Cowboy is Mine (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 5)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “I’m just spittin’ happy that I’m out of that cabin. I swore if I didn’t get back on a horse again soon I was going to go mad. I’ve missed the land. I’ve missed y’all, even if most of you were a thorn in my ass.” He laughed.

  “No worries, my friend. Times are changing. No one will ever bother you again unless they want a size twelve boot up their ass.” Everyone, even Dodge, had enjoyed pestering Dade. Not to be mean, but to toughen him up. He’d come to Nirvana wet behind the ears and as gullible as a baby goat. But he was part of their family, and they watched each other’s back.

  Dade shrugged. “I’ll see you around. I have to get back for therapy.”

  Dodge packed up his things into the toolbox, jumped into the Gator and drove toward his cabin on staff row. The ranch had grown, especially in the last year. More cabins and treehouses had been built. The wedding venue was up and running, booked solid for months in advance. And the number of guests had tripled. Several new staff members had been hired, including hands, and things were shifting. It wasn’t that Dodge didn’t like change or growth, but something in his life needed tweaked. And fast.

  He pulled in front of his cabin and stomped through the door, toeing off his dirty boots. Sure, the place wasn’t much, but it was his. What more did a man need but a roof over his head, food in his stomach, and a hot shower.

  And that’s exactly what he needed now.

  Dragging off his dirty clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor to grab later, he headed for the bathroom—a long, cold shower was exactly what his body craved.

  The water released some of the tension in his muscles and he stood there until his hands started to wrinkle. Then he quickly lathered his hair and body, rinsed and got out.

  He dried off with a thick towel, dropped it over the bathroom hook and went to his bed. There he plopped down onto the mattress and closed his eyes. He didn’t have time for a nap. New guests were arriving, but after working on the fence all day, he needed, and deserved, a break. More from his aching loins than anything.

  He hadn’t slept with a woman in over a year. Being that he was a red-blooded man who worshipped soft curves and feminine scents, this was more like ten years of celibacy. Honestly, Krista was probably the last time he’d made love to a woman—the last time he’d felt any emotional connection outside of needing a quick release. He swore he’d never allow anyone else inside of his heart like he’d allowed his wife. It hurt too damn much when it ended.

  Laying here night after night, he ached with a longing that always left him raging. His cock jerked at the thought. For the last twelve months he’d been his only source of comfort and release. He was growing tired of masturbating, but it prevented him from fucking up again. He had grown tired of senseless fucks that left him feeling emptier than when they started.

  Krista’s angelic face played on a reel in his mind. Her long dark hair. Her luscious frame with curves that made him harder than cement. He remembered how she’d given herself to him. He’d been her first. She was shy at first, but she’d become passionate and filled with a fervor that he couldn’t quite describe.

  But she left me. And he’d never attempted to find her, although he’d always wondered what happened to her. In the respites of his mind he wondered if she’d found someone new, had a kid or two. She’d never remarried, that’s for damn sure. He’d never been a mean person, but he felt a sense of pleasure that she was still married to him and she could never fully give herself to another man.

  It wasn’t right…but it was true. When he thought of another man touching her, hearing her whimpers of passion, feeling her writhing under his body as she gyrated her tight pussy, it made Dodge want to hit the wall. Or pound another fence into place.

  He’d sat down once and wrote her a letter explaining that he’d never cheated while he was with her, but halfway through it he’d crumpled the paper and gave it a toss into the trashcan. He’d never been good at writing.

  Why had it meant so much to him? Why did it matter now?

  Here lately he’d been thinking a lot about his future, even before the call came from his dad. Although he loved Nirvana, loved the solitude and staff, he also knew eventually he’d have to start thinking about moving on. He couldn’t be here another five, ten, fifteen years. This place was a stepping stone. Even Chase, the owner, knew the turnover was quick. This wasn’t a nine to five with retirement.

  He had a life awaiting him in Montana.

