by Jenna Bernel
Eli put his hand on mine. "You can trust me, Daniella, I promise. Whatever happens, it's going to be okay," he said into my mind, calming my anxiety-riddled thoughts. Even though my head was clouded with bloodlust and power, something about his voicing those familiar words, put me at ease. I nodded that I was ready, feeling as though we had been friends our whole lives.
I pulled my loose tendrils of hair away from my neck, and leaned into him as I closed my eyes. He dipped down, and I tilted my chin into his hair, inhaling his bakery mixed with rose water scent. I realized that if I didn't calm down soon, I might involuntarily turn human from the overwhelming emotions starting to course through me. It had never happened before, not being able to control the turn at my own will, but still, I couldn't take that risk. Then I'd really be in trouble.
I heard Eli's fangs emerging in his mouth, and when the daggers sunk into my skin, I had a flashback. I hadn't felt those razor-edged stilettos touching my flesh since I was first turned. My eyes flew open, and I gasped, trying to forget the memory that changed me into this, whatever this was. The fuzzy toxin from Eli's bite that I had only heard about, took over as he drew in his first sip, and its effects quickly abolished my reservations. My head now felt tingly, buzzing with endorphins, and I was begging for more. I almost giggled from the pleasant effect, and could see how it hooked human prey so easily. Everything about the sensation was easily addictive.
Seconds later, and much too soon, Eli retracted his fangs from my neck, jolting upright like he had just been electrocuted. His eyes showed genuine fear, wide with shock as he desperately grabbed at his throat like he was suffocating. A terrified scream caught in my throat as I looked helplessly on at him, having no understanding of what was happening. He tried to speak, but couldn't, and gripped my shoulders like a vise.
"You have to get us out of here. No one can see what's happening or they'll kill you! Hurry!" Eli shouted into my head. Right then, his eclipsed, haloed eyes rolled into his skull, until I could only see the whites. It was as if the shadowed sun was now obliterated by the clouds. He crumpled backward onto the bed, flopping up and down, like he was having a seizure.
My vamp survival mode kicked into high gear. The toxin’s effect decreased as my other instincts took over. My eyes darted around the room, and I spotted a second door that I hoped led to the building’s exterior. I jumped up in one leap, landing in front of the door, and to my surprise, it wasn't even locked. It opened effortlessly. I was shocked anyone would be that careless, and risk losing a blood whore so easily. That is, unless she were Tranced, and had her puncture wounds healed first. I opened the door just a crack, to see where it led, and smiled when I found what looked like an unlit side alley. Perfect.
I poked my head just enough to peer down toward the alley's entrance, only to see a shadow of a man walking past the dumpster. I quickly retreated inside. I gave the stranger a few moments, hoping he would soon be gone, praying he wasn't some bouncer doing an outer perimeter patrol, or I'd definitely be screwed. I risked another look, and when I peeked out the second time, I saw nothing in the darkness but the dumpster. I looked back at Eli, seeing that his seizure had diminished to a small tremor. I wasn’t sure what the hell I would do, but knew that if I didn't stop freaking out, I would turn human, and this was no time for showing my emotions. I needed my instincts. I had to act fast to get us out of here, or, like Eli said, we'd both be dead by dawn.
I leapt back to the bed and picked Eli up. It still seemed strange to me, the ability to lift a man twice my size with little or no exertion. I lobbed him over my shoulder, and his now steady tremor vibrated through my whole body, but at least, it reassured me that he wasn't dead, yet. I walked us cautiously out of the private room and into the alley, closing the door as soundlessly as I could behind me. When I got to the end that opened up to the street, I rested Eli against the wall, deciding my next move. I peered carefully around, wondering where to go. I didn't have a car with me, and there was no way I could carry Eli much further without someone spotting us. I gulped, thinking I should call Evan now and say goodbye. I figured there was no way I would make it through the night.
