The Shining Wall

by Melissa Ferguson

  The shack that had been home to the three of them now seemed empty and pointless. The oily stench of the last meal she’d shared with Graycie – fried field mushrooms and nettles – still lingered. A neatly folded pile of Graycie and Mum’s threads filled one corner; Alida didn’t have the heart to take them to the recycler. Charcoal stick figures and smiling suns gazed down from one plywood wall. Faded cardboard pictures of colourful fish, fields of flowers and snowy peaks covered another wall. Those were Mum’s. They’d been there for as long as Alida could remember.

  Heaps of times Alida had wished Mum and Gray would make themselves scarce so she could wank, or bring home a bedfriend, or just read a book without them both gabbing on and banging around. Now all she wanted was both of them back.

  She needed to talk to someone. The only person she had left was Zave. She turned on the communications functions of her implant. Her inbox pinged and pinged and pinged. A flood of messages from Freel and Ganya. Her stomach fell. She didn’t give a shit what Freel thought of her because she never wanted another one of his gigs ever again, but he had a shitload of clout in the Demi-Settlements.

  She trashed all of them except the most recent message from Ganya: Alida, I understand you not wanting to do this kind of work. It’s not for everyone. However, you’ve ticked off Freel. He’ll never let you work for him again. Keep out of his way for a while. He’ll cool down eventually.

  Freel and Ganya were a hassle she didn’t need right now. She’d happily keep out of their way.

  She called Zave and he answered almost immediately.

  ‘So you’re up then,’ Alida said, mouthing the words silently as she sent them on invisible currents from her own brain to Zave’s.

  ‘I was waiting for my next dose of painkiller.’

  ‘Painkiller? Why?’ Alida lay down and closed her burning eyes.

  ‘I got into some trouble, Al.’

  ‘What happened?’ Alida rubbed Graycie’s blanket against her cheek.

  ‘One of my new clients didn’t wanna pay. He beat me up pretty bad.’

  ‘No shit? Are you okay? Do you want me to find some help or something?’ Alida had guessed this might happen. He was lucky he hadn’t been killed. She rubbed at her temples, where a headache had been threatening all day.

  ‘Nah. The HealthSentinel nanites are on the job. I’ll be cool in a couple of days.’

  ‘Jeez, Zee. You have to stop that shit.’

  Zave had always been such a wimp, getting Alida to stick up for him when some bully pushed him around. She couldn’t help him with this though. She couldn’t be his fists against the kind of characters he was messing with.

  ‘I will. I’m giving away passenger and then I won’t need the work. I’ll start scavenging again. I’ve learnt my lesson.’

  She hoped it would be that easy. ‘I’m glad. I’ve missed the old Zave.’

  ‘Anyway, did you wanna chat about something?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ She pressed Mum’s pillow to her nose and breathed in the faint scent of Mum’s citrusy dry shampoo.

  ‘You called me at this loopy hour. The Alida I know is usually fast asleep by now. How slick is this MindLine thing, by the way?’

  ‘Yep. Slick. I guess I just wanted to test it out.’ Alida suddenly couldn’t bring herself to talk about Graycie. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

  ‘You know there’s a sleep program on the implant, don’t ya, dickhead?’

  ‘Hell. I’m the one who’s meant to know these things. I’ve been gabbing on about the implant all day. Distracted, I guess.’

  ‘Gotta go. My painkiller’s up. It’s all I’m living for right now.’

  ‘That’s okay. Get some rest and I’ll see you soon.’

  ‘Laters.’

  Alida disconnected. The throbbing in her head intensified and her guts swirled. She was making herself sick with all the stress and tension. She lay down and opened the IntelliEnhance sleep program. She set it for two cycles and activated the green Commence sleep program icon on her vision panel.

  CHAPTER 29

  Ferrassie was curled up on her bed, watching the door. Soon Lars would be there. He came at the same time every day. It was the only thing that kept her going.

  Amud eyed her from across the room, arms crossed over his chest. He was yakking with Shuqba. Both of them kept checking her out. She put her pillow over her head. Why couldn’t they leave her alone? Why did they have to be so concerned about every puny thing she did or didn’t do every minute of the day?

  She wished Lars would hurry up. They needed to talk. She lifted the pillow and checked the door again.

