Tekgrrl

by A. J. Menden

  “You’ve been cranky since the day we met, Paul, and that was pregovernment and pre-Kate.” I said this half teasingly, but it was true. Paul had been the textbook definition of a stuffed shirt since I first met him.

  “Well, to be brutally honest, no one’s ever respected me,” Paul admitted. “I’ve tried so hard to earn more of a leadership role over the years, to be a true head of this team, but all my efforts get shoved back in my face. Everyone used to look to Rath and not me for guidance off the field. I was just the guy in the battle relaying orders from above. Now history’s repeating itself, though instead of Rath it’s Wesley. I just would think, after all of these years, you all might look to me off the field for once. I think I’ve done a good job.”

  I nodded. “You have, Paul. And I don’t know that it’s a matter of being qualified; everyone just wants to try the direction that the Reincarnist wants to lead us. Absolutely nothing against you or Rath, but we all felt we lost our way as heroes. It’s not that we don’t respect you…”

  “Well, who could blame you if you didn’t? Who respects a guy who can’t keep his girlfriend satisfied?”

  I didn’t know if I wanted to have a conversation with Paul about satisfying anyone, but since he was all of a sudden opening up after sticking his neck out for me, I tried to make him feel better. “Paul…Kate is, well, Kate. We all know that. As you said, she knows she loves you and doesn’t quite get why her poor impulse control would hurt. As much as I like Kate, you have to admit she’s selfish. It’s a god thing.”

  “It just sucks feeling superfluous in your team and your relationship…” He gave me a half smile and shook his head, clearly realizing what he’d said. “I’m sorry to dump all this on you. You didn’t ask for it, and you’ve got your own problems to deal with. They’re much worse than mine.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I like to exchange someone else’s problems for mine once and a while. Keeps my mind clear.” I hesitantly reached out to pat his arm. “And, for what it’s worth, I think you should have left Kate a long time ago.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No. I mean, you were never going to be able to change her, Paul. There was nothing more you could do to make her stay faithful. It wasn’t anything to do with you, really; it’s all her hang-ups. She might be an immortal, but she has the maturity of a three-year-old. She does what she wants and doesn’t think about who it hurts. If she didn’t work so hard at doing good, she’d be a spectacular supervillain. No, Paul, it wasn’t a matter of you not keeping her satisfied, it’s that she’s an emotional bottomless pit.” I took a deep breath and fought a blush that had risen when I realized I was talking ill of a teammate, a woman who at heart I liked. “And now I sound like a daytime television psychologist.”

  “No, you’re right. I know that. I knew it going in. I thought I could change her, and then…well, being with someone who cheats on you messes with your mind, makes you question yourself. But I appreciate what you’re saying.”

  “No problem,” I said, wanting out of this weird conversation. “Consider it the beginning of a payback for sticking up for me in front of the whole United States government.”

  He shrugged. “Like I said, no big deal. I would have done it for anyone.”

  “Wow, Paul, way to make a girl feel appreciated.”

  “Well, what do you want me to say, Mindy? That I’m crazy about you and couldn’t function if you left the team?” He glanced over my shoulder.

  “I wouldn’t go that far—” was all I managed to get out before he acted. He seized my face in his hands and crushed my lips with his. My immediate reaction was one of shock, stiffening and starting to pull away. But then I felt it: a spark. An ember burning deep inside me that started in my stomach and gradually spread through all the rest, singeing my nerve endings with delicious awareness. Maybe it had just been so long since anyone had kissed me, but it was like everything in me was awakening. It felt delicious.

  I moved against him, fitting my body against his, sliding my hands—first raised in protest—against his chest, up around his neck, pulling him in tighter to me. I opened my mouth slightly, and he took the initiative to explore with his tongue. God, who’d known Paul was so hotly aggressive? I kissed him back, savoring the feel of his mouth on mine, the taste of him and the faint scent of his cologne. My head was threatening to spin.

