by A. T Brennan
Right now it felt as though it was about to happen, and she could barely hold in her screams as the pressure and pleasure kept building inside her. When it did break it was so powerful it was almost overwhelming, and she was thankful when he paused to give her a chance to come down as her body reacted and enjoyed the release.
When she’d calmed he rolled them over so she was on top of him. He gripped her hips and helped her set a rhythm, staring up at her hungrily as she rode him.
“Yeah, baby,” he groaned as he reached up and cupped her breasts in his hands. “Fuck yeah, babe.”
The way he was looking at her, the heat and the hunger in his eyes as he stared up at her was intoxicating, and it was all she could think about. She didn’t think about her flaws or the parts of her body that were less than perfect. She just gave into it and let her head fall back, her hands on his thighs to help anchor herself, and didn’t even think about how her hand was right over his scar.
After a long while he pulled her off of him and deposited her on the bed as he sat up. He settled behind her and pulled her hips toward him as she leaned down and angled her body so he could slide inside her.
Now he definitely wasn’t being gentle. He just gripped her waist and pulled her to meet his hard, fast thrusts.
She planted her hands on the blanket and tossed her hair back over her shoulder as she moved with him. The angle he was hitting her at was perfect, and the force of his thrusts was hard enough to jar her bones, but it was incredible and she felt herself sweeping toward another orgasm.
“Yeah, just like that. Oh god, harder!” she cried out as she felt herself hovering at that moment before orgasm again.
“Come on, baby, come for me,” he urged as he thrust into her a little harder, and that force was exactly what she needed.
She hit her release hard, screaming out in the room as her body shook from the force of it. Her legs and body grew weak as she was wracked with pleasure, and he pulled out and quickly flipped her over so she was on her back.
She barely had time to register the change before he was laying over her. He kissed her as he slid inside her, and then pounded into her. A moment later he jerked against her as he cried out in his own release. She just held him close, pressing his body against hers as he enjoyed his orgasm. He held the bulk of his weight off her as they both tried to get their breathing under control and enjoyed the afterglow.
They just held each other, their bodies slicked with sweat, as they recuperated. After a long while he moved so he could roll off of her and lay on the bed next to her. He slipped his arm under her body and pulled her close so she was cuddled up to him with her head on his chest.
“Tired?” he asked after a long pause.
His voice was soft and he sounded as drained as she felt. It was as though everything was hitting her at once—exhaustion, the beers, and their all-consuming lovemaking.
“Yeah.” She nodded against him.
“Come on.” He kissed her forehead and let her go so they could shift up to the head of the bed. As she settled under the covers he discreetly rid himself of the used condom and cleaned up a bit before slipping under the covers with her.
“The light?” she asked as she looked up. The main light in the room was still on.
He smiled at her and looked behind him as he reached up. There was a switch right above the bed.
She just grinned as he flicked off the light and felt his arms around her, pulling her close against his body in the darkness. She pulled the covers up over them and snuggled against him.
She was exhausted. She could feel her body starting to give in to sleep as he pulled her just the slightest bit closer, and she sighed against him as her eyes fluttered closed. She had a feeling she would sleep well tonight.
Chapter Five
When Kenzie woke up the first thing she noticed was that she was warm. The second was a strong and warm body next to her in the bed. As her eyes fluttered open the events of the night before came rushing back to her.
She glanced over at the bed beside her and saw Tyler was laying on his stomach with the sheet pushed down around his waist. She paused to admire just how incredible he looked, and after a moment she shifted her gaze and looked around the room.
She couldn’t see what time it was. The clock on the stove was too far and the microwave was facing the wrong way, but by the amount of light in the room she assumed it was at least mid-morning.
She shifted again when she realized she was sore, but it was a good kind of sore. It was the kind that was noticeable but didn’t really bother her, and it reminded her of what had made her sore.
She was just about to sit up when Tyler started stirring next to her and her mind went blank.
She wasn’t some virginal miss. She’d woken up next to guys before and had had some pretty passionate nights, but none had been like last night. Suddenly her shyness was back.
She turned her head so she wasn’t staring at him as he woke up and looked at the far wall.
“Oh god.”
That was the first thing she heard, and her heart sank as she turned to look at him.
He’d pushed himself up so he was propped up by one arm and he was staring down at her with a look of shock.
She felt as though her heart was being ripped out of her chest. She hadn’t expected him to wake up all smiles and professing his love for her, that would have terrified her. She’d expected him to be a little surprised and for it to be a bit awkward. She hadn’t expected him to look horrified.
“Wow.” She pulled the sheet higher on her body, making sure she was covered as she sat up. “Not exactly the response I was expecting, but I guess it’s not too far off,” she said, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice as she looked away.
“Kenzie, I didn’t mean—” He pushed himself up so he was sitting next to her.