  Lars came into the dorm, holding a box of something. He always brought special eats to tempt her – pastries, cakes, chocolates or soy meat pies. Ferrassie jumped up from the bed.

  ‘Let’s go the greenspace.’ She grabbed Lars by the wrist and dragged him with her.

  Lars stumbled forward. ‘Hey, slow down a little.’

  Sometimes Ferrassie forgot how much stronger than him she was. She loosened her grip and kept on towards the stairwell.

  The door closed behind them, cutting them off from all the rubberneckers. Lars adjusted his grip on the box of treats and intertwined his fingers with Ferrassie’s as they marched upwards. Desire and despair welled inside her. Her life had become some tragic romance tube bullcrap.

  Halfway up the stairs Lars said, ‘I need to catch my breath.’ He was puffing and his face was red and clammy.

  ‘What’s up with you?’ He’d never had any trouble climbing the stairs before.

  ‘I’ve got a mild virus. My HealthSentinel’s fighting it. I should be right by tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh. We’ll go slower then. One more floor.’ He would be fine. Some Citizens lived to one hundred and fifty. They had amazing health care. It wasn’t like when a Neo was crook and got sent to the Neo medical centre never to return.

  The sun had fully set by the time they reached the greenspace. They leaned against the railing. The growing things and the view of the city from up there used to comfort Ferrassie. Now nothing gave her comfort. Except for Lars.

  ‘I’ve had news,’ she finally said. Neo Control copper Noon had been to see her during the day, when the barracks were nearly empty. He’d seemed chuffed to be the one to bring her the news. She’d been so terrified at the sight of him she hadn’t understood what he was telling her until he’d scooted off.

  ‘What is it?’ Lars took her hands in his.

  ‘Three days until I’m transferred.’ There’d been a moment of relief when she first found out. The dreaded day had come. She hadn’t allowed herself to think past it to the even more dreaded days to follow. One thing at a time or she would be flattened by the weight of it all.

  Lars squeezed her hands. ‘Just three days?’

  ‘I’m scared. I’m so scared.’ She leaned her forehead against his chest. She’d had the idea she’d feel better saying it out loud. She didn’t. But she couldn’t stop. ‘I’m not scared of croaking. Well … I don’t want to … I’m scared of the pain. I’m scared they’ll hurt me before they finish me off.’

  He got all soppy-eyed. ‘Oh, Rassie.’ He pulled her tight to him.

  ‘So this plan of yours,’ she mumbled into his chest. Her only hope was that he could carry out whatever his plan was in the three days she had left.

  Lars spoke into her hair, the heat of his breath soothing on the crown of her head. ‘I didn’t want to get your hopes up or my hopes up, but I’ve been attempting to find out the location of the free-Neo camp. I planned to sneak you out in my truck and deliver you to them.’

  ‘Oh. The free-Neos are real?’ She pulled away, frowning.

  ‘Indeed. But they’re very secretive and cautious.’

  Ferrassie pulled a dying leaf off one of the nearby plants and crushed it in her fist. She’d had no idea his plan would involve leaving the city behind and starting a new and uncertain life out in the wilds with a bunch of strange Neos.

  Then ag
ain, what other option did she have?

  ‘So it all depends on whether you can get in touch with them?’

  ‘Exactly.’ Lars leaned against the rail with his fingertips pressing his brow.

  ‘Couldn’t we sneak out of the city anyway? We could find somewhere to hide in the wilds or the burbs.’

  ‘I don’t know … I don’t think we’d be able to survive in the wilds on our own. Besides, LeaderCorp would be able to track me by my implant.’

  He was right. This wasn’t actually a romance tube. She couldn’t expect Lars to risk his life to go into hiding with her. Life was chaotic and dangerous outside the cities. She’d been provided with eats and shelter all her life. She may have watched nearly every episode of Keeping Up with the Cavemen, but that was more fiction than survival training. She had no idea how to survive outside of the workers’ barracks.

  Lars put a hand to her cheek. ‘We have three more days. I’ll keep trying. I think I’m close.’

  She leaned her cheek against his hand and stroked it with her own. The fear of her future fell away; all she thought about was the heat of Lars’s hands on her. He leaned in and smooched her on the lips.

