Reapers and Bastards: A Reapers MC Anthology

by Joanna Wylde

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, but I’d had enough.

  “Get me the fucking paper towels,” I yelled. “And make up the cleaning shit!”

  She ran into the house, returning less than a minute later with a roll of paper towels. I shoved my cut at her, snatching the towels and plastic garbage bag out of her hands in an awkward shuffle. Marie disappeared back inside, still gagging.

  Leaning down, I started blotting the dog. You’d think my sense of smell would have deadened by now. No such luck. The towels soaked up the oily spray, which seemed to have hit the dog square in the face, transferring it to my fingers in the process. My eyes watered and I wondered how well the stupid mixture Marie was fixing would actually work.

  This fucking sucked.

  “Here’s the cleaner,” Marie said, stepping back outside. She carried a large glass measuring bowl that had a handle and spout. A milky, watery mixture sloshed inside, along with two kitchen sponges.

  “Bring it here,” I snapped, wondering if I’d ever get the taste of skunk out of my mouth. Marie set it on the ground next to me, kneeling as she grabbed a sponge and raised it to Ariel’s sad face.

  “The article said to be careful of his eyes,” she told me, starting on his nose. I picked up the other sponge and started working on his ear. This wasn’t exactly made easier by him slithering around on his back, as if our attempts to clean him were the cruelest torture in history.

  “I’m being careful,” I replied through gritted teeth, squeezing the sponge. The mix squirted out of it, straight toward his eye. Marie glared at me, reaching for a paper towel to dab around the area. The dog blinked, but thankfully he seemed to have closed his eyes in time. Marie gagged again.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I demanded. “It’s a fucking skunk, deal with it.”

  “It’s making me feel sick,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. Great, now she was getting pissy? I was the victim here. “It smells bad, okay? I can’t help it.”

  “You don’t see me puking,” I snarled. Ariel moaned.

  “You’re scaring the dog!”

  Oh, fuck her.

  “I come home to find you cheated on me, and now you’re giving me a lecture?”

  Marie’s mouth dropped.

  “Excuse me?” she asked, her voice a dangerously low whisper.

  “You heard what I said.”

  “You fucking asshole,” she sneered, shaking her head slowly. “I didn’t cheat on you, Horse. Although maybe I should, since you obviously don’t trust me for shit. Of course, attracting another guy might be a little difficult, seeing as I’m currently carrying your child.”

  The bottom dropped out of my stomach. Marie nodded slowly, a nasty smile twisting her mouth. “Yeah, you heard me right. I’m the pregnant one and you’re the asshole. So, far as I know, neither of us is a cheater, although I find it a little unnerving that that’s the first place your mind went. It’s been a weird day, Horse. I took the test about half an hour before you got home—after puking my guts out for the last ten hours. It’s a bit of a mind fuck, and I was trying to figure out the best way to tell you, since we’d agreed that we would wait a couple more years. Surprise, Horse. You’re gonna be a daddy.”

  Then she flipped me off and I had to concede the point.

  I was a total asshole.

  “You’re seriously pregnant?” I asked slowly, sitting back on my heels. The anger had disappeared, but the adrenaline still swirled around me, making it impossible to think.

  “Yes,” Marie said, rinsing out her sponge as she started working down Ariel’s side carefully. “Can you help me get him up? We have to get his back, and I’m worried he’ll grind the oils in if he keeps doing this.”

  I stared at her blankly. “We need to talk.”

  Marie rolled her eyes.

  “No shit. I think I mentioned something about that, remember?”

  I winced, thinking about what I’d said to her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “And I’m cleaning a dog covered in skunk oils that have another two or three minutes before they set in,” she replied pointedly. “You know, your dog? Stop just sitting there and help clean Ariel.”

  “He’s your dog, too,” I protested, then shut my eyes, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I couldn’t think. There was a baby inside Marie. My baby. Holy fuck, there was gonna be a baby coming out of her and it would be my kid.

  Mine.

