Beat of His Heart

by Nickie Nalley Seidler

  After a short drive to the restaurant, I was starting to sweat. The nerves were kicking in and I wasn’t sure how I was going to do with this date. Flashbacks of Brad were coming and going and I just wanted to focus on Noah and give him the fair chance of the evening he deserved. I quickly texted Sara. She was my escape if something went wrong. I felt like maybe women didn’t do that anymore, but I was being old school. I had my back up plan and if I texted her at all, she’d call me and help me to bail. Noah would never know that she didn’t live there.

  Walking in to Café Blue, the dim lighting and candles sparkling on the table set the mood. A host placed us at the table in the middle of the restaurant next to a fireplace. Fancy.

  I’ve been there a few times when work had some meetings and thought it appropriate for tonight since I loved their menu. After the waitress introduced herself and I ordered a cocktail, I knew exactly what I wanted.

  Noah broke the silence. “Nice place, I’ve actually never been here.”

  “Yeah, the chicken Florentine is really good, and the prime rib.” I watched him as he glared at the menu.

  “Prime rib it is then.” He placed his menu down and smiled at me. That was easy enough. The waitress came back and took our order. Noah got the prime rib, and I told her I wanted the chicken parmesan.

  “So, Noah, I just wanted to apologize again.”

  “Amy, I wouldn’t be sitting here if I didn’t accept your apology, really, it’s no big deal. You had a bad morning.”

  “It’s not just about a bad morning. There are things I want to tell you that I think, if we continue to see each other, you ought to know.” I smiled. “That is if that was what you wanted, or if I read into you wrong...” shying away from the dumbest remark I made.

  “Of course; you’re beautiful, smart, and have a sense of humor, from what I gathered, I’d love to get to know you.” His hands reached over at the table and patted my hand, giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

  “This is all new for me. I was engaged a couple years ago, so it’s been a long time since I’ve done any of this.”

  “What happened?” His eyes got serious. My heart lurched in my chest and I swallowed a big gulp of spit forming in my throat.

  “I lived in Chicago, and I was engaged to a man named Brad. He was tragically killed in a drunk driving accident.”

  “Oh, Amy, I’m very sorry.”

  “Thank you. So, when you dressed me that morning, it was in his shirt. I didn’t think before yelling at you about it that you were just trying to help me and I was being a bitch. It struck chords with me and reminded me that he was really gone. That I had a man in my house that dressed me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way. Thank you for doing what you did that night. I was dumb to get so drunk.”

  He stood up from his seat and walked over to my side of the booth and squeezed in next to me. Before words could be spoken, he reached his arms around me and hugged me, tight.

  “Oh, ok,” I whispered, surprised by his actions.

  I wasn’t used to this kind of touch from someone but it felt really good as I hugged him back. I could feel his tight chest beneath his shirt, and the smell of his sweet cologne.

  After he pulled away, he kissed my cheek. “I completely understand, again, you didn’t need to justify yourself. It’s okay.”

  Instead of going back to his side of the table, he stayed on my end. It made me slightly uncomfortable, but it felt good feeling his presence so close. I started feeling guilty when my thoughts were of undressing him.

  The meal had come and we poked at it during light conversation. Brad was never mentioned again, and that made me feel better as it wasn’t something I wanted to keep discussing. Noah told me about his job and how it was being a firefighter. It made him that much sexier to me. I told him about my boring job as a human resources manager. It was a huge adjustment after being my own owner at my flower shop. I discussed that briefly but it started to make me sad, so I quickly switched topics. I found myself laughing so hard during the evening.

  “You’re pretty funny, Noah.” I jabbed his shoulder while giggling at a joke he said.

  “Happy I can make you laugh.” He smiled, showing me the dimple in his cheek. “It’s important to make a woman smile and laugh.”

  “Couldn’t agree more.” Things got a little different now. I felt shy again. His hand trailed to my leg and gave it a squeeze. I jumped at the slight touch which sent tingles through my stomach, awakening a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. Since Brad. He rubbed slowly up and down while his eyes met mine.

