Waiting in the Wings

by Melissa Brayden

  “You know, I’ve always wanted to meet her,” Paige exclaimed. “Everyone I know who’s worked with her always says how great she is on set. Do you mind introducing me?” I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to say no, however, as Paige was already up and moving before I could open my mouth in response. My good mood deflated like a popped balloon. I took a deep breath and followed her, hoping to make a quick introduction and get out of there.

  I outfitted myself in one of my best smiles as I approached the table, standing to the side of Paige. “Small world,” I said playfully to Adrienne.

  “I guess we both have good taste in restaurants,” she answered politely. I could tell she was as unnerved as I was by this unexpected encounter.

  “Adrienne, this is Paige Connally. She was the cinematographer on Tenth Avenue, which is where we met. Paige is in town for the evening, so we thought we’d catch up. Paige, meet Adrienne Kenyon, actress and a good friend of mine.” Adrienne stood and greeted Paige warmly, as only she could do. I turned to Adrienne’s dining partner and extended my hand. “Hi, I’m Jenna.”

  “Kim,” the redhead answered, taking my hand and smiling broadly. Strong handshake, I thought. “It’s nice to meet one of Adrienne’s friends. What a coincidence we’re all here.”

  “A coincidence, indeed,” Adrienne said.

  “Well, we better let you all get back to your meal.”

  “Oh, we haven’t ordered yet.” Kim placed her hand on my forearm. “You two should join us. It would be great, wouldn’t it, hon?”

  First of all, I didn’t like the sound of Kim calling Adrienne “hon.” At all. Secondly, it didn’t sound “great” by any stretch of the imagination. I took the opportunity to save us all. “Oh no. We don’t want to intrude, plus Paige and I—”

  “Oh, I don’t think we’d be intruding. It might be fun,” Paige said. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “Not at all,” Kim said. She signaled the maître d’ and quickly explained our new dining plans. In no time at all, our tables were pushed together with Paige and me seated on one side and Adrienne and Kim on the other. I looked diagonally across the table, making brief eye contact with Adrienne, who looked less than thrilled with me. How was this my fault? If she was upset with our new dining arrangement, she had none other than her date to thank for it.

  We made small talk until the waiter came to take our drink order.

  “Some wine for the table?” Kim asked. I could tell she was a take-charge kind of girl. Not offensively so, but there was a definite aura of confidence there.

  “Definitely,” Adrienne said.

  “Yes,” I answered at the same time.

  Paige smiled. “Sure, whatever everybody wants.”

  Kim scanned the wine list briefly and turned to Adrienne. “You like white wine, right?”

  “Red. She likes red,” I said evenly. It was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

  Adrienne glanced briefly at me in annoyance. “Either would be fine though.”

  A short time later, we placed our order with the waiter. Our table was now outfitted with a carafe of merlot and we wasted no time breaking into it. I sipped my wine and watched as Kim took Adrienne’s hand in her own and rested them both on her lap. I narrowed my gaze and took another drink, scooting my chair closer to Paige who smiled back at me.

  “So, Kim, I hear you work in fashion. That sounds exciting.”

  “It can be,” she said, very eager to talk about her work. “Mainly I work in public relations for some of the big hitters in the fashion industry, but I also do some styling for some of the higher end shows. It’s pretty fast-paced, but I love it. I’m not a famous movie star, but I do okay.”

  “Kim’s being modest,” Adrienne said. “She’s at the top of her field.”

  I nodded, doing my best to look impressed. “Do you ever do any styling for the entertainment industry?” I asked, trying to find a way to tie our worlds together.

  “I don’t,” she said. “I’ve always found show business a little superficial for my liking. Actresses can be quite shallow.”

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “Present company excluded.” She laughed and brought the back of Adrienne’s hand to her lips for a reassuring kiss. I might have rolled my eyes; I’m not sure.

  Paige stroked the back of my neck protectively. “Well, I can attest to the fact that Jenna’s an amazing actress and person of substance, and though I’ve never worked with you firsthand, Adrienne, I love your films. Actually, if we’re being honest, I was a religious Highland High watcher back in the day. It was my favorite show.”

