For the Love of Annie

by Sabrah Huff Agee

  Her face flaming, Mary Louise sat up. She knew she shouldn't be pleased by Cooper's obvious response to her, but secretly, she was pleased— and flattered. But she mustn't let him know that! Heaven only knew what he'd think of her. She schooled her face into a haughty facade. "Honestly, Cooper, you're behavior is disgusting," she snapped as she reached to repair the pins in her hair. "Have you no shame?"

  Still smiling, he cut his eyes over at her. "I didn't plan to fall, you know. It was an accident."

  She looked over at him. "I know you didn't plan to fall, but the other— "

  "The other is something over which I have little control." The humor was gone from his eyes and his mouth formed a sneer. "Believe me, Miss Markham, you're the last person I would ever want to— " He closed his eyes. "Forget it happened, all right? I certainly will."

  Mary Louise looked away so that he couldn't see the hurt his words caused. She stood up and shook out her wrinkled skirts. Training her gaze on a spot above his left shoulder so as not to look at him, she said, "I'll help you get settled back in bed."

  "Don't bother," he retorted. "I can manage."

  She continued to avoid his gaze. "Fine." Then, without a second glance at him, she swept from the room.

  Cooper carefully eased off his pants and slipped back beneath the covers. Frowning, he stared up at the ceiling. What a fool he'd been to even consider the possibility of marriage to Mary Louise. If he'd had any doubts, what just happened proved it when she verbally slapped his face.

  So she found him disgusting, did she? He didn't know why that should have surprised him, she'd never done anything to suggest that she found him the least bit appealing. He just wished to God he felt the same about her. But damn it, every single time she came near him his body reacted like an untried youth's.

  Just now, when he fallen on top of her— and it had been an accident whether she believed it or not— he'd wanted to lie like that forever. She'd felt just right beneath him— her body aligned perfectly with his and for a few fleeting seconds he'd imagined how it could be without all those layers of clothes between them. And what did it get him? Nothing but an ache in his groin that had nothing to do with the gunshot wound and everything to do with her. He sighed. It was time to stop wishing for the impossible and get on with his life.

  MARY LOUISE sat on the little bed in Annie's room and chewed her knuckle while she mulled over all that had happened in Cooper's room. She couldn't believe that she had actually enjoyed the sensation of Cooper's body pressed over hers— and he'd liked being there, too, if his physical reaction were any indication. She probably shouldn't have said what she did, but she knew she had to get out of that room before she did or said something to give herself away. It was unfortunate that she always seemed to resort to haughtiness when she was embarrassed or flustered by something...or someone.

  Mary Louise sighed. And she'd offended Cooper— she'd seen the anger in his eyes and heard it in his voice when he said she was the last person he'd ever want to...To what? To kiss? To make love to? To care about? To love?

  In spite of her efforts to the contrary, Mary Louise gave in and had a good, long, cry. Once done, she blew her nose, wiped her eyes, and set her chin. It was time to face her situation squarely. All right, she thought, she'd done the unthinkable and fallen in love with a man who loved another. She didn't know how it happened— after all, she'd known the man for less than two weeks. What was it Papa used to say? Love comes on you in the wink of an eye and never leaves you till you die. She groaned. Dear God, what a depressing thought.

  Mary Louise stood up and began to pace. She'd always been repulsed by silly women of her acquaintance who wept and moaned over lost love. She would not be like them. If she set her mind to it, she was sure she could get over these feelings she had for Cooper Matthews. She'd do exactly as he had suggested. She would forget what had happened— just as soon as she figured out how.

  When Charlie Kilgore dropped by to visit, Mary Louise ushered him into the sick room and then announced she was leaving.

  Cooper glowered at her. "Where are you going?"

  "Out to get some air."

  "What for?"

  "I think I just told you. For some air."

  "There's air in here," he said petulantly.

  "Cooper, for heaven's sake. If I don't get out of this place for a little while I'm going to go crazy. You'll be fine with Charlie. I'm sure he can handle anything that comes up while I'm gone."

  Mary Louise thought she saw something spark in his eyes, but he only murmured, "You shouldn't go out alone."

  "I'm a big girl, Cooper. I'll be fine." She smiled at Charlie. "If you'd like a cup of tea, Charlie, I left the kettle warming on the stove and the tea pot's on the kitchen table."

