by Carré White
I’d gone to use the privy, which was nothing more than a bush. On the way back, I encountered Pastor Bailey, who sat on a rock, holding a blade of grass between his teeth. At his feet were pretty purple flowers, which were more than likely weeds.
“How are you?” he asked.
“I’m fine, and you?”
“It’s been an interesting journey.” His smile was appealing.
“She’s showing her immaturity today. I’m sorry if that was uncomfortable.”
He got to his feet. “Nothing’s been the same since you came to town.”
I blinked. “Pardon?”
“Somebody a while back warned me this might happen. He said those Hoffman sisters have a way of getting under your skin. He suggested I give them a wide birth. I married Hannah and Nathan, you know.”
“I…yes.”
“I christened their baby, and I christened Paulina’s baby. I married Louisa as well, lest I forget.” His smile was huge. “You ladies have kept me rather busy.”
“Should I apologize?”
“Not at all.”
Where was he going with this? He had grown even more handsome from just this morning, even with dust on his face and damp stains under his arms.
“I’ve been trying to think of a way out for a while now. Ever since you railed at me about being stuck with five children.” He grinned. “What did you say again?”
“I can’t remember.”
“You said I was the worst preacher you ever met.”
Color flooded my cheeks. “I was angry, sir.”
“I’ve never had a woman scream at me like that before. You were beyond angry. You were livid.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I thought you had a particular fire. Now I’m wondering if it’s passion.”
“I overheard your conversation earlier.” I shouldn’t ask this, but I wouldn't be able to stop myself. “You said your affections were already spoken for.”
“They are.”
Did he have to be so cryptic? “Congratulations.”
“That would be a bit premature. I’m not certain the sentiment is reciprocated.”
“I see. Perhaps if you were to tell her how you feel, you might get an answer.”
“That is the plan.”
I had hoped it would be me, but doubt suddenly descended. He seemed far too serious now; his smile had faded. “Do you need my advice then?”
“About what?”
“How to proceed. How to tell her that you…you’re fond of her.”
“I’m more than fond. I’d get down on one knee, if I had a proper ring.” He patted his pockets. “But I don’t at the moment.”
“That’s quite serious then.”
“It is.” He grinned, surprising me. “My mother would say I’ve lost my mind, especially that I’d be willing to saddle myself with five children.”
My eyes flew wide. “Jack!”
“Yes?”
“It’s me?”
“Of course it’s you, but I have no idea how you feel. That kiss earlier…it was the first real hope that maybe you didn’t hate me anymore.”
“I don’t hate you.” My heart hammered in my chest. He had just confessed his feelings.
Something smoldered in his gaze, as he grasped my arm. “I think we should test the waters one more time. Maybe it was just blind luck.”
“What was?”
“The kiss.”
“Sir!” I giggled, relishing the idea of being in his arms again.
“Shush. This will be a sort of scientific experiment. We should have a lot of these, actually.”
I was seeing an entirely different side to him now—the playful, teasing side, which I realized I adored. I was in his arms; his lips were on mine, smoothing out whatever rough edges had been left, replacing them with the knowledge that I would be his wife…as soon as he asked me to marry him. Our lips had fused in a sweet, soft kiss.
“Again?” Nathan stood several feet away. “Honest to God.” He looked chagrined. “I wasn’t gone more than three minutes. Shame, shame.”
Pastor Bailey and I separated, but guilty smiles remained. “I do beg your pardon,” he intoned, staring at me. “I…tried to resist temptation.”
“Don’t bother,” chortled Nathan. “You’re good as hooked. I knew it the moment we hit the trail yesterday.” He slapped him on the shoulder. “You’ve made a fine choice.”
His arm was across my back possessively, and I had no wish to dislodge it, but I knew we would have to leave soon. “I guess I should…um…get back on my horse.” I made a move to step by him, but he pulled me near, his lips grazing my temple. The affection he now displayed left me wishing we were already married.
Nathan shook his head. “Worse than I thought.”
Jane was on her horse, having trotted over. “What’s happening?”
“We're headin’ out, darlin’, once these two quit canoodling.”
She eyed me. “Are you well, Fanny? Your face is all red.”
“I’m just fine.” Jack assisted me onto my mount. “Thank you.” His hand lingered around my waist.
Seeing us together displeased Jane, but she seemed to take it in stride. “I want to go faster please. I’m tired of being out here. I’m hungry.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Nathan, tilting his hat towards her. “Let’s make some time, folks.”
I glanced at Jack. “After you.”
“No, you first. I’ll bring up the rear. The view’s better back here anyway.”
That sent a rush of pleasure through me, as I spurred the horse forward.
Chapter Fourteen
We arrived at Hannah’s house near sunset. I had expected Pastor Bailey to return to Denver City, but he had accompanied us to the farm, which pleased me endlessly. Jane’s dramatics had brought us together; the animosity that I had felt towards him had transformed into something else entirely.
Mother ran out to greet us, followed by Hannah and father, who had one hand on his hip, his expression relieved. “I’m glad you found her.”
