Love and Decay, Season Two Omnibus: Episodes 1-12

by Higginson, Rachel

  “They’re only our prisoners because they would die out there without our help!”

  I hugged him as tightly as I could, until he wheezed against my arms and tried to shove me off him. “We have to let this be, Miller. You can’t get obsessed with something like this. It will ruin you… Poison you, just like Daddy, just like Kane. Trust that this will all work out.”

  He made a sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t think I can do that.”

  “Then think about the Parkers. Think about Vaughan and Hendrix or even Page. If you become so evil that you want to kill your own mother, do you think they’re going to let us stick around? Do you think they want homicidal murders willing to gun down their own flesh and blood living amongst them?”

  He thought about my words and slowly seemed to accept them. “No, I don’t suppose they do.”

  I nodded fervently. “I’ll talk to Vaughan later tonight and find out what his plans are. You promise me not to do something stupid until I’ve talked to him, alright?”

  He exhaled a slow breath. “Yeah, do that. I wasn’t really thinking about those things anyway, but I would like to know what Vaughan’s plan is. You should talk to him and find out what he’s thinking.”

  Easier said than done, I thought. That boy never tells me what he’s thinking. “Okay,” I promised my brother. “I’ll do that. Do you want to go with me? Offer some moral support?”

  Miller shook his head. “That’s kind of the last place I want to be right now.”

  “Sure, right, of course,” I stumbled.

  I stood up and ran my hands through his wild hair. He needed a cut, but I didn’t have any good scissors on me. Actually, all these guys needed a haircut. I would make it a priority when we got back to the compound.

  Unlike nursing, I really did have a close friend that cut hair and taught me enough of the basics so I felt comfortable with my skill.

  “I’ll find you at supper,” I told Miller and walked off to find my mom.

  I nearly ran into Vaughan just on the other side of the ottoman. He smelled like fire and Zombie rot. But only faintly like Zombie rot. Mostly he smelled like smoke and fall and I had the strongest urge to step into him and press my nose against the hollow of his throat.

  “Where you headed?” he asked in a gentle voice.

  Oh, no. He wanted to talk. About that kiss.

  “To do something really important,” I told him.

  He gave me a disbelieving scowl. “We need to talk.”

  My instincts were on fire today! I would have celebrated had I not been more focused on escaping Vaughan’s chivalrous letdown than anything else.

  “We do not need to talk,” I promised him. I leaned in and dropped my voice. If Haley or Reagan got wind of what happened out there, they would never let me live it down.

  “Fine,” he growled. “We don’t need to talk, but I want to talk.”

  I glanced at my little brother who had leaned back on the cushion and started watching us with amused confusion. I slammed my hands down on Vaughan’s shoulders and shoved him down the aisle filled with old telephones. Berating him with a harsh whisper, I said, “I get that you’re a decent guy and, therefore, want to put a label on whatever happened so you can ease your conscience and maybe help me feel like less of a floozy. But I don’t want to do any of that. I am not interested in your guilty feelings or in helping you feel like a gentleman. The plus side for you is that I don’t think any less of you for what happened. We were both wound up, scared and pumped full of adrenaline. Honestly, I can’t blame either one of us. So I think we should both move on, without hashing out insignificant details and rest in the assurance that it will never happen again.”

  His scowl turned into an expression made of thunder and lightning. His eyes were black in the low light and wrinkled in the corners from his deathly glare. He grabbed both of my wrists at the same time and tore them from his shoulders, only to spin me around and back me into the shelving. His body followed until his solid chest pressed into mine and he shoved my hands behind my back. His hands stayed firmly on my wrists so now his arms were wrapped around me.

  His body was a cage and I was his prisoner.

  I should have been afraid. Or at the very least annoyed. But I couldn’t feel anything beyond the fire in my blood or butterflies in my stomach.

  “I’m not interested in that kind of assurance.” His voice was a low rumble of dark promises.