  Whoa. What was happening? Since when did Paul have the ability to turn me on?

  Paul must have been coming to a similar realization, as he slowly, almost reluctantly, gave me my release. He was looking as if he had never seen me before. I blinked rapidly for a few moments, trying to reorient myself to just what was going on.

  “Wow,” I said, my voice thick and almost unrecognizable. “That was…” I trailed off as I noticed him looking over my shoulder. I turned to see Kate standing there, mouth hanging open, staring at both of us. She shook her head as if to make sure we weren’t a mirage; then, when we didn’t go away, she turned and walked off as fast as she could.

  I glanced to Paul. Cold reality was setting back in, slapping down my tingling nerve endings and telling them to shut up. This was freaking Paul I was with, not Luke, and not even some random hottie at a bar. In my normal voice I said, “That was all for her benefit, wasn’t it?”

  He seemed to be at a loss for words. Then he nodded and cleared his throat. “Initially, yes.”

  “Initially?”

  “W-well, I saw her there and thought I’d show her I was moving on, but…you distracted me.”

  “I distracted you how?”

  “You just…you have nice soft lips.” Was it my imagination, or was he turning red? “I mean, you’re a good kisser,” he finished lamely. His eyes darted around the room, like he didn’t want to look at me.

  “Um, thanks.” I didn’t especially want to see him, either. Embarrassment was no fun for either party. “You, too, by the way.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I wouldn’t have expected it.” I didn’t know if I meant the kiss itself, his kissing ability, or my reaction.

  “Me, either.”

  I glanced up. He looked just as awkward as I felt. He fidgeted, didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands or where to look.

  “I think I’m just going to go before this gets any more uncomfortable,” he finished.

  “Okay.”

  “So…yeah.” He straightened his suit jacket and headed toward the door. I stood where I was, watching him, unable to come to terms with what had just happened. Maybe my mind had snapped when the blocks came off and I’d hallucinated those last few moments.

  The door had barely shut behind him before it opened again and he returned, striding with purpose, his mouth narrowed to a thin line of determination. He walked right up to me, seized my waist with his hands and pulled me in for another breath-stealing kiss.

  All my nerve endings crashed to life again in a huge wave of intensity. My brain might have been confused as to how a person that I barely considered a friend under normal circumstances could make my insides melt, but other parts of me decided to override my brain. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, tangling my tongue with his. One of his hands pressed into my back, pulling me tight against him, and the other got lost in my hair. The kiss was messy and imprecise, but it was full of heat and intensity.

  We drew back from each other gasping for air. I leaned a hand on the table to steady myself and dared to meet his eyes. They were dark blue, unfathomable with some expression I wasn’t used to seeing. I looked away.

  “You’re not going to tell anyone about this, are you?” he asked hesitantly.

  “God, no!” I responded automatically, then realized I sounded disgusted when I felt the exact opposite. I softened my tone. “I mean, I don’t even know what ‘this’ is.”

  “Yeah. Me either.” He was switching back to being uncomfortable again. “So, I’ll just…” He motioned to the door and I nodded. He turned and left without another word.


  Waiting until he was gone for good this time, I sagged down onto a chair. The day had just become even more physically and mentally exhausting. And a lot more confusing.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Sleep came to me, but in restless fits and with vague nightmares, whispers in the dark of monsters hiding in shadow. When I finally gave up and decided to rise the next morning, I felt like I had barely slept at all.

  As I sat up in bed, yawning, stretching and trying to get my limbs to work, it occurred to me that Paul had shown up at some point in my endless stretch of alternately strange and terrifying dreams. That realization alone was enough to make me feel awkward, never mind the nightmares. What had happened between us yesterday? Was it emotional fallout from my rediscovered past, me reaching out for someone, anyone, for comfort? Had Paul really been trying to make Kate jealous and simply got a little too into his role? Or was this something else entirely that neither of us were prepared to handle?

