“Keep Larry with you. Stay out of sight. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Okay.”
“I’m gonna call Jack. He can get there quicker than I can. Don’t open the door until one of us gets there.”
Larry stayed at her side for what seemed like an hour, though she was sure it had only been minutes. A rustling sound came from the hallway. A gust of wind blasted through the window. The door slammed against the wall. A dark image scurried low to the floor, and Larry took off toward the kitchen in pursuit.
Dani shot out of the bedroom. “Larry!” She’d just reached the kitchen when the screen door squeaked open, a dark figure on the other side. The air backed up in Dani’s lungs and her feet failed to move. As if in a choreographed motion, Jack hurled himself through the door to the porch. Something hairy brushed against Dani’s leg and she screamed. The kitchen lights came on as Matt bustled through the door. Larry raced past Matt and took off into the dark, chasing the nighttime demon.
Dani launched herself into Matt’s arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and hung on tight.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It was a raccoon. He ran out when Jack opened the door.”
“I don’t want Larry hurt.”
Matt stroked her hair and whispered calming words in her ear.
Jack stepped in the kitchen and set his flashlight on the counter. “The coon must have come in sometime during the renovations.” He cast a glance in Dani’s direction, gave her a quick once-over, and looked away. She remembered what she wore—or lack thereof. Jack’s cheeks reddened in a silent apology. “You okay?”
Dani shook her head, her body still clinging to Matt’s.
Jack gave them a knowing look. “I’ll fetch the dog and let him into the porch.”
Matt walked them to one of the kitchen chairs. He sat with Dani still snuggled against him. “Sure you’re all right?”
“Yeah.” She worked on getting her breathing under control. “I’m such a girl.”
They sat facing each other, her legs straddling his wide hips. He smelled like cool night air. She broke the embrace, leaning back to see him. She caught his gaze as it traveled to her chest. She wore a light pink camisole with thin straps. Low cut and snug, it hugged her curves.
“You’re such a woman. One hell of a woman.”
Her gaze followed his as he made his way down to her belly. A few inches of exposed skin peeked out where her tank top and panties didn’t meet. Matt skirted a finger across her belly, and she sucked in a breath at his heated touch.
“I didn’t come here for this.” His passion-filled voice was low.
“I know. But since you’re here…”
Dani led Matt up the stairs, into one of the bedrooms that had been completely remodeled. A queen-size bed had been delivered earlier in the day. An outside security light shone through the window, casting the room in a soft glow. Dani switched on the ceiling fan, its near-silent whirr stirring the curtains.
Their last time together had been playful. Dani searched Matt’s eyes. They radiated happiness and desire. But also an expression she’d never seen—hope.
Without breaking eye contact, she peeled off the few clothes she wore. Matt shucked his T-shirt then made quick work of his shoes and shorts. They stood a few feet apart. The pulse beat heavy in Dani’s neck, her breathing labored.
She took Matt’s hand, led him to the bed. She lay on the cool, soft sheets she’d placed earlier. “I want you.”
He smiled and moved to her side. They lay facing each other, hands stroking. His fingers drifted through her hair, up and down her back. “I want you, too,” he whispered. His lips trailed light kisses across her forehead to her temple. Lower to nuzzle her neck. He nipped at her shoulder.
He focused on her face, his eyes full of love. “For the rest of my life, I’ll always remember you looking like this.” Matt’s voice was raw and laced with adoration. He gazed into Dani’s face, his expression focused. “I love you, Dani.” He moved over her. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her mouth. “I’m totally in love with you.”
His words filled her heart. She was wanted. Needed. Loved. Yet her mind screamed out that he couldn’t love her, he shouldn’t love her. He didn’t even know her. He would, though. Later.
He pressed his lips to hers. Their tongues glided, slow and deep, and she was lost.
