by Unknown
Gabe doesn’t respond, but Brian does.
Brian: Are we still on for Christmas?
Me: Definitely. Dad and Veronica aren’t even home. I have no idea where they are or when they will be back. Toby is staying in Hawaii, so I’m all alone for the holidays.
Brian: Well, you won’t be alone now. :)
I read his text just as I’m drifting off to sleep, and for the first time in over a month, I don’t have nightmares.
Friday, December 24
5pm
Isolated.
The next day I don’t wake up until one in the afternoon. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was, but now I feel refreshed.
As soon as I wake up, I find Reynaldo to see if my dad or Veronica is home. They’re not. Neither of them came home last night, and I’m hoping it’s a good thing that they didn’t. But something makes me feel very uneasy about the whole thing. No matter how hard I try to stay positive about it all, negative thoughts come creeping in.
It’s Christmas Eve, but it doesn’t feel very Christmas-y. It’s in the sixties outside, hardly even cool enough to wear a hoodie. Not that it matters, I realize. I’m halfway to my car before I realize that I have nowhere to go. But it doesn’t matter. I just need to go somewhere. Being inside my house is very lonely right now.
I’ve drove away everybody that I care about — Dad, Toby, Gabe, Veronica… Now it’s just me. I think about calling Ariana, but she’s visiting her sister in New York. Victoria, of course, is in Hawaii with Toby. Courtney is still at the institution.
As I start my car, I get a text message. It’s from Brian.
Brian: I’m bored. Want to hang out?
For a moment, I want to say no. I deserve to be alone. I’m the one who did this to myself. I let my stalker bully me. I let them put a wedge between me and everybody that I care about. But I want to hang out with Brian, because for some reason talking to him makes me feel better. It always does.
Me: Yes.
Brian: Meet at your place?
Me: No. I need to get away from my house. It’s really lonely here right now. I can come to your place.
Brian texts me his address, and I put it in my GPS.
On my way there, I try to tell myself that it’s not my fault. My stalker is the one who stole my life. But I can’t shake the thought that I somehow brought this on myself. That is stupid, but I can’t stop the thoughts from coming.
I feel like I should know who my stalker is, but all the clues point to nobody.
But it doesn’t matter anymore, right? They promised to leave me alone. I have no reason not to believe them. Everything they’ve said so far has been true. But what they said yesterday — goodbye for now. Does that mean this nightmare isn’t over for good?
It doesn’t matter. The stalker got everything they wanted. Me. Isolated. I now have nobody. Even my own stepbrother hates me.
I decide I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself anymore, though. I’m alive, which is more than I thought I’d be. I didn’t think I would make it back from Hawaii alive, but I did. I’m here. And now I’m moving forward. I just have to work on mending my relationship with everybody. I can do this.
6pm
Brian’s apartment.
Brian lives in an apartment complex. It’s not exactly run down, but it’s not exactly nice either. Though, I suspect that my idea of nice has changed tremendously over the past few months of living here. Sometimes I forget what it’s like to just be normal.
When I get to Brian’s door, I knock and within a few seconds he opens it.
I always forget how beautiful he is. Every time I see him, I swear my heart completely stops for a few seconds before it jumps into overdrive.
Brian doesn’t look like a guy in high school — well, because he’s not in high school. But I’m used to being around high school guys. Most of the guys in my school haven’t quite grown into their height, and they’re very thin… And most girls, well, they wish they had that problem.
Brian has dark brown hair. I can tell he’s recently gotten it cut, but it’s a little shaggy. I like his hair like that. It suits him. When I first met him, I noticed his tan. I thought it was from cleaning pools, but I can see now that his skin is naturally dark. Maybe he is part Native American.
“Hey,” he says, smiling.
This is the first time I’ve ever noticed the dimple in his left cheek. Probably because I’ve never stood this close to him before.
“Hey,” I say back.
He invites me inside and then gives me the tour. There is only one-bedroom, which he doesn’t show me. There is one small bathroom, a small kitchen that is attached to an even smaller dining area, and a tiny living room. In the living room there is only room for one couch and a small TV in the corner.
“It’s not much,” he says.
For a moment, he looks embarrassed. I know it’s probably because he’s remembering where I live.
“I like it,” I tell him quickly. “This is exactly the kind of place I always pictured living in when I’m in college. Except maybe I’d have a few roommates to help pay rent. Of course, with my luck I would have awful roommates who hate me.”
He smiles when I say that. “So how are things with you?”
“They’re okay, I guess. I’m home alone, besides Reynaldo, and to be honest he kind of gives me the creeps.”
“Me too,” he agrees. “I think it’s the glass eye. No matter where you’re standing it looks like he’s always staring at you.”
“Right!” I laugh. “Being there right now just kind of sucks.”
“When will your family be home?” he asks.
“I have no idea,” I answer honestly. “Toby probably won’t be home until right before school starts back. I wish I knew about Veronica and Dad. I’m honestly not sure if Veronica is coming back.”
