For the Love of a Cowboy (Cowboy Dreamin')

by Sullivan, Sandy

  Tears gathered in her eyes as she got closer and closer to her mother’s headstone. She silently wiped at the tears with her fingertips, hoping Jacob wouldn’t see.

  “Sshh.” He turned her in his arms and held her to his chest.

  Broken sobs tore at her throat as she cried into his neck, soaking his shirt. He never asked any questions, just held her tight, all the time sweeping his hand over her braid.

  After several minutes she stepped back. He wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

  “Seems you’ve needed a good cry for a while.”

  “I guess I did. Thank you.”

  “No thanks needed, darlin’.”

  She swallowed hard. The endearment from his lips almost made her forget the animosity between them. She wanted to forget the loneliness of the last two months without him. “Just hold me.”

  “My pleasure, baby.”

  They stood in the silence of the grounds with the laughter of the fair atmosphere in the distance, for some time. The warmth emanating from his skin as he rubbed his hands up and down her back, made her want to sink into him and never come out. “I suppose we should get back. Your family will be worried about you.”

  “It’s fine. Mom knew I was headed your direction.”

  “Well my father will be worried. I was supposed to announce the games.”

  “I think Charlie from the band took over for you. I hear his deep baritone announcing away.” They turned to walk back toward the crowd with their arms around each other.

  “You didn’t want to participate?”

  “Only if there are three legged races and you are my partner.” He stopped to kiss her nose. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Again, thank you for the shoulder.”

  “I have some pretty broad ones so anytime you need one, you holler.”

  “I could do that.” She reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth. With his hand in hers, they walked back into the refreshment tent so she could take over some of the duties from the other ladies of the auxiliary.

  Jacob smiled for a minute, tipped his hat and wandered back to his family.

  His family. Next he would want to introduce her to everyone. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that kind of familiarity. Well hell, he’d met her father even though it wasn’t planned on her part. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to meet his family.

  She could pretend it was on the pretense of inviting them all to the potato sack races going on in a few minutes. Sure, what a plan! She shook her head as she told one of the teenage girls helping her she would be right back.

  The entire clan size overwhelmed her a little when she made her way closer, but the warmth in Jacob’s eyes as she walked toward him, dissipated all the butterflies in her stomach.

  “Well hello. Paige, isn’t it?” Nina asked when she stopped next to the group.

  They all looked her way as she blushed bright red. “Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to see you again.”

  “You too.”

  “I wanted to invite everyone to enjoy the games we are having. I believe the potato sack races are next.”

  Jacob touched her elbow, drawing her attention back to his family. “Let me introduce you to the group, Paige. These are my parents. You know Nina, my mother and sitting next to her is James, my father.”

  “Ma’am.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “These are my brothers, Jeff and his girl Terri.” He indicated with a nod to one couple next to the tree in the shade.

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “My other brothers, Jason, Joshua, Jackson, Joey, Jeremiah and Jonathan.” He pointed to another couple to the right of the huge blanket. “And over there is Joel and Mesa.”

  “Wow, what a group.”

  All of the men tipped their hats and grinned while the women smiled and waved. “The little rascal running around is Jeff’s son Ben.”

  The announcer shouted about the potato sack races as four of the brothers jumped to their feet.

  “Can I get anyone anything to drink? There is soda, water, coffee and ice tea at the refreshment tent. From the smells coming from the barbeque area I would say the food will be ready soon.”

  “Great! I’m starved,” Joshua said, whisking by her on his way to grab a sack.

  She watched him as she laughed at the exuberance of the group. Typical men.

  Jacob’s hand dropped to her hip in an almost possessive way, which she found kind of endearing around his brothers. Did he want to stake a claim on her around his bachelor brothers? She put her hand on top of his to remove it, but he held firm. He wasn’t budging as his fingers dug into her hip.

  “I think we’re fine, Paige, but thank you,” Nina said. “Unless Terri or Mesa need something?”

  “I’m fine, Mom,” Mesa said as she jumped to her feet. “I’m going to go beat the pants off these Young brothers in the potato sack races.”

  “Terri,” Jeff asked, smoothing his hand over her protruding belly. “Do you need somethin’, honey?”

  “I’m fine too. I have my water.”

  “Just don’t overdo. Let me know when you want to go home.”

  “Yes, Dad.” She kissed him on the mouth. “I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

  Paige thought it was cute how the men took care of their women. She wanted that someday, but could Jacob be man enough to treat her like something precious in his life? Maybe. She didn’t want to be treated like an antique piece of furniture to be admired, but never handled. She needed a man’s touch, his touch.

  He’d been so loving out at the cemetery when she’d busted out in blubbering tears all over his shirt. She really began to wonder if the Jacob who had been seemed cut off from everything two months ago, really existed.

  “Well, it was great meeting you all. Let me know if you need anything. Enjoy the festivities.”

  “It was great meeting you, Paige. Come back and visit when you have a moment,” Nina said with a smile.