Then I heard a buzzing sound as the fluorescent lights of a motel began to flicker on, less than a block down the road. The “M” and “T” were the only parts of the sign not blinking or burnt out. Anything was better than being totally exposed out here in the open like a sitting duck. I picked Eli up again, pulling his arm over my shoulder and holding him by the waist. I let his feet drag as I rushed down the block towards safety. I tried to walk at a normal human pace just in case we ran into a vamp on his or her way to the club. The street was deserted, as it usually was for The Basement gathering events, but as long as no vamps caught his Infinity scent, I hoped to just pass us off as clubbers, making him appear as my blood whore who had drunken one too many.
I opened the filthy door of the motel. I was hoping that since it just opened for the evening, we might be alone. I walked right up to the reeking man behind the bullet-proof glass, who was sitting at a desk. He wore a pit-stained, white tank top, from which his bulging gut stuck out at the bottom. He looked extremely anxious and kept darting his eyes around, like someone was about to jump him; and in a place like that, it didn't really seem too farfetched. He met my eyes when I approached, and I immediately let the glow of my amethyst irises wash over his face, causing the glass between us to reflect an eerie purple light.
"Give me a room, and do not let anyone, under any circumstances, disturb us. If someone comes asking about me, you will have no recollection of my face or his," I said, pointing to Eli's slumped head. The foul-smelling man nodded as he slipped a key through the barricaded opening.
"Now, close down the motel for the night and go take a shower. You reek," I commanded. I decided the second part of my order was only aimed at doing the human population a service. My muscles stiffened when I thought I heard something like a small laugh or snicker, and I spun around, still holding Eli, while looking for the source. Perhaps I was just being paranoid because I was so disoriented.
When I turned back to the clerk, he was already standing up and closing down his area, obeying my trance instructions. I grabbed the key, noting the room number on it, and scrambled to get us behind closed doors, where I could take a closer look at Eli. I kept pleading in my head that his strange reaction to my blood would soon pass.
I checked my hip against the stubborn wooden door, leaving a dent as it swung open, and laid Eli down on the bed. I felt disgusted as I propped a dingy pillow under his head, knowing how vile it was to have a vamp of his age and dignity brought to a place like this. I still didn’t know much about our culture, but I imagined someone of Eli's age would definitely have had enough time to prefer indulging his taste for the finer things in life. If I could have figured out a way to wake him up, he'd probably take one look around, and think that he must’ve died and gone to hell. I was pretty sure that was where all of us vamps ended up anyway, even a half-vamp like me.
I felt sick and overwhelmed as I brushed the hair away from his closed eyes, and willed them to open. It all happened so fast, I still didn't know how to process it. I thought my Gifts would be special, and not kill people. Or kill vampires, but still. Eli didn't seem all bad. There was a softness there, deeply hidden behind his eyes, and I didn't think that he deserved to die. I took his hand, and using his own Gift, the one that he had just demonstrated for me, I hoped he could hear me.
"I am so sorry, Eli. I never meant for this to happen. Please don't die on me. You have to hang on!" I squeezed his hand tighter, watching as he continued to tremble.
"Stay with me, I'll be back. Finally, I'll be back…" Eli’s words were barely spoken in a whisper inside my head. The last few indicated to me that it was my final chance of speaking to him before he went into what seemed like an even deeper, comatose state. My eyes went wide as I frantically scanned his body for any signs of consciousness, begging for him to wake up, but nothing happened. I didn't
understand what was going on, but it was clearly something epic, and possibly capable of flipping my life upside-down all over again. I could sense it in the air.
Eli’s tremors decreased to nothing, but I couldn't tell if he was dead or alive, since vampires have no pulses to check. However, I've heard you'd know it when a vamp died, so I took it as a good sign. I wouldn't leave his side, even if he insisted that I do so. I promised myself I would never be like them; I would be different. I would live in this damn motel if I had to, waiting for the moment when Eli came back to me. He had to come back to me. I couldn't live with myself if he didn't.
I walked into the bathroom and wiped away the smudges on the mirror, so I could see my eyes. I looked at their unique amethyst color, feeling like a stranger in my own body. What was happening? Who was I? Ever since I was turned, those two thoughts continually plagued me. Tonight, I went to The Basement in search of answers, but only discovered more mysteries. And now, I had jeopardized more than just my own life with unmitigated danger.
