Crossings: A Sovereign Guardians Novel

by Susan Collins

  My heart was beating way too fast. I didn't think Granger's joke was funny at all, and I sincerely hoped he was only joking. Part of me believed he was just trying to scare me so I'd stop asking so many questions. He had to understand, though, why there was so much I wanted to know.

  "Can you at least tell me something about what it's like for you there? Keller told me last night that you have a brother and sister. Do you all live together like a family?"

  Granger leaned forward and braced his arms against the kitchen table. His face relaxed before he began speaking. I wondered if he realized he was smiling at simply the mention of his family.

  "Having a brother and a sister can sometimes feel like a pain because, well, no matter where you live - relationships between brothers and sisters, even triplets, are the same everywhere, I'm guessing. There's no doubt, though, that Bradley and Colleen are an important part of my life. I can't imagine not having them."

  He frowned, seeming to search for the right words. "Look, Pagan, more than anyone you can probably understand what it's like for Keller. I know it's hard on him sometimes because he doesn't have any family. I tell him all the time he's the adopted brother, but I know he wishes things had been different for him."

  I nodded, trying to understand their world, growing up with no parents or grandparents. My home life had not been traditional, but I had always had Gran, at least.

  Beyond knowing about Granger's family, I was especially curious about what it all looked like where they lived, and I was surprised when Granger volunteered to explain it to me.

  "The place we call Crossings is as far logistically as any guardian has ever been allowed to go. Like you, I don't really know what lies on the other side. I have seen the faces of people, like your mother, as they go across, and even as they sometimes grieve for those they've left behind - their faces are filled with excitement when they look ahead. The light in their eyes, well, it's hard to describe. It becomes almost brilliant, really, like stars in the night sky. Whatever it is they see must be amazing. Then again, where we live, the view isn't too bad either."

  I recalled Keller commenting on my poster for the dance and saying it was accurate. I understood now a little more of what he meant when he'd used that word. Then, I hadn't known that Keller had seen the view from the heavens. Unlike me, it wasn't something he had to simply imagine.

  Granger's next comment pulled my thoughts back to the present. "The best thing I can equate to our life there is like it would be to visit a small university campus or maybe an exclusive summer camp. Regardless of how you visualize it, understand it's not just some place we visit. It's our home. We are all close to each other because we're all we've known."

  Appearing done with the subject, Granger stood up and pushed his chair under the table and motioned for me to stand up, too. He came around to my side of the table and then he took my now empty cup and grabbed his own mug and carried them both over to the sink. I followed him, and he gave me a dry towel to help with the dishes. Then he handed me each cup and spoon to dry after he washed and rinsed them clean.

  Finishing up quickly, I turned to Granger and asked another question I’d been curious about. "Could you see me from where you were?"

  Granger shook his head. "Not the way you mean. It's not like looking at the world with a pair of binoculars and spotting someone. It's more a feeling we get. Some people call it an aura. Every soul has one. From our view, yours was dark and restless. It would have been obvious to any sovereign guardian who looked that you were in trouble. Our job isn’t to look; that’s the job of others in the heavens. We were asked if we would take the assignment to check on you, which is in our line of, uhm, work, if you will. Obviously someone a little higher up than we are was looking. Without the assignment, no matter what we were aware of, we wouldn't have been allowed to leave. Coming and going at will is not something we're able to do unless we're on assignment, like now."

  I knew Granger was trying to help me understand that once Keller went back permanently, I would never see him again because he wouldn’t be able to visit whenever he wanted, but I couldn't think about that right now.

  "You said once that Keller volunteered for this, but you didn't. You were talking about coming to Fairvue and protecting me, weren't you?"

  "Yes."

  "So, why did you come?"

  Granger shook his head in disbelief. "Are you kidding? Me miss a chance to eat lots of this delicious food you people have down here? I heard it was going to be a long-term assignment with lots of chances to eat. And once I knew Keller was going, there was no way I'd let him have all the fun."

  I rolled my eyes at his answer. He knew he wasn't fooling either of us with his glib remarks. Keller might have volunteered first, but there was no way Granger would have let his best friend go somewhere that he might be in danger without going with him, even if he didn't want to admit it out loud.

  "Look, Pagan. I know you're worried, but you shouldn't worry too much. Your guy won't let anything slip by him. You don't know this, but where we come from, everyone says he has Keller instincts."

  I groaned out loud. "Really, Granger? Since when did you become the funny one?"

  "Since I was the one who didn't get the girl."

  My heart lurched at his words, and I didn't know what to say. Granger's eyes roamed my face before he gave a half smile.

  "Enough with the questions for today, okay?" he pleaded.

  I nodded in agreement.

  "Why don't we talk about coming up with a plan until all of this is over?"

  The sound of the backdoor opening and closing had me turning around, and I saw Keller walking into the kitchen. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a tight fitting black T- shirt that stretched across his muscles. His arms were loaded with bags full of groceries which he promptly dropped on the counter beside me. His gaze was focused only on me as he walked over and wrapped me in his now empty arms before placing a kiss at the corner of my mouth.

