All of Me

by Jennifer Bernard

  So he did know. Someone had told him, or shown him. The injustice of the entire situation made her furious. She whirled away from him. “I tried! And besides, tell you what? That my horrid ex-boyfriend has a vendetta against me? That he’s one of those boys who picks the wings off flies, and I’m the fly? Why is that any of your business?”

  “It wouldn’t be, except—”

  “I told you we shouldn’t get involved. How many times have I told you that?”

  “That’s not—”

  She spun around and shoved him in the chest. He was so solid he barely budged. “You should just stay away from me, Catfish. I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

  “I’m not asking you to—”

  “Oh yeah? You look like a cop right now, interrogating a suspect.”

  He let his arms fall to his sides. “I haven’t said three words! Some interrogation.”

  “You said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ ” Throwing up her hands, she stalked as far away from him as possible in the small space. “You dragged me out here to interrogate me.”

  “No.”

  “Why, then?”

  “To understand. Because I care about you.”

  That slowed her down for a second. But only for a second. “If you care so much, why haven’t you called in a week?” She held up a hand. “Let me guess. You were checking out the Facebook page. Wondering how much of it is real. Asking yourself why I didn’t seem like that in person, and how I managed to fool you.” She turned her back on him, fighting to keep the tears at bay.

  “No.” Fierce and low, the harsh word was followed by Caleb’s iron arms folding around her, pressing her spine against the solid warmth of his chest. “None of that. Don’t get me wrong. It was hard seeing those photos. They got me all twisted up, and I’m sorry, Sadie. Fuck, I’m sorry for that. I was wrong. You don’t owe me any explanations. That ass is trying to shame you, but he’s the one who should be ashamed, not you.”

  For a long moment she did nothing more than shake in his arms. For him to say those words, hold her close, comfort her . . . it was almost disorienting after everything she’d been through. She drew in a long, shuddering breath while he held her tight.

  “My problem is that I hate being blindsided. I kept thinking how I told you about my father. I trusted you, but you didn’t trust me. I was hurt and I took it personally.”

  Her stomach cratered. Blindsided. Despite her intention to tell him herself, he’d found out through someone else. She couldn’t let that happen again. She had to tell him about the birthday tape. She turned in the circle of his arms to face him. “There’s more, Caleb. A really embarrassing tape Hamilton made. I didn’t know he was doing it. He emails it to people when he wants to ruin things for me.”

  “Shh. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what Hamilton did or does. I know who you are, Sadie.” His mouth brushed her ear, his words less a sound than a hot breath. The sensation made her head spin. “But I’ll tell you this. Next time I get into it with Hamilton Wade, I won’t be so nice.”

  A rush of emotion made her knees wobble. She’d felt so alone, taking on Hamilton. In the early days she’d assumed more people would stand up for her. She’d craved that, needed it desperately. Now here was this handsome, strong ballplayer, taking her side without question.

  A tear leaked out of her eye and traced a warm path down her cheek. One of his arms kept her firmly clamped against him, while the other shifted. A big thumb brushed against her cheekbone and wiped away the tear.

  His kindness made another one swell in its place. She could cry forever over Hamilton, mourn for the naïve girl she’d been, shocked to find such cruelty directed at her. She could hide forever too. Safe in her cubicle at the mayor’s office, safe in her old Chevy, safe with her apathetic mother and her one remaining friend.

  Instead, she flung her arms around his neck. His thick hair brushed against the back of her hands. She heard his breath catch. His hands went to her waist in a hold that steadied her and simultaneously made her wild. “What are you doing?” he murmured, just before she drew his face down to hers.

  “I want you.” The raw declaration shocked her, but she knew every word was true. “If you don’t mind.”

  His eyes flashed silver. “Oh, I don’t mind. As long as you’re sure.”

  At her fervent nod, he took command, holding her head still in his big, callused hands. He seared her with one long look, while she burned for him. Whatever he saw in her eyes must have satisfied him, because he claimed her mouth in an endless, searching kiss that had her sagging against him.

  “God, Caleb,” she whispered, pulling away ever so briefly. He snatched her back.