“It’s fine,” she cut in, shaking her head as she looked around for her clothes. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Kenzie—”
“Look, I know that what happened was a mix of the beer and the emotions we were dealing with last night. I might be a little naïve and inexperienced compared to you, but I’m not stupid. I’m not an idiot.” She looked away from him.
“Kenzie—”
“I know it never would have happened if we weren’t drinking and talking about what we were. I know it was a stress response to what happened to us, and I get that you’re not used to waking up next to someone like me so let’s just chalk it up to an experience and move on.”
“It’s not you—” he started as she swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her jeans.
“Don’t,” she cut him off as she started pulling on her pants. “Please don’t give me the lip service you said you hate so much in women.” She shook her head and dropped the sheet so she could stand and do up her pants.
“Kenzie, let me explain—”
“It happened, we can’t press reset and we can’t take it back, so let’s just accept what it is,” she said tightly, covering her chest as she searched for the rest of her clothes. She was feeling extremely vulnerable at the moment and she needed to cover her body.
“Kenzie, please—”
“Look, we’re both adults. The alcohol might have helped things along but I made a choice, you made a choice and it is what it is.” She blinked back the tears that were gathering in her eyes as she found her bra and hurried over to put it on. “It’s not my first one night stand and it’s obviously not yours…” she trailed off as she searched for her shirt.
“I’m sorry. Please, just let me—”
“Please,” she cut him off as she looked at him, covering herself with her arms. “Please don’t say you’re sorry unless you regret it or it was terrible for you. And even if it was and you are, could you keep that to yourself?” she asked as she looked at the sheets. “I’m feeling a little exposed and vulnerable and I don’t think I could handle hearing that, not right now.”
“I don’t regr
et it, Kenzie, and it was great. I just—”
She saw her shirt near the couch and went to get it. She knew he was trying to explain things to her, but she didn’t want to give him the chance. She might know it was a mistake and he was regretting being with her, but she didn’t want to hear him say it. She couldn’t handle that kind of rejection from him after the night they’d shared.
“Look, I get it, I do,” she said as she grabbed her shirt and pulled it on. “It was the moment and the moment’s gone. I have to go. If your arm starts hurting, if the stitches pull or you need anything, you have my number, call me. If not then take care of yourself, and I hope you have a great life.” She gave him a small smile, desperately trying to cover up the fact that she was about to burst into tears.
“Kenzie, please don’t leave like this. Just let me explain—”
She just shook her head and spun around on her heel as she rushed to the door. She couldn’t listen to him, not when she was on the verge of tears. She might be about to break down, but that didn’t mean she was willing to cry in front of him. She grabbed her purse and hurried out of the apartment, closing the door behind her.
As Tyler watched her leave he felt like dog shit. He’d hurt her. He could see that plain as day, but she hadn’t given him a chance to explain why he’d said what he did, and how it had nothing to do with her or their night together.
He wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the asshole who woke up and kicked a girl out right away. He usually let her shower, offered her something to eat and waited with her while she called a cab or walked her to her car. He might be a cocky bastard, but he wasn’t an ass and he treated women right after he’d slept with them.
He should have thought about what he’d said before he’d spoken out loud. He wished he could take it back and he knew he’d crushed her. She already seemed to have such low self-esteem, he could only imagine how badly he’d hurt her.
It was true he didn’t deal with emotions well. He had a hard time trusting people and opening up to them, but he wasn’t the jerk everyone seemed to think he was. It took him a long time to want to care about someone else’s problems, but not because he was some unsympathetic ass. It was because he could barely deal with his own. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he used his arrogance and his cockiness as a shield to keep people out.
Last night he’d revealed more to her than he’d ever revealed to anyone other than his sister, and he’d told Kenzie things he’d never been able to say out loud to anyone who wasn’t prescribing him medication and being paid to talk to him.
More than that, she’d opened up to him and trusted him. They’d connected emotionally, not just physically, and that’s what had terrified him. From the moment his lips had touched hers he’d been lost in her. It hadn’t just been about sex, it had been about the connection. Every kiss, every touch had inflamed his desires, but every look and every cry had made him completely give in to the moment.
Sex for him was physical. It was a way to release some tension, have some contact and feel pleasure. With Kenzie it had been different. It had been wonderful and consuming, when it was usually superficial and shallow.
The connection they’d shared had been intense, and when he’d woken up he’d felt vulnerable and exposed, and he’d done exactly to her what he’d been afraid she would do to him.
He’d been afraid she would hurt him. He’d been afraid she would judge him or use what he’d said against him because that’s what he was used to with women. He hadn’t had a real connection with someone in so long his knee jerk reaction had been fear, and he’d said the first stupid thing that had popped into his head.
He didn’t know her that well, but he knew she wasn’t like the cold and shallow women he usually found himself around. She seemed real and honest, and he instinctively knew she was a good person, but he was so fucked up he hadn’t remembered to keep his damn mouth closed.
