Hell, is this where she and Crash had been staying?
****
Skylar grabbed the grocery bag from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car. She’d gone down the road to the combination quickie-mart/gas station and picked up a half gallon of milk, and then as an indulgence, she’d grabbed a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. They’d just been delivered, and the smell of them was too tempting to refuse.
She headed inside. Juggling her purse and the grocery bag, she went to deactivate the alarm, and then realized she hadn’t activated it when she’d run out. Shrugging, she set it again, and then headed into the kitchen. There was a dim light burning over the sink, giving the room just enough light that she didn’t bother with flipping on the overhead lighting. Plopping her purse and the grocery bag down on the granite island, she dug the milk out and put it in the refrigerator. Turning back, she pulled out the box of doughnuts and tossed the bag in the trash can. As she crossed the kitchen to place the doughnuts on the counter next to the coffee maker something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. She glanced over toward the dining room.
A man was sitting in the shadows by the dining table, his chair angled toward her. It only took a split second for her eyes to flick over him. His face was completely in shadow, but a small amount of light spilled over his legs which were encased in jeans, one booted foot crossed over the opposite knee. He wore a black leather vest, a cut, covered in patches. In the dark, she couldn’t make out what MC it was, but her panicked mind went straight to the Devil Kings. They’d found her. A DK was sitting in her house waiting for her.
Stumbling back, she whirled to make a dash for the back door. She didn’t make it three steps before the man was on her, her body slamming up against the cabinet and countertop. One arm locked around her throat as he pulled her back against his chest, restraining her as easily as a child. Her hands grabbed his forearm, but she couldn’t break his hold. As every worst-possible scenario ran through her head, her eyes fell on the block of knives on the counter in the corner. She reached out her hand, frantically grasping toward it and felt the smooth wooden handle in her palm as she closed around the cleaver and yanked it from the block. At the same time, the unmistakable cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against her cheek.
“Drop it.” A man’s voice. Deep and rumbling and somehow familiar. It triggered some part of her brain, a memory buried deep inside a vault she’d thought she’d locked away years ago. She froze, her hand still clenched tight around the handle of the clever.
“Sky, drop it. Now.”
There was only one man that had ever called her that.
Shades.
The clever clattered to the granite counter as her body sagged back against him with relief. It was Shades. Not the Devil Kings. They hadn’t found her. They weren’t here to kill her.
The barrel of the gun was no longer pressed to her cheek. Shades stepped back long enough to spin her around, and then he was stepping right back in, crowding her against the edge of the counter again.
Something about the look in his eyes had her shoving him back. She managed to twist free of his hold, but didn’t get two steps before his hand closed over her upper arm, and he was pulling her back. She fought his hold, slapping at him and yanking back. When he’d apparently had enough, he spun and pinned her to the wall, his right hand coming up to close over her throat holding her there. He wasn’t choking her, but there was enough pressure there to let her know he was serious.
“Calm the fuck down,” he snapped.
“Let me go!” she tried to pull his hands away, but it was no use. He was too strong.
“I’m not gonna hurt you, Sky. Now settle down.” He stared down at her, his eyes intent on hers. There were strong feelings there reflected back at her, but hell if she could read them. Anger? Frustration? Desire? She couldn’t be sure. And then she was distracted from figuring it out as the thumb of the hand on her throat started stroking, the sensation stirring something back to life within her. She suddenly remembered how gentle his touch could be when he wanted. Swallowing, she pushed the thought out of her head. Her voice trembled when she spoke. “You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?”
“You know why I’m here.”
She shook her head, as much as his hand allowed. “There’s nothing for you here.”
He let out a huff of laughter. “You couldn’t be farther from the truth.”
“I’m not yours anymore. Get your hands off me.”
“Where’s your ol’ man?” he asked with a smirk because he already knew the answer. And that just pissed her off more.
“You know he left town. He was at the clubhouse saying his goodbyes not two hours ago.”
“Then maybe the question ought to be… what are you still doing here? He leave you behind?”
“That’s none of your business.”
He shook her. “I’m makin’ it my business.”
“Why? Why do you care? You made your choice years ago and it wasn’t me,” she reminded him.
“Sky—”
“Let me go,” she ground out.
He stepped closer, leaning down, his face just inches from hers. “Fuck, no. Not until we’ve talked this shit out.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s all ancient history now. You mean nothing to me.” She spit out the lie. That must have gotten to him, because she saw his head pull back as if her words had physically struck him.
“I went back for you.” His voice came out whisper soft, and his hold on her throat released, his palm gliding down to her collarbone where it stopped and rested warm against her skin.
She frowned, completely thrown by his words. She couldn’t have heard correctly.
“What?” she whispered back, barely audible.
“I went back for you. That night. I went back for you, Sky.”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t believe you.”
