“I'm not going to say anything more. I really didn't mean to get into this conversation with you.”
“I'm glad you did, though. I guess seeing your side of things helped. For what it's worth, I don't see your relationship with Kyra failing, like, ever.”
The corners of his lips turned up. “Thanks, Taryn. That means a lot.”
“But it still scares you.”
“Yeah, it does. I walked away once because I was afraid of failing. I won't make that mistake again.” Matt pulled into the parking lot of Jewel Gallery of Texas. “Here we are.”
Taryn followed Matt inside and took a look at all of the displays. This was really happening! Kyra was lucky to have Matt. He brought them back together, and he was a good listener. Best of all, Matt made Kyra happy. Taryn placed her bets that they'd have a happy marriage, and it was more than her rooting for two good people to be happy. She honestly believed it.
“Can I help you?” A friendly saleswoman approached them, glancing between the two. Her smile widened.
“I'm looking to buy a ring for my girlfriend.” Matt also took in the sights of the store. His response to the woman was etched with awe.
“And you brought her to pick it out, huh? Come on over and tell me what you like.” The woman's eyes sparkled as she settled her gaze on Taryn. “Lucky woman. He's hot!”
Taryn let out a giggle. “I'm not the girlfriend. My best friend is, and I'm here to aide this hot guy in picking out a ring she'll love.”
“Oh!” Cheeks reddening, her smile faded. “I apologize.”
Matt and Taryn shared a laugh. “It's okay,” Matt said. “I brought Taryn for moral support. My girlfriend is one of a kind, and I want to do this right. Who better to ask than her best friend?”
Taryn had to admit, it was fun helping Matt pick out a ring for Kyra. The two got to know each other a little more, and it helped ease her mind of her own troubles for a while. Matt was really easy to talk to. She enjoyed his company a lot. Now if she could put to use the sound advice he gave her, things would be great.
Chapter Thirty-One
Chris didn't hear much from Taryn the next few days. She'd replied to one of his texts, saying that she needed some time to think and that she'd talk to him when her mind wasn't so frazzled. As much as he missed her, Chris respected her space. She'd been extremely upset, and while the way she acted hurt the last night they'd been together, he understood. As he drove to the inn for Melody's wedding rehearsal, he thought of Taryn. They were supposed to show off their dance moves at the wedding. She was his date. All around, he missed her. He'd bought the other seasons of the Waltons on DVD to match the first few she had. He'd contemplated calling her just to say 'Goodnight, John Boy' and throw her completely off guard.
Chris pulled into the parking lot of Harmony's Echo Inn. He spotted Jameson's truck parked next to Avery's. Randy's truck was a few spots away. He didn't see Kyra's car yet. Would she bring Taryn with her today when she arrived? Taryn didn't have to be at the rehearsal, but Kyra did, since she'd be singing at the wedding and the reception. Half the time, where one went, the other followed.
After walking through the entrance, Chris stared at the front desk as he passed by, half expecting to see Alice there, until reality hit him. She was in a hospital. He recalled over a year ago when they'd first hooked up. It started with a look, some flirting back and forth. Harmless stuff. Then they'd made out and had sex. Lots of it.
He couldn't recall when he met Jerri. In a bar somewhere, late at night. The rest of the details about Jerri and their meeting were lost to him. They'd been casual as well. Here and there. He'd never sought any of them out. If the chance came up, he took it. Chris had rolled with it.
Now, all he wanted was to take a long term chance on Taryn. Forget his past. Forget the depression and the casual hook ups. He wanted something true, and he'd found it with Taryn. She made him whole.
He loved her.
And he wouldn't go down without a fight. Chris had every intention on continuing to show Taryn that they had something good together, if she let down her guard and took a chance.
“There you are!” Blaine exclaimed, sweeping in from the back. “Have you seen Kyra yet?”
“No. Do you know if she's bringing Taryn?” Hope filled him.
“I'm not sure. She didn't say one way or the other.”
Chris followed Blaine to the courtyard, where everyone was gathered. In a few days, his little sister would be a married woman. He marveled at her, standing hand in hand with Jameson under a string of lights hanging from the trees. She wore a sun dress, and her hair was left down. When Melody turned and saw him, she waved.
He upped his pace so he could hug her. “Hey, you.”
“Hi.” Her voice came out breathless and soft.
“You look a little sad on your wedding rehearsal night,” Chris said.
“We got a gift card- a huge one- from Bridgette today. She of course can't make it, not that I expected her to. It makes me a little sad and hurt. Look at Jameson with his family and friends. Not saying they aren't mine, too....”
“I get it, Mel. It's Bridgette's loss, you know. She missed out on watching this little lopsided pig tailed blonde grow up. She might have been present, but she never did get to know the beautiful girl you've always been, now a grown up woman I'm proud of. She missed out on the tea parties, dancing, the hairbrush karaoke, and so much more. Maybe she's right and it was better for her to go. We'll never know. You want to know why I stopped playing drums? Every time I tried to play, I was reminded of her leaving. Even though I was thirteen, I thought I did something wrong. I think it goes back to that day we were fighting and she snapped.”