  CHAPTER 30

  Alida searched through a pile of her threads for something semi-clean to wear. The shack was a mess. She hadn’t done any laundry or tidying since Graycie had gone. She didn’t see the point. Her gig at the hub and hanging out with Shuqba were the only things that got her out of bed in the morning. Her HealthSentinel had prescribed antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication. Thanks to the dosh she’d got in return for Graycie she was comfortable enough to afford the drugs without panicking. They weren’t as slick as passenger, but they took the edge off. Still, no amount of drugs could make her forget how much she missed Mum and Graycie.

  She found a less dusty-looking T-shirt at the bottom of the pile and held it up to her nose for the sniff test. A small piece of white card tumbled onto the floor. Alida held it under the solar light to read the silver lettering.

  Zaneela Q

  Aesthetic Technology Consultant

  LeaderCorp Tower

  City 1

  MindLine: ZanQ001

  CorpNet: ZaneelaQ Aesthetic

  Alida’s stomach clenched remembering her first gig for Freel with Prince Clement and the Fairy Godmothers Zaneela and Jocasta. She’d hated those pervs. Almost as much as she’d hated the person she was when she was with them. Even the memory of Zaneela styling her hair filled her with revulsion.

  She also remembered Zaneela had said she could make Alida a Citizen if she rented out her womb to them.

  Alida’s hands went to her belly. She could barely handle losing Graycie – how could she possibly give up a littlie she’d grown inside her? But as a Citizen she’d be able to see Graycie whenever she fancied. And there were countless other shiny perks of citizenship. Maybe she could wriggle out of giving them a littlie once she had her citizenship. She could use the fertility functions on her IntelliEnhance to prevent getting knocked up or something.

  Too many of her plans ended in or something.

  These characters were high up in LeaderCorp and, according to Ganya, the Sapien Enhancement Movement. To people like them, Demis like Alida were disposable, nano-waste to be assembled into whatever they fancied.

  Still, she had to try. At least have a chat about it. She opened MindLine and recorded a message to Zaneela outlining her terms. She didn’t have to commit to anything right away. She would just find out if the offer was legit, if Zaneela could really wave a magic wand and turn her into a Citizen. She hesitated before hitting send. She listened to the message again and tried to imagine what Zaneela might think when she heard it. Did she sound well enough and sane enough to be someone they’d want a littlie from? Would they suspect she was planning on scamming them? She had to get to the hub. She saved the message without sending. She had to chew it over some more.

  Alida pinged Shuqba’s OmniScreen as she approached the hub. The implant rollout was complete and she had a gig for another week to assist anyone having hassles with their new tech. There was quite a crowd and not the same old faces she saw every day either. Maybe LeaderCorp would keep her on for even longer if heaps of people needed her help.

  The early birds parted to let Alida through and Shuqba unlocked the gate for her.

  ‘Half an hour until gates open,’ Shuqba said to the crowd.

  The first rays of sunlight reflected off the metal bodies of the androids as they scurried around readying the hub. Shuqba and Alida went into the staffroom to drink hot chocolate and eat cricket-flour pancakes.

  ‘Have you heard anything from Graycie yet?’ Alida couldn’t help herself – she’d asked Shuqba this every day since Graycie had gone into plastic-land.

  ‘Not yet. I’ve asked my commander to make inquiries. She’s preoccupied with the Rewilders massing in the inner burbs though.’

  ‘Those jerks.’ Everyone was worried about the Rewilders. Fires had been spied in abandoned buildings. There were rumours that Freel had sent his goons out to push their weight around, but when the goons rocked up the Rewilders had disappeared like ghosts.

  ‘As soon as I find out anything about Graycie I’ll alert you. Have you had any more thoughts about your future?’

  Alida sighed theatrically. Shuqba mothered her. She couldn’t deny she liked that someone gave a shit. Shuqba had been hassling her to download a teacher education package on her implant. There weren’t many qualified teachers in the Demi-Settlements and the education package was out of most people’s budget. She didn’t tell Shuqba about her message to Zaneela. It was a loopy plan anyway. Shuqba’s idea of being a teacher was more sensible.

  ‘I better have a wash and change.’