  “Wh-what kind of assurance do you want?” I stammered in a frightened whisper.

  “That it will happen again.”

  His mouth crashed against mine in a fast, punishing kiss that made my knees go weak. His tongue swept against mine, his teeth nipped at my bottom lip, his lips pressed against mine with bruising but delicious force. The thought of pushing him away never entered my head and instead I whimpered into his mouth and melted against him.

  His mouth was hot, his body hotter. His tongue knew exactly how to tease me, exactly how to seduce me into forgetting every other thing around me. He tasted differently than our last kiss. He’d washed his face with soap and brushed his teeth. There was no saltiness from his sweat or earthy taste from the dirt and forest. I missed those things. I missed having something to remind me that this kiss shouldn’t happen and that I didn’t belong here with him.

  With mint on his breath and the familiar soapy scent that reminded me so intensely of him, there was no argument left in my weak body to silence my building need.

  He slowed the kiss in degrees, still biting, still dominating me with his insatiable mouth. But soon the kiss softened from that heavy desperation to seductive and worshipful.

  It should be known, Vaughan Parker knew how to kiss.

  There were skills in his trick bag that I had never learned, and experience in his touch and taste that I had never picked up with Logan, my only boyfriend.

  His hands released my wrists and moved to splay against either of my sides. His fingertips pressed into my ribs and his thumbs rested just beneath the underwire of my bra. His pelvis pushed into my belly with warm, solid strength. He held me to him with a kind of strength and focus that I watched him do with everything else. This was the way he led our group. This was the way he protected us. This was the way he fought with me. And now, this was the way he would kiss me.

  As if he had dedicated his life to it. As if it were his sole responsibility to make sure my mouth was good and wholly ravaged.

  He still held me to him as if he was afraid I would leave him. He was clearly the dominating force here, but his touch made me feel as though he clung to me.

  “Tyler,” he whispered when his lips had kissed a warm path to my ear. His voice shook under some emotion that I didn’t understand.

  I made an unintelligible whimper that sounded more like a plea than anything else.

  He laughed a softly bitter sound. “I didn’t mean to do that.” He took a step back and assessed me with that same stormy expression. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  I found my willpower and pushed him back a few steps. I looked around the aisle and breathed a sigh of relief that we were alone and away from the group. Hopefully, nobody had walked by and caught our seriously steamy makeout.

  “You can’t keep attacking me!” I hissed at him.

  His lips twitched. “Then stop me.”

  The growl that came out of my throat was not at all reminiscent of the debutante my mother tried to raise. “I tried! I gave you a whole speech about it!”

  “That speech was supposed to convince me not to kiss you?” he chuckled.

  “Yes!”

  His forehead dropped to mine and he held me there for a moment before skimming his nose along the curve of my jaw. “Well, that kiss was supposed to convince you of the contrary.”

  I swallowed because for a few seconds I couldn’t form words to speak.

  He seemed to notice this. “Which one of us do you think is more persuasive?”

  And then he was gone.

&n
bsp; Apparently his good manners had left before him because now he didn’t want to talk at all.

  He didn’t even look back at me. He just kept walking and disappeared around the corner.

  Good lord! That was just not fair.

  And now I was supposed to go talk to my mother? And Kane?

  I wanted to go jump in a cold shower and have a three-hour-long cry over all these mixed up emotions! I did not want to have a chat with Linley Allen with a face reddened from the scrape of his beard against my skin and swollen lips from the delicious kisses.

  Vaughan’s kiss had ruined my entire life! And now I was going to be a hypocrite in front of Miller when my especially sour attitude ended up doing some permanent damage to my mother.

  I didn’t actually know why she wanted to talk to me, but I could only guess it would piss me off to an endless degree.

  After her, I would take care of Vaughan next.

  He couldn’t do this to me. He couldn’t make me feel like this. He couldn’t reignite this fire that was supposed to be dead or make it seem like there would be a lot more of this in the future.

  There couldn’t be any more of this.

