The Midwife's Dilemma

by Delia Parr

  Which meant she needed lots of time to pray in order to silence her own mind so she could listen to the answers God was sure to whisper to her heart.

  26

  Even the weather seemed to know that today was a special day when the third Sunday in July dawned bright and clear and comfortably warm.

  Only three short days after Thomas left for New York, Victoria would become Mrs. Benjamin McMillan. The wedding would take place in just a few hours.

  Today should be a day of celebration and joy for Martha, not a day spoiled by disappointment that her brother and his wife could not be here or bittersweet memories of the day she had married John Cade. While she did regret that Thomas was not here to share this momentous day with her, she had tucked away the dilemma of his final ultimatum deep within her heart, unwilling to let anything distract her from enjoying the last few days she had Victoria at home with her.

  When she pinned the brooch from Dr. McMillan to the collar of her gown, she could scarcely believe that over the past eight days, she had managed to safely deliver two precious babes, regretfully eliminated one more woman from the dwindling list of potential candidates to replace her as midwife, tended to an entire family suffering from ringworm, and visited with Oliver and his family, especially her two darling granddaughters. And she had still managed to help Victoria pack for her wedding trip and help make arrangements for the celebration they had planned for later that morning with the entire congregation.

  The moment she slipped out of her room, the tantalizing aromas filtering up from the confectionery testified to the fact that the entire household had been just as busy preparing for this day as she had been. She hurried to Victoria’s room, where she found her daughter looking out the window.

  “It’s a perfect day! It’s warm and sunny and there’s not a cloud in the sky!” Victoria exclaimed as she turned around. “We can have our celebration outside after the ceremony just like we hoped.”

  Martha caught her breath. She had always thought Victoria was an attractive young woman. Wearing the lavender gown she reserved for Sunday services and special occasions, her daughter was a pure vision of loveliness. The excitement of the day had painted her cheeks just rosy enough, and her eyes shimmered with joy that must have flowed straight up from her heart.

  “You look beautiful,” Martha said. “The needlework Comfort added to the collar of your gown makes a lovely backdrop for your brooch.”

  Victoria swirled about the room, swishing her skirts and grinning. “I’m so happy. I just wish I had wings so I might fly all the way to the meetinghouse. I can’t wait to marry Benjamin.”

  Martha chuckled. “Even if you could fly there straightaway, you’d still have to sit through the services before Reverend Welsh performs the ceremony.”

  “While everyone else is waiting to sample some of the treats that Miss Fern and Miss Ivy have spent the past week making for today,” Victoria teased. She crossed the room and wrapped Martha in a long embrace. “Thank you for not making us wait any longer.”

  “You should thank Reverend Welsh, too. If he hadn’t given you permission to marry on such short notice, you would have been forced to wait, regardless of whether or not I approved.”

  “We already did,” Victoria replied and her eyes twinkled even brighter. “Don’t you think it’s exciting that we’re going to follow Oliver and his family this afternoon to go to Boston for our wedding trip?”

  Martha hugged her daughter back, inhaling the scent of her to store away in her scrapbook of memories. “I’d be a whole lot happier if I could be certain that you and your new husband won’t be so taken with Boston while you’re visiting some of his relatives there, too, that you’ll change your mind about returning to Trinity. I don’t think I could bear it if both of my children lived so far away from me.”

  Victoria tried to step back, but the betrothal brooch she had pinned to her gown caught on Martha’s, and she froze. “It looks like we’re pinned together at the moment, which may be a sign that you needn’t worry. I’ve had my fill of city living, although I’d love to go back to New York someday to visit Mr. and Mrs. Morgan and to see how Nancy is faring. But don’t worry. As far as I’m concerned, our home will always be right here in Trinity, and Benjamin feels the same way,” she insisted and frowned for a moment before she found her smile again. “Maybe we could all go to New York early next spring, right before our articles appear in that magazine. We could see Nancy and the Morgans and then go to Boston to visit Oliver!” she exclaimed and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Maybe by then you’ll be married to Mr. Dillon, unless you decide to just enjoy the gift we gave you instead. Better still, you could do both,” she teased.