  “I’m having a nice evening with you.” His voice was so soft.

  I was barely audible, keeping focused with his hand on my leg. “Me too.”

  “Want to head out of here?” he suggested.

  “Sure, we can go back to my place and Netflix and chill?” I smiled; I sounded so dumb.

  Was that even what people did on dates anymore? All I knew was that I really liked Noah. He was so funny and sweet to me, and the attraction we had was something we couldn’t deny. There was definitely a magnetism between us. He actually agreed to my suggestion and we headed out to my place. The car ride was sweet; he held my hand almost the whole way home. It was pretty silent in the car, but I was positive it was the attraction we were both trying to control. It was strong, and I’m sure tonight was going to get awkward.

  Unlocking the door to my condo, I flipped the light on while he followed me in. I kicked off my heels in the corner walked over to my television, looking for the remote.

  “Amy…” He stood behind me before slowly taking my hand and turning me toward him. When our eyes met, I slowly looked down. I was nervous. He took my hand and held it over his heart. Feeling it beat out of his chest made me feel how much he felt. I couldn’t look at him. I was almost embarrassed.

  “Noah…I…”

  “Shh.” He smiled before leaning down extra slowly, giving me plenty of time to deny him if I wanted to. But I didn’t. My lips crashed against his and his arms wrapped around my waist as he deepened the kiss. I moaned as my tongue pushed inside his mouth, tasting him. His hands then traveled to my face, cupping it as he sweetened the kiss before backing away. “I don’t want to push you, Amy.”

  “It’s been a long time, since, you know…” I bit my bottom lip.

  “Then let me show you how you beautiful you are to me.”

  “It’s so….fast,” I whispered, out of breath as him being close to me made me feel things I couldn’t control.

  “I can wait as long as you need me to.” He trailed kisses over my ear and down the side of my cheek before kissing me on the lips to make me feel those soft, incredible lips all over again.

  “No, I’m ready now,” I huffed. “Right now.” My lips smacked into his harder as I pushed him back up against the wall in my living room. He lifted his hands under me and picked me up while my arms wrapped around his neck as we kissed.

  A rush of adrenaline spiked and I needed him now. I needed him to fill this void I’ve been feeling since Brad. I needed him to show me my life could move on. I could feel again. He needed to make me feel alive, and wanted. Most of all, he needed to make me feel ok.

  He carried me to the bedroom and gently placed me on my bed. My legs writhed underneath him as he towered over me, still connecting our lips. His hands trailed under my dress and caressed my leg up and down, tugging on my black lace panties. He broke the kiss and smiled. Once he got my panties down to my knees and off, he grabbed my hands and pulled me upwards, making me stand up in front of the bed.

  He kissed my shoulder and moved my strap over to kiss some more, letting it fall loosely down my arm. His hand trailed behind me and unzipped my dress. He didn’t slide it off though, he brought his hands inside the dress and trailed his fingers over my back. He unclasped my bra like he was a professional. Then he slid my dress down till it fell to the ground. I stepped out of it and he pulled my chin upward to look at him. He wasn’t eyeing my naked
nervous body, he was looking right into my eyes. If that wasn’t sexy, I didn’t know what was. I immediately felt comfortable. He lay me back on the bed as he undressed himself in front of me. Watching the layers of his shirts come off while he then unzipped his jeans and pulled off his boxer briefs till they hit the floor, made me smile at what I saw.

  “Are you ok?” he whispered, climbing back on top of me.

  “I’m more than ok.” I trailed my hand over his chiseled chest as I took in Noah for the first time. He was making me feel like making love on the first date was completely normal. As I knew it wasn’t, it felt right. He felt right. All my worries, all my concerns were left behind and all I saw was Noah. Beautiful Noah.

  He kissed me again, his chest pressing to mine. “You’re so beautiful,” he said between kisses. His hand trailed down to my core as he pushed a finger in before taking it out and pushing it back in. It must have struck his surprise that I was already pretty wet for him. I moaned as he moved his finger over my nub, rubbing until I wiggled beneath him. I felt his hard cock press against my leg as I moaned to him.

