The 7th Tarot Card

by Valerie Clay

  He looked at me with a kind of coldness, a fearsome expression I’d never seen before. The little scar on his lip that I loved so much suddenly made his face take on a dangerous aspect. I sat deathly still and waited.

  “The instant I was old enough, I joined the IDF, just like my father, the hero. When I look back on it all, I think I just wanted to make someone pay.”

  He turned back to me. “With all my anger and the recklessness of youth, I excelled in my training. It didn’t take me long to move up in the ranks. I was driven by pain and extremely skillful in whatever I was taught.” He averted his gaze and picked up his glass. “I won’t bore you with the details of my military career, so I’ll just say that, until recently, I was a member of Mossad,”

  “Mossad?” I repeated numbly.

  He leaned forward on the sofa, resting his arms on his knees and stared into his glass. He nodded his head as he clarified, “Israeli Intelligence.”

  “But you’re not working for them now?”

  “No. Things happened. I needed to get away—find somewhere, anywhere new, different. Try and forget.” He put his glass down, stood up, walked over to the fireplace and gazed down into the warm glow. Flames danced softly across the fire log, casting flickering shadows onto the blackened hearth. A small ember popped and hissed as it splintered off the charred wood and fell through the grate.

  I remained seated and gently asked, “Will you tell me about it?”

  There was a long silence as he stood with his back to me, as if trying to make a decision, then Judah turned and began, “I’ve been alone most of my life, as I’ve just explained, and I’ve done a pretty good job of closing off my emotions; not letting myself get involved. But then one day I met a woman and I took a chance. She was the daughter of a diplomat, everything that I was not: refined, educated at the finest schools, very high society. She had this beautiful smile and a surprisingly wicked sense of humor. I was on the detail assigned to protect her father during the last months of his term in Israel. I fell in love with her and she said she loved me.”

  He paused for a moment, looked down at the floor.

  “Go on,” I said, afraid of what was coming next.

  In a flat voice, he continued. “My grand plan was to leave the agency, get married, and begin a new life with her in London. For the first time, I thought I had a chance at a real family, a normal life.” A wistful smile fleetingly crossed his face, and then it vanished.

  “Tell me what happened,” I pressed.

  Judah hesitated a moment, then spoke. “One night, she and her parents were coming out of a party, a big diplomatic affair. Black tie, very formal and all that. As they approached their limo, I caught a glimpse of a gunman. Gunfire erupted and I shoved her father to the ground, but not before he was shot. People were screaming and running. Chaos was everywhere. When I determined her father was only wounded, I took off after the shooter and chased him down. In seconds I overtook him but I couldn’t use my gun – too risky with all the pandemonium.” He stopped talking.

  “And?” I asked softly.

  “And I beat the bastard to a bloody mess. He was an assassin and I did what I do best. Maybe I used a little too much force.”

  I formed my words carefully. “I’m afraid to ask, but what happened to your fiancé? Was she—”

  “She was fine. Scared, but fine.”

  “So, I guess I don’t understand. If your fiancé was okay and her father was only wounded, what went wrong?”

  He smiled a mirthless smile and ran his hand through his hair. “She changed after that. Started making excuses about why she couldn’t see me. Finally, one day, I confronted her, forced her to talk to me. I’ll never forget the look on her face. I’d hoped that somehow it was her parents, that they’d tried to turn her against me and I could still fight for her. But it wasn’t them. She looked coldheartedly into my eyes and told me I was simply too rough for her. I believe her exact word was brutish. Said she really didn’t know me until that night. Said she needed to be with someone more civilized, better suited for the kind of life she envisioned for herself.”

  “You saved her father’s life, and that’s how she repaid you?”

  “Yes, another one of life’s little ironies, isn’t it? But, I can’t blame her. She was probably right.”

  My heart went out to him. All my self-righteous indignation was long gone. In its place, a profound sadness emerged. It couldn’t have been easy for a proud man such as he, to reveal the bleak circumstances of his life. Yet he was achingly honest. I stood up, took a few steps toward him, but he stiffened and shook his head no. Alarmed, I stopped, unsure what to do or say, so I returned to the sofa and sat down, feeling helpless.

  The stereo finished playing the last song on the CD and the music ended. The only sound in the room was the soft crackling of the fire. Judah didn’t speak, and although he was looking at me, his eyes held no warmth.

  After a few moments of stillness, I asked, “How long ago was that?”

  “A few years now, I guess. I try not to think about it.” He turned and looked down into the fire.

  “So, what are you doing now?”

  “I have friends in the FBI. They convinced me to come over here for a while. I do work for them from time to time. Kind of an independent contractor, as I told you when we first met.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “What kind of work could you do in Seattle?”

  “I can’t be specific, but I can tell you that your Pacific Northwest is a beautiful place, one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately it’s not immune to the hate groups that are springing up across this country: skin heads, neo-nazis, militias. The sad thing is, there’s more than enough work to do here. But again, I can’t get into it.”

  “But, if you’re working for the government,” I said, puzzled, “why were you reluctant to go with me into the police station?”

  “My work is undercover. I need to stay off the grid; keep away from the local law.”