  "Good morning, angel."

  Seeing him in my house, looking at me like he never wanted to be without me again did crazy things to my equilibrium. I didn't know how I was supposed to focus on making a plan when even the smallest touch of his lips against my skin had me thinking about nothing else except wanting to be alone with him.

  It wasn’t hard to tell what Keller was thinking, either. He was obviously having the same problem I was. His hand reached out and grabbed mine. I loved the way my fingers entwined perfectly with his. I loved having his full attention.

  A loud snort came from behind us.

  "Really?" Granger said, looking at us both. "If you are going to act like two love struck teenagers all morning long, then I'm going to leave and come back when you have this hormone thing you've got going on under control. I can only handle so much. And, might I remind you both, it's not even eight o'clock in the morning yet.”

  Keller turned me around until my back was against his chest, and he had one arm curved around my waist. His chin rested against the top of my head as we both took in Granger's annoyed expression.

  "Good morning again to you, too, Granger. I trust you slept well?" Keller inquired a little too politely.

  "No thanks to you," Granger huffed. "You are shorter than me, so the couch would have fit you better. Too bad you have such problems with self-control."

  "To prove how wrong you are," Keller replied, "I plan to spend the entire day with Pagan. You, my friend, are free to do whatever it is you want today. I'm sure that will include a visit to some fast food restaurant and maybe even a nap. Don't forget we do still have some legitimate work to do for Mr. Mac. Unfortunately animals cannot be shielded, and the horses on the front acres still need to be checked on this afternoon since neither of us can convince them they don't really need fresh food or water.”

  "No problem," Granger said. "I'll take care of the work today and let you have babysitting duty."

  Before I could argue back that I was not a child, Keller spoke up. "Tha
t sounds great, especially since I really thought you'd volunteer to work for me, and I already made plans for the day that didn't involve you."

  "Of course you did," Granger said. "I don't suppose you have food for me in those sacks you brought in since you're such a know-it-all."

  Keller moved so he could reach into one of the containers closest to him. He pulled out a bag of chocolate covered nuts and threw them at Granger, who easily caught it with one hand.

  "Yum. My favorite. You shouldn't have," Granger said as he looked at the label.

  "It's crazy, really. I was walking down the grocery aisle, saw some nuts, and thought of you," Keller said. "But then, you know, buddy, I'm always thinking of you."

  Granger's eyes moved to me and then back to Keller. "Of course you are, mate. I don't know how you have time to think about anything else."

  He tore open the bag of candy and popped several pieces into his mouth. He gave Keller a quick pat on the shoulder and mumbled a quick goodbye to us both before leaving out the back door.

  The silence that followed Granger's departure only lasted for a second.

  "Alone at last," Keller sighed as he turned back towards me.

  The temperature in the room heated up at least one hundred degrees for me. I loved being this near to him, his arms encircling me, but I knew I couldn't stay this close to him and still focus on everything I needed to say.

  Being more than obvious, I slid from the circle of his arms and walked across the room before leaning against the kitchen counter.

  His raised eyebrows were the only sign he gave that he wasn't thrilled with my decision.

  "Don't look at me like that," I shot back.

  Keller's shoulders shrugged, but he stayed where he was. "Sweetheart, there's only one way I can look at you, and it doesn't matter if you're in my arms or across the room. Nothing is going to change that."

  Squirming under his gaze, I knew he was right. The connection I felt with him was so strong, too strong. It didn't matter if we were touching or not. I could barely think straight when he was near me. All I wanted to do was be in his arms, and by the confident smirk on his face, I knew he realized exactly what was going through my mind.

  I stared at the ring on his hand, making sure he wasn't trying any of his mumbo jumbo, voodoo, heavenly power thing he could do on me this morning. Seeing the direction of my gaze, he grinned even bigger.

  "It's all me, love. I don't need any help."

  Completely frustrated, I stomped my foot and let out a low groan. "Well then, you might as well take me back in your arms because apparently I'm not going to be able to think straight no matter where I am if you're near."

  Keller crossed the room in three swift strides and wasted no time pulling me close. His mouth brushed near my ear as he whispered, "I thought you'd never ask."

  Before I knew what was happening, his lips began a trail down the side of my face, teasing without ever quite touching my lips. His hands kept a steady pressure at my waist. My own hands slid down his arms, and I felt the muscles in them flex and tighten as he lifted me up on the counter and then slid his own body in between my legs.

  I pulled him closer, my body easing to the edge of the counter. His mouth hungrily devoured mine, not letting me come up for air, as though I'd want to. His hands slid up from my waist and tugged at my shirt, before sliding up and under the material, going further and further until his hands circled around to the warmth of my back, pulling me close as he hugged me tight against his chest.

  Keller finally broke the connection of our lips and leaned his head against mine. His breathing was heavy as he tried to gain control. His frustration equaled my own, and I let out a small groan, my arms holding fast to his, silently begging him not to pull away, knowing he should.

  "I don't know how to stop this wanting, this constant need that I have for you. Even though I know I should, I don't want to stop," Keller ground out, his lips grazing mine in small, short kisses, even as he tried to quit touching me.

