m not worth killin’. I know.” The tears were still there, slowly running down Gom's face and it was all Soldier could do not to join in. Sounded like this child had been through hell.

  “Who told you that garbage?”

  “Garbage?”

  “Yeah, who told you that you were bad, and not worth killin’? Who hit you when you just peed?”

  Gom looked down and would have hidden his face if Soldier had let him.

  “Hey, Gom, we’re buddies now. I don’t just let anyone sleep on me. That means I trust you.” Soldier was talking quietly and softly, wanting Gom to know it was okay, but also wanting the boy to tell him something so he could help.

  Gom just sniffed and wouldn’t meet Soldier’s eyes.

  “Last night you told me you love me. So that means you should trust me, too. Do you?”

  Gom nodded so hard his hair bounced on his forehead, but tears still ran.

  “If you trust me, you’ll tell me who hit you. It wasn’t Dillon, was it?” Soldier knew it wasn’t, no way. But he figured Gom would defend Dillon and maybe tell him who it was. It worked.

  “Nuh-uh! He would never hit me. He loves me, too. It... it... was...” Gom dropped his head and whispered, “My mom. She hated me.”

  “Now that’s just awful. How could anyone hate you? You’re a great kid. I liked you right away. Your mom, I’m sorry if it makes you mad, but your mom was just crazy. Wrong.” Soldier truly couldn’t believe a mother could hate this sweet child.

  “Really? I thought moms was always right and kids didn’t know nothin’.”

  “Yep. Just wrong. Sometimes moms don’t know how to be good moms and they should not have great kids like you.” God knew that was true.

  “Me?”

  “I don’t know where she is, but you’re here now, and Dillon and I both think you’re the best. You believe both of us, don’t you?”

  Slowly Gom raised his head and looked right in Soldier’s eyes with this dawning expression on his fa
ce.

  Soldier could almost read Gom’s thoughts. His mom was wrong? Could it be? Maybe he wasn’t a bad boy.

  Gom frowned again.

  “What? Tell me, Gom, you know you can trust me.”

  “I still peed on you and it stinks and you oughta be mad, but you’re not. You’re being nice to me. How come?”

  “Cause I like you. Cause I don’t care if you peed on me. You slept good all night, didn’t you?”

  Gom nodded strongly again and almost smiled, “I was comferble on you. It was like I was safe and warm and... special.”

  “Oh, buddy, you are... all three of those things, from now on. Okay, do you have some clean clothes? I have some over there in that bag. They’re probably wrinkled, but I’m just going to be working in them. What say we go shower and we’ll keep this our secret?” Soldier so wanted this kid to know he was all right.

  Gom wiggled to be let go, so Soldier let him and he had a chestful of Gom again. Gom was crying again, silently like Dillon had said. But Soldier didn’t think the boy was upset this time. It felt different. He let Gom cry for a few moments, then said, teasing, “Okay, now you’re wetting the top half of me, too. Give me a break, will ya?”

  Gom laughed a little and pulled back to look at Soldier. He reached up and patted Soldier’s scarred cheek, love evident in the caress. Soldier had no doubt that he’d become this child’s hero. Soldier didn’t even question the joy he got from that knowledge. He just let it soak in.

  They got up and snuck upstairs together. Gom tiptoed into the room where Dillon was asleep and grabbed some clothes off a shelf and met Soldier back in the hall.

  They went into the bathroom and Soldier quickly stripped the wet clothes off the child and set him in the tub. He told Gom to stand in the back until he got the water right, then he closed the curtain and told Gom to hurry.

  “I’m clean, Soldier.” Gom’s whisper came quickly. Soldier leaned in, turned off the water, and had a thin towel ready for Gom when he stepped out. Soldier almost chuckled at how fast Gom whipped the towel over himself.

  The little boy bent over to swipe across his ankles and feet and Soldier caught his breath. Was that? No, surely not. It looked like there were little rows of round circles across the bottom of Gom’s little buttocks. Soldier shook his head. He didn’t even want to let his mind go there. Maybe it was just shadows or something. He’d have to ask Dillon.

  After telling Gom to hurry and get dressed and to sit and wait for him, Soldier threw a towel over the rod and jumped in, throwing his clothes out. He hurried through his own shower and grabbed the towel, using it quickly, then wrapping it around his waist.

  When Soldier stepped out, Gom was dressed and sitting on the top of the commode. He looked scared to death. He was actually shaking. His eyes rounded, though, when he saw how bad Soldier’s scars were and how far down Soldier's side they went. It looked like tears were going to start again.

  “Hey now, don’t cry. You already cried cause I got hurt, remember? You don’t have to re-cry.” Soldier teased him, trying to stop the tears. “It was over a good while ago and it doesn’t hurt anymore. Don’t worry about me.” God, what a sweet, loving kid. “Go check and see if we’re still the first ones up. If we are, will you help me make pancakes?”