  “So that explains why you have such irregular hours,” I said. “Not that I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”

  He smiled briefly, then moved back towards me, picked up his glass and took another sip of wine. When he spoke again, his expression was stone-cold, his voice hard. “So now you know everything there is to know about me. You see why I can’t stay. Whenever I’ve loved anyone in my life, I’ve lost them. It’s just the simple truth about my life I have to face. Maybe it’s my fate to be alone. Who knows? But I’ll be damned if I’ll go through another loss. This isn’t for me, and I know I’m not the right man for you. There are things I’ve done. Things I can’t talk about. But, believe me when I say you would be repelled. A woman like you—you deserve so much better.” With that he put his glass down on the coffee table, turned, and started for the door.

  As he strode across the room I jumped up and shouted, “Wait, don’t go. Stay here with me. Please! Whether or not you’re the right man for me is my decision. Not yours. I’m stronger than you think. I can take it.”

  But there was no going back. Not for him. He opened the door, walked out, and shut it firmly behind him. And with that, he was gone.

  I was devastated, maybe even a little frightened, never expecting to hear anything remotely close to what he had just told me. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was too much for me to handle. Swept up in a toxic haze, I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, barely breathing. I put my face in my hands, blinking back the tears, trying to think, trying to understand, but everything had flipped upside down. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing.

  Except Judah.

  My mind told me to let him go, he’s too dangerous, too broken, but my heart kept pulling me back. He was the only thing that mattered. Whatever he had done or might have to do in his work, it didn’t change anything. Given the right situation, the right circumstances, I knew that anyone was capable of anything. I never thought I could shoot a man, but just a few days ago in Las Vegas I poi
nted a gun at Lenny and pulled the trigger.

  No, Judah was a good and decent man. Of that I was certain. I could trust him with my life. I already had. It was clear to me that I couldn’t let him go. I wouldn’t. I would beg him to stay if that’s what it took. I made up my mind. Goodbye safe and predictable, hello brave new world. I’m diving headfirst into the deep end.

  Scrambling to my feet, I raced to the door, threw it open, and bolted down the stairs. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe I could still catch him.

  The distant sound of a car door slamming and an engine starting up filled my stomach with dread as I ran past the garages and toward the parking lot. The pavement, slick from the rain, caused my shoes to slip sideways as I rounded the corner, but somehow I managed to stay upright in my feverish rush. I reached the parking lot in time to see the tail lights of a car pulling out of the complex and onto the road. I had hesitated too long. Helplessly, I watched as the lights disappeared down the street, into the dark night and the heavy mist that blanketed the trees and the ground. It was all over. He was gone and a part of me was lost, irretrievably and forever. He who hesitates is lost, as the saying goes, and so I was.

  Standing there in the dark, oblivious to the damp chill of the evening rain, a deep and empty loneliness engulfed me, reaching to my very core. How could this have happened? What could I have done differently? I could think of no good answer. My heart filled with grief as hot tears ran down my cheeks.

  Finally, numbly, I turned to go back inside when I noticed the figure of a man, faintly visible in the dim glow of a street lamp, standing motionless in the night, his hand resting on the door handle of his car, a black Porsche. Judah’s car.

  “Judah?” I called out to him in disbelief. Was it really him, or was my mind playing tricks on me? After a moment, he turned slowly and looked at me. Overcome with surprise and joy, I ran breathlessly, hurrying, sweeping through the rain to him. He moved toward me, locked his arms around me and clung to me like a long lost child clings to his mother. And as he held me I melted into him, becoming part of him, and I realized my world had changed forever. Here, finally, was home, I thought. It wasn’t exactly what I’d imagined, but it was everything I needed.

  I lifted my head and gazed up into his face. In his dark eyes I saw surrender and a vulnerability that made my heart ache with love. Then he kissed me over and over again with a passion that set my soul on fire.

  As he covered my face and neck with his kisses, he whispered a warning to me, “I need to tell you something.”

  “What?” I asked breathlessly.

  “I travel. A lot.”

  “I know,” I replied between kisses.

  “And my work can be very dangerous.” He nuzzled my neck.

  “I know that too.” I sighed.

  “And I’m probably lousy boyfriend material.”

  “Goes without saying.”

  “So, are you sure you want—”

  “Sshh,” I said as I pressed my finger against his warm lips. “I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I think I started falling for you the day you gave me your card and told me I could call you anytime day or night, no matter what time.”

  He took my finger in his mouth and playfully bit it. “I think I started falling for you the moment I found you hanging upside down on that ridiculous contraption.”

  I laughed out loud with delight as I took his hand and led him out of the rain and back up the stairs to my condo. After we closed the door behind us, I pulled him to me and whispered in his ear, “It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

  He pushed me up against the wall, pressed his body hard into mine, and smothered me with sweet, sweet kisses that made me dizzy with desire and joy.

  And I smiled. I still didn’t know his last name.

  *******

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading The 7th Tarot Card. If you enjoyed it, I’d be very grateful if you’d take a moment to post a positive review on Amazon.com. Your support really does make a difference.

  If you’d like to leave a review, all you need to do is visit the review section on the book’s Amazon page. Next, just click on the button at the bottom of the customer review section that says “Write a customer review.”

  Thanks again for reading!

  Valerie

  www.valerieclay.com