James rolled his eyes. “Hey, I did what my woman wanted this time.”
“You’re a good boy,” Ally said before turning back to Finn. “He’s the bad one.”
“It’s a lot to deal with, Ally,” Finn said. “I’m going to be a father.”
“And you were raised to know what a good father is,” Ally said. “You know how to be a good man, so stop being a bad one.”
“I’m being a good man,” Finn said. “I’m stepping up. I’m taking care of my responsibilities.”
“Your responsibilities?”
“Yes.”
“You love her,” Ally said. “You haven’t said it, but I know you do. I’ve known since the moment I saw her. I knew she was your match. She was so pretty, and so kind, and she was so patient. She was you, just in a prettier wrapping.”
Finn dropped his head into his hands, miserable. “I do love her.”
“Then tell her,” Ally said. “And you tell her with flowers and a nice dinner. That woman’s doctor thinks she’s starving. She needs to feed herself and the baby. You tell her you love her, and it’s not just because of the baby. You tell her that she’s your soul mate. You tell her that, even without the baby, you’ve always loved her. And then, when she doesn’t believe you, tell her again.”
“I love her, Ally,” Finn said.
“She’s going to need extra convincing,” Ally said. “She’s going through hell. Her hormones are a mess. She’s crying one second and lashing out the next. She can’t help herself. It’s not her fault.”
“She’s been crying for two weeks,” Finn said.
“That’s not her fault.”
“I didn’t say it was,” Finn protested. “I just thought … I thought she was crying because she wanted to break up with me and didn’t know how to do it.”
Ally sighed. “I forget how sensitive you are sometimes,” she said. “You’re like a woman when you want to be. She’s an actual woman, though. You need to be the man.”
“What should I do?”
“I already told you what to do,” Ally said. “You’ve got to be really convincing, Finn. She needs it. She’s so sad.”
“What if she doesn’t believe me?”
Ally shrugged. “That’s not an option, so you need to start practicing now. I know you love her. Now make her believe you love her – and don’t screw it up!”
Ten
Finn’s arms were full of food and flowers when he let himself into Emma’s apartment. It was quiet – too quiet. He was nervous. What if she hadn’t come home? He’d been bolstering himself all afternoon. He knew what had to be done. More importantly, he knew what he wanted to do. Now he just needed the woman he loved to feel safe.
He was ready.
“Emma?”
The apartment remained quiet.
Her car had been in the parking lot. Finn was relatively sure she was here. Wherever she was, she was hiding. And, if Ally was to be believed, she was sad. Finn didn’t want her sad. The only thing he wanted in this world was to make her smile.
“Emma?”
She appeared in the hallway, exiting the bathroom in her standard bedroom fare – fuzzy sleep pants and a tank top – and fixing him with a piteous look. “What are you doing here?”
Finn faltered. “What do you mean?”
“I figured you’d be at your apartment tonight.”
Finn set the food and flowers down on the small dinette table. “Why did you think that?”
Emma’s face, devoid of makeup, was pale and drawn. “We don’t have to do this.”
“What don’t we have to do?”
“I know what you’re here to say,” Emma said, moving down the hallway and brushing past him as she headed toward the kitchen. “I don’t need to hear you say it.”
“I think you do.”
Emma blew out a sigh. “Okay, then I’ll say it for you,” she said. “You’re here to tell me that you’re going to take care of us. You’re here to say that you’ll love the baby, and you’ll be a good father. You’re here to say that you care about me, but you don’t think that forever is in the cards for us. You want me to know that you’ll give me money for the baby, and we’ll work something out regarding custody. You really want me to know that you won’t abandon the baby. I get it. You can go now.”
Finn’s heart jumped. “Is that what you really think?”
“It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
Finn took a step toward her, cringing when he saw her take a step back. “Some of it is the truth,” Finn said, forcing himself to remain still. “The rest of it is total bullshit.”
Emma lifted her head. “What’s bullshit?”
“Everything you’re scared of is bullshit,” Finn said, tugging on the courage he’d been storing up all afternoon. “You’re scared I don’t love you.”
“You don’t.”
“I’ve loved you since the beginning,” Finn said. “I’ve loved you since … I’ve loved you since I saw you.”
“Don’t, Finn.”
“It’s the truth,” he said. “I saw you in that stupid bikini, and I fell in love with your body. I saw the mistrustful look you shot in my direction, and I fell in love with your face. I heard the angry things you said to me, and I fell in love with your mind. I’ve loved you from that first day, Emma.”
Emma pursed her lips.
“Don’t you dare speak,” Finn warned. “I’m nowhere near done.”
Emma crossed her arms over her chest, inching her chin up as she regarded him. She was waiting now. This was his chance.
“I was scared to tell you,” Finn said. “I wanted to say it that first night we were together. I thought you would run, so I didn’t. You know, my brothers have always been the macho ones. When James started telling Mandy he loved her I was … stunned. I always knew I was meant to love one woman, but I never thought I could while my brothers clung to their … ways.
“Before Mandy, James didn’t give a shit about women,” Finn continued. “He’d romance them for a night, and then walk away. When Mandy came into the picture, he was … different. Right from the start. I never believed in love at first sight, but he loved her the minute he saw her.