  I brushed such thoughts aside and pushed myself up and out of bed. There was nothing between me and Paul, of all people. We had both been suffering from personal and team crises and had shared a weak moment. That was all. I would get up today and our relationship would be strictly professional.

  Maybe it was in reaction to my memories, a defense mechanism to once again rebel, to hide the pain even from myself, or perhaps it was in reaction to the weirdness with Paul, but I found myself pulling out an old and pleated black miniskirt and knee-high boots. I added a soft blue sweater that made my eyes stand out but was also a bit conservative. It was a mix of the old and new me.

  Satisfied, I headed outside of my room and about ran into Kate, who seemed to be lying in wait.

  I took a step back. “Kate. Hi. What’s up?”

  Even though she was dressed as usual to the nines, in a bright red silk kimono dress with matching lipstick, she looked a little less like herself. There was something hiding in her eyes, a sadness or pain that seemed to permeate her aura. Today she seemed tired and ancient and trying to hide it.

  “Hello, Mindy,” she said, and gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Had Paul’s jab really worked? “I just wanted to speak with you in private for a moment.”

  “Sure.” I gestured around the silent corridor. No one was close. “Go ahead.”

  “I just wanted to say that I know I wasn’t a good girlfriend for Paul,” she remarked. The words hit me like a blunt object. “And I’m happy he’s moving on.”

  “Uh-huh…” I didn’t know what to say. After all, making Kate jealous was the whole point of Paul kissing me. Should I admit to the truth and undo the whole thing?

  Kate continued: “I don’t want you to feel awkward around me at all. We’re grown-ups here. After all, this isn’t the first time one of my exes has moved on to someone else on the team.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said. It was amazing how Kate could somehow turn the fact that she’d had so many exes into bragging. Only Kate.

  “And I couldn’t be happier for you and Paul,” she continued, giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder.

  I grimaced. This was going too far. Paul could just deal with the fallout. “Kate, I’ve got to be honest. There is no me and Paul.”

  “So it’s all about the sex.” Seeing the shocked look on my face, she added quickly, “Oh, it’s okay, I understand completely. You both have needs and this is a stressful job. And after everything you’ve been through, Mindy, I can understand that you might need a release, someone in your bed to chase away those nightmares. Trust me, you live long enough, you find you always can use a distraction. And Paul might look like just another boring, staid academic type, but he’s something else in the bedroom, am I right?”

  She said the last in a joking, we’re all girls here tone, like we were characters on that sitcom about overly sexed women, which was about the last thing I wanted to hear this morning.

  “No, Kate. No, no, no.” I rubbed my brow, already starting to feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. This was too much, too early, and without coffee.

  She misunderstood my dismay. “Oh, well, Mindy, you know sometimes men in their forties need a bit of help getting started. There are pills for that.”

  “Jesus, no!” I practically shrieked. “There is no me and Paul, sexually or otherwise. We’re just coworkers, that’s all. Coworkers. What you saw was a total mistake.”

  She studied me for a moment, then grinned and winked. “Oh, don’t worry, Mindy. I won’t say a thing to the others. I’ll keep my big mouth shut for a change. I know I’ve gotten a reputation around here for being a blabbermouth, but I can keep a secret.”

  I gave up. “Thanks, Kate.” Paul wanted her to believe he had moved on, so as long as she didn’t blab to the others, he could be the one to try to explain things to her. “I really don’t want anyone to know about the incident you witnessed.”

  She smiled. “I won’t say anything for now, Mindy.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I practically shrieked. I knew it! Kate was such a blabbermouth; she was probably going to want cappuccinos and shoes to buy her silence.

  “It’s going to start becoming apparent to everyone that you two are involved,” she explained.

  “What are you talking about?” I said, but then shut my mouth as Paul appeared. “Hi!” I squeaked in an overly bright tone.

  “Mindy.” He barely gave me a glance. So much for chemistry. It was like yesterday had never happened. “I need to speak with you a moment.”