  “We’ll . . . we’ll see,” Martha replied. She could not stop the warmth creeping up her neck that threatened to paint a blush to her cheeks. “There. That should do it.” She stepped back after freeing their brooches and examined the needlework on Victoria’s collar. “No damage done. Now, is there anything else you need to do up here, or can we start downstairs? There’s only an hour or so left before we have to leave for the meetinghouse.”

  Victoria hooked her arm with Martha’s. “That’s just about enough time for you to get your fill of sweets,” she teased and ushered them out of the room and into a future that was waiting for them both.

  Immediately following the Sunday service, Reverend Welsh invited Victoria and Dr. McMillan to join him at the front of the packed meetinghouse.

  Even though Oliver and his family were sitting with her in her customary bench and the meetinghouse was completely filled, Martha felt like she was all alone inside of a large, translucent bubble, unaware of everyone else there. As Victoria and Dr. McMillan pledged their lives and troth to one another and became husband and wife, she thanked God for the privilege of being here to witness this moment and prayed that God would forever be the center of this young couple’s lives.

  Following the very brief ceremony, Martha followed the newly married couple out of the meetinghouse, where they were joined by the rest of the congregation in the side yard. A soft breeze chased away the heat of midday, and friends had set up a long row of planked tables that were decorated with vases of wild flowers and covered with plates of sweet treats from the confectionery, along with bowls of punch.

  While the newlyweds were off receiving congratulations and Oliver was introducing his new family all around, Martha received her own well-wishes from longtime friends, including Anne Sweet, who did not miss the opportunity to question Martha discretely about her own future plans—questions Martha left unanswered.

  After an hour or so, with the excitement of the day still holding exhaustion at bay, she welcomed an opportunity to stand alone and simply watch everyone else.

  Bless their hearts, Fern and Ivy were watching over the treats on the tables, refilling the serving plates as they emptied, and chatting with Rosalind Andrews, who had insisted on helping today. Jane and Cassie were assisting, too, busy at work keeping the punch bowls filled.

  When Martha spied something sparkling at the edge of the woods at the rear of the property, she saw the outline of three familiar figures standing within a copse of trees and realized that the sun must have caught on one of Fancy’s many earrings.

  In truth, she was not surprised that Fancy was nearby, keeping a watchful eye on Cassie, but she was surprised to find Samuel so close to so many people. She waved to catch their attention when they turned to leave and held up one of her fingers to urge them to stay there. After quickly filling several plates with goodies, she carried them over to the odd threesome.

  As she handed the plates to Will and Fancy, she saw the sugar crumbs stuck at the corners of the boy’s lips and grinned. Will had obviously ventured out of the woods to snatch a few treats, but he was not about to turn down more. “I’ve been looking and looking for all of you,” she scolded gently as she put a plate of desserts into Samuel’s hand. “I’m pleased to see that the bruises on your face are fading, and I’m glad
you’re still wearing that sling,” she offered, but she did not comment about the walking stick leaning against a nearby tree.

  Samuel shrugged. “Can’t say I don’t welcome the sweets,” he said, ignoring her comments about his health before he shifted the plate to the hand sticking out from the sling so he could pick up a cookie. “You know I don’t take to bein’ around so many people, especially all in one place, but I waited for young William to let me know that you saw I was here before we left,” he said before he popped the cookie into his mouth.

  “I wanted to thank you again for letting Will take care of Bella for me, too. It’s a relief not to have to worry about that horse,” she admitted, still surprised that Samuel had needed no convincing at all.

  He snorted. “Responsibility is good for William, but I’m guessin’ it must be a bit humblin’ for you to admit you finally met somethin’ you couldn’t control.”