Chapter Thirteen
Much later with arms and legs tangled around each other, neither Matt nor Dani seemed eager to draw away from each other. Her mind raced with possibilities. Maybe she could wait until the end of the summer to tell Matt who she was. Then again, there wasn’t one person in the world who could reveal her identity. She could spends months—years—here keeping her secret, enjoying a full life with Matt and Sam.
As a fraud.
Dread quickly replaced her happiness. It was time for the truth. Way past time. She knew the lustful gleam in Matt’s eyes might soon turn into hatred.
If she told Matt the truth, maybe she could make him understand she’d only wanted to ensure her son’s happiness. She hadn’t come to Lake Bliss to cause any pain. But in her heart, she knew that’s what she was about to do. She was about to crush Matt. The man she loved. And in a moment, when she admitted her relationship to Sam, he would withdraw out of her life.
Matt placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “Be right back.” He rose from the bed and headed toward the bathroom.
She stared at the ceiling. Tears streaked from the corners of her eyes and trailed over her temples into her hairline.
No. The time had come and there would be no more stalling, no more excuses. The fantasy had ended.
Snagging her clothes off the floor, she then threw them on and bolted down the stairs. Her stomach churned with a greasy knot of dread. Her heart battered her chest as she sucked in harsh gulps of air. She made her way to the kitchen sink and dry heaved into the basin. Leaning against the counter, she turned on the faucet, then splashed a shock of cold water onto her face.
“I guess you weren’t ready for my admission,” he said.
She hadn’t heard him come down the stairs. Wiping her face and hands with paper towels, she then turned toward him. Like the coward she was, she focused on the floor while he stood in the middle of the kitchen.
His sigh was audible. “If you don’t feel the same or can’t say it yet, it’s okay. It doesn’t change my love for you.”
With her head and her heart in battle, she found the strength to slide her gaze upward, noticing that he too had dressed. When their eyes met, her heart burst at the look of love, the look of hope. The look of a vulnerable lover who said he didn’t need to hear those three important words reciprocated, but who longed for them.
“I…” She crossed her arms over her midriff, willing the ache to subside. She cleared her throat. “I do love you, Matt. But I have something to tell you that will probably change how you feel about me.” A sharp pain spread across her chest at the thought of how badly she would hurt him. She silently cursed herself for concealing her identity for so long. What had she been thinking? How could she have been so selfish?
“I care about you, Dani. Deeply. You’ve told me about your past. I can’t imagine anything that could make me change my feelings.” The color drained from his face. “For God’s sake, please don’t tell me you’re involved with someone else? You’re not engaged, are you?” He rubbed at his chest where his heart lay. “Please don’t tell me you’re married.”
Dani shook her head wildly. “No. Nothing like that.” She squeezed her eyes shut. A rocking motion set in, her body swaying back and forth. A sob escaped and she drew the back of her hand against her mouth.
“You’re scaring me here. Whatever it is…”
She opened her eyes. She needed to look Matt in the eye when she told him who she was. This would be part of her penance. She would have to witness his pain and know her deception was the cause. “I’m Sam’s mother.”
Matt drew his eyebrows together. He opened his
mouth to speak. Before any words emerged, she continued. “His birth mother. I’m Sam’s birth mother. I gave him up for adoption a few hours after he was born.”
Matt stumbled back a few steps like he’d been shot. “No.” He shook his head, couldn’t seem to stop. His head tilted to one side. His eyes narrowed. “How could that be? How could you have kept that from me—from Sam—all this time?”
“I thought about telling you—”
Matt planted his hands on his hips, took a few steps forward. “When, between orgasms?” His voice had dropped to a notch above rage.
She’d known he would look at her with hate and disgust. “I’m sorry. I know what a surprise this must be.”
“Surprise? A surprise is coming home to find friends and relatives jumping out of the dark to wish you a happy birthday.” He advanced another step, his voice wavering as if he struggled for control. “A surprise is scratching off a lottery ticket to find out you’ve won fifty bucks.” Two more steps and he stood inches away, towering over her. “To find out you’ve been lying to me and my son is not a surprise.” His voice deepened to deadly calm. “It’s manipulative. It’s deceitful. It’s inexcusable.”