The thought of her not coming home makes my chest hurt. If she doesn’t come home, that means Toby won’t be either. It would just be Dad and me… Mostly me, because Dad always works.
“It’ll all work out,” he says.
“We should do something fun,” I tell him. I’m suddenly wanting to talk about anything besides my family. I want to forget all the bad crap that’s going on.
“Let’s go bowling.”
“Bowling?” I repeat it as a question, though I’m not sure why. My mom loved bowling; she was even in a bowling league. They didn’t do any competitions. They just met once a week for fun. But I haven’t gone bowling since I moved here. Most of my friends don’t exactly find bowling exciting. Their idea of a good time is having a party, but it’s the same every time. They’re so exclusive. It might be nice having a friend who isn’t into all the ritzy crap.
“Do you know how to?” he asks.
I nod, smiling. “Bowling sounds fun.”
Surprisingly, bowling sounds like a lot of fun. Like more fun than I’ve had in a long time.
7pm
Bowling.
I’m regretting wearing a short skirt — even though I look really cute tonight. I’m wearing a bright orange hoodie, and a mini jean skirt. I guess I sort of wanted to look like a normal teenager — like how I looked before I came here.
Even my hair looks awesome tonight. I let it dry naturally — mostly out of laziness, and it happened to turn out wavy and pretty. It kind of reminds me of my mom’s hair, which I think is why I like it so much.
But as I go up to bowl, I’m kind of worried about bending over. I mean, if I were with Gabe or Ty they would think it was hot. But Brian isn’t a high school guy. He’s way more mature than them, and I don’t want him to think I’m some annoying high school kid. I want him to think of me as an adult.
I take a deep breath, and decide to just say screw it.
I roll the ball and hold my breath as I watch it go. It’s going straight down the middle and hits the pins hard enough to knock them all down.
STRIKE!
Not bad, I think. Especially since I haven’t done this in five months.
“You’ve done this before,” Brian says, as I walk toward him.
“A few times.” Basically once a week for seven years. No big deal.
“My sister just texted me. Her and her boyfriend are going to come play. Is that cool?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Which sister?”
“Olivia,” he tells me. “She’s seventeen. Actually, she goes to your school. She’s really smart, and she is there on a scholarship.”
Why does the name Olivia sound so familiar? “Maybe I will know her.”
“Possibly,” he says.
Brian gets up to bowl, and I try to think where I know Olivia from. I’m sure that I don’t know her… but maybe I’ve heard of her. The more I think about it, the more frustrated I feel. I decide to just forget about it for now. Maybe when I see her, I will recognize her face.
Brian takes his turn. He knocks down a few pins the first time, and then get’s a gutter ball the second time.
“Not everybody is a professional,” he says jokingly.
I’m glad he’s not a sore loser. I still remember the first time I played pool with Gabe… Well, actually it was the first and last time. I beat him badly and he threw a huge fit. At the time I just wrote it off as him being used to getting his way. Now that I think about it, I can’t help but be annoyed.
“I have a confession,” I tell him. “My mom was in a league. She bowled every Tuesday night with her league, and every Friday night her and I would go for fun. It was our thing. We’d eat pizza, bowl, and talk about our week. Even when I was old enough to go out I blew off parties to hang out with her. It was the highlight of my week. So that’s why I’m good.”
“That’s really awesome that you did that. When I was younger I blew off family night often,” he says. “But now, I won’t miss it.”
“I wish my family had family nights. We do Sunday brunch.” I roll my eyes. “And even our brunch is spent with Jack, Libby, and Gabe. We never do anything together.”
“You and Toby seem pretty tight.”
“We are. Sort of. He’s mad at me right now.”
“He’ll get over it.”
Just then a girl walks up to us, and I’m assuming it’s his sister. The girl looks familiar, but I don’t know her personally.
There are three different groups at our school. One — the scholarship kids. There aren’t a lot, maybe ten in the senior class, but they stick together. Probably out of necessity. The second group is the rich kids. And the third group, my group, is the elite. Basically we’re the kids who have influential parents. Like my dad, who is the billionaire creator of the world’s largest social networking site. Or Ty, his dad was the reason the 49ers won three Super Bowls. Now he’s a senator.
Olivia falls into the first category. She and I have never talked, or even acknowledged each other’s presence for that matter. And right now, I’m kind of wishing I would have, because I have a feeling this meeting is going to be awkward.
“Kihanna, this is Olivia,” he tells me, and then goes to add her and her boyfriend’s names to the game board.
“I know you,” Olivia says. “You’re the new girl that Ty and Gabe have decided to mess with.”
I feel my face grow warm, and for the first time I am speechless.
“I’m sorry, that came out wrong,” she says. “I just mean they’re douchebags. You shouldn’t feel bad for falling for their lies. You’re not the first girl they’ve messed with and you won’t be the last. You’re just lucky you got out early.”
Finally her name clicks.
Olivia. As in Lily’s friend.
“Oh my God. You’re…”
She nods. “Lily’s friend.”
