Maximum Rossi

by Paul W Papa

  “Well, how about dinner and a show,” I said. “On me.”

  “That would be swell,” Tina said. Her face lit up.

  If I had a girl with that smile and those eyes, I wouldn’t let her out of the house.

  “Wait here,” I said. “Let me see what I can do.”

  Nineteen

  I FOUND BOBBY two pits away watching over a craps table. I gave him the ins and outs and he said he would be delighted to help. Those were his words. I swear.

  “I don’t want a comp,” I said. “Just good seats.”

  “Nonsense,” Bobby said. “You let me take care of it. I’ll get you into the seven o’clock show. It’s a dinner show.”

  Good ol’ Bobby.

  “Where will you be?” Bobby asked.

  “I’m gonna take the kids over to the Silver Queen for a couple of drinks.”

  “I will find you there once I have made the arrangements.”

  The Silver Queen was a lounge inside the casino. It had a bar, seating, and a stage. Like the Copa Room, but much smaller. Freddy Bell and the Bell Boys were playing. I ordered a manhattan. Tony ordered scotch and soda, and Tina had some type of froufrou drink with an umbrella in it.

  “Geeze, Max,” Tony said after we took our seats. “You look like hell and you could do with a shave.”

  Tina slapped his arm. I liked a woman who defended my honor.

  “It’s all right,” I said. “I just stepped in front of a fist is all.”

  “Looks like more than one,” Tony said. That got him another slap.

  “Best be careful,” I said, “or we’ll end up looking like the Bobbsey Twins.”

  “Does that make me Nan or Bert?”

  “You’re Flossie,” I said.

  I asked about home and received the scoop. It didn’t sound like much had changed in the short time I was here.

  “You know, Tina,” I said. “I don’t really know much about you. Just that this guy got awful lucky when you said I do.”

  Tina smiled that smile of hers. “There’s not much to tell. I’m just a little old Italian girl. Grew up in Chicago, west side, off of Church Street. My family owns a small furniture business there.”

  “How’d you meet this mug?”

  “College,” she said.

  “We both attended Boston College,” Tony added. “She studied finance and I’m in accounting.”

  “Go Eagles,” I said.

  Tony held Tina’s hand as she spoke. It was nice to see the two of them together. They looked like a couple that would be around for a while. A family you wanted to be part of. If I had a heart, it would have been warmed. We’d been sitting there about twenty minutes when Bobby arrived.

  I made the introductions. “Bobby, this is Tony Cremonesi and his bride Tina. They’re here on their honeymoon.”

  “What a pleasure to meet you,” Bobby said and shook their hands. He turned to me. “All arrangements have been made, Mr. Rossi. You may take your guests to the Copa Room at your convenience. The show starts this evening at seven.”

  “You’re a doll, Bobby,” I said.

  “It is my pleasure, Mr. Rossi.” He turned to the couple. “I hope you enjoy your evening.”

  Tina stood and held out her hand a second time. “Thank you, Mr…”

  “Hill,” Bobby said.

  I had forgotten that part. My introductions needed work.

  “Thank you again, Mr. Hill,” Tina said.

  Bobby bowed slightly, turned, and left.

  Tina remained standing. She had an inquisitive look, like she was trying to remember where she left her keys.

  “Everything all right?” I asked.

  Tina turned and looked at us both. “He seems very familiar to me,” she said as she sat down. “Is he from Chicago?”

  I had to admit I had no idea where Bobby was from. It had never come up in conversation. I just assumed he was manufactured here at the Sands. “I don’t know from whence he hails,” I said.

  All I got in return was a “hmm” and a face that showed Tina was scouring her memory for placement.

  “Do you know him?” I asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Tina said. “But he sure looks familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen him before.”

  “You said that about the stewardess,” Tony said. He turned to me. “She was sure she was Natalie Wood researching a part.”

  “I guess that’s possible,” I said.

  “See,” Tina said in her defense. “That’s what I said.”