  When he was ten, his corporate attorney father and stay-at-home mother had packed up their belongings in Chicago and, with their five boys, they’d moved from the big city to a secluded property fifteen miles from any neighbors in Montana. To fit in with the locals, the boys had each gotten a Stetson, a horse, and they learned to ride like pros. They were out on the land from dawn until dusk, working, playing and being heathens. Being boys. His parents had a dream of running a bed and breakfast, so they turned the large cabin into a B&B. Then came more cabins, more property, and eventually Five Rock had become a popular getaway, especially during the cold months and holidays when everyone wanted to get away from everyday life. The resort had come far over the years. His parents’ dreams had turned to reality. They were still in love, still called each other their best friend. After thirty-eight years of marriage and working side by side for most of it, Dodge would think they’d want some time away from each other, but in all of the years they’d only spent five nights apart and that was when their sons were born. The Wyatts had been offered several million dollar deals from developers, yet his parents had always adhered to the idea that their boys would live on and run the ranch/resort.

  Dodge knew he was a disappointment to his family. They’d been proud of him when he went off to college, played football and was drafted, but after the injury he realized they’d expected him to come home, just as his brothers had after graduating. Sure, maybe he’d made the wrong decision by not going back, but he’d needed time. He missed his family—especially his brothers. Although they didn’t always see eye-to-eye, they cared for each other. They were a big reason why he was so damn good at football. With three rough older brothers, he and his youngest brother had no choice but to run like the wind so they wouldn’t get their asses beat. It wasn’t until he could outrun and outplay them on the field that they sat up and gave him respect. Instead of teasing him, they’d started helping him get better and better.

  Lately, Dodge was seriously thinking of going home. He’d learned a lot since coming to work at Nirvana, and maybe it was time he took that knowledge and put it toward his own dreams.

  He rolled over and pounded the pillow. He inhaled sharply and exhaled slowly, feeling a tweaking in his gut. He wanted nothing more than to catch a scent of feminine skin. To knead the firm swell of breasts and thick, taut nipples. Smooth his palms down the soft curves of silken hips and thighs. Feel the lingering light touch of exploring fingertips and moist lips. He moaned, hearing an urgent voice call his name over and over again.

  He had no choice but to take matters into his own hand—literally.

  Reaching for his throbbing cock, he wrapped his fingers around the shaft, and while memory after memory of Krista flooded through his brain, he continued to pump his muscle, alleviating the superficial need. He remembered so well how good she smelled, how sweet she tasted, the arching of her slender body as he brought passion to her. How he stroked her quivering flesh and the special way she’d thrash under his touch when he’d found the right spot. Her luscious body with firm breasts and large, pale pink nipples that were sensitive under his palms. Her long legs that wrapped around his hips, her heels pressing into the backs of his thighs, riding and clinging to him. She’d been a responsive lover, giving as well as taking. She’d learned her body and what brought her pleasure, and she’d had a sexual appetite that had not only surprised him, but had him hard and horny every night. She’d eagerly given him blowjobs, sucking him so expertly he couldn’t believe she’d never had those pink lips circled around ano
ther man. She’d delighted, almost educated herself, on making love with him. In return, he’d learned her, every inch of her sweet body inside and out. What she liked, and how he could take her close to heaven while still here on earth. They’d enjoyed holding each other beyond just sex. They’d talk for hours until sleep finally took them under its wing, encircled in each other’s arms as if they couldn’t bear the thought of being apart, even in slumber.

  A ragged breath tore from his throat and his stomach tightened. His balls ached as a bittersweet tremor raced through him. He squirted all over his stomach and it seemed to continue for a long time. He lay there for a good ten minutes, staring at the ceiling, wishing he felt a release in the recesses of his body.

