Save My Soul

by K. S. Haigwood

  "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to myself."

  "Don't do that, people will think you're crazy." I could hear the smile in his voice, and I knew he had tried to make a joke to cheer me up, but it didn't work.

  "Maybe I am." I said out loud.

  "What?" Mason said.

  I sighed. "Sorry, I was having a conversation with my guardian angel."

  His eyes got wide like he didn't believe me. "And just what did your guardian angel have to say?"

  "He wants me to tell you the truth. He wants me to tell you what I have to do about Adam, but I don't think I have the energy for this fight any longer. I'm going to bed." I got out of the truck, being careful not to break my neck on the long trip down. I heard his door shut, then my gravel driveway under his shoes as he walked around the truck to me.

  I looked up at him. He had calmed down, but I knew if I told him what I had to do, he would be angry all over again, or he would tell Adam what my intentions were. I didn't need him causing any more problems than I already had. I didn't figure Adam would enjoy being told that I was going to try and make him fall in love with me so I could stay alive.

  "I think you may be right on that one, Kendra. Don't tell him, just get rid of him." Rhyan said.

  Mason didn't say anything; he just took my hand in his and walked me to my front porch swing. I sat down on one end, and he sat in the middle so our hands could still be joined.

  "What is it, Kendra. What do you have to do to Adam?"

  "Do you like me, Mason?" I asked.

  "Yes," he said, sounding a little leery.

  "Do you like me a lot?" I asked again.

  "Yes, Kendra, I like you a lot. What's this all about?" There was a hint of nervousness in his voice now.

  "Then you don't want to know. I'll tell you, but it won't be tonight. Drop it, please." I pleaded with the eyes I gave my daddy when I wanted something. To my amazement, it worked on Mason as well, because he nodded.

  "Tell me you aren't going to hurt him physically, and I'll let it go," he said.

  "I swear I will not physically hurt Adam."

  He nodded again. "All right then, consider the matter officially dropped."

  Even after Adam had pissed him off earlier, Mason was still worried about the welfare of his friend.

  "He told me today that what me and you had going on, was a good thing. He said you were a good guy." I said.

  "Why did he act that way tonight toward you if he wanted us to be together?" He didn't want me to be with Mason. Adam wanted to be with me. He just didn't know it yet.

  I shrugged. "Maybe he was trying to piss off Sherri so she would leave him alone, and he thought you would know what he was doing."

  "You may be right. He's been trying to get rid of her for a while now. She wants something serious, and he never will."

  I yawned. "I think I'm going to head in and get ready for bed. It's been a long two days." Mason stood and then helped me to my feet. He looked at me for a moment, then placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

  "I'm sorry it wasn't a great date. Can I call you tomorrow?"

  "I may be busy, but if I miss your call, I'll call you back. I'm doing senior pictures all this week and next." He smiled and nodded, then walked back to his truck.

  It was the same line I had told Aven, but it was actually true. I was booked solid, starting at nine in the morning. I had a three-hour break from eleven till two, but the rest of that week and the next, I was betting on no sleep. That was, if I made it to the next week.

  I took my heels off and let them dangle from my fingers as I watched Mason drive away.

  I sighed. Two days down, five to go, and praying for another miracle.

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  Chapter Eighteen

  I woke up on Monday morning surprisingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as my daddy would say. No bad dreams, hal-le-lu-jah. I quickly showered and carefully applied my makeup. I had to get ready before my first appointment showed up, just in case my last appointment made me run in to my midday break. I had to meet with Adam for lunch, because I'd already told him I would be there. The smart thing to do would be to cancel all of my appointments for the week. I did actually die, twice, the day before yesterday. No one really expected me to work this week, but if I didn't do it, the kids would go somewhere else, and that would be bad for business.

  My first client showed up about fifteen minutes early. If all three did that, I wouldn't have to worry about being late for lunch. She was very easy, and my camera loved her. She had a pretty smile and eyes that shined.