  “Skip the foreplay, I want you,” I moaned.

  “Are you on the pill?” he whispered in my ear gently before I answered yes. It was all he needed before he entered me.

  The feeling of him pushing inside me felt like I was a virgin all over again. I moaned and pushed my hips up to his as he started to thrust in and out. I wrapped my legs tight around his waist, feeling him go deeper inside me as he picked up speed. I ran my fingers through his hair and moaned before wrapping my arms around his waist and pushing him over. I immediately climbed on top of him and slid him back inside me. He groaned in pleasure.

  I slowly started to ride him back and forth, rocking my body against his. Noah’s hands traveled to my breasts as he squeezed before sitting up and sucking one nipple at a time. I pushed him back down and started to bounce on him harder. The harder I bounced, the heavier and louder my moans got. He gripped my waist, shoving me up and down harder and faster before he flipped me back on my back again and gained control.

  He pounded hard inside me while we sloppily kissed each other. The feeling was surreal. I was so turned on and meeting his rhythm while he trailed kisses down my neck, gently sucking. My hands scratched at his back as I writhed beneath him in pleasure. My legs shook slightly as I let go. My legs tensed up, and it was a full toe curling orgasmic feeling. He pumped a little harder for a few more seconds and unleashed inside of me.

  He collapsed next to me, hugging me close to him. “That was nice,” I breathed. “So, Netflix and chill?” I giggled.

  “I think we upgraded way past that.” He laughed. “I’m comfortable right here.” He kissed me softly.

  “Me too.” I kissed back, leaning my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.

  5 - CHAPTER five

  Noah and I had the most amazing night together. I really couldn’t have asked for a better date. Dinner was great, sex was even greater, and he was a gentleman and stayed the night. The connection I felt with Noah was incredible. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling that way about a man I just met. A man that I felt so deeply about. He made me feel beautiful, and was totally in it for more than just the sex. He slept by my side all night long, cuddled to me and even cooked me breakfast in the morning. I had nothing in the house of course, so he went out to the grocery store and picked some things up and actually cooked for me. To say I was impressed was an understatement. He stayed part of the afternoon and we basked in the sun on my balcony for a while, just watching the ocean. Light conversation was easy with Noah. Talking to him came naturally. I was so very grateful for that. We saw each other every freaking day this week. I was way over my head with this, but I loved every second I spent with Noah.

  The next couple weeks we spent a lot of time together. We were slowly getting to know each other, going on dates every other night. We were just drawn to one another. I was looking forward to a small break to gather my thoughts about Noah.

  The day was getting even more exciting because Sara was on a plane to come see me. I cleaned up the house, went grocery shopping, stocked up on a bunch of snacks and comfort food like ice cream and chips. Oh, and lots and lots of alcohol. This four day weekend with her was going to be the best time she’d have with me. She wanted a mommycation, she was going to get one. I had a couple things planned including letting her meet Noah at some point this weekend. Even though Noah and I had sex right away, we were taking things slowly with the relationship. As much as I wanted to go slow, it wasn’t an option with Noah. But we went as slowly as we could. He knew my stance, and I knew he was not going anywhere. I wasn’t naïve, but I really did trust this man I’ve known for a few weeks.

  I was waiting at baggage claim as I had about a half hour till Sara’s plane landed. My phone started ringing and I checked to see that it was Shelly.

  “Um, hello, stranger?” she spoke before I could even say hello.

  “Hey.” I smiled and then rolled my eyes. I wasn’t avoiding Shelly, but I wasn’t exactly keeping her in the loop.

  “Don’t hey me! When were you going to tell me about the best sex of your lifeeeee?!” She shrieked. “Ahhhh, I’m so happy for you, Amy!”

  “Wow, word gets around.”

  “Don’t worry, Noah didn’t say that, I just assumed. You dirty girl. Now spill it!”

  “He’s amazing, not going to lie.” I laughed.

  “Oh my God girl, I’m so freaking excited for you. Plus, Noah is HOT!”