“I pushed it out of my mind,” he said. “I figured it was a fluke. I thought Mandy was magic, and she’d somehow managed to cast a spell over James. I didn’t believe in forever. Then Grady met Sophie. He definitely wasn’t a forever guy. As soon as he met her, though, he was done.
“Did I ever tell you about the first time they were together?” Finn asked.
Emma shook her head.
“Someone sent her a threatening email, and she was worried,” Finn said. “Grady wasn’t at the office that day. I went back to her house with her. When Grady showed up, he was all about … marking his territory. He thought I was interested in her. I saw him that day and knew.”
“What did you know?”
“That she was his forever,” Finn said. “After that, watching James and Mandy … and Grady and Sophie … was like torture for me. I was always the one who wanted someone to love, and yet I was alone. Then I found you, and everything fit together. Everything clicked. I wanted you the second I saw you.
“I was mean to you,” Emma said, her voice small.
“Your words were mean, but your heart was so fragile I wanted to wrap myself around it and protect it forever,” Finn said. “I knew you were different, and I knew you had more love to give than I could ever deserve. I’ve always loved you, Emma.”
“You never told me you loved me,” she said. “You’re only saying it now because of the baby.”
“I’m not going to pretend that the baby didn’t surprise me,” Finn said. “I’ve always wanted a family. I’ve always wanted a family with my soul mate. You’re my soul mate, Emma. Sure, we’re getting a family a little sooner than I expected, but that doesn’t change anything. I loved you then, and I love you now.”
Emma’s face contorted. “I want to believe you, but you … you can
’t possibly love me.”
“You don’t love yourself, Emma,” Finn said. “I can’t fix that if you don’t give me a chance. I’m a coward, and I can’t mend the harm I’ve done. We can only move forward.”
Finn took a step in her direction.
“You don’t want a baby,” Emma said, although she didn’t move away. “You’ve never mentioned having kids.”
“We’ve never talked about anything serious,” Finn countered. “Not like this. I’m scared to talk about serious things with you because I’m terrified it will bring up memories of your past. That’s another coward trait, I’m afraid. I decided to just let things ride out of fear of upsetting you. I’m not going to do that again.”
“What if you decide you don’t like me?”
“It’s too late for that,” Finn said. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing ever could. I know you’re going to have doubts, and I know you’re going to need me to constantly reinforce that love. I understand I’ve created this situation. I’m ready to be the man you need me to be.”
“You’ve always been the man I needed,” Emma said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’ve never known love like I feel when I’m with you.”
Finn’s shoulders relaxed, relief washing over him. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” Emma said. “I fought so hard not to love you, but I do. I can’t … I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“You don’t have to,” Finn said, closing the gap between them. “There is no you without me, and vice versa. We’re an us, and we’re starting a family. It’s you, me … and … baby.”
Emma sank into his arms, letting Finn hold her close. He rubbed the back of her head as he kissed her temple. “I love you, Emma. Never doubt that. Never.”
“I love you, too.”
Finn’s mouth found hers, home and family welcoming him into happiness. He cupped the back of her head, supporting her body as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. It had been too long. Between his doubts, her mood swings, and her mother’s sudden arrival, Finn and Emma hadn’t basked in each other in almost two weeks.
Tonight was a new beginning.
“I love you, Emma,” he repeated, Ally’s words taking hold. “I love you.”
“Make love to me,” Emma said. “I … I need to feel you.”
Finn nodded, lifting her in his arms. “Feel me, sweetheart, because I love you, and I need you to feel it.”
Emma wrapped her legs around Finn’s waist, resting her weight on him as he carried her to the bedroom. Dinner and flowers were forgotten on the tabletop. Something else was on the menu tonight. What Emma needed now was reinforcement, and Finn was up to the task.
He lowered her onto the mattress, pulling her shirt off and kissing her tender neck. “I love you, Emma.” He was going to say it until he drilled it into her beautiful head. He fumbled with her bra, relieved when it sprang free. Now that he was looking at her body, even in dim light, he was surprised he hadn’t noticed the changes. Her breasts already seemed fuller – and they were impressive to begin with. Her body was softer, and with the building passion between them, he couldn’t stop running his hands over the welcoming flesh. “I love you, Emma.”
Finn lowered his mouth to her rigid nipple, sucking the bud into his mouth and rolling his tongue over the excited flesh. Her moan of appreciation was more than enough to spur him on.
“Oh,” Emma groaned. “That feels … wow … my nipples are so sensitive.”
Finn smiled, continuing his ministrations. He pressed her breasts together, allowing himself easier access so he could switch between them at will. Emma’s back arched as the tactile sensation overwhelmed her.
“Oh, seriously, I … wow.”
Pregnancy might be fun after all, Finn mused. He increased his efforts, sucking hard one second and releasing the pressure the next. Emma was writhing beneath him. “Oh, make love to me. Oh.”
Finn pulled away long enough to yank his shirt over his head and shed his pants and boxer shorts. He tugged Emma’s pajama bottoms down, relieved to find that she was bare underneath them.