  Sometimes a photographer gets people that, no matter what the hell you do with them, it just isn't going to work. That's where my unique skill comes in handy. I can make the un-photogenic look photogenic. Don't ask me how; everyone has their secrets.

  I was done with my first appointment in record time, and as she was pulling out of my drive, my second appointment was pulling in.

  This client was a guy, and guys were always easy. They don't care where you put them or how you arrange them. I can put them in a field, on the road, or in front of a backdrop, and say "smile", and that's what they do. Most of the guys like the more serious shots where they don't have to smile at all; that's fine with me too.

  It didn't take long to finish him up, and he was out the door. I checked my watch. It was ten o'clock. I fixed myself a cup of coffee. By the time it was cool enough to drink without scalding my tongue, my last appointment of the morning rang my door bell.

  I've always heard that bad things happen in three's. I guess good things only happen in two's. I opened the door, and the girl was a mess. Evidently, the girl didn't have a sister or even a mother, by the looks of her. She was wearing mismatched clothes, her foundation was four shades too dark for her skin tone, her eyeliner was too heavy, her hair was in a ponytail, and she had bright blue eye shadow on. What the hell had happened to this girl, a train wreck? A friend or even a teacher should have helped this girl out.

  I looked at the hopeless case and a light bulb came on above my head. She was about my size, and her skin tone was almost the same as mine. I looked at my watch again. 10:10 a.m. Well, at least she was early.

  I grabbed the girls arm and pulled her through the house to my bathroom. "Get in the shower and scrub all that stuff off of your face. Wash and condition your hair. I'm going to try and find you some things of mine to wear." She didn't argue with me. I didn't know if it was because I sounded angry, or maybe she wanted someone to help her.

  I found three outfits for her to wear. They were some of my best clothes, but the girl wouldn't have them on for very long. I opened the door enough to get my arm through, and I hung the hangers with the clothes, on a hook inside the door.

  "Put one of these outfits on when you get out," I looked at my watch again. "And hurry. If we aren't finished by 11:25 we'll have to end our session early." I didn't mean to sound rude, but damn.

  The door opened, and the girl still looked bad, but she had potential. I had her sit on a stool I keep in the bathroom. I use it when I don't want to stand up to get ready. No joke, I am lazy sometimes. I finished removing her mascara and eyeliner, she looked like a raccoon. She already looked 99% better than she had when I opened my front door.

  I told her that her foundation was too dark. Then, I told her to make sure it matched her skin tone in the future, or she shouldn't wear any at all. I applied my foundation to her face while she watched in the mirror. Someone had to teach her. I dusted her with loose powder then gave her a precision line on the tops of her lids with my eyeliner. I explained everything I was doing, and showed her how to put it on herself. We went through blushes, eye shadows, mascaras and lip glosses. When I finished with her makeup, her eyes began to tear-up.

  "No, don't," I fanned at her face. "This mascara isn't waterproof."

  I took the towel off her head then turned her to face me. I used the blow dryer to make her hair straight. She actually had very pretty, long hair. I used my flat i
ron and straightened her hair even more to give it a style. I could tell her hair had natural, nasty wave like mine.

  When I was finished, I wanted to weep. I cursed myself for not taking a photo of her before the fix, so she could see just how bad she had looked. She was very pretty now. If I went to school with this girl, I wouldn't have recognized her after this fix.

  "Everyone is going to think there's a hot new student in their school." I turned her to face the mirror. She screamed then started to cry fresh new tears. I fanned at her face again. "Michelle, you're going to have to stop that. You are ruining everything I've created."

  She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. "I know, and I'm sorry, but no one has ever cared enough to show me anything."

  I wiped under her eyes with a tissue then powdered her up again. I pointed at her. "No more tears until after we're through with the shots."

  She nodded and smiled shyly. I grabbed the other two outfits in one hand and pulled her to my studio with the other.