  “I know. Crazy, isn’t it?” He kissed her cheeks, the fine bone along her eye socket, her eyebrows, his thumbs resting along her jawbone.

  “It’s never felt like this. No matter what people say, I’ve only ever been with Hamilton. And I didn’t like it much. I know those pictures look bad, but—”

  “Shhh.” He transferred his kisses to her throat, peppering her skin with hot nibbles. She held onto his shoulders for dear life in the rush of delirious pleasure.

  “I was sure I’d just stay alone forever. I didn’t plan any of this . . .”

  “Woman, you’re distracting me.” He nipped at her lower lip. The shock went all the way to her toes.

  She gasped, finally wordless.

  “Are you done now? No more talking?”

  She gave a series of quick nods as he kissed his way down the side of her neck to the tender curve of her shoulder, the place where her kitten used to nestle. Caleb, no kitten, clamped his jaws across it like a lion. Hot emotion surged inside her, clamoring to get out.

  He released her and soothed the spot with his warm tongue.

  “From now on I want nothing but happy sounds. Moans, whimpers, the occasional ‘More, Caleb, more.’ ”

  She giggled breathlessly, riveted to the sight of his big right hand reaching into the top of her sundress. Then her giggle turned to a happy gasp as her breast nestled into his palm. He let out a long groan of appreciation, then extracted the other, so she was entirely exposed to view. The pads of his thumbs brushed across the tips of her nipples. She moaned, clutching his forearms, which felt like twin tree trunks, strong and invincible.

  He walked her backward to an upright post at the back of the gazebo, between two benches. Propping her against it, he placed her hands on the latticework of the gazebo wall. “Hold onto that. If you touch me I’ll lose it.” She didn’t even recognize his voice, so low and growling and hot.

  Shuddering, her nipples pebbling in the open air, she abandoned all thought of shyness. Instead, she arched her back, urging him silently to touch her, stroke her . . . lick her. A quick glance down her own body gave her an erotic thrill; her breasts were pale, luminous globes, the nipples dark punctuation marks. He took them into his mouth, one, then the other, flicking, teasing, using teeth and tongue and the devastatingly rough skin of his hands to wrest one moan after another from her.

  When she was shaking like a leaf, he lifted her skirt and ran a hand up her inner thigh to her panties. He slid one finger inside the elastic and brushed against her aching mound.

  “So wet,” he muttered, his forehead resting against hers. His ragged breaths made his chest rise and fall. She wanted to touch him, was dying to touch him, but kept her hands tangled in the lattice work. She didn’t want this to end. Never wanted it to end.

  He was running his hand everywhere under her dress. His hand said everything with its hungry touch. You’re beautiful, I want you, I could touch you until the end of time. He molded the arch of her hip bones, brushed across her lower belly, sank his fingers into the flesh of her ass. She burned, craving him like water.

  Her hips quivered, her inner channel throbbed. She wanted him inside her body. She wanted his hand on her sex, his fingers on her clit, her mouth, anywhere he wanted. She wanted him everywhere, all at once, urgent as a fire alar
m.

  “Protection?” It was the first word she’d managed since he’d asked her to stop distracting him.

  “Stuck one in my wallet last week. Back when I hoped I had a chance with you.”

  He took a break from stroking fire across her skin and fumbled for his wallet.

  She reached into his pocket, sliding along the imposing ridge of his erection. “Your chances are looking pretty good right now,” she managed, her teeth chattering with excitement.

  He groaned at her touch, even through his board shorts. “You sure about this?” He looked so serious in the moonlight. “Because I want it more than life right now.”

  “I’m sure. Just hurry.” She was shaking, shivering, panting. She felt like some kind of wild animal, and she didn’t even care. All that mattered was following the beat of the need that had taken over her body.

  He unfastened his shorts, opening the fabric enough to allow his erection to spring out. Her throat nearly closed up at the sight. Proud and upright, thick and hard, he was beautiful and powerful, all in one. Hands shaking, he rolled the condom down his shaft.