  Adrienne nodded graciously. “Thank you, Paige. That’s very sweet of you to say.”

  “What about you, Kim?” I poured myself a second glass of wine. “What’s your favorite film of Adrienne’s?”

  At the question, Kim inhaled and turned to Adrienne, searching. “You know, I’m not a big movie buff. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

  “You haven’t seen any of her films?” I asked with maybe a little bit of judgment in my voice.

  She buttered her bread. “Not as of yet. But not to worry. It’s on my to-do list.”

  Our food arrived and the conversation hit a lull as we delved into our respective dishes. “How’s yours, sweetheart?” I asked, turning to Paige.

  If she was surprised by the term of endearment, she didn’t show it. “It’s probably the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life. We should consider ordering dessert.”

  “You know, I had a bit of a different scenario in mind for dessert.” Okay, so I was acting a little obnoxious.

  Paige leaned in and whispered quietly into my ear, her breath giving me goose bumps. “That could be arranged.” I laughed quietly and raised my gaze to the table only to be met with the coldest stare I had ever seen Adrienne dole out. I quickly decided I didn’t care. I was out to enjoy this evening and that was what I intended to do.

  “So, Paige,” Adrienne said, “you’re a cinematographer. Does that mean you’re based in LA?”

  “For the most part, yes. My family is also in California, including my nephews, who I’m very attached to. I try to stick close to home as much as I can, but in my line of work, that’s not always possible.”

  “It can be tough in this business,” Adrienne said. “Kim’s family is from Connecticut.”

  “Do you visit much?” I asked.

  “On occasion. There are three girls in my family and both my sisters have four children apiece. It’s a little bit of a zoo when we all get together. I guess you could say I put in my time and get out of Dodge. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but that’s just not my scene.”

  I nodded my head, beginning to figure this woman out. “Are you interested in a family of your own someday?” Adrienne’s eyes widened and she looked like she might reach across the table and strangle me at any moment, but after two and a half glasses of wine, I was feeling courageous.

  “I would love to find that special someone and settle down, yes,” Kim said eagerly.

  Adrienne smiled at Kim and glanced smugly in my direction.

  “And kids?” I asked, going for what I knew was the jugular.

  “Uh, not so much. They’re great in small spurts, but that’s not how I imagined my life.”

  “Makes sense.” I returned to my meal like the cat that’d just swallowed the canary.

  But Adrienne wasn’t finished. “I’m sure Jenna can identify. She’s a career girl first and foremost,” she said simply.

  “What does that mean exactly?” I shot back. Paige placed her hand on my knee beneath the table to rein me in a tad.

  “It just means your career is your first priority. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Adrienne said, her tone overly sweet and borderline patronizing.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t presume you know what my priorities are,” I said, matching her tone.

  “Why don’t we order some coffee?” Kim asked. She glanced curiously from Adrienne to me as w
e stared at each other in a showdown. Paige nodded her agreement while I politely excused myself from the table, needing a minute.

  I found myself alone in the ladies’ restroom, or rather the sitting area that one often encounters in advance of the ladies restroom. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I was angry, and now that I was on my own, staring at my reflection in the mirror, I wasn’t sure why and that made me angrier. Possibly it was because my date with Paige had been hijacked, or maybe because I was jealous of Kim, or even more likely was the fact that Adrienne was treating me with barely a modicum of respect. Probably all three, but the bottom line was I needed to get out of there, and I made up my mind to do exactly that.

  The door opened behind me and I turned, ready to head back to my table and come up with a fantastic reason for Paige and me to skip out on coffee and head immediately back to my hotel room. I refused to admit to myself that alone time with Paige was not going to make me feel any better and might make me feel worse in the scheme of things. As I turned to exit, however, I found myself face-to-face with the sitting room’s new inhabitant, Adrienne. She didn’t waste any time. “What the hell was that?” she snapped.

  I matched her glare, incredulous at her accusing question. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  “Hardly. Jenna, you were completely out of line out there.”