He should have taken a deep breath, calmed his traitorous mind, rolled over and smiled at her. He should have told her she looked beautiful, and he should have kissed her before he told her how incredible the night had been for him. That’s what he’d wanted to do, but he’d let his demons win and he’d hurt her.
He flopped back down on his pillow and put his hands over his eyes. He could have tried harder to stop her. He should have tried harder to stop her babbling and stop her from leaving before he could tell her the truth, but he’d felt vulnerable and his defenses had come up and he’d frozen.
She deserved better than how he’d treated her, and he was furious at himself. He’d hurt the only woman he’d felt any sort of connection with in years because he was too much of an idiot to stand up and go to her. He’d been too much of a coward to right his wrong, and now he was sure it was too late.
He didn’t know if he was ready to let someone in, to be vulnerable with someone again, but he’d done it with her last night without even thinking. He’d only met her the day before when they’d both been at the wrong place at the wrong time.
He let his arms flop back on the bed as he stared up at the ceiling. It was then he realized she didn’t have his number. She wouldn’t be calling him, and after what he’d just done to her he couldn’t blame her for never wanting to see his face again.
* * *
Kenzie made it to her car before she lost her battle with her tears. As she was slamming her door closed the floodgates opened and she just let everything out.
She wasn’t only crying about how Tyler had reacted to her. That had really hurt, but it was more the catalyst for letting go of the cascade of emotions that had built up in her over the past two days.
She hadn’t cried since before the robbery, and all of the fear, pain and humiliation just bubbled up inside of her and mixed with the loneliness and shock, and it was as though she couldn’t stop.
It felt like her body was going to spit in two from the force of her sobs, and her hands were shaking as she gripped the sides of her seat. She was losing control, and she put her head on the steering wheel and focused on her breathing. She was close to hyperventilating. She needed to calm down or she would pass out.
It took a few minutes, but she managed to calm herself and stop her tears. It took a few more minutes for the shakiness to leave her body, and when she sat up she felt a wave of dizziness before it passed and there were no more. She took a few deep breaths and was about to start the car when her phone rang.
She dug it out of her purse and looked at the call display.
“Hello?” she answered, trying to keep her voice even and hide the fact that she’d been crying hysterically.
“Kenzie, hi. It’s Melissa.”
“Hi, what’s up?”
“I have a huge favor to ask you.”
“Sure.”
“My mom was watching Devin today, but she’s taken sick and I’m in a bind. I have to go and get him but I’m on until seven.”
Kenzie looked at the dashboard clock, it was almost noon.
“Do you think you could split the shift with me? I’ll owe you big time.”
“It’s fine.” She shook her head, aware that she was talking on the phone and Melissa couldn’t see her. “Can you give me an hour to get home and shower, or do you need me there right away?”
“An hour is fine,” she said quickly. “Thank you so much.”
“Not a problem.” She did some quick calculations in her head. It would be tight, but she should be able to get home, shower and change and get back to work. “I’ll see you as soon as I can get there.”
* * *
It was close, but she made it to work just before the hour was up. She’d rushed home, showered, put on some fresh scrubs and hurried out the door. She’d picked up a coffee and a few bagels for the day, and by the time she’d parked and rushed up to their floor she’d been worried that she’d be late.
“Thank you so much, Kenzie,” Melissa said gratefully as she came up to the desk.
“No problem, I hope your mother is feeling bette
r,” she said as she put her bag of bagels under the counter and glanced at the board to see what rooms she was taking over. Three of the assigned rooms were empty, that would make her shift easier.
“Thanks, are you okay?” Melissa asked as she reached under the desk to get her purse.
“Fine,” she said quickly.
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been through hell.”
“I kind of feel like I have,” she admitted.
“Do you need someone to talk to?”
“I don’t want to put you out.”
“Not at all.” Melissa shook her head. “You’ve let me rant about my ex, my babysitter, and everyone in-between more times than I can count. The least I can do is listen back.”
“Thank you,” she said slowly.
Kenzie wasn’t one to talk to people, ever, but she really needed to talk about what had happened. Melissa was the co-worker she was the closest with, even though they were really only casual friends.
“I’ll text you my address. Devin goes to bed at eight, so why don’t you come over around eight-thirty? I can’t really leave so we’re trapped at my place.”
“That would be great,” she said quickly.
“Perfect, just come on over when you can. Text me if you’re going to be late.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem, what are friends for?” Melissa gave her a grin and shouldered her purse. “See you tonight.”
“See you.”
Kenzie was a little shocked. She liked Melissa, they had no problem talking at work and she enjoyed spending time with her, but they’d never hung out outside of work, and she was nervous.
She just shook her head and checked the charts for her rooms. She could worry about screwing things up later, right now she had a job to focus on.