Miranda Hart

by Sophie Johnson

  On the date, Gary suggests that, to get rid of the awkwardness between them, they should sleep together. But this doesn’t quite go to plan, as we’ve already seen. Things become more complicated when Miranda meets Tilly for a wedmin lunch (‘wedding admin, keep up’). Dreamboat Charlie is there, the awful man she went on a blind date with in the first series. He is trying to get Miranda’s knickers off, as usual, and Rupert (‘Call me The Bear!’), Tilly’s fiancé, gets rather too close for comfort.

  Miranda and Gary sneak off to the park and he suggests that they do it al fresco (which Miranda confuses with the phrase ‘al dente’). Penny and Tilly, looking at flowers for wedding inspiration, interrupt the pair, and they give the pathetic excuse that they were looking for animals, ‘because apparently animals have escaped from the local circus’.

  With Miranda having told Gary she finds rushing for any spare moment is far too pressurised, Tilly and Rupert come by the flat. Stevie tells Miranda that she should set a honey trap so that Tilly can find out what Rupert is really like. But just as this seems to be going a little too well for Miranda’s comfort, Dreamboat Charlie turns up at her window and climbs into the kitchen. She hides him in the bathroom while Rupert is waiting in the bedroom. Exhausted, she turns to camera with a knowing look and says, ‘This is turning into a French farce!’ Then Gary arrives in only a dressing gown and things are looking up, but in burst Penny, Tilly and Stevie, seeing Miranda with the half-naked Gary. Then Dreamboat Charlie throws the bathroom door open, revealing him wearing very little and shouting ‘Mirandy!’ Rupert exits the bedroom in just his underwear proclaiming, ‘I must have you!’, before spotting that his fiancée is in the room. Everyone stares in shocked silence apart from Penny, who is delighted: ‘Go, Miranda!’

  Miranda tells Gary she can explain the situation, but that she had better look after Tilly first.

  Gary tells her not to worry and that it will happen if it’s meant to. Miranda turns to camera and says, exasperated, ‘It better!’

  ‘This episode I call my soap opera episode,’ Hart said on her blog of ‘A New Low’, the fourth episode, ‘as there’s a bit of a sad twist at the end. Ooh, exciting, how can you NOT tune in now?! Marvellouso, enjoy-ingtons.’

  Miranda and Stevie compete over which of them is better friends with Conky’s Grill’s new waitress Tamara, while Clive is getting increasingly annoyed as she does very little work. Stevie and Miranda go to an art class with Tamara and, when it finishes, reluctantly agree to go clubbing, determined not to show their age. Returning home from the club, they’re exhausted but Tamara is still hyper and wants to stay up to see the sun rise. When she calls them middle-aged, assuming them to be in their mid-forties, they try their hardest to prove they’re still young and can have fun. In order to stay awake they drink (and eat) coffee, smash cymbals to wake each other up and even resort to licking batteries (do not try this at home!).

  At 9am, Tamara is still tirelessly enthusiastic and suggests they go swimming and shopping. In the changing rooms, Miranda struggles with getting into her swimsuit without showing any flesh. Meanwhile, Gary has told Miranda that he’s booked a spa break, but – what with the male nude at the art class, embarrassment from changing at the pool and then being made to imagine her mother naked – she is all cringed out. In an attempt to learn to love her body, she decides to volunteer as a life model for the art class.

  Afterwards, Miranda is feeling confident, but this soon dissipates when she discovers that Gary is married to Tamara. Miranda and Gary have a massive argument and she ends up breaking it off with him. Tamara has left to give them space, but, as a way of saying sorry, she leaves her nude painting of Miranda as a gift. The whole cast stand around and stare at it as the ‘You Have Been Watching’ credits roll.

  Viewing figures dipped a little that night, but it wasn’t that Miranda’s popularity was waning; the show was competing with a special live episode of Coronation Street (which was celebrating its 50th anniversary) on ITV. Tom Ellis’s reaction on Twitter reminded viewers of the sitcom’s Tuesday night repeat: ‘Ok so we lost a few viewers to corrie last night but don’t worry coz Miranda is repeated tonight at 10pm bbc2…miss it miss out! X.’