  “Possible, but not probable,” I added.

  “Oh boys, what do you know?” Tina said. She sat back in the chair, opened her purse, and pulled out a cigarette, the kind the women smoke. Tony pulled a lighter from his pocket and held a flame out to her. She took a deep puff and blew the smoke in the air. I wondered if Joi smoked like that.

  We sat there for a while enjoying the music and each other’s company. After a bit I took them over to the showroom where George Levine—a good New York Jew—greeted us. George had been the Maître d’hôtel of the Copa Room since its inception—and probably his. He was the gatekeeper. Not only did no one get into the Copa Room without George’s approval, he alone had complete control on where anyone sat. Prince and pauper alike.

  “Mr. Rossi,” George said. “It is so nice to see you.”

  George was the type of man who took your hand in both of his. That made it easier for you to transfer money discretely from your hand to his without concern of it dropping. Las Vegas was all about discretion. Who was I to change that? People like George made the transfer look easy. You’d have sworn he didn’t even know I had given him anything. His hand slipped into his pocket with a swiftness that would have made Houdini proud.

  “And this must be our newlyweds,” George said. He shook Tony’s hand, then kissed Tina’s. She was beaming. You gotta give Vegas credit. They sure knew how to make a guy feel important. George took us to our seats. They were right at the front table, center stage. I let Tony and Tina take the first seats on each side of the rectangular table which was perpendicular to the stage, meaning you had to twist your body slightly to see the show. Still, they’d have an unobstructed view. The only thing separating them from the performers were the stage lights.

  Performing with the Copa Girls tonight was Buddy Hackett—another good New York Jew. I had seen him one summer up in the Catskills, when I was chasing my own good Jewish girl around the trees—much to my mother’s dismay. I was pretty sure the kids would get a kick out of him.

  We ordered our drinks and Tina lit another of those thin cigarettes she smoked while we waited for the room to fill. It didn’t take long. When our waitress came back, we ordered our meals. I had the charcoal broiled prime sirloin steak, New York cut. The baked potato had a crispy, salted crust and a soft, smooth inside. It didn’t need the butter or the sour cream that came with it, but I added it anyway. I didn’t want to appear difficult.

  Tony had the braised Long Island duckling with pitted Montmorency black cherries and Tina had the minced tenderloin of beef sauté minute with peppers al la Deutsch. My two guests dined with a perpetual smile. It was nice to see. It was their honeymoon after all.

  The opening act was the Copa girls all dressed for a Hawaiian Luau, complete with grass skirts and coconut bras. I had never been to a luau, but I was starting to wonder what I was missing. As I watched the girls on stage, my eye went straight to Virginia. She was a marvelous dancer; gliding without effort across the stage, coming so close to the edge I don’t know how she didn’t fall off. She took a quick turn and her grass skirt spread out high and flat, revealing her full legs underneath. She was blessed with an abundance of legs; enough for two girls. They made me think things I had no business thinking.

  When the first act completed, Buddy Hackett came out on stage and began his routine. He welcomed everyone and thanked them for coming. Then he addressed Tina, specifically.

  “Well, aren’t you a sight?” he said. “Are you enjoying your meal?”


  He had caught Tina with a mouth full of food. All she could do was nod vigorously.

  Hackett mimicked her, much to the crowd’s delight. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices,” he said. “Take it, or leave it.” If Hackett had been Italian, those choices would have been eat it or wear it.

  Hackett continued his routine, involving members of the audience as much as possible; keeping them in stitches. I was right with them. Towards the end of his routine, he thanked the Sands and the staff in the room. Then he pointed out some of the celebrities in attendance and just when it looked like he was about to end, he moved over on the stage until he was in front of Tony and Tina.

  “We have a very special couple here tonight he said. They came all the way from Boston, Massachusetts just to spend their honeymoon with us. Tony and Tina. Everyone give them a hand.”

  He pointed to the couple and the spotlights turned to them. The crowd clapped.