Even now, even a year later, seeing Emma naked was a revelation. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said. “I love you, Emma.”
Tears were leaking out of the corners of Emma’s brown eyes. “I love you,” she sobbed.
Finn spread her thighs with his hands, massaging the tight flesh with his thumbs. He exhaled heavily, blowing her moist mound to stimulate her. He was enjoying every moan, reveling in every tremble, loving with every caress. This was his woman. This was his life. This was his future. This was his forever.
He lowered his mouth, licking her with a flattened tongue and earnest hunger. She even tasted different now. She was always sweet, but now she was divine. He could never get enough of her. Never. This was only the beginning.
Finn attacked her enthusiastically, her hands tangling in his hair as her thighs spread wider.
“Oh, I’ve never felt anything like this,” Emma said. “I … my whole body is tingling.”
When Emma came a few seconds later, it was like an eruption. Her shoulders leaped up from the mattress, and her guttural cries were like a symphony. Finn refused to move his mouth until her tremors subsided.
When she was done, he climbed up her body. He captured her mouth again, sliding inside of her with one swift movement. He needed her as much as she needed him. They were becoming one tonight, and they would never separate.
“Oh, God,” Emma moaned, her fingers digging into the flesh across Finn’s strong back. “Oh … oh … oh … oh.”
Finn gained his rhythm. He was just as excited as she was. Her joy was spurring him onward. “I love you.” He thrust hard. “I love you.” He thrust harder. “I love you.” He filled her completely.
When Finn exploded, Emma convulsed around him at the same time. Their cries intermixed, and euphoria lit up the dim room.
Finn collapsed on top of her, his breath ragged. “I love you, Emma,” he murmured, burying his face in the hollow between her neck and her shoulder. “I love you forever.”
“I love you,” Emma whispered, tears running down her cheeks. “I love you forever.”
Eleven
When Finn woke the next morning, Emma was naked and snuggled in his arms. He took the opportunity to look her over in the morning light as it wafted through the bedroom window shades. She looked better. Rest had erased the dark hollows beneath her eyes, and emotional release had returned the glow to her cheeks.
As if she sensed him looking at her, Emma stirred. “Morning,” she mumbled.
“Good morning, sweetie,” Finn said, kissing her forehead.
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten.”
Emma stiffened. “It’s so late. I never sleep this late.” She moved to pull away, but Finn held her tight.
“Stay here with me this morning,” Finn said. “I want to … be with you for a little while.”
“What about work?”
“James isn’t expecting me today.”
“He’s not?” Emma seemed surprised.
“He knew we needed some time,” Finn said. “I plan on taking that time. It’s just you and me today – and we’re not getting out of bed.”
Emma smiled. “What if I have stuff that needs to be taken care of?”
“You’ll survive,” Finn replied. Emma pressed her lips to his bare chest, and Finn could see her mind working as she considered his suggestion. “I still love you, Emma.”
Emma exhaled heavily. “Am I that transparent?”
“I think we’ve had an emotional couple of days,” he said. “If you need to hear it again, I’m happy to tell you again.” He kissed her, lingering over her lips for an extended stay. “And again. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Emma said, tightening her arms around his waist as she fought off tears.
“Please tell me you’re just crying because you’re hormonal.”
>
“I am.”
“Good,” Finn said. “It’s going to take me a while to figure out what’s what, but I don’t want you crying because you’re upset.”
Emma sniffled. “Okay.”
Finn fought the urge to smile. Finding delight in a woman’s tears shouldn’t be allowed, but it was hard to keep from grinning. She was so cute.
“Okay, waterworks,” he said, keeping his arms around her as he rolled onto his back and situated her on his chest. “We need to start making some plans.”
“What kind of plans?”
“Well, first off, we need a new place to live,” he said. “My apartment is smaller than this one, and this one is definitely too small for a baby.”
“You want to us to move in together?” Emma’s voice was squeaky.
“We’re already living together, Emma,” Finn said. “We’ve been living together since the first night we slept together. We haven’t been apart since.”
“But … .”
“We’re officially moving in together,” Finn said. “I’m not asking, I’m telling. We’re together. We’re having a family. We’re living under the same roof.”
“You’re kind of bossy,” Emma said.
“Only when it’s necessary.”
“I … well, okay. Where are we going to move?”
“That is the question, isn’t it,” Finn said, rubbing lazy circles across Emma’s bare shoulders. “Do you want to stay out in this area?”
“Can’t we just stay in this complex?”
“I wasn’t happy about this complex when Mandy was living here,” Finn said. “I didn’t like it that you were here either, but since I was always staying here with you, I let it go. I don’t want a baby here. There’s not a playground, and those ponds are deep enough for a child to drown in.”
“Wow, look at you,” Emma teased, resting her chin on his chest.
“I’d like a house,” Finn said. “I’ve been saving up. I’d like to wait until I have enough for a bigger down payment, though. We couldn’t get much of a house for what I have.”
“You want to buy a house now?” Emma’s eyebrows shot up her forehead.
Deadly Addition (Hardy Brothers Security Book 9) Page 8