She wiped at her eyes with a paper towel. “It wasn’t all a lie.”
“Really? And which parts were the truth? You misrepresented yourself.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you or Sam. I just wanted—”
“I don’t care what you wanted.” A vein poked out from Matt’s neck. He jabbed his index finger forward, stopping an inch before it met her chest. “How dare you come here to stalk my son!”
“No.” She shook her head. “I wouldn’t hurt him. I just wanted to know he was happy.”
“His happiness isn’t any of your business. You gave up all your rights to know anything about him.”
He retreated, lasering her with pure anger in his eyes. She knew he’d eventually look at her like this. Knew that the look of lust, of love, would be replaced with hate. Yet even knowing, expecting, it would come, she hadn’t anticipated the devastation she’d feel. The sense of loss was so powerful it threatened to drop her to her knees. “I’m sorry, Matt. I should have told you.”
“You need to leave. Leave Lake Bliss. You pack up your stuff and get the hell out of my town. I don’t want you near Sam. You don’t talk to him. You don’t even look in his direction. Got it?”
Dani choked back her tears and managed a meek nod.
He backed toward the door, stopped a second, then stalked forward. “Don’t you dare try to pull the birth-mother card, either. I have sole custody of Sam.” He jabbed his thumb into his chest. “He’s mine. And only mine. You try to take him away from me and I’ll fight you with everything I’ve got. Understood?”
“I don’t want to take him away. He loves you.” She’d known that the moment she’d seen them together. She could have left that day if she’d wanted, her purpose for coming met in that moment. “I’d never do anything to hurt him.” Hadn’t she learned that sometimes the right thing to do was the hardest? Hadn’t she made the ultimate sacrifice and given away her precious baby boy so he could have a wonderful life?
Matt made a sound of disbelief. “You’re a liar.” The bitterness of his tone sliced into her soul. “And now your leaving will upset him.” His voice rose to a bellow. “And somehow you think you haven’t done anything to hurt him?” He shook his head, swore under his breath. “You’re unbelievable.”
He turned and headed for the door. He smashed the palm of his hand against the wooden porch door. He hit it with such force that it smacked against the side of the cabin.
Then silence. He was gone. He’d walked out of her life and taken Sam. She’d never see her son’s sweet face again. Never laugh with him. Never hear his version of a story or a joke. And the man she loved would spend the rest of his life hating her. Dani felt the counter at her back. Her upper body shook. She clasped her hands to her chest, the pain so intense she imagined this was what a heart-attack patient experienced.
The trembling intensified, moved through her body until her knees buckled. Her back slid along the cupboard until her butt hit the floor. She slumped over, resting her face against the worn, rough braided rug in front of the sink. She hugged her arms around the scratchy material, the smell of dirt and dust reminding her that this was all real. Her tears fell, absorbed into the rug.
Matt was gone from her life. Forever. She’d never see him again. His angry words, his anguished expression, filled her brain until she was sure she’d never clear her mind of the pain.
…
Matt scrambled out of Dani’s cottage. Near paralyzed with shock, he pitched himself toward his car. Hands on the hood, he hung his head, his raging heartbeat slamming against his chest.
The night air was thick and humid. Suffocating. With a shaking hand, he stretched the neckline of his shirt. More air. He drew deep breaths into his lungs. He couldn’t get enough air.
Dani was Sam’s mother? He’d trusted her with his son. Invited her into their home. Put faith in her that she was the best person to help them care for Sam. And all along she’d been planning to…what? Steal Sam? Matt’s stomach rolled. How many times had he left Sam alone with her? On any given occasion, she could have put him in her car and taken off. Or was she here to fight for custody?
He managed to get inside his car. His hands shook as he pushed the key into the ignition. How could he have fallen in love with another lying, manipulating woman?