  She started for the door when Cooper called out, "Don't be gone longer than an hour— do you hear me?"

  "Yes, Your Highness."

  "Harpy!"

  On her way out, Mary Louise stopped by the Sheriff's office to ask Deputy Simmons directions to Lizzie's home. Pleased to learn she lived only two blocks away, Mary Louise set off down the street. She didn't have any trouble finding the neat little cottage. Without hesitating, she knocked at the front door.

  "Who out there?"

  "Lizzie? It's only Mary Louise." The door opened a crack and Mary Louise smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't send word that I was coming. Frankly, I didn't know until just a few moments ago. I left Cooper with Charlie Kilgore and came out to get some air. I thought while I had the chance I'd come and see about you. Are you feeling better?"

  Lizzie opened the door wider. "I's better. How's Cooper?"

  "Cooper's healing nicely. I was just going crazy and needed to get away for a little while. Have I come at a bad time?"

  "Naw, I ain't doin' nothing. Come on in."

  "Thank you." Mary Louise stepped inside. Lizzie did seem better. She was wrapped in a shawl, and she still had a slight cough, but Mary Louise could see she was on the mend.

  "You want some refreshment?" Lizzie asked. "I got coffee on the stove."

  "Coffee would be perfect. Thank you, Lizzie."

  Lizzie went to fetch the coffee and while she was alone, Mary Louise looked around, trying to discern from her things something about the elderly black woman. The small parlor was cozy, filled with mementos— a gourd rattle, its paint worn away in spots, a pair of kid gloves, stiff with age, a small brass box, a walking stick with a silver knob, a picture of a small, white child with long dark curls and dressed in a long, lacy dress and slippers. Then, she spotted a shadowbox on the wall that held a bouquet of flowers woven of an unusual thread. Mary Louise leaned nearer to get a better look at the bouquet.

  "Them flowers is all I got left of the fambly— 'cept for Cooper."

  Mary Louise flinched guiltily and turned to find Lizzie standing in the doorway of the parlor. "I— It's lovely, did you do the work?"

  "Yeah, I did it." She joined Mary Louise and gazed at the object of her visitor's curiosity. Lizzie touched her finger to the glass. "That one there, the shiny black flower— that come from my first mistress. She was so young at the time she died— no more than seventeen. I was still a slave then. Her daddy bought me for her when I was six year old. I was twelve when she married the old massa, and come to Rose Hill— I was part of her dowry. I loved her very much and when she died I cut a lock of her hair and put it there to remember her by."

  Mary Louise looked at Lizzie. "You mean the flower is woven from hair?"

  "Uh— huh. They all is. They's a flower in there from ever member of the fambly. See that white one? The one what looks like a lily?"

  "Yes?"

  "That come from the ole' massa. He was eighty year old when he breathed his last. His hair was still thick and pretty— but it had done turned snow white by the time he passed on."

  "I don't understand, Lizzie. You talk as though you loved them."

  Lizzie glanced over her shoulder and frowned at Mary Louise. "I did love 'em."

&n
bsp; "How could you love the very people who made you a slave?"

  Lizzie chuckled softly. "Chile', they didn' make me a slave— that was done long time 'fore they was even born. It was just the way things was back then. It was all they knowed— all I knowed, too. And they wasn' like some of the white folk, they was good to me, took care of me. They fed me and clothed me and gave me a warm place to sleep. And in they own way, they loved me— and I loved them, too. I sho' did."

  "You don't think slavery is wrong?"

  Lizzie snorted. "'Course it's wrong! Always wrong for one body to own another. But I don't blame them peoples for it. Like I said, it was all they knowed. That's why I didn' leave Rose Hill after the war and why I kept on workin' for 'em like I always did. They was my fambly."

  Mary Louse picked up the picture of the baby in the long dress. "Who is this?"

  Lizzie grinned. "You don't know him?"

  Mary Louise's brows rose in surprise. "Cooper? This darling baby in the long dress is Cooper?"

  Lizzie laughed. "Sho' is. That picture was took on his second birthday."

  Mary Louise giggled. "I can't believe it. Why, he's pretty enough to be a girl. Would you look at those long curls."