  No matter how much I wanted it. No matter how much my body betrayed me and remembered every last detail of Vaughan and me. Together.

  That just could not happen.

  I pulled myself together and adjusted my t-shirt. Scrunching my long dark hair for some extra volume, I made my way over to my mother and brother.

  Gage hovered over them, quirking an eyebrow at me. I hadn’t bothered acknowledging them over the past few days; he probably wondered why I was here now.

  “I can watch them for a while,” I told him in a soft voice. I didn’t want him to make a big deal out of this, but I could never tell with Gage. Sometimes he was the laid-back boy who caused trouble in town and went to strip clubs on the weekend, He was the one that left a trail of broken hearts all over northern Arkansas and drank a six-pack of beer between breakfast and lunch just to “warm up” for the day. And sometimes he was this new guy, the leader of a huge group of people that relied on him, that needed him. These days he could not only be responsible but downright possessive. He treated women- all women- with respect and looked out for those in need. I hardly new the new version of Gage, but sometimes I would catch glimpses of the old one underneath his recently mature persona.

  He eyed me skeptically. “You want to?”

  I flashed him a “what do you think” look. “It’s fine. Take a break for a few.”

  “I could use some supper,” he relented. He walked over to me and put a hand on the back of my neck. Giving me a playful squeeze, he started to walk off.

  “Don’t go far,” I called after him.

  “You couldn’t make me.” There was a mischievous twinkle in his roguish expression and my stomach alighted with nerves.

  Vaughan had just complicated my life exponentially.

  I tolerated Gage’s… whatever it was that Gage felt for me and I didn’t encourage him one way or the other. I really did believe that he only liked the idea of me. He liked the notion of a wife, of not being lonely anymore… Of someone taking care of him.

  But he also liked the idea of beating Logan. That might have been cruel to think or at least unfair to Gage’s growth over the last couple years. And I would never say those words to his face. But I knew they were true.

  I had known Gage my entire life. The idea of having me by his side after Logan was out of the picture was… satisfying to him.

  That was the biggest reason I could never be with Gage.

  I couldn’t choose Gage. Even in the end. Even after Logan was gone and had no say in my life anymore.

  Plus, I didn’t have more than platonic feelings and a lifetime of playful affection for him.

  Vaughan was a different story.

  And now Gage was bound to find out about Vaughan, especially if he kept kissing me senseless. I didn’t want to explain to Gage that I chose another man over him. I didn’t want to see his wounded eyes watching me and deal with his injured pride. I’d been through this already with him and I knew he could be vindictive when he didn’t get his way.

  Although, in his defense, I was starting to see that all men had a tendency to pout and throw temper tantrums when things didn’t go according to their plans. Sometimes they were cute about it and sometimes they were nothing but overgrown toddlers kicking and screaming to get their way.

  “Well, look who finally graced us with her presence.” My mother’s sharp, condescending voice pulled me out of my personal drama and into a whirlwind of new problems.

  I looked down at her and barely recognized the woman. Her dark hair hung lifelessly and limp in greasy strands against her face. She hadn’t bathed in who knew how many days and her skin advertised that fact with dirty smudges and a glossy sheen of sweat and grime. Her clothes were stretched out and equally filthy. Whatever makeup she’d had on all those days ago had long disappeared except for gray smudges just under her eyes. Her nose was running but with her hands behind her back she couldn’t take care of it and her shoulder bore telltale marks that she’d been forced to wipe it against her sleeve.

  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

  It took everything in me not to smile, not to revel in her discomfort and misery.

  How many times had she done that to me?

  How many times had she let my father hit me or humiliate me or belittle me without intervening? How many times had she gone after me with unnecessary criticism and barely veiled disgust?

  I was not the perfect little carbon copy of her that she had always dreamed of. I never had been. And no matter how hard I tried, or what I accomplished in school or out of it, I disappointed her.

  And she never let me forget it.