  She frowned and decided not to offer a retort and turned to address Fancy. “I trust you’re making good use of Will’s spyglass.”

  “Yes, ma’am, as a matter of fact, I am,” he said between bites of strudel. “No harm’s gonna come to young Cassie. Not as long as I’m around.”

  “Even so, I appreciate that you’re looking out for her, and so is everyone else at the confectionery,” she offered before turning her attention to Will. “As for you, young man, I was wondering how you and Bella were getting along. Mr. Sweet down at the general store tells me you’ve been in to get the feed you need for her.”

  He shrugged his shoulders and shoved two molasses cookies into his mouth. “She ain’t bad, for a horse. Me and Fancy started on a lean-to already. She’ll be needin’ it come winter,” he replied, although he had so much in his mouth that his words were garbled.

  “She will at that, assumin’ I decide you can keep her,” Samuel argued. “You still got half a summer left to prove yourself. I don’t have eyes that work anymore, but Fancy does, and I got a good pair of ears. You might do well to remember that.”

  “Yes, sir,” Will grumbled.

  Martha kept a chuckle from escaping her lips. She didn’t need to worry about how well Will was taking care of the horse. She trusted Samuel to handle that. And she trusted Fancy in that regard, too.

  “There you are, Martha! Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! Martha!”

  When Martha turned around, she saw Fern waddling in their direction and waving her handkerchief in the air. “I’d better go.”

  Obviously anxious to leave, Samuel held out his half-filled plate, but she urged him to keep it. “Take the plates with you. I’ll stop by the cabin in a few days to get them,” she insisted and hurried off to meet Fern to see what she wanted.

  By the time they met, Fern was practically gasping for breath. “If you don’t hurry, you’re going to miss them. They’re all ready to leave, but they can’t go before they say good-bye to you. Come with me. I’ll take you straight to them.”

  Martha’s heart skipped a beat, then settled into a series of dull thuds. She had looked forward to many things on this day, but saying good-bye to her children and grandchildren was not one of them. Even though she knew right where to go, she followed Fern back to the front of the meetinghouse where Oliver and Dr. McMillan had positioned their carriages.

  The crowd that had gathered around them parted to let her through, and she approached Oliver and his family first. After hugs all around and promises to visit again soon, she waited for her son to get his new family settled before she walked over to the carriage where Victoria and Dr. McMillan were standing, waiting for her.

  Beaming with pride, Dr. McMillan held Victoria’s arm, but he left her side to embrace Martha. “Don’t forget to remind folks that if they really need a doctor that they should send for Doc Williams in Sunrise, although I’m rather certain you can handle most any emergency. And if you can find it in your heart not to be stubborn about it, you might want to reconsider using the office I’d set aside for you months ago while I’m gone. And don’t worry. I won’t keep your girl away forever. We’ll be back in a month or so,” he promised.

  “I’m going to hold you to your word,” Martha teased and hugged him back.

  When he stepped aside, Victoria moved right into her mother’s arms and held on tight. “Benjamin will take good care of me, and Oliver will be right there in case he doesn’t. And I’ll write. I promise,” she said before she lowered her voice to a whisper. “And I’ll be thinking about the secret we share, too.”

  Martha was surprised at how quickly her tears welled and overflowed, and her throat constricted as she embraced her daughter, who had no idea of how Thomas’s proposal had changed. “I know, dear girl. I know,” she managed.

  “Safe travels. All of you,” Martha cried when both carriages finally pulled away. While the guests showered Dr. McMillan and Victoria with wild flowers, Martha gave up trying to stem another flow of tears and simply dabbed them away.

  She watched with blurred vision as the carriages headed out of town. Today was a life-altering day for her daughter, who had set aside her place as a child and a daughter to assume the adult role of a wife, but it was also a day that marked a significant change in Martha’s life. Now that both of her children were grown and married, her primary role as a mother was basically finished.