  ‘Sure.’ Shuqba tipped up her mug and drained the last of her hot chocolate.

  Alida walked into the staff bathroom. ZAVE scrolled across her IntelliEnhance vision panel.

  She connected.

  ‘Al!’

  ‘Yep. How are ya, Zee?’

  ‘I’m okay, I’m okay. I wanted to get in touch. I heard you’ve been having a rough time.’

  ‘You did?’ Alida stripped off her threads.

  ‘Yeah, I heard about Graycie.’

  ‘Yep.’ She was glad the voice in her mind didn’t wobble like her real voice would’ve. ‘I really miss my little bird. I’m not sure I did the right thing.’

  She stepped into the shower. Water stroked her skin like tiny silver fingertips, washing away her stresses for a second.

  ‘She’s in Candyland now. She’s the luckiest kid in the world,’ Zave said.

  Alida smiled. What would Zave think if she told him she could soon be in Candyland too?

  The shower cycle ran down and the water stopped. Alida stepped out and entered the body dryer. She closed her eyes against the jolt of heat and light.

  ‘If there’s anything I can do for you, tell me, okay?’

  ‘Cheers, Zave. Maybe we could hang out sometime soon.’ Anxiety filled her as she made the offer. She couldn’t take a rejection from him. If he didn’t have time for her now, after knowing what she was going through, then maybe he really had changed and their friendship was totally over.

  ‘Yeah. You call and I’ll be there.’

  Tears pricked her eyes. Good old Zave. If she became a Citizen she might never see him again. She wasn’t ready to give up on him yet.

  Alida faced the mirror and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She smiled at her reflection. It looked fake. One of Mum’s nicknames for her had been Smiley. She wasn’t that person anymore.

  ‘Cheers, Zee. We’ll hang out soon.’ She disconnected.

  Her face in the mirror looked so much older than it had just a few weeks before. Her cheeks had hollowed and the skin under her eyes was dark and pouchy. As a Citizen she’d have access to skin-perfecting functions on her HealthSentinel; with the antiageing tech it would be decades before she looked any older than she did now. Maybe they even had the tech to
reverse the damage this life had done to her. As a Citizen she’d have reasons to smile for real again. She’d have Graycie. Zave would understand. She opened up the message she’d composed for Zaneela and hit send.

  Alida slipped into her hub uniform.

  The voice of BIS filled the bathroom. ‘The hub is now on security alert. Stand by for orders.’

  ‘What’s happening, BIS?’

  There was a loud boom. The walls and floor shook and the lights dimmed for a second. Something clattered and collapsed on the other side of the bathroom wall. Dust fell from the ceiling. Alida held out her hands. Dust didn’t exist in the hub. LeaderCorp didn’t tolerate dust.

  The mind-squeezing blare of an alarm rang out and adrenaline spread through her. More shit was going down.

  ‘Hub has been breached. Please retreat to the garage for emergency evacuation.’

  ‘Hell.’

  She bolted to the bathroom door, imagining Shuqba squished by a wall.

  Maybe she was cursed. Maybe Odeene had cursed her. Bad things seemed to happen to everyone she cared about. She opened the door. Her brain turned to pounding waves of mush and she collapsed to the floor.

  CHAPTER 31

  Shuqba put her feet up on the staffroom table and watched a live feed from one of LeaderCorp’s border wars on her OmniScreen while BIS, the androids and service bots set up the hub for the day.

  ‘Security alert, Officer Shuqba,’ BIS said.

  Shuqba took her feet off the table and stood up. ‘What’s the situation, BIS?’

  ‘An unidentified non-Citizen is using boltcutters on the rations queue gate. I have deployed the sonic weapon and an android is en route to secure the gate.’

  ‘Show me.’ Shuqba picked up her OmniScreen.

  The screen showed the gate wide open and a crowd of people writhing on the ground, hands clamped to their ears. She should have anticipated an incident. There’d been a larger crowd than usual, and a lot of unfamiliar faces. She’d become lax, too interested in socialising with Alida. Getting too close to folk is dangerous, Karain used to say.

  On screen a female wearing some kind of ear protection darted into the frame and discharged a folding machine gun at the android attempting to secure the gate. The android fell onto its back, wheels spinning in the air.