  “The only reason I’m here is because I want you to stop bothering Miller,” I snapped at her. Bitterness was not a pretty color on me, but I couldn’t seem to get control of my emotions. I’d wanted to face her like this for as long as I could remember. But I didn’t want her tied up and just barely holding onto her sanity; I wanted to hold the power and she would be forced to listen to me.

  That was all I wanted. I just wanted my mama to listen to me for once in my life and have no choice but to consider the words I said.

  “Miller is my baby boy,” she reminded me. “He is welcome here anytime he wants to be. As are you.”

  The words felt painful even to my own ears. I hoped she didn’t damage something trying to get them to sound sincere.

  Yeah, right. I hoped she seriously damaged everything inside her.

  I contemplated telling her that Miller had been considering killing her not fifteen minutes ago, but decided against it. I wasn’t that heartless. But mostly, I was more concerned for Miller than ever before. I didn’t want that kind of information about him circulating. If my father ever got ahold of it, he’d probably congratulate himself on a job well done. “Unfortunately, you are not welcome here. So what do you want?”

  “I want to talk to you.” And she was serious. Those dull gray eyes looked up at me with a quiet desperation that refused to betray her dignity. She would not beg me but whatever she had on her mind, she’d deemed it important.

  I glanced over at Kane, who had an intensely stoic look on his face. He hadn’t spoken up yet but when he did, I had no doubt it would be in defense of our mother. He was such a mama’s boy.

  I took a seat next to him in a musty barrel chair that creaked against my weight and crossed my legs in a show of unfamiliar adulthood. I folded my hands on my knees and leaned forward in a show of interest.

  “I’m all ears.” I smiled a crocodile’s grin at her.

  Of course, this was all fake and I couldn’t wait to drop something super sarcastic on whatever gems of disgusting elitism my mother was about to drop. If only I could have also prepared myself for what she was going to say.

  Then at least my delivery would have been better.

  She leveled me w
ith a serious frown. “Tyler, I know you’re upset with me, but this is very important. You need to come home with us. I’m not taking no for an answer, so don’t even bother saying it. You come over to this side of the war right now and bring your brother with you. No more of this. No more wild hairs or sowing oats. This game is over for you. I will not tolerate it any longer.”

  “Really?” I rolled my eyes. “You won’t tolerate it anymore? How are you going to stop me? Look at you! You’re my prisoner. You’re at my mercy.”

  She huffed out an impatient breath. “I heard Gage and those boys talking earlier,” she informed me. “They want to leave for Gage’s place tomorrow and head back to that storage place.”

  I shrugged one shoulder and shot Kane another glance. This time he looked back at me and I could see the wrinkle between his brows, the uncertainty behind those thick glasses he could hardly see without. His shoulders were tight with tension and he seemed very focused tonight, not at all the love sick puppy dog that had been watching Reagan’s every move over the last couple of days.

  “Okay, Mama,” I told her with a syrupy smile. “You win. I’ll go home with you.”

  “Don’t patronize me, Tyler Sue.”

  Oh, god, why did the middle name from the mother have to be so awful? It didn’t matter how old I was or how far I’d moved my life away from her. If she ever pulled out the “Sue” part of my name, I was done for. I just wanted to crawl into a small space and die.

  “You can’t expect me to agree? Why in the ever-loving hell would I agree to that?”

  She shot me a fierce look. “Because he might forgive you if you come willingly.”

  “I don’t want his forgiveness. I don’t want anything to do with him. Or with you. With any of you.”

  She leaned forward which seemed a bit difficult for her with her hands tied behind her back like that. “You’re not going to have a choice in a few hours, little lady. I’m telling you, I will speak for you if you make a promise to me. If you help us, I will help you. But if you keep up this rebellious foolishness, there will be nothing I can do for you. It won’t matter that you’re the man’s own flesh and blood. And it certainly won’t matter that you’re his only daughter, Tyler. He’s out for blood and he will take down whatever stands in his way.”