  “Because I was trying to get to know your date? I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d set rules for our dinner conversation.”

  “You weren’t getting to know her. You were practically interrogating her and embarrassing me in the process.”

  “What does it matter? She’s completely wrong for you,” I scoffed. I was putting on a lot of bravado, but in actuality, I was feeling more than just anger. I was feeling desperate, frustrated, and for the first time in a while, honest.

  Adrienne’s eyes were blazing at this point, but all I could think about was how beautiful she looked. “And why do you get to decide that? You have no idea what’s right for me and what’s not. Who do you think you are?”

  In that moment, I knew who I was. I acted quickly, moving to Adrienne and crushing her mouth with mine. The intensity from the fight was very present in the way I kissed her, commanding, rough, and passionate. The force of my forward movement had pushed Adrienne up against the wall and my body had followed, leaving her little room to escape. Surprisingly, she didn’t try to, and it was only a moment before her lips were moving against mine. Her mouth opened slightly and it was all the invitation I needed to deepen the kiss as my tongue moved purposefully into her mouth. Her hands trailed up my neck into my hair, holding my face firmly in place, and I pressed my body more firmly against hers. “Adrienne,” I gasped between kisses, wanting more. But at the sound of my voice, the spell was broken. Adrienne stilled her movement and placed her palm on my chest, effectively pushing me away and moving out of the space. The expression on her face was one of alarm. She backed away further, her fingers touching her lips as if they’d been burned.

  “What am I doing?” she asked no one in particular. All I could do was stare back at her stupidly. “Why did you do that?” she asked a little more forcefully, now speaking directly to me.

  “I…I don’t know,” was all I could manage. “I’m sorry.” I took a step toward her. “I shouldn’t have—”

  “Don’t.” She held one hand in front of her, halting my action and taking a step backward. “We’re going to go. You stay here.”

  And I did. As Adrienne left, I sank into the nearby love seat. Common sense came crashing back to me like a powerful slap across the face. I was numb, reeling from the kiss, and guilt ridden all at the same time. Who would blame Adrienne for being furious with me? I’d acted like an asshole for the better part of the evening and then forced her up against the wall of a bathroom and mauled her. Classy. I sat there for several more minutes, my head in my hands, a million self-recriminations bouncing around inside it. I was ashamed and embarrassed by my behavior. But there was one nagging thought I simply couldn’t shake: Adrienne had kissed me back. Maybe it had been a knee-jerk reaction on her part, but it sure didn’t feel that way.

  *

  Paige’s hands were on me before I even got the door unlocked. We stumbled inside, her lips on my neck as she walked me backward, bumping us into the leather club chair next to the bed. A stack of books fell onto the hard wood floor with a bang.

  “I’ve missed this body,” Paige breathed, moving from my neck to my mouth. As she pressed her lips to mine, I did everything I could to lose myself in the feel of her hands on my skin, to allow myself to enjoy the body of this sexy and attractive woman. But the more I tried, the less I was able to engage. When she deepened the kiss, I reciprocated, but it felt robotic, as if I was simply going through the motions. At this point, I heard my own voice inside my head, telling me to stop. As much as I tried to ignore the voice, it only seemed to amplify, reminding me who I’d been kissing an hour before. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, willing it all to stop.

  I stepped back from Paige. “Wait, please.”

  She looked at me, surprised at first and then immediately concerned. “Jen, are you all right? Talk to me. You look a little pale.” She gently ushered me to the couch. “Here, why don’t you sit down? I’m going to get you a glass of water.” She disappeared into the bathroom.

  “I’m fine, Paige,” I called after her. “God, I feel so stupid.”

  “It’s okay, sweetie, you’ve had a little wine. Maybe it’s just gone to your head.” She returned, handing me a glass of water, which I promptly took a few swallows of and rested my forehead on my palm.

  “It’s not the wine.” I sighed, defeated. “I’m sorry, but I shouldn’t have brought you back here.”

  She sat next to me slowly. “Oh. Is it something I did? You seemed kind of into the idea at dinner.”