  "He was a beautiful chile, all right. But, Lawd, he was all boy. Got into mischief all the time, but didn' hardly ever git no punishment for' it. He could wrap his papa 'round his finger— me, too." She laughed softly and shook her head. "Still can."

  Mary Louise sat down and sipped her coffee. "Was the woman who died— your first mistress— was that Cooper's mother?"

  "Lawd, no. That was Cooper's grandmama. Cooper's mama didn' die 'till he was 'bout eight years old."

  "Did she die in the war?"

  Lizzie's expression became guarded. "Naw, but it was the war that killed her."

  "I don't understand."

  "Miss Juliet was a strong willed woman, had a good head on her shoulders and her own ideas about thangs. She wasn't like most of the other women 'round here. She wasn't shy about speakin' her mind." Lizzie narrowed her eyes at Mary Louise. "She was a lot like you, matter of fact."

  "I'll assume you meant that as a compliment," Mary Louise responded dryly.

  Lizzie snorted her reply and then continued her story. "When the war broke out, Miss Juliet 'bout had a hissy— fit. She didn't want nothin' to do with no war. She said she wasn' about to stay someplace that some Yankee soldiers could come in and kill her in her bed. She demanded that Mister Luke take her and the chil'en to live with some of her kin in England. Well, Mister Luke wasn' fixin' to leave everthin' he had and go hie— tailin' it off across the ocean. They had a big row over it, and Mister Luke, he tol' Miss Juliet if she wanted to leave Rose Hill, to get on out. He tol' her if she did leave that she might as well stay in England, cause he didn' never want to see her again. Miss Juliet left a few days later.

  "Mister Luke wouldn't let her take his boys with her, wouldn't even let her tell 'em goodbye." Lizzie shook her head. "Rose Hill was a sad place after Miss Juliet left. It was like all the joy was gone out of it. Mister Luke wasn't ever the same after that, either. But it was them little boys who suffered the most. Max, he was twelve at the time, wouldn't talk to nobody, jus' kinda stayed off to himself. And Cooper, well, seemed like ever time I turned around he was gettin' into some kind of mischief. Miss Juliet had been gone about a year and a half when we got word that she was dead."

  "What happened to her?"

  "They said she was warmin' her hands at the hearth and her skirts caught on fire. Instead of staying still so the servants could put it out, Miss Juliet started runnin'. By the time they could catch her...well, she didn't live but a few hours."

  "Oh, the poor woman. Max and Cooper must have been devastated when they heard the news."

  "I was there when Mister Luke tol' 'em what had happened. I was expectin' 'em to cry or somethin', but they didn't say nothin', didn' shed a tear. They just walked out to the room and went on about they business like nothin' had happened. And as far as I know, they ain't never mentioned her name again." Lizzie sighed heavily. "I think that's part of Cooper's trouble. Ever since his mama left him, he keeps his feelin's all bottled up inside, like he's scared to let anybody see 'em. Max is the same way."

  "So that's how you came to be Cooper's second mama?"

  "Naw, Cooper was my baby long before Miss Juliet died. See, when Cooper was born, his mama couldn' nurse him— didn' have no milk. I'd just lost my own little baby just two days before and I had all this milk and nothin' to do with it. So, Mister Luke brought him to me. Lizzie, he say, my boy here is gonna starve to death less'n somebody feed him. Will you do it? I looked at that skinny, wrinkled, little baby and my heart jus' went out to him. He was so weak with hunger he couldn' hardly cry. I took that sweet baby in my arms and right then and there I fell in love with him. The Lord didn' see fit to give me no more babies after the one I los'. So, far as I's concerned, Cooper's my child— not my flesh and blood,' course— but my child all the same." She leveled her knowing gaze on Mary Louise. "Like Annie is Cooper's child."

  Mary Louise sighed and leaned back. "You don't have to plead his case, Lizzie. I know that Annie is Cooper's child in every way except by blood. I don't want to take her from him."

  "I's glad to hear that."

  Mary Louise leaned forward. "But I don't know what to do, Lizzie. I love Annie, too. I loved her before I even knew her— that's why I searched so long for her. You see, I raised my brother after our mother died. I didn't wet nurse him like you did with Cooper, but I did everything else for him. I couldn't have loved him any more if he'd been my own child."

  "I understand."

  "Then do you understand why I so desperately want to have a say in raising her?"

  "I do."