  “He is, and our connection is out of this world. It’s so weird. But so good. Like, I feel like I’ve known him forever, Shelly. We’re so damn comfortable with each other and it has been a few weeks.” I sighed, going back over the weeks in my head.

  “Well, take it slow. Everyone always gets the butterflies at first, it’s keeping those feelings as you go that’s hard.”

  “Somehow I don’t feel like it’s going to be hard. But you’re right. I just don’t want this feeling to end. I’m at the airport right now actually. Sara is coming in town for a couple days.”

  “Aw, will I finally get to meet your bestie?”

  I looked up as the buzzer sounded and the luggage started pouring out on the conveyer belt.

  “Yeah, I plan to put something together where she can meet everyone. Maybe you can bring Kent and such too. I’ll figure it out. I got to go right now.”

  “I’m still so happy for you. Keep me updated.”

  “Ok, bye Shelly. Talk to you soon.”

  I waited patiently as I saw people filing in from the escalators. I was eyeing the stairs too, and so far she wasn’t in sight. That was until I heard her screaming my name. I turned and she caught me off guard, running towards me. She must have come from the other side of the airport. I ran into her arms as we hugged tightly. It had been so damn long since I’ve seen my best friend and a rush of emotions flooded me.

  “I’m so happy to see you,” I cried. I held her and didn’t let her go. I was truly so happy to see her.

  “You look stunning, Amy.” She pulled me away from her so she could look at me. “Absolutely beautiful.” A tear ran down her cheek.

  “You do too, Sara. Come on, let’s get some lunch and head back to my place.”

  “I’m starved.”

  We grabbed her bags and packed into the car and drove out of the crazy airport traffic. Once we hit the streets I stopped at a local diner that I’ve become a fan of since living out here. We both sat down and reminisced about the past, and my life in Florida. She told me about her life and what was happening with her husband and baby girl. I treasured these conversations. Our life had so many obstacles that we were lucky to have survived them and turned out happy. We both were at a point in our life where we thought there was no way we’d ever be happy with our lives. Except, we are. We were able to rise up and move on as much as it hurt and as hard as it was.

  That was the funny thing about life. There were so many things that pulle
d you down in life, but there were many things that pulled you up. You chose to live the life that you did. You directed your own path. You were the gps in where you went with your life. You hit many bumps in the road, and dead ends, but you always ended up on the path that you directed yourself in. That made life interesting. It was the same with love. Although I believed you didn’t get to choose who you loved. I did believe that love chose its own paths.

  “You look really happy.” Sara smiled while she gazed out the window of my condo overlooking the ocean. “The pictures you sent didn’t do this view justice.”

  “I am happy. Actually, there’s someone I want you to meet while you’re here.”

  You’d think she was the exorcist how fast her head spun in my direction with her eye balls bulged out of the sockets. For real, she was legit ready to pounce on me for information.

  “What? Who? Tell me!” She ran over to me and pushed me on the couch. She scrunched her legs up under her ready for a speech I supposed. I faced her, pulling my legs underneath me and sighed.

  “His name is Noah Hendricks. We just started seeing one another a few weeks ago.”

  “AMY MCBETH!” she squealed. “Seriously, you’re just telling me this? I mean come on, you had weeks to tell me!”

  I belly laughed. “Jesus, Sara, it’s been a couple weeks. I didn’t know how things were going to go and I didn’t want to tell you right away till I knew. Or else it may have just been a one night stand kind of story.” I shyly nodded my head till she figured out what that meant.

  “Amy!” she yelled, slapping my arm. “You slept with him already?”

  “It was so good. He’s so good. He’s so amazing, Sara. You wouldn’t even believe me when I say it’s that good. He’s genuine. He’s sweet. He’s sexy as hell. I really see us going somewhere. We’re so connected that I don’t even know how to explain it.” I held my hand to my heart as it pitter pattered in my chest just thinking of this man.

  “I’m impressed, I’d love to meet him. Gah, I’m so happy you’re finally happy and that you met someone. That he sounds so amazing for you.”