  Gom jumped down and went out, very quietly. Soldier dressed quickly and followed him, coming face to face with a sleepy and -- God help him -- sexy Dillon, heading for the bathroom.

  “You’re up early,” Dillon stated in a rough, sleepy voice.

  “Gom and I wanted to shower before everyone else got up.”

  Dillon nodded, knowingly, and said, “Oooops. Thanks for taking it so well.”

  “Handled it better than he did. Spent a little time convincing him he wasn’t a bad boy, he was too worth killin’, and no one was going to hit him. Even convinced him his mom was wrong.”

  “Wow, he told you about his mom?” Dillon looked amazed again.

  “Some. He’s hiding a lot of pain. She obviously convinced him he was more or less worthless. Workin’ on that. I know you are, too.” Soldier fought the need to reach out and touch. Dillon was sleepy, rumpled, and sexy beyond standing. He wanted to taste, just a little. Nope. Not.

  “Oh, when I was trying to get him to tell me who hit him for peeing in the bed, I asked him if it was you. I knew it wasn’t, but I wanted him to defend you and tell me. That’s just what he did. He loves you very much.” Soldier did touch him now, just a quick caress on the smooth cheek that still showed the crease lines from the pillow. “You have helped him tremendously. What you do is remarkable. We need to talk later. I have some concerns. Just know I’m proud of what you’re doing,” Soldier said.

  “I try.”

  “I want to know so much. How you got into this. How do you manage it? Where did you start? How did you come to be here?” The questions just kept coming, pouring out. “Where do the kids come from? How do the bills get paid? You have electricity and water and so on. I don’t get it.” Soldier was full of questions and concerns this morning after thinking for a good portion of the night.

  “I’ll explain all I can. Right now, uh... can I get in there?”

  “Sorry. Sure. I’m gonna go down and start breakfast. Okay to make pancakes?”

  “Great. Where’s Gom?” Dillon looked around the hall. All was quiet.

  ”I sent him to see if we were still the first ones up. I wanted him out so I could get dressed. I was afraid he would start asking embarrassing questions. I’m new to this. Protocol, you know.” Soldier went on to explain his reasoning. “I was just trying to make him feel like it wasn’t a big deal, the peeing thing. I got by, because he was more interested in my scars. He’s a sensitive little thing, isn’t he?” He shook his head, remembering how the tears flowed so easily for the little one.

  “He really is. He has such compassion for others, after all he’s gone through,” Dillon said.

  “I told him he didn’t have to cry about them again because he already did. He’s such a special kid. He gets to me.”

  “Join the club. He’s got me so firmly tied around his little finger that it’s a wonder he can get around. Just don’t tell him.” Dillon smiled up at Soldier as he admitted how much he cared for the special little boy.

  “I gotta feelin’ he already knows.”

  “Probably. See you in a few.”

  Soldier went on down and found that Gom was getting things out for him to cook the pancakes. He had it mostly right. Smart kid. He looked up and beamed when Soldier came in. He came right over and hugged Soldier's leg, looking up to say, “Thank you, Soldier.”

  “What for, Gom?”

  “You know... our secret.”

  “Why, Gom, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just cooking breakfast for the guys, right?” Soldier smiled down and ruffled the boy’s hair.

  “I get it. That’s right. I’ll be your second command, too. Okay?” Gom's eyes were bright as he offered. “Uh... I mean, Dillon said I could be his, but if you don’t want me to be one... I mean, you know, your special helper... I’ll...” Gom wound down and waited for Soldier to tell him he wasn’t needed or wanted.

  Soldier figured the boy had been told that quite enough. “I was gonna ask you if you’d help me, kind of like you did last night. You introduced me to the others and I will need your help getting them to accept me.”

  “Me?” That disbelief in Gom’s tone was becoming familiar to Soldier.

  “I really want to be part of this group and you’ll be the key to helping me. I need you. You’re very important.” Soldier made sure to look right into Gom’s eyes as he said that, so Gom would know he was serious. Wouldn’t it be great if this little boy came to believe how special he was?

  “I am? I mean, I am, aren’t I? I’ll help you, Soldier. You can count on me.”

  “Thanks, Gom.” Soldier thought he really had to do something about this tears thing. He couldn’t keep tearing up every time Gom said or did somet
hing that touched him. It just wasn’t manly.

  They set about making lots of pancakes. Dillon came in and made coffee after finding out that Soldier liked it. He told Soldier he didn’t have a coffeemaker, but he managed to get a couple of passable cups. Dillon found the bacon in the fridge and made some to go with the pancakes.

  “The boys won’t know what to think, meat and pancakes. I know the juice won’t last past breakfast. What a treat for them. I still can’t believe that the cupboards are full,” Dillon said, shaking his head, apparently as awed as the kids were about the abundance of food.

  Soon, they heard the boys coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dillon said, “I bet it was the smell of bacon that did it.”