  “I will.” She turned out of Jacob’s hold. “I have to get back.”

  “I’ll walk back with you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I want to.”

  She sighed as she rolled her eyes.

  “I saw that.”

  A giggle escaped her lips the minute he spun her around to face him and pressed his lips to hers.

  Her hands pressed against his chest as he lifted his mouth. The deep brown of his eyes twinkled in the sunlight, letting her know he’d kissed her on purpose to let everyone in the area know they were a couple. But we aren’t, are we?

  “Yes, we are,” he said, pecking her on the lips again before he wrapped an arm around her waist to escort her to the tent.

  “Did I say that out loud?”

  “Yeah, you did and I did it for that reason. Everyone around now knows we are together.”

  Chapter Six

  The afternoon had been wonderful. Jacob was attentive and sweet. They’d even won the three-legged race by him practically carrying her down the race course. But when they’d fallen at the end, she’d ended up on top of him. Her body went haywire as his scent and touch surrounded her. Every muscle bunched beneath her, reminding her of how he’d fucked her senseless. She wanted that again more than anything in this world.

  Now she stood wrapped in his arms as the band played a slow song. They swayed to the music as if they were meant to dance together for a lifetime. It scared the shit out of her.

  “I shouldn’t be dancing with you.”

  “Why not,” he whispered, his lips pressed to her ear.

  “Because I’m hosting this shindig. I should be working.”

  “You can have fun too.”

  “I shouldn’t be.”

  “Yes you should. You did a fabulous job with this party. Tons of people came. Your father’s little church is on the map now.”

  “I wonder how many people will come to services.”

  “I think a lot will. I overheard several peopl
e talking about how personable your father is and how they would love to attend his sermons.”

  “What about the younger people? We need a new crowd to keep the church going.”

  “My family has been looking for a church to attend. The one they were going to before, the pastor left. They don’t like the new one.”

  “I’m sure with a prominent family like yours attending, we’ll get a great turn out.”

  “You might have to build a bigger church.”

  She glanced up as surprise raced through her. “We love this little church. It’s been here for over a hundred years. We don’t want a bigger, fancier one.”

  “What if the congregation grows so big, you can’t handle it in this church? I mean a big wedding would be hard pressed to attend in there. It’s quaint, yes, but it’s very small.”

  “But it’s beautiful. My mother used to sing in the choir in there. My father has been preaching there for over fifteen years. They can’t want a bigger church.”

  “Easy, darlin’. It’s just a thought.”

  “Well, get that thought right out of your head, Jacob. I won’t have them tearing down my church.”

  “No one said anything about tearing it down.”

  “But they would have to so they could build a bigger one. Bigger isn’t always better.”

  “Honey, calm down.”

  “I won’t! No one is tearing down this church.”

  Jacob pressed his lips to hers as she twisted in his arms. How could he want to kiss her while she was so upset?

  Her mind sidetracked to the feel of his lips on hers. She loved to have him kiss her. Her mouth opened to the touch of his tongue as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  A moment later, a throat clearing penetrated her foggy brain. She glanced over Jacob’s shoulder to see the frown on her father’s face. Oops.

  “Hi.”

  “Can I speak to you a minute, Paige?”

  “Sure.” She gave Jacob a peck on the mouth figuring she was already in deep shit, what did one more kiss hurt. She followed her father into the shadows, prepared for the reprimand coming.

  “Paige, is it necessary to be kissing the man like that in front of everyone? Where are your morals, young lady?”

  “Right where they should be, Daddy.”

  “I find your behavior offensive and I won’t have you pawing at him in front of parishioners. You’re acting like some loose woman.”

  “Maybe I am. There is nothing wrong with me.”

  “I didn’t say there was, Paige, but this behavior isn’t becoming of you in the least. You don’t act like this. What would your mother think?”

  “I have to believe mother would be happy for me.” She closed her eyes for a moment, but when she reopened them, the disappointment in his eyes still hurt her heart. “I’m sorry you are upset with me over this, but I like Jacob. A lot. You said yourself he seemed like a nice Christian man when you met him earlier.”

  “That was before I saw him seducing my daughter in front of the churchgoers.”

  “He wasn’t seducing me. He kissed me. Nothing more.”

  “With tongues!”

  “Like you never kissed mother with your tongue.”

  “We were married.”

  “So maybe I’m marrying Jacob!”

  “Whoa.” Jacob stepped into the shadows. “We aren’t gettin’ married.”

  “I know that!”

  “Then don’t say we are.”

  “Just stop, all right. It’s nothing, Father. We weren’t having sex in the middle of the dance floor.”

  “You might as well have been.”

  “Really? What we were doing wasn’t even close to what sex was like between us.”

  “Paige!” Both her father and Jacob yelled at the same time.

  “What? It’s wasn’t and you know it to be true, Jacob. What happened between us was a lot more explosive than merely kissing out there.”

  “You’ve had sex with him?” Her father whipped his finger between the two of them. “The two of you had sex?”