“I went to your house later that night. Your fuckin’ dick of a foster dad informed me you’d packed your shit and left without so much as a goodbye. Said you left without saying a word about where you were going. I wanted to punch him in his fucking smirking face.”
“Why? Why did you go there?”
“Because I realized I’d made the wrong fucking choice, Sky. I knew it the moment you drove away.”
“Bullshit. I don’t believe it. The club meant everything to you. I learned that the hard way.”
“It’s not bullshit.”
She let out a huff of laughter. “Right. Easy to say now, but I’m not stupid enough to believe for one minute that you would have given up the club for me.” She watched his jaw work as he stared down at her. “You just want what you can’t have. That’s all this is. I was off limits before, and I am again. It’s just the attraction of that. It’s the challenge you crave, nothing more.”
“Off limits? I don’t see your man around. He left town. Left you.”
“Let me go.” She tried to pull away from him but he now had her wrists in a vise grip.
“I got somethin’ to say to you, and I need you to hear it.”
She settled down and bit out, “Fine. Say it and go.”
He took in a frustrated deep breath, apparently not pleased with her attitude. Tough shit, she thought.
“Biggest mistake of my life, lettin’ you go.” He searched her eyes. “Sky, I’m sorry. For everything. For all of it. I’ve been sorry about everything since the moment you drove away. That’s the God’s honest truth. It’s eaten at me, all these years. Swear to God, not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you, wished I hadn’t done what I did. I fucked up. Big time.”
She stared up at him, trying to maintain that cold shell that protected her heart, but with every word that fell out of his mouth she felt another brick of ice shattering.
“Forgive me, baby. Please.” His hands released her wrists and they cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up to his as he stepped closer, mere inches between them. �
��I need you to forgive me.”
His words were tearing her up inside. Part of her wanted to believe him, wanted to forgive him. But part of her was afraid she was just opening herself up to more hurt. If she let him in again, believed his words again, it would break her this time, and she didn’t think she’d ever recover from it. No, she couldn’t afford to let herself believe his words, not when she had to protect herself. Protect her heart. So she let her face harden, her jaw tight, and she looked away from him.
“See you’re not gonna believe a word I fuckin’ say,” he ground out. “Guess I’m gonna have to show you.”
Before she knew what he was about to do, she was up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She shrieked, “Shades! Put me down.” He moved out of the kitchen and up the big staircase. When he got to the top, he only hesitated a moment before setting her down on her feet.
“Which room?” he demanded. His chest was heaving, and the look in his eyes told her he was a man determined to get his way.
Backing up a step, she whirled and dashed into the master suite, slamming the door in his face and quickly throwing the lock before he could react. A moment later, his voice was on the other side.
“Open the door, Sky.”
She stared at the closed door, the words of his apology replaying in her mind. He was sorry. He knew he’d fucked up. He’d thought of her every day. He’d gone back for her. Was it true? Was any of it true? Oh, God, he was going to break her. Her defenses kicked in.
“Go to hell.”
“Baby, don’t be like this. Let me in.”
“Get out.”
“That’s not gonna happen. Come on, sweetheart, we have a lot of shit to talk about. I get that. I know you’ve got a reason to hate me, but I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to let you go.”
Skylar closed her eyes, her forehead pressing against the door as he said the words she’d longed to hear once upon a time. A lifetime ago.
“Why are you here?” she whispered through the door.
She heard his voice close, as if he was bracing on his hands, leaning his face to the door. “Because I had no choice. Because I can’t stay away. Because this confrontation was a done deal the moment I laid eyes on you again. You signed that deal the minute you rode back through the clubhouse gate, babe.”
“I didn’t come looking for you.” She laid her palm on the wood.
“Maybe not. But now I’ve come looking for you.”
“Shades, please, just go.”
“Not happening, sweetheart, so open the door.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Shades, what we had is done. You need to let go of the past.”
“Have you let it go?” When she didn’t reply, he continued, not giving up. “Sky, I’m not leaving until we work some shit out.”
“There’s nothing to work out.” She pushed away from the door.
“The hell there’s not,” he growled.
“Go away, Shades. I’m not interested. Nothing about you interests me anymore. Get that through your head. I don’t want you.”
“Skylar, you want to play hard to get, I’m up for it, but don’t go cutting my balls off sayin’ shit like that.”
“I’m not hard to get. I’m impossible to get.”
“You’re teasing me, baby. Wild crazy foreplay, that’s all this is. You know it, and I know it.”
“You’re insane.”
“You do drive me crazy, woman, I’ll give you that. Now be a good girl, and open the door.”
She didn’t reply.
“Sweetheart, do I need to point out that at any time I want I could bust this door down?”
“Go away, Shades. Please.”
“Done playin’ with you, babe. Nothing and no one is keepin’ you from me. Not this time. No brother and no goddamn locked door. You need to get that through your head and get it right fucking now.” A moment later his deep, rough voice threatened, “I gotta break down this door, I will, Sky. Don’t for a minute think I won’t.”