  The fifth episode, ‘Just Act Normal’, was something of a departure from the show’s usual format, as Hart explained on her blog: ‘It’s set in one room and all played in real time. I have always wanted to write one of those sitcom episodes, having been inspired by David Renwick’s One Foot In the Grave episodes, when he would just have Victor at home for half an hour or two people stuck in a car. And of course I was initially inspired by Hancock’s Half Hour where it would just be Tony Hancock for, well, half an hour. (I know, aren’t I clever?).’

  Hart explained that she found it a struggle to write because of the restrictions of the one set. ‘It all becomes jokes which I don’t really do. It also gave me massive respect for the writers of Roger and Val… which I think is a wonderful show.’

  Roger and Val Have Just Got In, written by sisters Beth and Emma Kilfoyle, featured just its two central characters, played by Dawn French and Alfred Molina, in a situation conducted in real time.

  ‘A New Low’, then, finds Miranda and Penny spending the whole 30 minutes of the episode in the office of psychiatrist Dr Hopkins, who is played by the comic actor Mark Heap. They’re there because, to stop Miranda being arrested, Penny told the police that she was ‘one pashmina short of a wardrobe’. Miranda got into a bit of a pickle pretending she was a boy’s teacher in order to excuse shouting at him (because he made her drop her ice cream). She ended up having to buy the whole class ice creams and then forgot to pay, so she had to run away. Well, actually she galloped. And so, Miranda and her mother agreed to visit a psychiatrist and get an assessment in order for Miranda to avoid being arrested.

  Throughout the time they spend in Dr Hopkins’ office, Penny is constantly reminding her daughter to act normal, but this only distresses her and she ends up acting even more strangely. The appointment starts badly – Dr Hopkins walks in to see Miranda drinking water from his briefcase – and only goes downhill from there. When they see him making notes, they are determined to see what he has written. Penny distracts him with a song and a dance while Miranda has a look but, alas, his notes are in shorthand.

  At the end of the session, they manage to get hold of his notebook and are furious that he has been working on his Christmas shopping list. They ask what the bit written in shorthand is and he says, ‘Just some thoughts as the top of the session.’ They demand he tell them what he has written, so he obliges: ‘Mother and daughter. Mother’s protective instinct has become dominating fuelled by fear of how she’s perceived by outer world. Daughter seeks mother’s guidance and approval as she has yet to find her own voice.’

  They pause. Then reply in unison, ‘Absolute rubbish!’

  ‘Haaaaappppyyyy Chhrriiissstmassss!’ Miranda greeted her blog readers ahead of series two’s festive finale. ‘I LOVE Christmas. Can’t get enough of mulled wine, a roaring fire, fairy lights, mince pies, even ice skating. I’m quite good – I can even go backwards. Oh yes, you heard it here first.’

  With ‘The Perfect Christmas’, Miranda had her own very special Yuletide edition of her sitcom, a prospect she found most exciting. ‘I was thrilled to be able to write a Christmas episode. It was like we had our own Christmas when we filmed it.’ The scenes shot on location were filmed much earlier than the studio session (in September) and Miranda made a little confession about how warm she was dressed in knitwear: ‘If you so desire, you can look closely at the scene of me in the post office and there is definitely a very sweaty upper lip area. I know – sexy. Hello boys!’

  ‘The Perfect Christmas’ begins with a special festive version of the titles, complete with jingle bells, and a Santa hat atop Miranda’s bonce. In her introductory monologue, she tells the viewers that she and Gary have made up (by her putting mashed potato in his hair). Tom Conti has joined the cast to play her character’s father, a
nd makes a spectacular entrance, tripping over a suitcase on the floor. As well as the Christmas presents she has ordered online that are yet to be delivered, Miranda has things on her mind. She has a rash on her breast, so goes to see Dr Gail, who turns out to be a male doctor, and a rather attractive one at that. Miranda tries to flirt with him by assuring him that her other breast is completely normal. It doesn’t work, but she leaves knowing that, thankfully, there is nothing to worry about.

  While she was out, Miranda has missed the delivery of her Christmas presents and Stevie has been too busy with a rush of customers, so she calls the depot to rearrange delivery for Christmas Eve. While at the restaurant, Miranda is subjected to the sight of her mother trotting in dressed as a reindeer and singing ‘Jingle Bells’. She tries to get out of going to the family pre-Christmas jumper party, but of course fails, thanks to Penny’s ‘Such fun!’ philosophy. At the party, she is surprised to be introduced to the now-familiar Dr Gail, but she suggests to him that they should pretend not to know each other. ‘We could have an affair,’ she adds optimistically.