…
The last thing Dani had wanted to do was face Matt and reveal her identity. But she didn’t want to leave town with him thinking she was a threat to Sam. She had to hold onto the hope that someday Sam might want to know his birth mother.
Walking across the lawn toward Rachel’s house, Dani rehearsed what she would say if her plan worked to meet with Matt. If she were lucky, he’d stick around long enough to hear her out.
She took a calming breath and knocked on Rachel’s door. The layout of the cabin was identical to Dani’s—back screened-in porch leading to the kitchen.
Rachel pushed open the door and wrapped Dani in a hug. “I wish I could say you look better than you did last night. Need a drink?”
“Yeah, except it’s not even noon,” Dani said. She eyed her wonderful friend who’d stayed until the early morning hours listening without judgment to Dani’s story.
Rachel gave a warm smile. “I was talking about tea or coffee. I’ve got wine, too.”
“Thanks, I’ll pass. Afraid I might barf before I get to say what I want.” She squeezed Rachel’s hand. “Thank you for helping me, both last night and today. You’ve been a good friend.”
Rachel’s eyes were full of warmth and understanding. “After you told me what happened to you, I want to help in any way I can. As a mother, I trust my instincts. And they tell me how much you love Sam. I know in my heart you would never deliberately hurt him. And I know Matt loves you. I can see it in his eyes.”
“That was before he found out I was Sam’s mother. Rach, you should have seen him when I told him the truth. He hates me.” Dani swiped at her never-ending tears.
“Talk to him. It’s all you can do.”
Dani nodded. “So Matt and Jack took the boys fishing?”
Rachel peered out the porch window. “Yeah, but it looks like they’re heading in. I’ll go down to the dock and keep Jack and the boys away from the cottage for a while so you can talk with Matt.”
Dani felt her throat close. Would Matt see her and take off? Or would he give her a chance to talk?
She stood in the corner of the porch, hands wringing, heart pummeling her chest.
Matt jerked open the porch door and froze. “What the hell are you doing here?” He looked a few stages beyond annoyed.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She swallowed hard and stared directly into his eyes. “Please?”
His face held a blank expression, probably one he’d perfected by years in law enforcement. He shoved his hands
in his pockets. “You’ve got five minutes.” The screen door bumped closed behind him.
“I’ve made mistakes. I shouldn’t have lied. I’m sorry for that. I’m sure you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. I don’t regret coming here, though. Meeting my son was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“How did you find him?” Matt straightened his spine. He stood like a soldier waiting to go into battle.
“My mother was a superior court judge. An attorney friend of hers arranged for the adoption. After her death, I found the papers and discovered that you and Gina had adopted Sam. I Googled your name and it brought me here.”
She held up her hands in surrender. “You always want the truth, I know, but I thought I could spare you while still easing my mind. I especially didn’t want to tell you the details of Sam’s conception. I was afraid you’d look at him differently. Maybe not love him anymore.”
Matt pulled the ball cap off his head and pointed it in her direction. “I don’t care how he was conceived or who gave birth to him. He’s my son. The most important person in my life.”
“It wasn’t until I spent time with the two of you that I realized the bond you have. I know your love for Sam is unconditional.”
His expression was one of disbelief. “Dear God. Your attack. That’s…”
She bit her lip and nodded.
In the short time she’d known Matt, she’d witnessed his expressive blue eyes full of amusement, compassion, and love. Now, for what seemed like the thousandth time in her life, she saw the one emotion she’d hoped to never again see in anyone’s eyes, especially the man she loved.
Pity.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’ve had so much pity—both self-inflicted and otherwise—I could choke on it. I don’t need you or anybody else to feel sorry for me.”
She moved to the far side of the porch and looked at the water. “I spent months—years—in therapy. Know what I learned? Life happens. Plenty of people get thrown into crappy situations. You have to make a choice. Deal with it or let it consume you. So I learned to deal.”
Just for the Summer Page 13