Hannah scowled. “If you ever pull something like that again, you’ll have to find someone else to rescue you.”
Jane dismounted; her hair had come loose, falling down her back. Her bonnet was filthy and flattened. She looked like a wilted flower. “I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me. If it’s any consolation, I had a dreadful time. I won’t do that again, I swear.”
Mary and Susanna ran out followed by the boys. “Jane! You’re back!” cried Mary. “What happened to you?”
“Did you see any Indians?” asked Peter.
“We thought you were dead,” said Susanna.
“I’m not dead.” She hugged her siblings. “I…just did something stupid is all. I’m sorry I caused so much worry.”
Hannah glanced at me. I stood before Jack, his hand on my shoulder. He couldn’t seem to stop touching me, which left me elated. Her look was questioning, yet there was a joyful glimmer in her eye. She must have sensed the change, just as Nathan had.
“Well, come inside,” said mother. “There’s food leftover from supper. You must be starving.”
I turned to look at Jack. “Are you staying for supper?”
“I’d like that, but I need to wash my hands and use the privy.”
“So do I.”
“I want to talk to you later…alone.”
That sent a thrill through me. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Dinner was a joyous occasion, although everyone had already eaten. Hannah and Nathan and my parents joined us in the dining room, while the children were in the parlor with Letty, the toddler playing with blocks on the floor. George was beneath the table, the dog sniffing my leg occasionally. I fed him small portions of chicken when no one was looking. Jack sat next to me, his manner easy and relaxed, especially after a second glass of wine. Nathan indulged in whiskey, grinning at his wife, who seemed amused.
“Well, things seem to have fallen into place rather nicel
y,” Hannah said.
“I’d say so.” Nathan dropped his napkin on the table. “Excuse me.”
“I was worried when you didn’t come home last night,” said mother. “I had visions of bears and Indians.”
“We didn’t see either.” A glass of wine was in my hand. “Here’s to a successful rescue.”
“Here, here,” agreed Hannah.
“Might I have some wine?” asked Jane.
“I think she can have a glass,” said father.
Jack poured the burgundy fluid for her, stopping at the midway point. “Give that a try.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, my darlings,” said mother. “It’s late. I’m getting ready for bed. Your father and I are going to town early to check on a shipment of wood. I’m excited to finally begin the house.”
“Once you have everything you need, the building won’t take long,” said Hannah. “We’ve several strong men in our midst.” She smiled at Pastor Bailey. “You’ll be able to help, won’t you?”
“I suppose I might have to.” He sipped his drink, the edges of his eyes crinkling.
Mother glanced at me, and then Jack. “Well, for just having escaped from near-disaster, things are quite jovial tonight.”
Knowing that my feelings for Jack were returned left me with a sense of expectation and wonder. He had become even more handsome in the space of a few hours, which wasn’t humanly possible, but, in my eyes, he was by far the most appealing man I had ever seen.
“I hate to have to go, but it’s late.” He left his napkin on the table. “The food was wonderful. Thank you.”
Nathan appeared. “Goin’ already? I’d offer you a bed in the bunkhouse, but the boys are in there.”
“That’s fine.” He glanced at me. “I’d like a word with Fanny first, if I may?”
“Certainly.” Nathan’s smile betrayed his amusement. “Where do you want to have this discussion?”
“Out front is fine.” His hand was on my lower back. “Excuse us.”
He led me from the house into the coolness of evening. The home was across from the bunkhouse with a dirt and gravel road separating the two. The moon shone overhead, but it was mostly hidden behind a patch of clouds.
I was curious about what he wanted to say to me, but, as we wandered over to his horse, he drew me into his arms. “Jack?”
“Just a little goodbye kiss.”
His arms went around me, his mouth meeting mine. I sighed blissfully, enthralled by how wondrous it was to be the center of his attention and the focus of his affection. My hands slid up his chest to his neck, where my fingers drove through silky hair. I’d closed my eyes, giving into the realm of feeling, memorizing every blissful second of the encounter. We were near a split rail fence, and he moved towards it, leaning against it, while our lips communicated in a dance as old as time. When I thought he would pull away, he held me even tighter; his heated, ragged breath was in my ear.
“I’m not sure what happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was going to talk to you…not seduce you…but it seems to be all I can think about. I must be suffering from prairie madness.”
My face was in his neck. “I wish you didn't have to go.”
“There’s no way I could stay knowing you’re here. I need to find a preacher, but I am the preacher.”
“What would you need a preacher for?”
He held my face, his thumbs rubbing over my cheeks. “I would really like to marry you.”
A burst of pleasure erupted in my tummy. “Is that so?”
“What am I going to do with five kids? Where would I put them?”
“Well, Jane will probably find a husband soon, so there are only four kids.”
“She’s too young for that. She needs to mature before she can take that very adult step, Fanny.”
“That is true.”
“Where would we live? I’ve been thinking about this for hours, wracking my brain. My apartment doesn’t have the room. I have to live near town to be able to work. The children need to go to school.”