  The next day, Miranda takes charge of the joke shop in order to look out for the delivery man, but while she is hiding from carol singers – and forcing her customers to do so as well – a depot card drops through the letterbox, and she has missed it. Never mind – when her friends’ Christmas plans fall through, she suggests they could celebrate the perfect Christmas at her flat.

  The night before Christmas finds her and her guests playing charades, excitedly expecting the big day. Overnight, Gary and Miranda have to share the sofa bed in the lounge (the others have vowed not to, owing to her wind). Gary tells her not to worry about getting him a present because having his friend back is the best present he could have.

  Touched, Miranda asks, ‘Really?’ and Gary jokes, ‘No! Where’s my present, you bitch?’

  Christmas Day starts well, but, when relations between her guests descend into bickering, Miranda decides to run away to her mother’s for the day. As she tries to sneak away, one by one the other guests catch and join her, until she realises they’re all with her and stops trying to escape. Former post office villain Ray turns out to be a good Samaritan when he turns up at the house and agrees to let Miranda have her delivery of presents. The episode ends with the entire cast gathered around a piano for a rendition of ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’.

  Though Miranda Hart does enjoy spending Christmas with her parents, she has confessed that ‘by the fifth day I’m craving time on my own… I’ll go into small-talk meltdown if I have to answer another “Isn’t the weather cold?” “What are you doing for the New Year?” or “Is the family well?”’

  A few days before the final episode aired on 20 December 2010, Hart gave her Twitter followers an idea of how she preferred to spend the Christmas season: ‘Off to see @louiespence in panto with Sarah Hadland. Evenings don’t get much better than that.’

  Miranda’s Christmas special saw a record number of viewers for the show, attracting an impressive 4.4 million. Comedy website Chortle reported that this was 50 per cent more than the last series’ finale ‘and 73 per cent higher than BBC Two normally gets in the 8.30pm Monday slot. Overall, the series averaged 3.2 million viewers per episode, up more than 25 per cent on the 2.5 million of the first series.’

  Critics were just as positive about Miranda’s second coming: ‘It is solid, heartening fare and I nearly laughed my leg off,’ wrote Lucy Mangan in the Guardian.

  But it had been hard work. Before it was announced that another series would be made, Hart told Stylist magazine, ‘I don’t think I’m ready to write again yet. I’d like to do a third series, but there’s nothing official yet and I definitely need a break to really think about where I want to go to get the joy back.’

  The announcement came amid Miranda’s awards mania and she seemed a bit overwhelmed by how fast things were moving. She told Channel 4’s Alan Carr, ‘We only finished recording the second [series] on December 6th, so really recently. So I’m kind of taking a bit of a break to see what I want to do with the next series and when…’

  Confirmation came with an announcement to fans on Hart’s official website, at www.mirandahart.com: ‘Thank you for all your enquiries about being in the audience of the sitcom recordings of Series 3. It won’t be filming until sometime in 2012, dates yet to be arranged, but there might be news at the end of this year about it. So keep popping back.’

  But bigger news was on the horizon. Not only would Miranda return for a third series, it would also be moving to a new home at the higher-profile BBC One. George Entwistle, Acting Director of BBC Vision, said in a press release, ‘Miranda’s been a tremendous hit with audiences on BBC Two and I’m very glad she’s let us persuade her to move to BBC One, where we believe we can build an even bigger following for her multi-award-winning show.’

  Hart herself came across as excited, but a little nervous about the decision to switch channels. ‘I am very grateful to BBC Two for supporting and nurturing me, and trusting my vision for the show. Two will always feel like home. Now I feel like I am renting a swish apartment that I hope I don’t look out of place in or break all the furniture!’

  This has created even more pressure on Hart for writing the third series. She considers it harder writing for BBC One. ‘You have to have proper jokes, and jokes are really hard to write. It’s much easier being characterful and oblique on a niche channel where you don’t need laughs.’

  But judging from what has been before, it’s sure to be a series worth waiting for.

  19

  THE RISE OF THE OFFICE TEMP

  ‘Initially I treated the job at Comic Relief as just another of my many temp jobs whilst trying to get in to acting. However, within a few weeks I realised what a special place it was.’