  “I’m going to take you right here, right up against this post, and you’re going to come so hard you’ll have to bury your screams against my neck.” He pushed her skirt up and slid his hands under her ass. Anticipating his next move, she wrapped her legs around his hips, so her sex nestled against his erection. The contact nearly made her come right then and there. She rubbed against him, frantic for another taste. Then he was sliding inside her, chasing every last thought to kingdom come. He groaned and muttered in her ear, hot words to match his thrusts. “Tight . . . hot . . . want you . . . fuck you . . . lose your mind . . . bury my cock . . . fuck, Sadie . . . so good . . .”

  He bent his head to her nipple and drew it into his mouth at the same time as he stretched his thumb across her pelvis just far enough to press her clit. She exploded around him, the pleasure forking through her like jagged lightning, like sexual shrapnel. As he’d warned, she burrowed her face against his chest, feeling his collarbone just above her forehead. He kept up his intense rhythm, deep, deeper, using those perfectly honed ass muscles to drive deep. She clenched around him, aftershocks of her orgasm flashing bright. Or maybe it was another orgasm. Or the same one, still going . . . Then he went rigid, a harsh wheeze squeezing from his lungs, spasms rocking his powerful frame.

  “Sweet Jesus,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded against his chest, unable to lift her head. Okay didn’t really describe her state of mind. She and a baseball player had just screwed their brains out in a Hall of Famer’s gazebo. Not only that, she wanted to do it again as soon as she caught her breath.

  She wasn’t sure if that qualified as “Okay” or “Holy shit, what have I done?”

  Chapter 16

  YOU’D THINK THAT the most glorious sex of his life would show in some way. Like it would be scrawled across his forehead in red marker. “Just had mind-blowing sex. Ignore the dumb-ass smile.” But luckily no one seemed to notice anything different as he and Sadie wandered through the crowd around the pool. He didn’t want her reputation to take any more hits because of him.

  He dropped a word here and there to the players he passed, keeping Sadie firmly at his side the entire time. Their experience together had not only blown off the top of his head, sexually speaking, it had also made him deeply protective of her. Feeling her sob in his arms as she spoke about Hamilton made him want to rage against the world and the unworthy men who infested it.

  In his view, no one who dirtied a girl’s reputation—or even talked about having had sex with her—deserved to be called a man.

  Out front, rigs were parked everywhere, in the big circular driveway, on the grass. A few couples were making out, and a couple of the younger players were tossing a football around. The guys right out of high school had more energy than they knew what to do with.

  He knew what to do with his energy. He planned to spend every extra ounce on the mouthwatering girl at his side. Leaning against the side of his Jeep, he tugged her against his hips. He could go again right now, but he didn’t want to scare her off. Or give some horny first year drafts a show. “When can I see you again?”

  Moonlight glinted in her eyes as she tilted her head. “Aren’t you busy with the team?”

  “All-star break. That’s why Crush threw this party.”

  “You aren’t going to the All-Star Game?”

  “No, that would require pitching like an all-star. If they didn’t count the beginning of the season, I might have stood a chance.”

  “You’re an all-star in my book.” She nuzzled his cheek, rubbing her nose across the stubble.

  “Don’t get me going again, woman,” he warned. “When can I see you? And where?”

  She drew away, and they stared at each other blankly. “My mom would faint on the hall carpet if she heard one peep coming from my room.”

  “I intend to make you do more than peep.” Playfully, he nipped at her chin. The buttery texture of her skin made him wild.

  “She’s nervous about me seeing anyone new. When the stuff with Hamilton happened, she took it really hard. It was almost worse for her than for me.”

  He ran his hands up her arms and cupped her shoulders. “I don’t want to worry your mother. But I have no intention of leaving you alone.”

  Even in the moonlight, he saw the flush darken her cheeks. “I don’t want you to,” she said shyly. “But my mom’s home a lot. What about your place?”

  Caleb cursed. “I’ve got Bingo living with me. Like he hasn’t caused enough trouble.”

  Sadie chewed on her lower lip. “What about the ballpark? Are there any secret rooms hidden away anywhere?”