  I got some really great shots of her. Those senior guys won't know what hit them when she walks through the door on the first day back to school from summer break.

  When we were finished, Michelle put her old clothes back on. She looked a little depressed when she walked out of the bathroom holding a small wad of money.

  "You don't have to pay the sitting fee. Go buy yourself a new outfit Michelle." her eyes lit up.

  "Do you really mean it?" She began to tear-up again, but I was finished with her shots, so I didn't care if she cried a river.

  I nodded and smiled back at her. "Only if you promise that you won't tell anybody about today. I want you to walk in that school with your head held high, and let everyone see how beautiful you are. I'm not taking credit for this, mainly because I don't want a bunch of teenagers at my door wanting beauty tips." I looked at my watch. 11:24 a.m.

  "Go on now, I'm running late." Michelle hugged and thanked me again, then out the door she went, with me right behind her.

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  Chapter Nineteen

  I drove like a bat out of hell, mainly because I knew that when I reached the outskirts of the city, I was going to be creeping with the noon rush hour traffic.

  I arrived at Cavernous five minutes late. Maybe he hadn't given up on me. I opened the door of the little corner restaurant and walked in. It was packed, and there were people waiting to be seated, sitting on benches by the door. I scanned them for Adam, and when I didn't see him on the benches, I went up to the front of the line. A few people gave me dirty looks, but I wasn't cutting in front of them; well I guess I was, but I was hoping Adam was already seated at our table.

  The hostess looked up and gave me a fake smile. "Party of one?"

  "No, I'm meeting someone. Chamberlain, Adam Chamberlain."

  The girl gave me a funny look, then said, "Right this way." What was that about?

  I followed her through the main dining room, then into another room that was almost as big. She led me to a corner booth at the far end of the room. It was still crowded, but there was not as much noise. I spotted Adam, and he rose from his side of the booth to greet me.

  "Sorry I'm late. My last appointment was a fixer-upper." He smiled as I sat, then he sat too.

  "No worries. I took the liberty of ordering you a glass of Chardonnay. I didn't know what you would want, so I ordered what you had last night." Had he noticed that much about my date with Mason?

  I really looked at him then. There was a dark shadow around his left eye. "What happened to your eye?"

  He gave a nervous laugh. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice. One of the nurses went over it a little with some of her makeup. It looks a lot worse without it."

  "I'd imagine it would. What happened?" Had Mason done this out of jealousy? If he had, I wouldn't be taking or returning any of his calls. He knew I had to see Adam this week.

  "Sherri didn't take to kindly to the way I acted toward you last night. She got the impression that I was more interested in you than I was in her." He'd made the same impression on me, but I wasn't going to let him know that I had noticed.

  I focused on the menu, because I didn't know what to say. The waitress walked up with my wine about that time, saving me from having to speak to Adam right away. I normally didn't drink alcoholic beverages during the day, but the waitress set a glass of water on the table beside my wine, maybe he wouldn't notice if I didn't drink what he ordered me.

  "Are you ready to order, Ma'am, or do you need another minute." I looked at Adam and he motioned for me to go ahead.

  "I'll have the chicken salad sandwich with chips please," I said, and she jotted it down on her ticket book then turned to Adam.

  "I'll have the same," He said to her, but he was looking at me.

  When we were alone again, I felt awkward. What could I say to him? I knew I had more work to do with converting him to Christianity, but where the hell should I start? I didn't want to discuss the loss of his family. I knew the reason he didn't believe, but it wasn't making my task any easier.

  "I want to apologize for the way I acted yesterday, Kendra." Did he mean at the cemetery, or last night? I was betting on the cemetery.

  "You are forgiven. You already apologized to me on my machine. I got the message."

  "Ask him why the sudden change of heart?" Rhyan said in my head, and I didn't question him; he was trying to help me. It was about time.

  "Why the sudden change of heart?" I repeated aloud to Adam.