“I’ve heard about you. From Ty and Gabe.”
“I’m sure they have wonderful things to say about me.” The sarcasm is heavy in her voice. She turns to the guy standing beside her. “This is my boyfriend, Keith.”
“Hey,” he says.
“Do you go to my school too?” I ask him.
“He’s in college,” Olivia answers for him. “I’m glad to see you’ve finally dumped Ty and Gabe. I’m glad to see that you are smarter than Lily was.”
I want to tell her that Ty and Gabe haven’t screwed with me, but I’ve always wondered if they were just messing with me. Why else would somebody like Gabe be interested in me? Maybe he only ever liked me because Ty had me.
But if that were the case, why wouldn’t Gabe have just dumped me after he had sex with me?
Well, I guess he technically did. But then we got back together.
After Ty showed interest in me again.
For a minute, I feel like a complete idiot. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I was just a game.
No. The love that I felt for Gabe had to be real. It is real. And how he feels for me is real… But if it is, then why hasn’t he called me? He hasn’t even tried to get me back. He hasn’t tried to fight for me.
Okay, so maybe I was cruel to him, but he should have known.
I look at Brian who is walking back toward us, and I smile.
Who cares about Ty?
Who cares about Gabe?
Tonight, I am hanging out with Brian, and it feels great.
“Your turn, little sister,” he tells Olivia.
She smiles at him. “You’re going down. By the way, I like Kihanna. She’s a keeper.”
Brian’s face turns a light shade of red as his sister and her boyfriend walk up to take their turns.
11pm
Perfect.
It turns out that Brian is a lot of fun. And I happen to like his sister. She’s cool.
We bowl three games before we call it quits. I won them all, but on the third game Brian was only a few points behind me.
Now, we are sitting on Brian’s couch, and I’m thinking that I don’t want the night to end. Ever.
“That was seriously the most fun I’ve had in a long time. We definitely have to do that again,” I tell him without thinking. I instantly stop talking, because I basically just assumed that Brian wants to hang out with me again. What if he thinks I’m a loser?
“We definitely should,” he agrees. “I’m glad you and Olivia got along. She’s the toughest one in my family. If she approves of you, everybody else will too.”
“So you want them to approve of me?” I ask, feeling brave. The second the words leave my mouth, I want them back. Since when did I get so flirty? Especially considering I just broke up with my boyfriend.
I’m seeing a trend here.
I broke up with Ty and less than twelve hours later, I slept with his best friend.
Now, it’s barely been a day and I’m already hanging out with another guy. Not that I plan on having sex with Brian. I’m done with that for a while. Obviously having sex with Gabe early on wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.
“I do want them to approve of you,” he says, smiling.
I can’t help but think that I love the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles.
“Why?” I ask, biting my lip.
I want to hear Brian tell me what he wants from me. I want to know if this is just a friendship or if he wants more. The thought of him wanting more makes my stomach feel all tight, and then I feel guilty for thinking that way. I just broke up with Gabe. And the break up was supposed to be temporary. Now, here I am with another guy. Feeling things that I never felt with Gabe.
Maybe I was never in love with Gabe. It could have just been a crush that I thought was love. I mean, really, who ends up with their high school crush? But the truth is, I really thought I would. And now that I know I’m probably not going to end up with him, I should feel heartbroken. Instead I feel relief… Though it’s probably just relief because my stalker isn’t going to bother me anymore. I can finally move on with my life and not be paranoid that somebody is going to kill me while I’m sleeping.
Part of me says it’s more than that. I ignore that part.
“Why do I want
my family to approve of you?” he asks.
I nod.
“Because I like you,” he says. “I mean, who wouldn’t? You’re kind of beautiful.”
“You think I’m beautiful?” My voice comes out all gushy, and I hate myself for it. Why can’t I be cool? The second a hot guy calls me beautiful, I melt into a puddle.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you that since the very first time I saw you,” he says.
I think back to that day. I was so nervous when I saw Brian, because he was the sexiest guy I had ever seen in my life. He had the ability to make me tongue-tied just by being close to him. He still does. I stammered like an idiot, and probably said a bunch of embarrassing things.
“You made me nervous,” I tell him. “You kind of still do, actually.”
“I like that I make you nervous,” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because so far, you’re perfect,” he answers. “It’s nice to know that you’re actually human.”
His words make me smile. “Oh, I’m not human,” I joke. “I’m an android. Everything is totally fake.”
“I knew it!” he says.
We both laugh.
“So do you think it’s weird that my little sister crashed on our first date, and on our second date I’m taking you to meet my entire family?” he asks.
“Maybe, but I like weird. Plus, I’m pretty sure I’m hijacking your family,” I tell him. “Since my family is falling apart, I’m just going to steal yours. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
“Will your family think I’m weird?” I ask him. I’m a little nervous. With Gabe, I knew his family before we dated. And with Ty, well, his dad didn’t really care about him. I had no reason to be nervous with either of them. But this whole meet my family thing is a little nerve-racking.