  I pictured her holding a little pink infant, nursing it in the living room while I stood over them protectively. The thought of it was enough to cut through the fog, and I had a sudden, magnificent realization.

  “Your tits are gonna get huge,” I blurted out.

  Marie sat back, blinking at me.

  “You accuse me of cheating while we’re scrubbing skunk off the dog, I tell you you’re going to be a father, and all you can think about are my tits?”

  I shook my head at her slowly. “Marie, babe . . . you know I think about your tits all the time.”

  Ariel snorted and the stench rose thick between us. Marie shook her head slowly, and for long seconds I thought I was screwed. Then I caught the first hint of a smile. A real smile.

  “You’re hopeless,” she said quietly.

  “I know what I like,” I countered, grinning back at her. “You’re gorgeous, you know—it fucks with my head, and I’m kind of a moron to begin with. How far along are you?”

  “I think about ten weeks, although I’m not totally sure. I had my last two periods, but they were really light. Spotting, more than anything. That threw me off.”

  “This is amazing,” I said, feeling my stupid smile getting bigger. My baby. I wondered if the kid would be a boy or girl. Fuck, did it matter? “Christ, I love you.”

  Leaning forward over the dog, I tried to kiss her. Panic crossed her face, and then she was turning again, gagging and heaving.

  “You have morning sickness,” I realized. She ignored me, and Ariel whined, staring at us with big, sad eyes. I needed to get moving. If we didn’t get the dog clean, the smell would stick around for weeks—Marie couldn’t handle that.

  Not with morning sickness.

  “Go inside,” I told her. “Just strip off your clothes out here and I’ll take care of them. Clean up and go to bed—you need rest.”

  She pushed herself up and rolled her eyes, weak but determined.

  “No, I want to help you,” she said. “Despite you being a dumbass, we’re in this together. If you smell, I smell.”

  “You’re crazy,” I said bluntly. “No sane person chooses skunk over bed, so get those clothes off and go inside. My baby hates skunk smell. Don’t fuck it up for him.”

  Marie laughed.

  “And how would you know that?” she asked, raising a brow.

  “Everyone hates skunk smell. Just go . . . be pregnant somewhere. Wherever it smells the least.”

  Marie rolled her eyes.

  “Horse?”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s not even nine p.m. yet,” she pointed out gently. “I’m knocked up, not a hundred years old. And you need help—we’re running out of time.”

  Fuck. I looked down at the dog, whose mouth lolled open in a grin. Then his tongue caught a taste of the skunk-cleanser mix, and suddenly he was twisting his head around, smacking his lips, trying to get rid of it.

  “I’m killing you when we’re done here,” I told him.

  Ariel gave me an anxious whine.

  Marie laughed, grabbing her sponge as she started scrubbing again. I wanted to push the point with her, but she was right—we were out of time—so I grabbed my own sponge. I lifted it to the dog’s side, watching as it bubbled up through his fur, hopefully taking the stink out with it. My mind was still racing, though.

  Marie was pregnant.

  I’d been a jealous asshole.

  Babies were scary.

  Marie’s tits were gonna get huge.

  “You’re thinking about my boobs again,
aren’t you?” she asked.

  I looked up at her, busted. “No.”

  She raised a brow, and I shrugged because of course I was thinking about her boobs, and we both knew it.

  “It’s okay—I’m kind of excited about it, too.”

  “Then why were you crying?” I asked, suddenly remembering what she’d looked like when I’d come in. “You do want the baby, don’t you?”

  “Of course I want the baby,” she said, her face puzzled. “And I didn’t even realize I was crying. Must’ve been the hormones or something. But I was nervous about telling you—this isn’t what we planned.”

  I shrugged.

  “Waiting was your plan, not mine. I just wanted you to be ready before we started trying, that’s all.”

  “So you’re ready to be a daddy?” she asked, looking up at me. “Because it’s a big deal . . . Everything is going to change for us.”

  “Life is change,” I pointed out. “And I like the idea of you all big and round with my kid in you—it’s cute.”