  “Stand up,” Hackett said.

  They stood.

  “Which one’s Tony and which one’s Tina?” he asked.

  The crowd laughed.

  “Tony and Tina,” he repeated. “Sounds like a show. You kids having a good time?”

  “Very much so,” Tina said.

  Hackett mimicked her with a mouth full of food. The crowd roared. Tina laughed so hard I thought she would faint.

  “Seriously though folks,” Hackett said. “We’re glad you decided to celebrate with us and I wish you all the luck in your future.” He turned to Tony, “You’re gonna need it,” he said and mimicked a mouth full of food again. As the crowd showed their delight, Hackett bent down and shook Tony’s hand, then Tina’s. He said something to her, but I couldn’t hear it. Whatever it was, it made her smile.

  When he was done, the Copa Girls came back on stage. They didn’t have their luau costumes this time. Instead, they were dressed as flamenco dancers. All frills and ruffles. The girls danced and rumbaed across the stage and when it was all said and done, Virginia ended up right in front of our table. She looked down and our eyes met, only hers turned into saucers. She moved her head ever so slightly, like she was motioning to backstage. Just enough for no one to notice if they weren’t paying attention.

  But I noticed.

  Twenty

  “WOW! THAT WAS some show.” Tina said. As we waited for the room to clear.

  “It certainly was,” Tony agreed. “That Buddy Hackett is hilarious.”

  “And those dancers,” Tina added. “Weren’t they just beautiful? Have you ever seen anything like them in your life?”

  “Careful,” I told Tony. “Those answers seldom turn out well.”

  Tina laughed.

  When it looked like it was safe to move, we all got up and followed the crowd to the exit. Once we got into the casino, another idea struck me.

  “Hey, you two,” I said. “You don’t have a room for the night do you?”

  Tony lifted his hand to his mouth. “Oh, no!” he said. “I completely forgot about that.”

  Tina took hold of his arm. “Tony, what are we going to do?”

  I smiled. “I’ve got the perfect room for you,” I said. “You can have mine.”

  “Oh no, Max,” Tony said. “We couldn’t possibly do that. Where would you sleep?”

  “I’m renting a place downtown. I only have this room because it was comped to me,” I said. “It’s a suite. A real nice suite. Perfect for a honeymoon, or a circus. I’d be happy to show it to you if you give me a minute. I’ve got something I need to do first. Can you wait here?”

  “Okay,” Tony said. “But are you sure?”

  “Completely,” I said.

  I left Tony and Tina with the two largest smiles I’d seen in quite some time as I made my way back into the Copa Room. The waiters and waitresses were busy cleaning the tables and setting up for the next show. The second show wasn’t a dinner show, so most of the staff were off as soon as they got the room ready. That made them all the less inclined to notice me.

  I walked to the edge of the stage and jumped up onto the platform. It was higher than it looked from down below and I almost didn’t make it, landing awkwardly on my knees. I brushed myself off and headed backstage. The same guy, dressed in the same black slacks and tight turtleneck, from day before greeted me. He either didn’t recognize me, or didn’t care.

  “Hey Buddy, no one goes backstage,” the turtleneck said, extending his palm outward like a traffic cop.

  “I’m here to see one of the performers,” I said.

  “Aren’t we all?” he put his arm down and pointed to the casino. “You can just wait until the night is over. She’ll be mingling on the casino floor; you can see her then.”

  “I don’t think it can wait,” I said.

  The turtleneck stepped closer and looked at me from down his nose. “You a relative?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Then it can wait.”

  I was out of options. Smacking the guy in the beak didn’t seem like the right thing to do. Sure, it would get me backstage, but it would also cause a certain amount of grief for me and for Bobby. I certainly didn’t want that.

  “All right,” I said. “I guess it can wait.”

  I was about to turn and leave when someone called for me from behind the stage.

  “Mr. Rossi?”

  It was Virginia James. She was already out of costume and into a silk robe that hit her mid-thigh. It was a beautiful thigh at that.