  “I’m sure you do.” Kate winked at me, then looked down at the delicate watch on her wrist. “I should go get ready; I have an interview with one of those entertainment gossip shows.”

  “I canceled that,” Paul said.

  She whirled on him, mouth twisted into a frown. “What? Why did you do that?”

  “We need to regroup and figure out what we’re going to say to the media as a team. All press contact is on hiatus.”

  “It was the cover story!”

  “There will be other cover stories. And you were on the cover of every major magazine in February. How much more publicity do you need, Kate?”

  She gave him a nasty look. “I’m going to see what Wesley says about this.” Then she sauntered off down the hall like a runway model; and why not? She probably inspired their signature walks anyway.

  Paul nodded to me. “See? It’s what I said. My words carry no weight.”

  “I think that her reaction is more personal than professional,” I said. “She’s trying to stick it to you like you did her.” Realizing too late how that sounded, I stammered, “I-I mean…”

  “I know what you meant.” He looked off in the direction Kate had walked, then back at me. “I was coming to see you, actually. I wanted to talk. It’s about yesterday.”

  “Kate thinks we’re having an affair,” I blurted. “I tried to tell her we’re not, but she wouldn’t believe me.”

  “I can’t blame her after what she witnessed,” Paul muttered.

  “What?” I was sure I had misunderstood.

  “That’s what she was meant to think. I mean, originally that’s why I kissed you, only…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Look, this wasn’t what I came here to talk to you about, but since the topic’s out, can we just forget yesterday ever happened?”

  I was surprised I felt stung. One minute he was practically pawing at me, and now he wanted to erase it from his mind completely? “No problem. I forgot already.”

  “Great.” He physically sagged with relief.

  “It wasn’t that memorable anyway,” I said.

  His sharp blue eyes cut into me and then away. “Right. My thoughts exactly.”

  Ouch. I inwardly winced, but I guess I deserved that. That’s what you got for smarting off.

  “No, what I came to talk to you about is that Wesley and I discussed it, and we want to make sure you’re physically sound.”

  “Not more hospital tests!” I groaned.

  “We were
thinking of having Wesley do a quick scan on you with the help of the machines in our infirmary. Then, if everything seems to be proceeding okay, he and I will both work on helping you learn to control your new powers. Neither of us are telekinetic, but as I said, I have experience learning how to control powers received late in life, and Wesley’s had years of experience training the newly powered.”

  “Centuries,” I mused.

  He gave me a half smile. “Exactly. So I came to fetch you to get started.”

  “Right now?”

  “No time like the present. We’ve got other troubles to worry about, of course, but since you couldn’t wait to take those blocks down until after the government mess, we’ve got to take care of you now.”

  I’ll say this: All of these snide comments between the two of us were making it easy to get back onto professional ground.

  I followed Paul into our infirmary, where Wesley was typing on a data pad near the large, cold metal slab in the center of the room. In his jeans and an EHJ-logo T-shirt, his dress was a stark contrast to Paul’s suit pants and dress shirt under a starched white lab coat.

  He looked up as we came in and gave me a reassuring smile. “I promise this won’t take long, Mindy. I just want to double-check.”

  “It’s okay, I understand.” I walked over to the table and slid up on it, careful not to flash too much bare thigh in my ascent. Was it my imagination, or did Paul’s gaze linger on my legs as I crossed my knees? “I’m a liability now: the girl who could go crazy at any moment.” I smoothed down my skirt, feeling self-conscious.

  This time I saw Paul tear his gaze away from my legs with a frown. “We just need physical proof of your fitness for duty,” he said. “Just in case.”

  I made out with you yesterday, I wanted to say. I think that proves I’m mentally incompetent. But I kept my big mouth shut and lay down on the table.

  Paul adjusted the machine arm hanging next to the table so that it hovered right over my head. Reaching over to the data pad, he typed in a few keystrokes.