  Marie frowned. “I’m gonna get fat.”

  Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

  “Carrying a baby is not the same as getting fat,” I pointed out reasonably. “And I think it’s sexy.”

  “You get turned on by pregnant chicks?” she asked, her voice dry. “I know you’re a perv, but this is a new one. How long have you had this fetish?”

  Dipping my sponge back into the mix, I laughed.

  “Don’t worry, it’s recent—specific to you. I’m fuckin’ crazy about you, babe. You know that, right?”

  Marie smiled at me, and I swear to God, she started glowing like some pregnant lady cliché, right in front of me. Beautiful. My beautiful, beautiful girl . . .

  “I love you,” I said, my voice dead serious.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered back. “I even love your dog. But let’s get him clean, sound good?”

  Nodding, I agreed, although the smell wasn’t even bothering me that much anymore. How could it, after getting news like this?

  _______

  By the time we finished, we reeked. Both of us.

  I had a feeling it was worse than we realized, because I’m pretty sure at least half the nerves in my nose had committed suicide. Our clothes were outside in the plastic garbage bag, along with the paper towels and the sponges. I’d wanted to throw away the bowl, too, just on general principles, but Marie wouldn’t let me.

  Apparently pregnancy can make women stubborn.

  “I can’t believe I didn’t think of closing the windows,” Marie mumbled around a mouthful of toothpaste as I stepped out of the shower. She sat on the toilet, still wrapped in a towel from her own shower. Normally we’d clean up together, but tonight she was obviously exhausted, and I wasn’t sure I could handle a slippery, naked Marie without fucking her. Hell, I was so tired I’d probably drop her or something. Not that being exhausted had ever slowed me down before, but things had changed.

  There were three of us now.

  Right on cue, I felt that dumbass grin take over my face again.

  “It’s not that bad, we can handle it,” I said, shrugging. She raised a brow.

  “Go into the bedroom, and then tell me that again.”

  I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out into the hallway, heading toward our room. As soon as I opened the door, I realized she was right—we’d fucked up. The windows had been open on all three sides when the skunk hit, and now the place was so thick with stench that you could practically see toxic green tendrils hanging in the air. The windows were still wide open, which I guess made sense at this point—the damage was done.

  Fucking great.

  Walking over to the dresser, I found a pair of briefs and pulled them on, followed by jeans and a shirt. Then I grabbed one of Marie’s pretty panty and bra sets (damn, but I loved those) and a sundress before heading back to the bathroom.

  “Here you go,” I told her, setting them on the counter. Then I turned away, because the last thing she needed was me shoving my dick in her face. (And now I was thinking about my cock in her mouth . . . Fucking great—I officially had the worst timing on earth.) “I settled Ariel out in the barn for the night. We’re gonna go get a hotel room.”

  “We don’t need to do that.”

  She stood up, and I turned to find her dressed.

  “You’re knocked up, you puked all day, and the house smells like a skunk died in it. We’re getting a hotel room.”

  Marie walked over to me, then wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against my chest.

  “Are we really okay?” she asked, her voice a whisper.

  I hugged her back, running one hand up and down her back.

  “No, we aren’t okay,” I said softly. “We’re trapped in a skunk house full of toxic fumes. But once we get away from here, I think things will be perfect. And just think about what a great story we’ll have to tell the kiddo.”

  Her hand slipped down to my ass, giving it a squeeze, and I groaned.

  “Speaking of, you sure you don’t wanna celebrate the baby before we head out?”

  Groaning, I caught her butt and pulled her into me, rubbing my dick against her stomach. God, I wanted to be inside her . . . Then it hit me—my kid was inside her, too. Right next to where I planned to shove my cock. I jerked away, because that was a mind fuck I wasn’t quite ready for. Shit. I’d have to find a way to wrap my brain around that.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, frowning. I shook my head, realizing this wasn’t a conversation we needed to have just yet.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” I said quickly, staring down into her face. Her brown eyes were deep and her beautiful, curly brown hair was hanging around her face and across her shoulders. God, but I loved this woman. Right on cue, my dick made its needs known, and I realized that wrapping my head around things might not be so difficult after all . . . I just needed to let the right head do the thinking.