  The turtleneck turned to her. “You know this guy?”

  Virginia nodded. “Can you give us a few minutes?” she said.

  “Just remember the next show starts in an hour.” The turtleneck gave me the eye as he walked past. He wanted me to know he was in charge. I didn’t mind.

  We both waited for him to leave. Virginia pulled a pack of smokes from one of the pockets in her robe. “Cigarette?” she offered.

  “No thanks. I never picked up the habit.”

  I took her book of matches and struck her a light. She placed the cigarette in her mouth, leaned in, and stuck it in the flame. She took a puff and shot the smoke out of the side of her mouth. I realized I was staring when the fire burnt my fingers. I shook the match out and tossed it.

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Why not what?”

  “Why not pick up the habit?”

  “I don’t know. I never got past the coughing. I tried a pipe once, but it didn’t suit me. Why did you call me here?”

  Virginia stood like I expected a dancer to stand. Light, as if doing so was effortless. It was strange to see her as she was. From the neck up she was still a performer, thick with stage make up. Eyelashes that almost poked me. Hair all done up. But from the neck down she was a different person entirely. The robe hung from her body, hugging it in all the right places. Not leaving much to the imagination. If she wasn’t naked underneath it, she was close enough. She kept the robe closed with one hand and held her cigarette in the other.

  She looked me up and down. “You look like hell,” she said.

  “Thank you for noticing,” I countered.

  She took a puff. “I half expected to see you last night,” she said.

  “I half expected to be there,” I said. “Only problem, I don’t know where ‘there’ is.”

  “You’re not much of a detective,” she said and took another puff. I felt a little like I was standing next to a choo choo train.

  “I’m not a detective at all.” I said. “I’m just trying to find my way out of a jam.”

  Virginia flashed me a look that told me she wanted to tell me something. Either that or she just wanted someone to light her cigarettes on demand. I wasn’t quite sure which. She suddenly clutched her arms around herself, as if she was cold.

  I waited.

  “Quite frankly I’m worried,” she finally said. “Jeanie’s been gone for two days with not even a whisper. It’s not like her.”

  “She never disappeared for a coup
le of days with Bilotti?” I asked.

  “Sure, you know how it is.”

  “Why don’t you tell me.”

  “She’d be gone a couple nights, but she’d always call to let me know she was all right.”

  “And you haven’t heard from her?”

  “I already said that.”

  “And you’re worried?”

  “Of course I’m worried. What are you? Some kind a broken record?”

  “You go through her effects?”

  Virginia dropped her cigarette hand to her side. “Of course not,” she said. “What do you take me for?”

  “A concerned friend,” I said.

  Virginia brought the cigarette back to her mouth. She took a deep breath and blew out the smoke through her bright red lips. I was beginning to envy that cigarette.

  “I thought you two didn’t share a room.” I said.

  She blew out more smoke. “So I lied to you, sue me.”

  “I doubt it would stick,” I said. “One look at you and the judge would throw the case right out.”

  Virginia gave me a hard smile. “So I’m guessing you haven’t found her then?”

  “Gone with the wind,” I confirmed.

  “Do you want to look through her things? Maybe you can find something I missed.”

  “That’s two lies now,” I said.

  She batted her eyes at me and my knees banged together. “You know how it is,” she said. “I’m off at midnight. Meet me here and you can follow me home.”

  “How about you give me the address now and I’ll just meet you there?”

  She flashed me a knowing smile. “Oh no,” she said. “I get the feeling you’re a sneaky one. I’m not sure you’d wait for me.”

  She was probably right. “Midnight it is,” I said.

  Twenty-One

  WHEN I GOT back to the casino Tony and Tina were waiting for me. “Everything all right?” Tony asked.

  “Peaches,” I said.

  I led them to the back of the casino and out to the grounds. I usually walked to my room, but I wanted to give them the full treatment, so we took the tram that ferried us to the suite.