  “I am, I mean, I was. Something happened tonight. Someone, I guess, is a better way to put it. Adrienne.”

  Paige’s eyes widened and she tilted her head to the side, a knowing look surfacing on her face. “So it wasn’t just my imagination.”

  I shook my head apologetically. “I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle of all of this tonight. I swear I had no idea we were going to run into them.”

  “I believe you, Jenna, and hey, it’s okay.” She scooted to the edge of the chair. “Can I ask you one question?” I nodded solemnly. “Are you in love with her?”

  I sat up straighter. “No. I mean…I definitely have these feelings for her though, and nothing I do to get rid of them seems to work.”

  “And why are you trying to get rid of them exactly?”

  “Because we’ve tried this before. It didn’t work, and it hurt a hell of a lot when it didn’t. It’s better this way.”

  “It doesn’t look better from where I’m sitting. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  I waved my hand as if to indicate I was fine. No big deal. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. After tonight I’m pretty sure I’ve blown it.”

  Paige looked at me thoughtfully. “Answer me another question. Does she have feelings for you?”

  “No…yes. I think it’s possible.”

  Paige raised an eyebrow.

  “We haven’t actually talked about it. It’s complicated.”

  “It’s not, and I’ll tell you why. You deserve to be happy. That’s very simple. Don’t let your relationship hang-ups get in the way.”

  “It sounds so easy when you say it. When did you get to be so smart?”

  “I guess you just never noticed.” She softened. “You’re a good person, Jenna, and because I care about you, I’m going to offer this piece of advice. Tell her how you feel. If she feels the same way, it’s never too late.”

  I nodded, taking in her words. “Maybe. Thank you, Paige, for understanding.” I stood and pulled her into an embrace. “I wish there were more like you.”

  “Aww shucks,” she said. “Speaking of late, I’m going to let you get some re
st. You’ve got a lot on your mind.” I followed her to the door and pulled it open for her. She walked into the corridor before turning back. “She’s really hot, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Just the thought of you two is…wow. Now that’s an image I’ll carry with me.”

  I playfully swatted her. “Knock it off and get out of here, you. I’ll call you soon.”

  With a final wave of her hand, she headed down the hall, offering a low whistle as she exited. I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling at her antics. I closed the door and leaned against it, pulling out my phone. I sent one text message before turning in for the night: I’m sorry.

  *

  Fuck. I slapped the stop button on the CD player hard with the open palm of my hand, turning off the music. I was completely frustrated at myself for missing the difficult transition in my senior year showcase number, after finally nailing it on the past two run-throughs. I’d been at the rehearsal studio for three hours that day, after rehearsing pretty steadily for the past four weeks. I finished off the water in my oversized plastic bottle, and took out a second from my bag. I wasn’t anywhere near finished with my rehearsal.

  I’d known full well it would take a lot to get myself back in good dance form, and I had been right. I planned to use all the studio time Adrienne secured for me and maybe even add to it myself. The progress I’d made so far was encouraging, and I was feeling a great deal more confident about myself as a dancer.

  Unfortunately, the Elevation auditions had taken place the week before. Deep down I knew I hadn’t been ready and made the decision not to attend. While the project sounded perfect for me, the timing just hadn’t worked out in my favor. I needed more time.

  I had been in close contact with Latham, however, explaining to him my goal of finding work on Broadway, and reminding him of his promise to help. He’d reluctantly agreed, despite the decrease in pay it would mean for both of us, and put the word out to the theatrical casting circle to see if anyone was interested. Luckily, I had a bit of clout behind my name because of the higher profile work I’d done the past few years and the nomination I’d received. He’d gotten back to me with a few audition opportunities in some already established Broadway shows. There was even an out-and-out offer for me to reprise the role of Alexis in Clean Slate, this time with the Broadway Company, still enjoying a healthy run in New York City six years after opening. It was something I was willing to consider, but I was still hoping for something new to come my way. It would be nice to originate a character and have something fresh to sink my teeth into. I wanted to craft a role from the bottom floor up.