  I grinned, leaning over to kiss the tip of Marie’s nose. Then I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the stairs. The sooner we found a room, the sooner we could celebrate. “C’mon. Let’s get the hell out of here. I’ve had enough of being skunked.”

  Marie’s Emergency Skunk Solution

  NOTE: Don’t let the dog wait in the house while you mix up the solution. Seriously. Also, some people (Mr. Wylde among them) feel that cleaning up after a skunk goes a little more smoothly if you have a very strong drink available. Straws help, allowing for hands-free access.

  Supplies

  Rubber gloves, preferably long ones

  Paper towels (or tissues in a pinch)

  Plastic garbage bags

  Ingredients

  1 quart hydrogen peroxide

  ¼ cup baking soda

  1 tablespoon liquid dish soap

  Preparation

  Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Put on gloves and use paper towels to blot as much skunk oil off the dog as possible, throwing them into the plastic bag as soon as you finish. Do your best not to allow the dog to brush against you or transfer the oils. Using a washcloth or sponge, gently rinse the hydrogen peroxide mixture through the dog’s fur two times, mixing up more as needed. (Avoid the dog’s eyes, and flush with water if the mix gets into the eyes.) Rinse the dog with water thoroughly. You will notice that he still smells like wet dog and a bit skunky, but it will be a huge improvement (when a skunk first sprays, the smell is so powerful that it burns your eyes and nose). Remove your clothing and dispose of gloves while still outside, if possible.

  Allow dog to sleep in garage, enclosed porch, or bathroom (somewhere well ventilated and safe, but not part of the main section of your house). By morning, the dog will be dry and very little skunk scent will be noticeable.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a prequel short story about the first time Melanie and Painter met. Their book, Reaper’s Fall, will be published on Nov. 10, 2015. “Sugar and Spice” takes place one year before the beginning of Reaper’s Fall, agai
nst the background of action from Reaper’s Stand. I thought you might enjoy reading it.

  Sugar and Spice

  MELANIE

  I fell for Levi “Painter” Brooks the first time I saw him, although in all fairness I did have a head injury at the time.

  It was a weird start to a relationship, too.

  You see, I blew up a house.

  It wasn’t on purpose, and in my defense I’d had a really shitty day. My mom had taken off earlier in the week. Just up and left while I was at work on Monday, and she never came back. Neither me or my dad heard a thing from her, and while she’d always been sort of flaky, she’d never done anything like this before. By Wednesday night, I broke down and asked him if we should report her missing to the police.

  He’d thrown his beer bottle at me, shouting about how “the whore” must’ve gotten herself a new man. She’d left me because I was nothing, just like she was nothing.

  Then he’d told me to go buy him more beer. I decided to call Loni instead.

  Not long afterward, I blew up her house.

  ________

  London Armstrong was my best friend’s aunt. Jessica and I had been tight for years, and as my own mother drifted further and further from reality, they’d become my second family. She’d told me to head on over to her place and let myself in, that she’d see me later that night. I went over there and made myself some macaroni and cheese on her gas stove.

  A couple hours later the house exploded.

  Gas leak.

  Nobody said it was my fault, but I knew it had to be. I’d been the last one to use the stove, so there you have it. Anyway, fate has a weird sense of humor, because that’s how I met Painter. The next day, I mean. At the hospital.

  He gave me a lift on his motorcycle, and I fell in love. God I was young. Young and stupid.

  ________

  “I sort of thought you meant a car when you said you’d give me a ride home,” I whispered, staring at the tall, beautiful, terrifyingly perfect man standing in front of a shiny black Harley with custom gold trim. He’d been introduced to me as Painter, and apparently he was part of the same motorcycle club as Loni’s new boyfriend, Reese.