“I'm sorry. If I'd have known that, I never would have asked you to play for the band.” Melody cried, hugging him.
“It's okay. I got to spend time with you, and I met Taryn. It also helped me eventually realize I need to seek some help for my own depression issues. I've decided I'm not letting my anger and resentment toward Bridgette affect how I feel about drums, or life in general. I need to enjoy things again. I bet one day I'll have nieces and nephews who need their Uncle Chris to show them some fun.” He ruffled his sister's hair. “I'm going to be that spoiling, fun uncle. Just you wait.”
“But you still don't want to play and tour full time?” Melody guessed, blushing.
“I don't know. Besides, what about Taryn?”
“She's up in the air right now, too. Both of you are. I really hope you work it out. I love the two of you together!”
“I do too, Mel. I think Taryn needs some time to sort out her feelings. I'm trying to give her that.” Trying being the key word. It was hard when all Chris wanted to do was have her by his side again.
“Yeah, but make sure she knows you're still there for her, and that you'll wait. She needs to know that,” Melody said softly. “If she needs space, then tell her from afar what you feel.”
“I will,” he promised. “If Taryn decides she doesn't want to join, I'll play for you full time during the summer tour.”
*****
“I'll play for you full time during the summer tour.” The moment Taryn followed Kyra to the courtyard, that was what she heard. Chris stood by Melody and not too far from Jameson.
Her heart sank.
She'd taken too long.
Chris was filling in for her now, and she'd lost her chance.
“Thanks. This back and forth is a little nerve wracking,” Melody replied.
Later, Taryn would ask Kyra if she knew anything about being booted and Chris taking her place, but she'd already taken off, heading towards Avery.
Tears threatened to fall. Just when she'd decided to stop being a coward, and now this.
She'd been replaced.
“Taryn, you look like you're about to cry.” Chris stood beside her. She didn't even see him approach.
Her heart flip flopped. “I guess you're back in the band and I'm out, huh?” She forced her words out carefully.
“What?” His eyes narrowed.
“Are they booting me because I can't make up my mind? You just said you'd fill in for the summer.” Damn, she sounded like an idiot!
“Taryn, you only heard part of the conversation. Don't cry.” He wiped her stray tear away. “I told Melody that if you decide you're not joining the band after all, that I'd play. No one's replacing you. No one's booting you. Everyone is just nervous about being unsure who's going to play, that's all.”
She sniffed, then tried to calm down. “About the other night ... I'm sorry. I had an overload and took it out on everyone. You, Kyra … it was ugly. In the heat of the moment, I said a lot of shit I shouldn't have. I feel like scum over it.”
“Yeah, well, I probably wasn't much better. I could have handled things differently.” He stroked her hair. “We were both upset and hurt. I missed you so much.”
“Okay, we need places, everyone!” Blaine clapped her hands to get attention.
“That's my cue. If I don't get a chance to talk to you tonight, I want to take you somewhere Friday.”
“I work-”
“It's a good thing I know your best friend and that her mother is your boss. I kinda already had this planned and wanted to surprise you, but I just ruined that.” He slid her a sheepish grin. “I'd still love to show off our dance moves at the reception.”
“Okay. Go, before I get chewed out for distracting you.” Taryn offered up a smile.
“Yes, ma'am.” Chris saluted, then took off for the rehearsal.
Matt came by to sit next to her, and they both watched in silence. “Have you decided on when you're asking?” Taryn whispered.
“No. Do I wait until before the tour? During? After? This is the hard part now,” Matt whispered back. “Have you two settled things yet?”
“Who, me and Chris or me and Kyra?”
“Both, although I can guess you and Kyra haven't, because there's still a lot of tension when the two of you are together.”
“I haven't talked much to anyone the last few days,” Taryn admitted. “I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I'll make my rounds of apologies.”
The rest of the rehearsal, Matt and Taryn sat in silence. Chris kept looking her way. There was a deep, intense emotion in his eyes every time, which gripped Taryn's heart.
I love him.
I'm scared to love him.
But Matt's sound advice from the other day played in her head. If she failed, then she'd pick herself back up again and try harder. It meant working a little harder, but she wasn't a quitter. That meant with relationships. It meant playing drums in a band like she'd been wanting to do. It meant ignoring the public eye and their criticism. It meant living her life with all of its ups and downs.
Jameson and Melody shared a kiss as cheers erupted, and Kyra launched into the song she'd be singing. All eyes were on her now, including the bride and groom-to-be. Kyra had written a special song for Melody and Jameson. Taryn had heard it a few times because Kyra had asked her advice on different parts of it.
“She gets me with that voice every time,” Matt said quietly. “Her career is going to skyrocket, and I wonder how it'll affect us.”
“You'll never know unless you try. You might fail, but isn't she worth trying for?” Taryn used some of his words against him.
Matt scowled at her. “You're just like my son. You remember the words and don't hesitate to use them against me, but don't forget to take the advice I gave you.”
“I will. If Baby Stetson will still have me, I'm going on tour.”
“Atta girl. And what about Chris?” Matt nodded his head in Chris' direction.
“It's a little hard to walk away from a man who took me swimming and dancing. Oh, and I love him.”
“Dancing? I'm officially intrigued.”