I sighed. I never so desperately wanted to be normal again, more than I did at that moment. But normal, even in my human skin was not possible. Normal hadn't even been part of my vocabulary for years. Here I was, in a seedy, downtown Chicago motel that even the lowliest criminal wouldn't step foot in, feeling completely and utterly alone. I was sure if I were in my human state, I would already be weeping, even though I hadn't cried in years.
Come on Dani, snap out of it, I whispered under my breath. Wallowing in self-pity while a stranger's life dangled in the balance was useless. I had to focus on sending positive energy Eli's way until his eyes opened. I squared my shoulders with renewed determination before I walked back into the room.
I was suddenly on high alert, and sensed we were not alone. I took a deep breath, but I could only smell Eli's sugary scent as I sat in the chair beside him, holding his hand. I looked around cautiously as I prepared to settle into the chair for the night, wondering what would trigger that feeling. I took one more look at Eli and said a silent prayer, almost laughing at myself for even trying. I didn't think there was any higher power out there tonight that would concern themselves with a creature like me.
Chapter 1: Reborn
I was dreaming, and I knew it, yet I couldn't pull myself out of sleep. It was peaceful here, watching my toes sink into the wet sand as the waves lapped over my feet, on this beautiful, sun-filled day. The smell of sea air energized me as I relished hearing the waves crashing on the beach. The steady beat of my heart, pumping pure and powerful blood through my veins, was giving my tawny complexion almost a golden glow. I tilted my head toward the sky, savoring the warmth of the sun’s rays on my skin.
Looking over the sparkling ocean before me, I wanted nothing more than to dive into the cool refreshing waters, but somehow, I felt tethered to the sand. In my frustration, I reached out, struggling against the resistant force that anchored me. I began to scream for someone to help free me from the invisible chain, but there was nothing and no one there except my own, pained scream, and the expansive blue sea. I closed my eyes as I collapsed to my knees, and a small splash teased my senses when my body hit the shoreline, making my illusion of defeat all the more infuriating. I began to cry.
I felt the cool breath of someone over my shoulder, bending down toward me, and a tall shadow was cast over my body, taking away the sun's light. I wanted to turn and see who was blocking the sun, but I was too wrapped up in my own anger to look. The figure planted his freezing fingers onto my shoulders, and his breath was even colder, bristling the hair on the back of my neck when he dipped his head close to my ear.
"It's going to be okay," the raspy baritone whispered. I shuddered at the familiar voice of my maker's unmistakable inflection. Those were the only words I ever heard him utter, which were meant to comfort me as his venom turned me to what I was now.
When he spoke to me in my dreams, his phrase was always the same, but it was hard to believe a word he said. It was not okay, and it would never be again. I nodded along anyway, trying to appease him and believe it, but found it difficult even with the sincerity in his voice.
My pulse quickened as I began to shake. A warm hand with no body connected to it grabbed my wrist, shaking me harder. I thought my heart would explode, it was pounding so fast. At that moment, my faceless maker promptly disappeared, taking his shadow with him. The sun suddenly felt blazingly hot without my maker’s protective cloak. The warmth encircling my wrist burned fiery, as I heard my name being called out, in the distance.
I gasped and my eyes flew open, while my breath became shallow and quick. I tried to calm my pulse after the startled awakening. My face was just about to hit the windshield of the car as I sprang upright too fast in the passenger seat, but someone grasped my shoulder to stop the imminent collision.
Forgetting where I was, I began to panic, and my eyes blurred with the tears that were instigated by my dream. That was the only way my tears could find me now, in my dreams. All day and night, I buried what was left of my soul, even in my human form. With the exception of the school version of Dani, I had not allowed myself to be anything but a numb vamp for the past week. It was just easier that way, less hurtful, and more harmonious when dealing with the vampire who originally caused it.
Only a week had passed since Eli, my partner and friend, selflessly surrendered himself to our enemy in order to save my life, but it already seemed like he'd been gone an eternity. I was more distraught over losing him to Stella, Queen of the 7th Circle, than I was about turning half-vamp four years ago. I became a scared kid all over again.