  “Sonny Barnes got caught with his new wife in the storage closet of the training room. Bieberman’s the one who busted them, and he got so embarrassed he messed up three double plays in the next game. I’m not going to take that kind of chance.”

  “Car?” she said dubiously. “Not mine, since you barely fit inside it.”

  “I could spread you open on the hood.”

  He caught her deep shiver, which echoed his own sudden arousal. “Maybe something more private. The lake?”

  “Hell no.” He shook his head impatiently. “Let’s not worry about it now. Leave the details to me. Don’t plan anything for tomorrow night, that’s all.”

  “I won’t. Unless the mayor needs something.”

  “She needs something, all right. I have a feeling Crush has a thing for her.”

  “He’d better get over it. She wouldn’t go out with him in a million years.”

  “You think not? Ballplayers are pretty irresistible. It’s our butts. And the uniforms.”

  “Oh, I see. Are you saying I can’t resist you?” She laughed up at him.

  “Tomorrow night, babe. We’ll put it to the test.”

  He put a lot of thought into how he wanted the night to go. Sadie had been through a lot; he wanted her to forget all her stress and worry. “You said your mama doesn’t want you to see anyone,” he said on the phone when he called to make the date. “I might have a solution to that.”

  “What is it?”

  “Meet me in Room 106 at the Courtyard Suites. I’ll be there at ten.”

  He didn’t need to tell her they shouldn’t show up at the same time. She was just as anxious to keep things secret as he was. He hadn’t forgotten Hamilton’s threat to tell the press about Bingo. Bingo kept fretting about it, but since his advice was to find another girl, Caleb tuned him out.

  No way in hell was he letting some local dickhead keep him away from Sadie. From the start, he’d wanted to get her into his bed, but now his feelings for her went far beyond that. How far? He didn’t want to analyze; he just wanted to enjoy it.

  He arrived at the hotel room first, which gave him a chance to think again about what he was doing. Getting involved with Sadie was going to change things. Distract him from his determination to get
back to the Show. Disrupt his life. He knew it, and yet . . . he couldn’t wait to see her again.

  At about ten-thirty a soft tap at the door scattered all his cautionary thoughts. He ushered her inside, after a quick glance down the corridor to make sure no one had spotted her. He pulled her into his arms and felt his tension ease when she eagerly plastered her sweet body against him. Part of him had worried that she’d let her mother’s fears stop her.

  They kissed, a desperate, thirsty kiss, as if no one had ever before thought of the idea, as if kissing was their own personal stroke of genius.

  “Why is the light off?” she whispered finally, drawing her kiss-swollen lips away from his.

  “You said your mother doesn’t want you to see any boys.”

  “Ha ha. I don’t think a dark hotel room is what she had in mind. Besides, you’re not a boy.”

  “No, I’m not.” He was all man, hard and hungry for her.

  “And I can still see you a little,” she added. “I can see you’re wearing only a towel.”

  He dropped the towel. The tension in the room tightened to a nearly unbearable level.

  “I have a plan for that,” he whispered. He brought her to the bed and sat her down on the edge. “Do you trust me?”

  “Ye-es,” she said hesitantly.

  “You worry so much. I want you to enjoy yourself completely. I think this might help.”

  “What?”

  He picked up a scarf from the bedside table where he’d stashed it. “Just close your eyes and let Big Caleb handle things from here.”

  She burst out laughing, which he ignored. He waited patiently until her head stopped bobbing around, then fastened the scarf over her eyes. “Now tell me that isn’t relaxing. You don’t have to do a thing. We’re completely safe in here. Just sit back and relax and let me worship every inch of your gorgeous body.” He kept whispering as he unbuttoned her blouse and drew it off her shoulders. Underneath, she wore a fire-engine-red bra.

  “Red,” he said, touched. “You thought of me.”

  “Well, only now and then. Like, maybe every two minutes or so.” Her lips curved. He traced their circumference with his finger. Now that her brilliant eyes weren’t taking up his attention, he could focus on her pretty lips. They had a merry curve to them, as if a secret smile was always waiting, ready to bubble over into laughter. And yet she didn’t laugh nearly enough.