“Just you wait. You'll see at the reception. And then when you get married, I hope to dance at your wedding, so make it snappy!” Taryn snapped her fingers.
Matt laughed. “I told you. We'll bet on each other, and we can both win by getting somewhere near the dates we pick. It'll be our little secret.”
“Not on your life. I like to keep people guessing.” Taryn smirked.
They didn't get a chance to finish the conversation before Kyra's song ended. Avery headed their way. “Hey, Matt. Hi, Taryn.”
“Hi, Avery.” Taryn studied her, waiting for the moment. Dread filled her. Avery came to talk about the drummer position, didn't she? Taryn just had that feeling.
“So...” Avery started, just as Taryn blurted, “If you'll still have me, I'd love to be a part of the band. I'm sorry about the other day and how I went ballistic.”
Avery laughed, then turned serious right away. “I know it's a lot to think about, and the events of that day were enough to drive anyone to anxiety. For the longest time, I held back. Let me tell you the story about how the name Baby Stetson came about, and you'll see that you aren't the only one who has a lot of worries.” For the next hour or so, Taryn and Avery got to know each other, and they swapped stories about fears, failures, and taking a chance.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Kyra Sanders, you're lucky I can't come down those stairs! Come up here and stop avoiding me. I promise I won't hit you with pillows!” Taryn knocked on the door that led to the basement. Music played from below. She'd been listening to several songs over and over, and Taryn knew exactly what they represented. “Please. It's time to say goodbye to this stupid tension. I can tell by your playlist that you're really upset.” For the past few days, they'd skirted around talking to each other. Taryn really hadn't seen Kyra much, but she bet her friend was avoiding her. Considering the way Kyra got yelled at the other night, Taryn didn't blame her.
Today was the day to settle this.
The music didn't stop right away. Maybe Kyra didn't hear her?
Taryn knocked again. “I'll call Matt to bug you if you don't come up here!”
Finally, the music stopped. Kyra opened the door about a minute later. “Do you need something?”
“Yes, I need something. I need you to change your playlist of songs. I'm getting kinda scared now.” She shivered for effect. “Most of all, I need to apologize for being the reason behind this playlist.” Wow, did that ever come out ridiculous.
Kyra narrowed her eyes. “What, is it all about Taryn McAllister now?”
Taryn reeled back. “I should have expected that. Should I be afraid of the song you're probably stewing over down there?”
“I don't know. Guess you'll have to find out when I let you listen to it.” Kyra's scowl faded.
“Do you ever have one of those moments where all seems lost, and all bottled emotions explode in the worst way possible?”
“Quite often, which is why I release my feelings into music. People criticize Taylor Swift for that kind of thing, but what most don't know is that it's a good release.”
“Okay, well, it's not all about her, either.” Taryn forced a laugh. “What I'm trying to say, and failing miserably at, is that you, Chris, and everyone else became a victim in my pent up explosion. I said and did things I'm sure as hell not proud of, and this avoidance between us needs to stop. So without further ado, I'm sorry.”
Kyra bent to hug her. “Funny how sometimes a whole jumbled set of words come out before the shortest, difficult words.”
“I'm sorry, and I love you. Short phrases are always hard to say. You're the sister I never had, and I do love you. Feel like talking for a while before Chris comes to pick me up? And maybe play me that song you mentioned you wrote about us? I want to cash in on best friend perks.” Taryn smiled sweetly.
“Since you don't do that often, I'll go with it. Maybe I'll play another song from the new album, too.”
“Deal!”
“Let me grab the CD.” Kyra turned toward the door again.
“Meet me in my room?” Taryn asked, gripping the rims of her chair.
“You bet.”
Kyra headed back down to the
basement, while Taryn went to her room and waited. It wasn't long before Kyra joined her. “Just FYI, I was writing a new song about you, but it's not because I was mad at you.” She set the CD next to Taryn's phone.
“Good to know, but that was me jabbing at you, anyway.” Taryn gestured to the CD. “Let's hear it. I'm eager.”
“You got it.” Kyra slid the CD into the stereo, hit a few buttons, and waited. As the melody started, Kyra backed up to sit on Taryn's bed.
Calm ripples turn to restless waves
I've been locked inside this prison
for far too many days
Swinging this chain back and forth
is one half of a broken heart torn apart from yours
Feels like a part of my soul has ripped away
Words don't come and I wish I had something to say
Break this silence between us
I wish you knew
I miss the other half of this heart
Every single memory
will never be washed away
Time won't ease this pain
Holding on to hope
Hope that one day
you'll forgive me
Maybe I took us for granted
Thinking you'd always stay
Whatever you're doing, where ever you are
I hope you're finding your way
What if I picked up the phone
Gave you a call and let it all out
Instead I stare at the empty walls
Holding on to the only thing I've got left of you
I wish you knew
I miss the other half of this heart
Every single memory
will never be washed away
Time won't ease this pain
Holding on to hope
Hope that one day
you'll forgive me
I don't recognize myself
Not without you
My world is too empty
without the other half of this heart
I wish you knew
how much I miss the other half of this heart
Offbeat (Love and Music In Texas Book 5) Page 32