Dead of Winter_Aspen Falls Novel

by Melissa Pearl

  That uncomfortable silence descended again. Rosie felt bad, so she sniffed and softly murmured, “I’m sorry your dad’s sick.”

  “He should be better soon. Thankfully, he’s only teaching part-time at the college now, so he’s got some days to recover.”

  The college. Professor Hartford.

  Rosie nodded as she conjured up an image of the man. She wondered if he still had that beautifully trimmed beard. He was one of those men that made facial hair look good.

  Wait.

  The college. The girl in the snow.

  She winced.

  “Does he know about…?” She couldn’t even finish her sentence, but Blaine knew what she was referring to.

  She glanced his way, her heart twisting at the pained look on his face. “Yeah. He didn’t know the victim, but he’s still pretty shaken. Everyone is.”

  They slowed to a stop at the intersection and Blaine turned to study her.

  She couldn’t hold his gaze, worried that he’d read her too easily. That he’d figure out she was running away because she knew about little blue pills.

  “How’d you hear about it?” Blaine accelerated forward.

  With his eyes back on the road, Rosie managed to find her voice again. “Read it in the paper.”

  Blaine let out a resigned sigh. “Jarrett sure knows how to get those stories out quickly.”

  “Do cops really hate reporters as much as they do on TV or in the movies?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” Blaine laughed, then shook his head. “Jarrett’s not too bad. He tends to print the truth, but it just bugs me that he always wants to be the first to say it. I’m aware that people have the right to know what’s going on, but sometimes I wish he’d sit on things for a few days, give us a chance to get the investigation really humming before the worried public start calling.”

  “I bet the phone lines were buzzing today.”

  “Oh yeah. Thanks to Jarrett. The guy always goes the extra mile and does his research…reveals things that maybe we don’t want the public knowing about yet.”

  Rosie tensed. “You mean those pills?”

  “Uh, yeah. I mean, we don’t know for sure if that’s what killed her. Jarrett just put that in there as a warning, really. It’s just speculation. He said that in the article.”

  “I just kind of skimmed it.” She shrugged and scrambled for ways to shift the conversation back to nicer things, like sweet guys taking soup to their sick fathers.

  “Well, we’re working as fast as we can to uncover the truth.”

  “Bet you guys work really hard, don’t you?”

  “We do our best.” His kind brown eyes lit over her and she felt an unexplained warmth.

  Her lips twitched with a smile. “You going to catch these drug guys?”

  “We’re sure as hell gonna try.”

  The way he said it, with such determination and confidence, nearly made her blurt the truth right then.

  I think I might know a guy who could be linked to this. I could help you.

  But what if she was wrong? She didn’t know how prevalent those pills were. Maybe that was what all ecstasy pills looked like. It wasn’t like she’d ever seen one before. Hell, she hadn’t even known that was what she’d been looking at when she first found the Ziploc bag in the bathroom. The only way she figured out exactly what those little blue pills were was after she read Jarrett’s story.

  She swallowed, because another thought weighed just as heavily on her mind.

  What if sending the cops to Brookvale would lead Damien or Chester right back to Aspen Falls?

  And right to her?

  Her breath hitched and she held it, hoping Blaine hadn’t noticed.

  He didn’t react as he concentrated on pulling his car around the back of Lulu’s.

  “You know I live here?” Rosie’s eyebrows flickered.

  Blaine grinned. “Louanne and my dad are friends.”

  “Of course they are,” she muttered, unable to suppress the grin that was forming.

  Pulling the car to a stop, Blaine put the car in Park to keep the heater running. His jacket rustled as he turned to face her. “Where were you going tonight, Rosie?”

  His voice held so much care and concern, it filtered into her system like soft tendrils that held her in place. She wanted to answer him, to lay it all bare, but…

  She gave him a pained frown and shook her head.

  He shifted with a soft sigh, running his gloved finger over the top of the steering wheel. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

  Her mouth went dry and all she could do was stare at him.

  The corner of his mouth twitched, his smile kind of sad when he looked at her. “I’m the guy whose life you saved. That day by the waterfall, when I nearly…” He swallowed and squeezed the back of his neck.

  “I remember,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she shone him a proud smile. “Look at you. You became a cop.”

  “I was just doing what you told me to.” His grin accentuated the squareness of his chin.

  Rosie smiled back, her insides buzzing with warmth. She wasn’t used to the feeling. It kind of unnerved her, but not enough to move. Instead the truth popped out before she could stop it.

  “I actually recognized you the other day…when I served you coffee.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  She let out a self-deprecating laugh and scratched the side of her beanie. “I was embarrassed. You…you’ve made something of your life. You’re strong and confident. You’re helping people. I’m just… I drive a car that likes to break down on a regular basis. I had to borrow money from Louanne in order to buy a jacket. I have a four-year degree and I’m struggling to make coffee in a job that was given to me out of charity.” She swiped a tear off her face and sniffed again. “I’m such a loser, Blaine. How was I ever supposed to admit that the beautiful, popular girl from high school had fallen to the bottom of the trash heap?”