She blew out a breath. She didn’t doubt him. She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do what he just threatened, and she couldn’t allow him to damage the place. The man who’d been kind enough to allow her to stay here didn’t deserve that. And she couldn’t call the police. Not on a member of the Evil Dead. She knew better than that. So, that left her no choice but to let him in. Turning, she took a deep breath and threw the lock. Before she could even turn the knob, he was pushing his way in and just as quickly slamming it shut behind him.
Taking a step back, her eyes went to his face, studying his expression. It was dark. His head was tipped down, his eyes boring into her from under his brows. There was something about that look that had her backing up until she reached out behind her and found the bed post with her hand. Its solid carved wood smooth beneath her palm. A moment later, her back was pressed to it.
“Say what you need to say, and then please go.” Her voice quavered, but she managed to lift her chin.
He stalked across the room toward her, slowly, intently. Saying nothing until he was standing in front of her, so close her rapidly rising and falling chest was just inches from brushing against him.
His hand came up and brushed a strand of her hair back and he breathed, “You were always beautiful, but damned if you aren’t even more beautiful now.”
Her breath left her, his words having the same effect on her they’d always had. She watched as his eyes swept over her, her body, her hair, her lips, before returning to her eyes.
“I should have never let you go, baby.” His fingers sifted through her hair. “Biggest mistake of my life.”
“But you did.”
“I’m sorry, Skylar. For all of it.”
She turned her head and tried to look away, but his hand came to her cheek and brought her eyes back to him.
“You don’t believe me.”
She shook her head slightly and watched his jaw tighten.
“I know I deserve that. That and more.”
“Is that…is that all you came to say?” she whispered, her eyes dropping.
“No.”
Her eyes came back to his, waiting for more. Whatever his more would be.
“I need to tell you about why I let you go. Why I ran you off.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she already knew, but something inside her stopped her. She wanted to see what he would say, if it would match the story Crash had told her.
“So tell me.”
“Do you remember that night we were in bed and I got that last call-out?”
She nodded. They’d been happy then, back when she’d foolishly been so sure of his love. Before it all went to hell.
“It was Cole. When I got to the meeting place, he was waiting for me. Told me he knew all about us. Laid it all out for me. I break it off with you or I could kiss my patch goodbye.”
She looked away, swallowing, her throat suddenly tight. She already knew he’d chosen that patch over her, but it still hurt to hear the words come out of his mouth.
“Sky.”
She didn’t respond.
“Look at me, please, baby.”
Taking in a deep breath, she lifted her eyes to his.
“Ain’t tellin’ you this shit to hurt you. I just want you to know the truth. You deserve to hear the truth.”
“So tell me.”
“He thought I was just playing with you.”
The words tore through her, and her eyes shifted away.
“I tried to tell him it wasn’t like that. That you meant something to me. That what we had was real.”
At that, her eyes came back to his. His searched hers, filled with regret and maybe looking for understanding.
“He didn’t buy it or if he did, he didn’t care. Didn’t give a damn what I said. There was only one outcome that he was going to settle for, and that was him ending us.”
“You ended us, Shades. Not him.”
She wa
tched his jaw clench, and his head dropped. Then it came back up. “Yeah. I ended us.”
She looked away again. “Was that all he did, threaten you with keeping you from getting your patch?”
“No. He beat the shit outta me that night. That make you feel better about it?”
Her eyes came up at that.
“I didn’t put up much of a fight. I knew he was right. I’d lied to my brothers. I’d lied to my sponsor. And maybe a part of me thought he was right about the rest, too.”
“The rest?”
“That I didn’t deserve you. That you deserved a lot better than me.”
“That night, you didn’t come back.”
He huffed out a breath. “Hell, my face was pretty busted up. I didn’t want you to see. It’s why I stayed away so long. I waited until I was mostly healed up before I finally called you.” He shrugged. “That and I was puttin’ it off as long as I could. But, Cole, he wasn’t having any of it. So, I called you. And I did what he’d ordered me to do. I broke it off with you.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? Why did you make me think you were just tired of me?”
“Because if I had, I knew you would have fought it. You wouldn’t have let me end it.”
She looked away, knowing he was right.
“I know you, babe.” He swallowed then, as if he didn’t want to admit his next words. “You’re stronger than me. You would have broken me down.”
“And you didn’t want that,” she snapped.
“The club meant everything to me. That patch meant everything to me.”
“Yes, Shades. I found that out.”
“Until you walked out. And I realized what I’d done.”
“Right.”
“I went back for you. I did, Sky. Maybe it would have still been the end of us, but I wanted to apologize, to let you know it wasn’t your fault. I couldn’t handle how destroyed you looked. I’d done that to you. Me. And it was tearing me up.”
SHADES: An Evil Dead MC Story (The Outlaw Series Book 3) Page 11