  Getting up, he cleaned himself, dragged the sheets off of his twin sized bed and put on clean sheets. Today was laundry day so he gathered all of his dirty clothes, piled them into a basket and placed it by the door. Thankfully, his mother had taught him and his brothers to be independent. Dodge could wash his clothes, cook a meal, and clean as early as eleven, yet nothing domesticated was at the top of his priorities. He’d rather be outdoors, working the land. It wasn’t that he thought cleaning was woman’s work. At home, they’d all had chores and weren’t limited to gender. He used to be teased by his brothers because he was the best dish washer. He now picked up a few coffee cups and bowls, and washed them in the sink. He shook out the rug, swept the floor, and wiped down the toilet, feeling a little better about himself. No one saw the place, but he couldn’t live in his ‘own filth’, as his mom would say.

  Checking the time, he had an hour before he had to be at the administrative office to greet the newest guest. Shit! Her file was sitting on his dresser and he hadn’t even taken the time to glance through it. He didn’t have the need, figuring she’d fill him in when she arrived. He pushed his hand through his hair and sighed. Where had his motivation gone? He was becoming too relaxed.

  The loneliness was getting to him, that’s for damned sure.

  There was no time to feel sorry for himself when he had a busy schedule.

  Dressing in worn jeans and a crisp button down shirt, he rolled the sleeves high on his arms. His hair had already dried from the shower and he pushed a comb through it attempting to tame the longish style, but little good it did. He didn’t care that the wayward waves had taken over. He always wore a hat anyhow. He stuck his black Stetson on his head and left the cabin with the basket of laundry.

  Climbing into his Gator, he drove toward the laundry facilities and loaded his small basket of items into an available washer. He dumped in some detergent and fabric softener, then dropped in a few coins and stabbed the start button. He’d come back and load them into the dryer later, if he remembered.

  “Are you going to regret not separating the whites from the darks?” The female voice made him scan the room. Moon, one of the newest hands, stood up from a chair in the semi-shadows and strolled toward him. She was a beautiful woman and had a sexiness about her that couldn’t be ignored, but they were friends and he respected the fact that she could carry her weight at the ranch as much as the men.

  “Not at all. I don’t care if my white socks are grey.”

  “Didn’t think so.”

  “How are things coming along, Moon? You still having some issues with the other hands?” he asked.

  She shrugged and the collar of her shirt swept low on her shoulder. He knew exactly what was wrong with a few of the cowboys. They couldn’t get their misbehaving dicks to stop getting hard when she was around. Hell, she didn’t give them any reason to slobber like poor fools.

  “They’re fine, Dodge.”

  “You know, I have to admit, at first I was a little leery about a female coming to work as a hand, but you’ve proven you’re as tough as each of us.”

  “Look, honestly, I know I’m not as tough as the rest of you, but I’m good with horses, the best trainer you’ll find, and that’s why Chase took a chance on me.” Her jaw became stiffer.

  “If you need anything, you know I’m around.”

  “You’ve been good to me. I feel like I owe you.”

  “I tell you how you can repay me. Give me a holler over the radio and remind me that I have laundry. I’m notorious for forgetting.”

  “Just like poor time management? Don’t you have a guest you’re supposed to meet?” she asked, leaning her hip against the side of a washer. She gave her long red hair a toss over her shoulder.

  “Before long. Just trying to get a few things done first.”

  “Don’t you just love laundry day?” She wrinkled her nose. “I’d like to forget it too. Yet, we get dirtier and stinkier than most people.”

  “Laundry is about as enjoyable as a thorn in my ass.” He started for the door. “Will you be at the bonfire tonight?” Once a month they roasted a pig over a fire, had a keg, and music. The event gave all of the guests time to congregate and socialize.

  “With bells on,” she said with a smile.

  Back in the cart, he headed toward the vegetable garden and stopped where several guests were on their hands and knees plucking leftover weeds from a tilled row. The garden plot had tripled in size, and he guessed in a few months they would have their best crop yet. Everything here would be used in the kitchen to feed the guests and staff.

  Movement across the yard caught his attention. Chase’s wife, Kaycee, had a large basket leaning on her hip as she wobbled around a dirt mound. She was due to deliver any day now. In fact, Dodge thought he remembered hearing that she was overdue. He wasn’t sure how things would change around here once the baby was born, but he liked kids. Hell, truth was, he’d hoped he would be a father by now. He wasn’t old by a long shot, but he had a yearning deep inside of his gut to show a boy or girl how to fish, ride a horse, and maybe shoot a bow and arrow.