  “Wow.” Blaine blinked. “You, um…” He licked his lips and then let out a breathy, surprised laugh. “I don’t see you that way all. I don’t think I ever could.”

  His words made her throat swell and she struggled to speak. “You don’t know me anymore. You don’t know what I’ve become.”

  He gazed at her, his smile warm with affection. “You’re right…kind of. I don’t know what you’ve been doing or what you’ve been going through since high school. I don’t know why you’re in this place right now, but Rosie, that doesn’t change who you are on the inside. To me, you’ll always be the kind, compassionate person who cared enough to follow me into the forest that day. You’ll always be the pretty girl with the sweetest laugh, and the brightest smile. The one who maybe didn’t have the courage to stand up for the little guy, but you didn’t bully them either.” His deep voice dropped to a soft whisper. “I used to watch you all the time. The kindness you showed in the background. The smiles you gave, the soft words of assurance. You weren’t like the jerks you hung out with.”

  “I shouldn’t have hung out with them. I should’ve stood up and said something, but I was scared of…”

  “Losing your status, I know. I understood that.” He nodded.

  “Why aren’t you judging me right now?” She winced. “You have every right to.”

  “I know your heart.” He shrugged. “I know that life can beat us up and make all the good stuff go into hiding, but underneath it all—all the fear and the self-doubt—under that, the good stuff remains, just biding its time…waiting to break free. You’ll find your courage, Rosie Sweet. You’re strong enough to wade through whatever crap you’re facing, and then you’ll come out the other side, and that beautiful heart of yours will still be there.”

  Her insides were so thick with emotion she could barely breathe. She’d never had someone talk so nicely to her before. He believed in her. He was sitting there believing in her. No one did that. Not even her.

  “You think too highly of me, Officer Hartfo
rd.”

  He grinned. “I guess a part of me will always be that love-struck teenager.”

  His expression faltered as he realized what he’d just said. It was kind of cute watching him recover, and Rosie’s warm heart nearly burst with a new kind of affection for him.

  He cleared his throat and actually jumped when his phone dinged with a message.

  Rosie let out a soft giggle, which made Blaine snicker.

  He reached for his phone. Reading the screen, his smile faltered, his eyebrows cresting with what she thought was sadness before he glanced up at her.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Uh, yeah, just my…my girlfriend,” he whispered.

  It was an effort to force a smile, but somehow Rosie managed. She shouldn’t feel disappointed. Of course Blaine had a girlfriend—he was the nicest man in the world.

  With her breath on hold, Rosie pushed her door open.

  “You take care, sweet Rose.”

  She glanced back at Blaine’s smile and grinned. “Thanks for saving me tonight.”

  “Always. I owe you, right?” He winked, but she countered his playful expression with words she meant from the bottom of her buried heart.

  “You’ll never owe me anything, Blaine Hartford. I did the world a huge favor that day.”

  They stared at each other. It was a look deep with meaning, and it made getting out of his car that much harder. But Rosie forced herself to blink and jump out. Shutting the door, she reminded herself that Blaine had a good life. He didn’t need her coming in and screwing everything up.

  She walked carefully across the icy concrete, remembering her fall from earlier. Her bruised knee still ached. Blaine’s headlights guided her way, and she stopped at the door and waved goodbye, forcing a smile as he drove off.

  She couldn’t figure out whether she wanted to smile at his kind words or cry at the fact that she’d never be worthy of a guy like Blaine.

  He’d changed so much since that day by the waterfall…and he held her responsible.

  He shouldn’t.

  She didn’t deserve that kind of accolade.

  While she’d been falling into disrepair, Blaine had been building himself up, working his ass off to become a man that any girl would be lucky to have.

  Pulling the door open, she gazed up at the stairwell, the fear from earlier rising over her again. She’d meant to run from this place. Just because Blaine had made her forget for a moment didn’t mean Chester and Damien wouldn’t still find her in Aspen Falls.

  Looking over her shoulder, she stared into the bleak parking lot and had to face the fact that there was nothing she could do right then. She needed to get upstairs, get warm and go to sleep.

  Maybe in the morning her head would be clear enough to think up a new escape plan. But with no car, she wondered just how far Louanne’s money could take her. She couldn’t bail before her first paycheck. Shit, she probably couldn’t bail before her first few!

  All she could hope was that Damien and Chester wouldn’t figure out where she was.

  She just needed a little more time.

  But would they give it to her?

  No. The second they knew where she was they’d be there—demanding, hurting, dragging her away.

  Who’d be there to save her?

  No one.

  Because she’d spent most of her adult life running away when things got too hard…writing people off and moving on.

  Because she was a coward who couldn’t tell the truth.

  And the one guy she was tempted to share it with was taken by the luckiest girl in the world.

  15

  Six years earlier

  Friday, April 13th

  4:15pm

  It was Rosie.

  Rosie Sweet.

  Was he imagining it?

  The gun in Blaine’s hand felt heavy and out of place as he stood there staring at the apparition. Her long hair floated in the breeze as she stared at him, the panic clear on her face.

  “Blaine, please don’t.” Her voice trembled.