“Maybe we’ll build closer to town? My sister, Paulina lives nearer.”
“I need to be even closer than that.”
“We’ll find something.”
“I’m not a rich man, Fanny. I can’t afford to build something grand.”
“I don’t care for grand. I just want us to be together.”
“But then you’ll have more children. It’s almost like managing a zoo.”
“That’s for animals,” I laughed.
“It’s insane!” He raked fingers through his hair. “I’m stark-raving mad to even consider this.”
“Let’s not worry about it now. My parents are building a house, and the children will be with them for a while. Jane has some growing to do, but I think she’s made great strides. She knows running away was a mistake. She won’t do that again.” I smiled at the look on his face. “As for me having children…that sounds…nice.”
Something flared in his eyes. “I have to marry you first. I can’t perform the ceremony, Fanny. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“Are there any preachers in the mountains? There are other towns, aren’t there?”
“I suppose, or the justice of the peace. Now that the courts have been set up and judges appointed, I suppose someone there could marry us.” He smiled. “I never thought I would have this problem.”
“What problem?”
“I didn’t expect to be married.”
“Why not?”
“I’m naturally, horribly shy, Fanny. I don’t attend socials. I don’t court ladies. I’m…not very good at it. I can stand in front of my parishioners on Sunday and preach, my sermons are planned in advance, but I lose courage when it comes to…other things.”
A smile stole across my face. “How can you say that? All you do now is kiss me every chance you get. I find your defense of shyness impossible to believe.”
“It’s true. Your openness brought me out of my shell. You attacked me every time we met.”
“I had just inherited five children. How was I supposed to act?”
“I’m glad you are the way you are, Fanny, otherwise I would’ve ended up an old and lonely man. Now, because of you, there will never be a shortage of disasters. I can see drama well into the future. Just wait until Mary is ready to marry and Susanna. The boys are easy in comparison.”
We stood in such a way that I leaned into him; his hands were at my waist. It was wildly inappropriate, but we were alone.
“Okay, so you’re thinking of marrying me, but there isn’t anyone to marry us and there’s no place for us to stay. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve not properly asked me to marry you. Are you going to blame that on shyness as well?”
He touched my face. “No, just a lack of manners and extreme tiredness. I’m exhausted.”
“Then we can wait for another time.”
“No.” He shook his head, dropping to one knee, while gazing at me. “Will you marry me, Fanny Hoffman?”
“I do believe I will, Jack Bailey. Mrs. Fanny Bailey has a nice ring to it.”
He stood, drawing me into his arms. “It does. I should’ve asked your father’s permission first. You make me forget everything.”
“You can ask him another time. I don’t mind multiple proposals.” He chuckled at that. “I wish we had a preacher.”
“So do I. I’ll investigate it tomorrow.”
My chin rested on his shoulder. “Do you really have to go back to town?”
“Yes.”
His hand rubbed my back. “Let’s keep it all in mind then.”
“What?”
“The marriage and everything. I have to think about how I’m going to provide for everyone. It’s not something I had to do before. I’ve never been responsible for anything other than myself.”
I met his gaze. “That’s fine. We have all the time in the world.”
/>
“Yes, but…” his look darkened…“I might not be able to follow my own good intentions.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want to be with you. My feelings seem to grow by the hour, which is rather alarming.”
“Then that will motivate you to find a solution. I’ll try to think of what we can do for housing.”
He shook his head. “I don’t plan to go long without being with you, Fanny. I know I preach about patience and virtue every Sunday, but that seems to fly out the window when I look at you.”
“I’m glad.”
Tension pinged between us, sweet and tempting, as his lips descended. The kiss burned hot instantly. The fire that had been smoldering ignited into something fierce and nearly out of control, but the clearing of a throat brought us back to the present. Nathan stood nearby with his hands on his hips.
“Just as I thought. You two can’t be left alone.” He grinned crookedly. “Is this hello or goodbye?”
“I need to go.” He touched my face. “I hope I see you tomorrow.”
“I’ll stop by after I take the children to school.”
“It better be at the church,” said Nathan. “And I suggest you’re not alone, unless you’re standin’ before a preacher.” He scratched his head. “If you plan on gettin’ married, who’s performing the ceremony?”
“That’s one of our issues,” said Jack.
“I’d be happy to do it for you, but I need a lotta whiskey first.”
“Thank you so much for the offer, but…er…I think we’ll decline.”
“Wise choice. Here, let me untie your horse.” Nathan moved past us, his boots crunching over gravel.
I gazed at Jack. “I guess this is goodnight then.”
Regret shone in his eyes. “Yes.”
“I…hate that we have an hour of distance between us.”
“It’s not ideal, but temptation being what it is, it’s probably for the best.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“I’m going to try not to count the hours, but I’m sure I will.”
“Me too.”
“Here she is. All saddled up and ready to go.” Nathan handed the reins over to Jack. His smile was annoyingly broad. “I suspect we’ll be seein’ more of the pastor now, eh?”