  "So what am I going to do? I don't want to take her from Cooper, but I simply must be a part of her life."

  Lizzie smiled and sipped her coffee. Then she gazed at Mary Louise over the rim of her cup. "I reckon you could have a say in Annie's raisin' if you was to marry Cooper."

  Mary Louise laughed without humor. "I already thought of that. He turned me down flat."

  A grin hovered over Lizzie's lips. "Did he now?"

  "Most succinctly and without a smidgen of regret."

  Lizzie set down her cup and crossed her arms. "So what you gonna do 'bout it?"

  Mary Louise shrugged. "What can I do? I can't very well force the man to marry me, can I?"

  Lizzie sighed and shook her head. "Naw, you cain't. And Cooper, he always say he ain't never gonna get married again."

  "Well, I think he may have changed his mind."

  Lizzie looked up from her coffee. "What you say?"

  "He told me the other day that he's decided Annie needs a mother. He said as soon as he gets better he's going to take a wife."

  Lizzie narrowed her eyes. "He say who she gonna be?"

  "No, but I think he was considering Miss Katybeth Norris."

  "Katybeth Norris!" Lizzie snorted. "Huh! That wheyfaced little titmouse ain't woman enough for Cooper Matthews."

  "Well, don't worry, I think I nipped that idea in the bud."

  "How?"

  Mary Louise had the grace to look ashamed as she confided what she'd done when Katybeth and her father visited Cooper. By the time she finished her tale, Lizzie was laughing so hard that tears slid down her withered cheeks. "Lawd, Chile, you is a caution!"

  Mary Louise grinned sheepishly. "It was an ingenious plan if I do say so myself."

  Lizzie shook her head. "Cooper Matthews don't have a chance with you around, Weezie Markham. Somethin' tells me that you gonna get what you want— if you jis bide your time. Don't give up, chile. It's about time Cooper realizes he got hisself a real woman right under his very nose."

  "You think I'm the right woman for Cooper?"

  "I sho' do. 'Question is, how do you feel 'bout him?"

  "I...I care a great deal for Cooper."

  "That all?"

  Mary Louise averte
d her gaze from Lizzie's penetrating one and bit at her lip. Then she shrugged. "All right, I'm going to burst if I don't tell somebody. Lizzie, I'm afraid I may have fallen in love with him."

  Lizzie grinned. "Afraid? Love ain't nothin' to be afraid of, chile. Love is something to welcome with open arms."

  With her fingernail, Mary Louise drew an invisible figure on the table's oilcloth covering. "Even when the one you love doesn't feel the same?"

  "Sometimes, even then. We jus' have to figger out how to make Cooper fall in love with you— if he ain't already."

  Mary Louise looked up. "You think he could already love me?"

  Lizzie shrugged. "It's possible. It's hard to tell with Cooper. He been hurt a lot, that boy. Like I said befo' Cooper learned a long time ago to keep his feelings to hisself."

  "I know his mother's abandonment hurt him, but who else betrayed his trust?"

  "Jus' about ever woman he ever cared about. His mama, his wife..." Lizzie dropped her gaze. "Even me."

  "You? He adores you, Lizzie."

  "I know he do. But I left him, just the same as his mama did. My husband, Jeb Jackson was his name, got it in his head to leave Rose Hill when Cooper was about thirteen. I tried to talk him out of moving, but nothing would do but we go up north where Jeb could get a job in one of them factories. So we loaded up our things had moved to Pennsylvania. Jeb ended up working for the railroad instead of a factory, but we had a good life, me and Jeb. We had a little place close to the depot, jus' like this 'en. Then he up and got killed in Seventy— Seven, and I come back home to Hollisburg." She smiled wistfully. "I missed my boy, you see."

  "And that's when you went to work for Cooper?"

  "Naw, they didn't need me at Rose Hill no more so I worked for folks around town. I cleaned houses and did laundry. It wasn't till Cooper married Marietta that I started working for him. That girl didn't know the first thing about keepin' house or cookin'. Cooper hired me to teach his wife about running a household."

  "And then she left him, too."

  Lizzie nodded. "Yeah, she sho did. She wasn't right for Cooper nohow. Cooper needs a woman at his side, not no little girl. 'Course, he don't seem to understand that, cause all the womens he takes up with are them little mealy— mouthed women like Katybeth Norris."