  He looked down at the gun, wrapping his fingers more tightly around the handle as he resisted the urge to cry.

  His shame was a thick blanket around him. They’d seen him naked. He couldn’t sink any lower.

  “I can’t go back. I can’t face it.” He blinked at the stinging tears. “This is the only way for it to end.”

  “No, it’s not.” Rosie stepped forward and he jerked back, his foot slipping on the wet rocks.

  The water rushed behind him.

  He glanced over his shoulder at the drop.

  He’d no doubt survive.

  That’s why jumping hadn’t been an option.

  The gun was a necessity. One shot and he’d fall.

  He would disappear. Forever.

  “Blaine, look at me.”

  Rosie’s voice called him back and he slowly turned to squint at her.

  The sun was bright above them, the rays piercing the sparse canopy of leaves. The blue sky was a stark contrast to the dark storm of emotions in his chest.

  “You don’t have to do this. There are other ways out.”

  “How?” he whispered. “You don’t understand.”

  “There’s only two months left, and then you’ll be free of these assholes. You can do it.”

  “I can’t.” He sucked in a ragged breath and lost his battle to the tears. Covering his eyes with his hand, he let out a pitiful wail. “I can’t do it anymore.”

  “I know it’s hard.” Rosie’s voice was raw. She sounded like she was crying too. “They’re horrible to you and you don’t deserve it, but if you shoot yourself right now, they’ll win.”

  “I don’t care. They can win.”

  “No!” Rosie’s shout made Blaine’s eyes pop open.

  He dropped his hand and gaped at her.

  “You can’t let them win! What does that mean for the next victim they target? Are you saying that everyone who gets tormented should just kill themselves?” Her wild gaze had him transfixed. “What about strength and resilience?”

  “I don’t have those things.”

  “Yes, you do! You have lasted for four years at Aspen High. Four years with those jerks hounding you. You’ve survived. You can’t give up this close to the finish line.”

  “How do I go back?” Blaine stared at her, his cheeks streaked with tears. “They crossed a line today.”

  “Yeah.” Rosie’s expression crumpled. “Yeah, they did. And they’ll get in trouble for it, and you’ll walk back into school tomorrow with your head held high. And you’ll ignore all the laughter and all the teasing, because in two months, you’ll be free. You’ll graduate and you’ll—”

  “Do what?” Blaine snapped, gripping the gun. “I’m a loser. I’ll be a loser for life.”

  “No, you won’t, because you’re not a loser now.” She pointed at him. “You’re strong and you’re gonna become someone they fear.” She was making it up as she went along. He could tell by the way she was struggling to get out the words and the pop of her eyes when an idea hit her. “I know what you should do. Become a cop. You become the best damn cop in Aspen Falls, and then you can arrest their sorry asses, because guys like Taylor and Howard Eckland the freaking second are gonna screw up. And you’ll be there. The strong, amazing Officer Blaine Hartford.”

  She finished her speech with a stunning smile that made his heart turn. She’d always had that effect on him. She could turn his insides to putty without even looking at him, but to have her full attention directed at him was like a power surge through his system.

  He let out a broken snicker. “You want me to become a cop?”

  “Yeah.” She swallowed. “I want you to.”

  “And what will you do?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but I’ll start by breaking up with Taylor. I know it’s not much, but it’s something, right?”

  “It’s everything,” Blaine whispered, so softly she probably couldn’t hear hi
m. Whether she would or not remained to be seen, but the fact that she was considering it gave him hope.

  It was a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time.

  But it was more than that. She thought he could be more than what he was. She saw something that no one else did.

  He wished he could have a shot with her, but he knew he never would. In two months she’d be gone, just the way she always talked about.

  Two months.

  Two more months of hell.

  He gazed back down at the gun, his stormy insides surging.

  And then a hand landed on his. It was soft and delicate, gently prying the gun from his weakening grip.

  Before he could say anything, she threw it over the waterfall.

  He turned and watched it disappear.

  Tiredness suddenly swamped him, weakening his knees. He started to buckle, but then caught himself.

  “It’s okay,” Rosie whispered, wrapping her arms around him. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  He clung to her, sobbing like a baby, gripping her shirt like she was the only thing holding him steady.

  She let him cry, rubbing his back and murmuring over and over, “It’s going to be okay.”

  When his tears had subsided, she stepped back.

  Although he should have felt ashamed of his tears, the experience had only strengthened him. He suddenly felt tall beside her. He’d always been the weedy kid with more bone than muscle, but for the first time ever, he was aware of his height.

  With a sweet smile, Rosie took his hand and led him away from the waterfall and out of the forest.

  She didn’t let go until they reached the street again. In a moment of awkward silence, they shared a smile, and then she turned and walked away.

  His savior.

  The ever-beautiful Rosie Sweet.

  16

  Wednesday, February 21st

  6:20am

  Sleeping the night before had been nearly impossible. He couldn’t stop dreaming about Rosie as he tossed and turned beside Erin. Because he’d gotten back to his apartment so late, she’d decided to stay the night, something she expressed regret over in the morning.