A thumb began to lightly brush away the tears on my cheeks. I was so foggy from the lifelike dream that it took me a moment to remember, I wasn't alone in the car. Instantly, I was angry at his touch, and feeble attempts to console me. I pushed his hand away from my face before pulling down the visor to look in the mirror.
Wiping away the makeup that smeared my cheeks, I cleared my throat of the emotion lodged there from my dream. I was trying to ignore its symbolism, as well as the vamp next to me, who smelled exactly like the salty ocean breeze. That part was clear, but I was still confused by the familiar, raspy voice of my maker, appearing so suddenly and out of context. Even though we never formally met, nor had I even seen his face, that voice was permanently burned into my brain. If it wasn't the recurring memory of the night I was turned, the unattainable ocean, eternally escaping my reach, regularly plagued my sleep. Night after night, my maker met me in my dreams, always repeating the same phrase. Why?
I tried to push all my thoughts away as I turned in my seat to face Alec. I was armed only with the signature scowl I reserved just for him. He couldn't break through the barrier of my shield with those deep, penetrating eyes that twinkled like a starry kaleidoscope, bursting forth from the sea. I met his gaze, and swallowed hard when I saw the concern for me on his face. His human compassion still threw me off. The fact was: he was just another soulless vampire.
"Bad dream?" he asked, as he tilted his head. He scrutinized my emotions from the unsettling dream still coursing through me, a dream I so desperately wanted to talk to him about. He rested his hand gently over mine in a tacit invitation to open up to him.
"That is none of your damn business, is it?" I said sharply, pulling my hand out from under his, while snatching up the manila envelope from his lap and stepping out of the car.
I slammed the door, obliterating the sound of his frustrated sigh. This had been our routine all week--Alec trying to comfort me from the pain he caused by feeding Eli to the wolves, and me, continually and viciously rebuffing his pathetic attempts at consolation. I took a couple of breaths, hugging the envelope to my chest. As I leaned against the car for a moment, I let the crisp air cool my flushed cheeks. I hated to think that they were feeling overly scorched from Alec's touch, something I tried to avoid at all costs these days. Another kind of ache grew inside me: the urge to call on my blood, and turn vamp, thereby burying it all away. But I
couldn't, not today.
Today was the worst one yet. We were driving for almost forty-eight hours, which also contributed to making it seem like the endless day from hell. Per the written instructions that Eli left with Alec, I visited each and every Reborn I turned back to human. Now, I was on my last stop, number twenty-three, Henry. Even though Eli couldn't assist me, while fulfilling my task, I tried to pretend as if he were still by my side, and helping me at every stop. God, I wanted to turn vamp, but I needed my human compassion when I explained to our Reborns why they, once again, had to abandon their lives and loved ones. They had to know how truly remorseful I was to strip them of their freedom. I, the very person who promised to give it back.
I walked solemnly through the parking lot and ducked under the chain that held the fence closed. It was partially pulled open, just enough to squeeze through. I went behind the stadium bleachers to the stairs and walked up the back before coming to the opening and observing the full scene. Telling Henry was going to be especially difficult. He was the last one I turned, and it was only a short time ago. He was one of the happiest to go home, and probably was just starting to settle back into his life.
Finding him on a Sunday morning at his high school, doing laps around the track, his specialty, only made it worse. I sat down on one of the bleachers and watched as he circled along the oval ring of the track that delineated the football field. As he rounded one of the goal posts, he faced me, and my heart skipped a little at the sight of his foggy breath clouding up his view. That was the most rewarding part, seeing them breathe again. He stopped and squinted up at me from the track, wondering if his keen vision were deceiving him.
My hair was tucked in my coat and my eyes were hard to see under the dark hat I wore. I gave him a little wave and motioned him over to confirm I wasn't a figment of his imagination. He started to jog toward me. After a few strides, his smile beamed when he fully took in who had come to see him, and he picked up speed. He looked from side-to-side, making sure we were alone, and I nodded that it was okay. He dug his heels in, letting his full speed burst through. He jumped over the fence like a hurdler before zipping up the steps in less than five seconds.