  My blue eyes found and held his gaze as I whispered, "Then don't. Don't stop."

  Keller groaned and pulled me tight one last time before reluctantly moving away. With determined strides, he moved to the other side of the room just as I had done earlier, even though we both knew distance did little to stop the need we felt. We were like magnets drawn to each other. It physically hurt when he wasn't touching me.

  Despite my own need, I knew he was right, and that was all that stopped me from jumping off the counter and following him across the room. I might could control myself from physically going to him, but I couldn't stop my gaze from hungrily devouring him. I bit my bottom lip, trying to control my desire.

  Keller's eyes were glued on my mouth as his own twisted up into a half grin. "You know you aren't making this any easier on me."

  "You'd be disappointed if I did," I shot back, a matching smile touching my own lips.

  Taking a deep breath, Keller looked at all the food he'd brought inside and put on the counters.

  "So, here's the plan. I'll pack up food for us to take on a picnic while you go find and pack anything else you think we might need."

  I raised one eyebrow and crossed my arms, relaxing my back now against the kitchen cabinets. "A picnic? Really? You come in last night telling me I am in mortal danger, and today you want us to go on a picnic. You make very little sense to me, oh master guardian."

  Keller's slow, even steps brought him back across the kitchen. His arms pulled at my legs until my body began slipping from the countertop and down the length of him before my feet finally touched the floor.

  "Don't get sassy with me, Earth girl. As you so clearly articulated, I'm your guardian, and I know what's best for you."

  Pressed close to him, I couldn't think, much less argue, so I simply nodded.

  Keller quirked one eyebrow and leaned back to look at me. "What? No argument? Don't tell me you're speechless, sweetheart. I'll begin to doubt it's really you."

  I curled my right hand into a fist and gave him a playful hit against his stomach. I knew it didn't hurt, but he stepped back enough so that we were no longer touching, and I could think a little better.

  "What was that for?" he looked slightly offended.

  "I just thought my guardian needed a little attitude adjustment."

  "You can adjust anything about me anytime you want to, love," Keller retorted. His mouth curved into that half grin of his that I loved so much.

  "Seriously," Keller continued, "I wanted us to do something ridiculously normal. You like the outdoors, it's a beautiful day, and I want - " he stumbled with his words, trying to gather his thoughts. "I just want us to have this day. Let's make a memory both of us can keep."

  Keller's eyes shifted to the floor and then back up to my face, worried he might have said too much, but I knew what he was trying to say, even if I didn't want to think about it.

  Even if things turned out well, and he and Granger could save me from whatever wanted to harm me, our time together was running out. Keller had to leave. He didn't belong here, with me. He was a sovereign guardian, and his place was in the heavens. Mine was here, with hopefully a long life before me. Only right now, I couldn't imagine that life without Keller in it. The entire situation was a horrible mess and there was no way to fix it where everyone could have a happily ever after. Knowing that, hating that, but still accepting that, I knew I had to take whatever I could, while I could.

  Somehow, my smile reached my eyes as I squeezed Keller's hands with my own. "A picnic sounds wonderful."

  The relief on his face was obvious, and I knew I'd said the right thing, even if it wasn't totally how I felt.

  What would be truly wonderful would be to never have to watch him leave.

  Letting go, I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to dig up a basket and blanket for our outing. I stopped and turned around, watching Keller sift through the bags of food, trying to decide what he would and wouldn't pack. It all seemed so normal that it w
as hard to believe I was really in danger.

  "Keller," I said, my voice capturing his attention.

  He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me.

  "How do you know it's safe for us to go out? What if something happens?"

  Keller's eyes widened at my question, before he hurried to explain. "Do you know how you told me you could always tell when something evil was there?" I nodded and he continued. "I don't know how to explain it to you exactly, but know that Granger or I would sense if something was close. There's nothing here right now. It's a regular day, and you are perfectly safe. We plan to make sure things stay that way, okay?"

  I nodded without saying anything else, knowing I trusted him with my life

  But then I guess that kind of trust happens when you fall in love.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The realization that I was in love with Keller should have terrified me, but instead it added a special glow to everything about the day. I couldn't stop the goofy grin I knew was plastered on my face. Keller looked at me with an odd expression on his face, but he never commented on my constant humming while I worked.

  All of the great romance stories I'd ever read played through my mind as I walked through the house, gathering what we would need. So many of the couples in the classic stories never got a happy ending, but it hadn't stopped them from falling in love. Even when love wasn't logical, it couldn't be stopped. I guess I was fated to be like one of those characters.

  Another thought came to me as I slipped on my tennis shoes and slowly tied the laces. Could guardians fall in love?

  After living in the heavens, I was quite certain that nothing in my world could compare. But I did know Keller felt something for me other than simply wanting to protect me.

  Protecting me was his job.

  Maybe kissing me was simply a perk to the job. I grinned, thinking if it was a job benefit, I'd have to make sure he felt amply compensated.

  Opening the front door, I knew instantly that Keller had been right, but then I wasn't really surprised. The weather outside was perfect for a picnic.