  He turned his head to the side and stared at me a moment. He shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts. "I was a jerk, but I was only taking you out there so you would understand and then leave me alone. I didn't expect for you to not see it the way I do. You intrigue me."

  "How so?" I asked.

  "You are so dedicated to this task. Anyone else would think you are a crazy woman. I still haven't ruled that out."

  So he did think I was crazy. "I'm not crazy. There are a lot of terrible things that happen in this world that no one can do anything about. I'm sorry that you lost your family, but you didn't lose your life. Look what you've made of yourself. You are an excellent surgeon. You have saved countless lives…"

  "Two hundred and thirty-two, counting you."And I was very happy to be on that list of survivors.

  "Fine, you have saved two hundred and thirty-two lives. Do you not think there is a reason for that?"

  The waitress showed up with our food. She asked if we needed anything else, and Adam told her that we didn't.

  He sighed. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to believe there is a God. I can't believe that if there was, he would make decisions to destroy so many innocent lives. I became a surgeon because…the lives that he decides to take; I make sure they stay here where they are supposed to be. I lost you twice on the O.R. table, but I didn't give up, and look where you are now."

  "And you think if something happens to me Friday, that you will be able to keep me here…by operating?"

  He shrugged his shoulders. "If your head is still attached, and your heart is in one piece, then the answer is yes."

  I covered my face with my hands. "Help me, Rhyan."

  "You aren't going to be able to talk God into his head, Kendra. You're going to have to show him. What did I tell you yesterday? He needs to know love."

  I sighed again. What did I have to lose by trying? My life and soul were already at stake. My problem was, I'd never been in love myself. How did I show him something I had never experienced for myself? I loved my family, my friends, and even Hercules, but from what I'd heard, the kind of L-O-V-E Rhyan was talking about was different. I'd never felt that kind of love. I think I was afraid to.

  "You can do this. Get to know him. He's your soulmate…unfortunately."

  I removed my hands from my face and looked at Adam. He was staring at me with squinted eyes, like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I didn't think I had said anything out loud. "What are you doing the rest of
the day?"

  He sat back in his seat and sighed. "You just don't give up, do you?" I shook my head. He stared at me another brief moment before responding. "I have a surgery at one-thirty. It shouldn't take over an hour and a half. I should be leaving the hospital by three, but I'm on call. Why?"

  "Come to my house when you're finished." I grabbed my purse and retrieved my wallet out of it.

  "I got the bill, Kendra. Where are you going? Aren't you going to eat?"

  "We aren't settling anything here, and I have a few things to do before my next appointment." I said as I stood, then I put a ten on the table. "It wasn't a date, remember? If it isn't a date, then you don't get to pay for my meal."

  "But…" He began to talk, but I cut him off.

  "Call me when you get off and I'll give you directions to my house," I said over my shoulder as I walked away from him.

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  Chapter Twenty

  I wished I'd gotten a to-go box. My sandwich and chips were still sitting on the table at the restaurant, and I was hungry. Damn.

  I had lied to Adam. I didn't have anything to do before my appointments this afternoon, but I couldn't sit there and argue with him any longer. I'd thought the "not a date" would have went smoother. I was praying that it would go better when he got to my house. I sighed.

  "Rhyan, I need some company, care to pop in?" I said out loud, and then I heard the loud pop. It was a lot louder in the confined space of the car than out in the open, or even in my house.

  I stuck my finger in my ear and wiggled it, trying to get the ringing to stop. "I would do anything for you, Kendra." he said with a grin.

  I smiled at him. Man, he was handsome. I think he got better looking every time I saw him.

  His grin spread and I blushed. I had forgotten that he could read my mind.

  "I think I'll visit you more often." he said.

  "Stop," I said and glared at him.

  "Why did you walk out on him at the restaurant?"

  I shrugged. "We weren't getting anywhere, and I was getting frustrated. I can't get into his heart by sitting across a table from him in a crowded restaurant."