  – Miranda

  Until 2005, when she was offered the part of Teal in Hyperdrive, Miranda was still temping as a PA. From 2001 to 2003, this was with Comic Relief and she formed an unbreakable bond with the charity: ‘I would take minutes of the meetings that decided where the grants would go. So I learned a huge amount and that changed my outlook completely. It’s an extraordinary place, the passion and commitment there.’

  In 2007, four years after working at Comic Relief, Hart appeared in one of its fundraising shows. Hyperdrive series one had already aired and she was beginning to gain recognition, so was asked to take part in that year’s Comic Relief Does Fame Academy. The show was a celebrity spin-off from the BBC’s singing talent competition that introduced David Sneddon, Alex Parks and – most enduringly – Lemar (Obika). Three Comic Relief spin-offs had been organised in 2003, 2005 and now 2007. Hart’s profile on the Fame Academy website sounded promising: ‘Her musical abilities include singing mezzo soprano, playing piano to grade 6, performing basic tap, jazz and period dance.’ In the harsh reality of the studio lights, however, she didn’t quite achieve her potential. On the opening night, Miranda and her fellow students sang one song each. The celebs performing alongside Miranda were Rowland Rivron, Linda Robson, Tim Vine, Zoë Salmon, Mel Giedroyc, Fred MacAulay, Angellica Bell, Ray Stubbs, Colin Murray, Shaun Williamson, Tricia Penrose and the eventual winner Tara Palmer-Tomkinson.

  Hosts Patrick Kielty and Claudia Winkleman introduced the songs, while the judging panel, Craig Revel Horwood, Lesley Garrett and Richard Park, told the celebrities what they thought. The phone vote put Miranda, Angellica Bell and Rowland Rivron in the bottom three, meaning they had to perform again, this time for the judges to save them. Lesley saved Miranda but both Craig and Richard chose to keep Angellica, so she was saved. It was down to the eleven other celebrities to decide who should stay. Here Miranda showed her popularity, receiving ten votes, while Rowland only got one for his performance of ‘Stand By Your Man’. Rivron’s solo vote was from Colin Murray who wanted to keep the number of men in the competition up, otherwise ‘everyone would be talking about Sex and the City all the time’. But Rowland was eliminated and Miranda got the chance
to perform again. Dawn French, who was supporting Miranda’s progress in the contest, joked, ‘Miranda? Not particularly funny, but a fabulous singer.’

  In the second heat of the competition, Miranda performed her version of ‘Physical’ by Olivia Newton-John, dressed in workout clothes, and rolling around seductively on stage. Future Strictly Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood described it as ‘limp, lacklustre and not funny’ and even jovial host Kielty said it was ‘slightly more mental than physical’. Yet again Hart was placed in the bottom three, but this time no one came to her rescue and she became the second contestant to be ‘expelled’ from the Academy.

  The ‘Physical’ sequence has occasionally come back to haunt her ever since. In 2008, when she was a contestant on Have I Got News For You, they showed the clip and she tried to hide under the table in embarrassment. It was shown again on ITV’s Daybreak in February 2011, and Adrian Chiles said, ‘That’s excruciating! Were you trying to sing that badly?’

  She explained that she was so nervous that she couldn’t control her throat or voice.

  Comic Relief rested the Fame Academy contest after 2007, replacing it for the next event in 2009 with Let’s Dance for Comic Relief. With her penchant for physical comedy and fundraising, it seems a perfect vehicle for her antics and it wouldn’t be surprising to see her taking part in the future. However, for the 2009 edition of the biennial fundraiser, Hart got another opportunity to become involved, and her chance came via French and Saunders, who were fast becoming mentors of hers. She appeared in Gimme Gimme Gimmick, a spoof version of Phyllida Lloyd’s film version of the Abba musical, Mamma Mia! Miranda took the part of the film’s director, joined by an all-star cast including Sienna Miller, Alan Carr, Joanna Lumley, Matt Lucas, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc. The extended trailer and ‘making-of’ showed a tongue-in-cheek version of the film, which the voiceover described as ‘the genius of Abba, with words in between’. Although an affectionate parody, Saunders’ feelings about the film were made clear in an interview with the Daily Mail. ‘Did I hate it? Um, well, it served its purpose, let’s put it that way.’