  When Fern and Ivy took a place on either side of her, she let out a long breath. She did not argue when they urged her to go back to the confectionery with them, leaving Rosalind behind to take charge of recruiting others to help clear away the remnants of the celebration in the yard.

  As the two sisters bantered back and forth about how lovely the day had been, Martha barely heard them because she was too caught up in the thought that now that the rest of her family was gone, she would finally have time to make one of the most important decisions of her life.

  “Finally, home is within view,” Fern announced.

  With no traffic on West Main Street, they crossed right away, quickly rounded the far end of the confectionery, and turned down the alley. As they passed the side window, Ivy took Martha’s arm. “We haven’t seen you for more than a few moments after the ceremony, and I’d surely love for the three of us to be able to sit a spell and chat.”

  “You mean gossip, which will have to wait if you’re absolutely determined to lower yourself to the same level as Anne Sweet,” Fern noted with a huff and glared at her sister. “Honestly, Ivy, can’t you see that Martha is thoroughly exhausted? She needs a good nap, not a gossip session.”

  “I’d love to have your company and have a cup of tea with both of you,” Martha offered, “but as far as gossiping . . .” Embarrassed, she paused to stifle a yawn. Whether she was tired from lack of sleep or overwork or simply a case of experiencing too many emotions today, the thought of a nap was tempting indeed, but she favored some time with her friends to savor the excitement of the day a bit more.

  “Fern’s right,” Ivy suggested when they reached the back door. “I’ll fix a cup of tea for you and bring it up to your room. We’ll have plenty of time to chat together later. It’ll be just like old times,” she said as she opened the door and stepped back to let Martha and Fern enter before her.

  “Old times,” Martha repeated. She did not want to argue with Ivy, yet she was quite certain the days ahead would be anything but. With Dr. McMillan gone, she could look forward to long days of work that would often extend into all hours of the night, and on less busy days she would be consumed by her search for her replacement and the question of how she would make use of the gifts she had received from Aunt Hilda and her children. When she would finally crawl into her bed at night, however, she had little expectation she would get any solid sleep.

  Not until she resolved her dilemma and decided exactly what she would tell Thomas when he returned. And in the end, it all boiled down to which two simple words she would say. “I do” or “I won’t.”

  Those words were not really so simple to say at all, were they?

  27

 
The cottage had needed a good scrubbing after a family with two young children had called it home. It had taken Martha nearly a week to put a shine on the cottage again, but she had finally finished today.

  She took one last look around the sitting room before she secured the front door. As she retraced her steps and returned to the kitchen, she tucked the new memories she had created here with her own family, most especially her precious granddaughters, right next to her lifelong memories of Aunt Hilda.

  Martha paused for a moment to arch her back and eased away an annoying kink. She wished she could chase away the pain and worry in her heart as easily.

  With Thomas’s return drawing ever nearer, she was no closer to knowing what she was going to tell him than she had been before he left. In addition to working here at the cottage and helping occasionally with household tasks at the confectionery, she had been called out to duty for one ailment or another nearly every day for one of her patients or Dr. McMillan’s. She’d simply not had enough time to resolve all the uncertainties in her life.

  More determined than ever to end her days as a midwife, however, she had used the one totally free day she’d had yesterday to borrow a mare from Thomas’s stable. After riding out of town to see the final two women on her list of likely replacements, she returned to Trinity in failure—not that she could argue with either of the two women. Daisy Pyne’s elderly parents had moved in and required too much care for her to leave them, and Esther Mitchell simply said she had absolutely no interest in becoming a midwife, in part because of her husband’s disapproval.

  Disheartened, Martha resolved it was time to decide whether or not she should marry Thomas. Right now and right here.

  She glanced over at the rocking chairs in front of the hearth and shook her head. No, not here. The cottage was definitely not the place she should make her final decision about whether she would marry him or not—not with images of what it might be like to live with him here as his wife.