  “Yes, Daddy we did. Not that big of a deal.”

  “Oh my.” Her father stepped aside, sinking onto a chair sitting near the empty refreshment tent flap. “Heavenly Father, please help this wayward child come back to your loving presence. Show her that premarital sex isn’t the right thing to do and that you forgive her for her sins.”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with it.”

  “Now Paige,” Jacob added.

  “Don’t now Paige me, buddy.” She pressed her finger into the middle of his chest. “You were there too so you’ve done your sinly duties in this mess too.”

  “Ask for forgiveness, Paige, and the Lord will see you’ve repented.”

  “I’m not, Daddy. What I had with Jacob was wonderful and I’m not sorry.”

  “Go to the house then.”

  “No.”

  “Paige—”

  “I’m not twelve anymore, Father. So stop treating me like I am. I’m a grown woman. If I want to have sex with Jacob, I will. If I want to stay out late, I will. If I don’t want to go the nursing home anymore, I will.” She dropped to her knees in front of him as she took his hands in hers. “I’m twenty-seven years old, Daddy. I can make my own decisions.”

  He swept her bangs away from her face. “When did you grow up?”

  “A long time ago.”

  “I never saw it coming. I want my little girl back.”

  “She’s still inside me, Daddy, but she only comes out to enjoy sunshine picnics, swing sets and daydreams.” She kissed his cheek. “I have my own life to lead now. I can’t be what you want me to be.” She stood and walked into Jacob’s arms. “Let’s go watch the fireworks.”

  Her father stayed on the chair as she led Jacob down to the knoll where they could see the fireworks better.

  “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

  “Yes, I did. I needed him to see me for the real me instead of the child he remembers me as.”

  “You broke his heart.”

  “I don’t think so, but I do wish my mother were here. She would understand and help him understand.” Jacob sat on the grass and pulled her between his legs so her buttocks rested against his crotch. “Happy to see me, big boy?”

  “Always, baby. It’s been a while.”

  “For you too? I wondered.”

  “I haven’t been with anyone since we were together, Paige.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I wanted you.”

  “Sounds like a serious ailment.”

  “It is. It’s been torture the last two months. I haven’t masturbated that many times since I turned fifteen.”

  The band quit playing as the fireworks started exploding over their heads with the appropriate ohs and ahs from the crowd with each burst of color. Jacob’s hands did a slow crawl up and down her arms as she snuggled against his chest with her back.

  “You look beautiful today.”

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s kind of strange seeing you without your leather.”

  “You saw me at the store without it.”

  “Yeah, but I was surprised.” He played with her braid. “I like your hair loose better so I can run my fingers through the strands.”

  “I didn’t want it loose so it was in the food or anything.”

  “It’s soft.” He tickled her cheek with the end of her braid. “I love it wrapped around my fist as I fuck you senseless.”

  “Charmer.”

  “I can’t wait to get you alone.”

  “It might be a bit. I have to clean up.”

  “I’ll help.” He wrapped his arms around her waist as she settled hers on top of his. “I love holding you like this.”

  “We didn’t do any snuggling really, when we were together before.”

  “We haven’t done a lot of things dating couples do.”

  “Are we dating?”

  “What do you th
ink?”

  She sighed.

  “That didn’t sound very happy.”

  “I am. I’m just upset with my father. The conversation didn’t go well.”

  “Let’s get this talk about us out of the way first and then we’ll worry about your father. Okay?”

  “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

  “We’re dating, right?”

  “I guess. I mean you haven’t really asked me out or anything. You just show up here, bully-kiss me and then expect to be welcomed with open arms.”

  “Yep. That’s about it.”

  “Typical man.”

  “No. A man who knows what he wants and got tired of waiting for the woman to figure it out. You didn’t call me.”

  “No, I didn’t.” She plucked at the hair on his arm, pulling slightly. “Not that I didn’t think about you, a hell of a lot.”

  “I’m glad I wasn’t alone then, because I thought about you a lot too.”

  “You don’t know how many times I pick up the phone to call, but lost my nerve.”

  “Why?” he asked, concern in his voice.

  “I wasn’t sure what to say to you,” she whispered, unsure of confessing all her secrets to him would be a wise decision.

  “How about I want to see you?”

  She shook her head. “Too easy. I knew I wanted to see you, but it would have meant an apology for my erratic behavior at the store.”

  “Why did you freak?”

  She shifted so she could look into his eyes. “We’d slept together once, Jacob, and there you were introducing me to your mother.”

  “It wasn’t a big deal, Paige. It was only a coincidence thing. Not something I planned. It wasn’t like a big family to-do where you came over to the house so everyone could meet you because we were getting married or something.”

  “I know, but meeting the family seems too permanent to me.”

  “You met everyone today.”

  “Yeah, but you realize it was after you met my father.”

  “Which we hadn’t planned either.” He stroked a finger down her cheek. “He wasn’t at the store was he?”

  “No. It was an excuse to leave.”

  “I figured as much.”