  He rubbed his jaw—the stab of loneliness deepened.

  Kaycee waved at him and she set her basket down gradually. She was moving slower. He liked her—a lot. He was happy for the boss and knew the two made the perfect couple. She had her long hair pulled up high on her head and the long, blue dress flowed over her new, voluptuous baby curves, especially the large basketball bump that she was lovingly covering with her palms.

  An image of Krista, full with child, bombarded his mind. He sucked back a groan. Yeah, when they were together he’d dreamed of the time when they would be parents.

  He didn’t care if he had a boy or girl, maybe one of each as long as he or she was healthy and happy. Once upon a time he’d imagined a little girl with Krista’s long dark hair and big blue eyes. Or a son with his stubborn resilience and passion for sports. Or anything.

  Sliding out of the cart, he stomped across the yard. He was caged in a hell of his own making. He needed to break out of the mold.

  Kaycee was picking up the water hose and he quickly jogged toward her. “Let me do the honors.”

  “As you wish.” She handed over the hose.

  “Looks like it’s planting day,” he said scanning the rows of dirt. He heard laughter, followed by whispers, as he caught the eye of two female guests who were elbows deep in soil, but their attention was directed on him. He winked and they burst into giggles like two schoolgirls. Yeah, the hands knew they were somewhat of celebrities with the guests here at Nirvana. Some came just to meet the cowboys. They’d had offer after offer to model for calendars, make commercials, even show up at a big city gala to be auctioned off for charity, but each invitation was rejected. They liked their privacy.

  “How are you, Dodge? Or should I say, looks like you’re still a hit with the ladies.” Kaycee smiled.

  “It’s the Stetson. Gets them every single time.”

  “Yeah, let’s give all the credit to the hat and not the dimples and the pretty smile.”

  “You’re going to make me blush.”

  “Don’t pretend you don’t love the attention. I know y’all love it, even if you say differently.”

  He turned on the water to a gen
tle spray. He accidently splattered the group of women planting cucumbers. “Sorry, ladies. My aim is terrible.”

  They laughed and didn’t seem to mind the moisture at all. “I bet your aim is just fine, Dodge,” one of the ladies purred.

  Kaycee shook her head and grinned. “I can’t believe how warm it is outside. Isn’t it beautiful, ladies?”

  The women nodded unabashedly.

  “Yes, it is. But aren’t you supposed to be resting?” Dodge asked Kaycee.

  “I’ve been on maternity leave for a month and this little booger is a week overdue.” She patted her stomach. “I find coming out here and working, or rather watching because I can no longer bend freely, is very relaxing. Maybe a miracle will happen and my water will break. If you see Chase, don’t tell him I’m out here though. He’ll make me go back inside the house and rest.”

  Dodge laughed, sprinkling the dirt and not the ladies. “You know we don’t have to tell Chase anything.” Dodge pointed at the Gator kicking up dust as it made its way toward the garden. “He knows everything. Always has. Always will. That’s what makes him the boss.”

  Chase was out of his cart in no time at all, strolling toward his wife, and then kissing her cheek. “Sweetheart, what are you doing out here?”

  Kaycee sighed. “I was bored and the sun is shining so pretty. I didn’t want to be holed up any longer. What can happen besides labor starting? That wouldn’t be so bad, huh?”

  Chase looked at his wife with open admiration. “My sweet love, I’m as anxious for our baby to come as you are, but the doctor said the swelling in your ankles is a sign that you need rest.”

  “I know my limits, Chase.” She patted his cheek.

  “Will you allow me to take you back to the house if I promise to stay with you?”

  Reluctantly, she nodded then one corner of her mouth lifted. “Okay.”

  “Don’t forget the new arrivals, Dodge,” Chase said from over his shoulder as he led his wobbling wife to the Gator.