And Now You're Back

by Jill Mansell

  As they made their way round to the front door, Will took her hand once more, and the sensation of his fingers interlocking with hers was the best feeling in the world. Every bit of her body was tingling with anticipation now; this was what she’d been waiting for for so—

  ‘Layla, perfect timing!’ Malcolm Painter, who ran the garage repair shop, was hurrying up the road towards her, waving a fat grey folder fastened with several elastic bands. ‘I need to go through these with you and it’s urgent.’

  Was he mad? ‘It’ll have to wait till tomorrow, Malcolm.’

  He looked horrified. ‘But it can’t wait! Come on, love, you always fit me in when I’m in a rush. Can’t we do it now?’

  Honestly, you could tell he’d been married to his wife for forty-two years. Couldn’t he see that she was holding hands with Will, on her way into her flat with him, and that now simply wasn’t the time?

  At her side, Will gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze and she knew he was letting her know that if she did want to go through Malcolm’s mountain of disorganised paperwork, it was fine by him, he was prepared to wait.

  But Layla wasn’t. Sod that. She didn’t want to waste another minute standing out here on the pavement. In a firm but pleasant fashion, she said, ‘Sorry, Malcolm, but it’s a no.’

  As soon as she’d closed the front door behind them, she pressed herself against Will and kissed him again until her entire body was ablaze with excitement. Then she said, ‘There’s something I need to tell you. Well, warn you about.’

  ‘Oh great, here we go. You have a husband. You have six children. You keep baby alligators in the bath.’

  ‘I talk a lot in my sleep.’

  ‘You do?’ Will lifted a strand of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. ‘In that case, there’s something I’d better warn you about too. You’re not going to be getting any sleep.’

  Chapter 45

  ‘Well this is a surprise! I didn’t know you were coming back.’

  Didi’s face had lit up at the sight of her. Caz, dragging her overnight case across the ancient flagstones of the reception hall, inwardly melted with happiness, because it was this kind of genuinely warm welcome that made you choose to return to a hotel. She’d had enough practice over the years learning how to distinguish between those who put on a good show and those who actually meant it.

  Didi was the real deal.

  It was also lovely to know that someone you liked and admired liked you back and wasn’t merely being polite.

  ‘Another flying visit.’ She hugged Didi, breathing in the rose scent of her shampoo. ‘I’m meeting up with a director tomorrow morning who’s working at the RSC in Stratford.’

  ‘Well you’re looking fantastic. Is Shay with you?’

  ‘No, there was no point in him coming too. I’m heading back tomorrow, straight after the meeting.’

  ‘D’you have anything arranged for this evening? If you’re free, we could have dinner. Only if you want to,’ Didi went on hastily.

  ‘Oh hooray, I’d love that! How are things with you?’

  ‘Great. Though I’m not as tanned as you.’

  ‘This is what happens when you spend three weeks frying yourself on a Caribbean beach.’

  ‘And how’s Shay doing?’

  ‘Pretty good. Well, considering. He misses his dad.’

  ‘Of course he does. Look, I’m so sorry, but I have people waiting to see me. Can I leave you with Sylvia to check in? Shall we say eight this evening?’

  ‘Perfect,’ said Caz.

  Didi gave her another hug. ‘Can’t wait. We’ll have a proper catch-up.’

  They had dinner in Caz’s room. Neither of the suites was available so she’d been allocated one of the smaller doubles on the first floor, but it didn’t matter a bit.

  ‘It’s been all fancy stuff and seafood for the last few weeks,’ she said by way of apology, ‘so I’ve been craving pizza and chips. Is that OK?’

  ‘My favourite.’ Sitting cross-legged opposite her on the king-sized bed, Didi opened the lid of the cardboard takeaway box and swooned as a garlicky cloud of steam rose up to greet her. ‘Our restaurant’s great, but we don’t have a proper pizza oven. Carlo’s do the best ones for miles.’

  ‘Shay told me about them last week. He also said you always used to order pepperoni with mushrooms and chillies.’

  ‘He’s remembered that from years ago.’ Didi grinned and shook her head. She lifted out a slice and took a bite. ‘Ow, hot . . .’

  ‘What was Shay’s favourite?’

  ‘Spicy meat feast with extra olives and peppers, which used to cost eighty pence more than mine. Funny how these things stick in your mind. I’ve never understood how people can like olives.’

  ‘And how about Aaron?’ Caz watched as Didi expertly twirled a string of melted cheese around the index finger of her ring-free left hand and popped it into her mouth.

  Didi put down the half-eaten slice of pizza. ‘Tomato and mozzarella. But we broke up.’

  ‘I know. I’m sorry.’ Didi’s eyes widened and Caz explained, ‘When I was checking in, I mentioned something about the wedding to Sylvia and she told me it was all off.’

  ‘It’s not a secret. And I’m not heartbroken. Sometimes you just realise these things aren’t going to work out.’

  ‘If his favourite pizza’s a margherita, I’m not surprised you couldn’t marry him. Sorry again.’ Caz waved a hand by way of apology. ‘But it’s definitely the most boring one. So when did you break up?’

  Didi shrugged. ‘It was more of a gradual fading-away.’

  ‘According to Sylvia, it happened a while back. But you carried on wearing the ring, making out everything was fine. And now you’re looking kind of awkward,’ Caz said mildly. ‘Which is . . . interesting.’

  Didi shook back her hair and picked a slice of mushroom off her pizza. ‘I thought I might change my mind.’

  ‘You wouldn’t do that, though. So that’s a lie, isn’t it?’ Caz gave her foot a gentle nudge to show she wasn’t angry, and saw the faint wash of colour rise up Didi’s neck. ‘See, the thing is, I got kicked out of school at fifteen so I never took any exams, and because of that people tend to assume I’m a bit dim. And when it comes to maths and physics and geography they’re probably right, but where other things are concerned, I’m pretty on the ball.’ She paused significantly. ‘And when it’s anything to do with emotions, I’d say I’m top of the class.’

  ‘OK, I just thought there was enough going on around here without me adding to the drama. I didn’t want people to think I was trying to divert attention away from Red dying.’

  ‘You see, that’s another good answer.’ Caz pointed a triangle of pizza at her. ‘And it’s almost believable. But I think the real reason you kept quiet was because you didn’t want me to worry, or because you didn’t want to give Shay something to think about.’

  Bingo. Didi’s shoulders slumped in defeat. ‘God, how do you even do that? Honestly? OK, you’re right. But you have to know, all I want is for you and Shay to be happy. You’ve found each other and that’s what’s important. And I swear on my life I’d never do anything to try and come between you; I just wouldn’t. I’m not that kind of person, I couldn’t live with myself.’

  Caz nodded. All these years she’d been adept at fooling herself when it came to the men in her life, pulling the wool over her own eyes and believing what she’d so badly wanted to believe. But now it was time to grow up, get a grip and pay attention to her subconscious instead of sticking her fingers in her ears and going la-la-laaa.

  ‘I know you’d never do that.’ For a moment she thought she was going to cry; thankfully the heat at the back of her eyes dispersed in the nick of time.

  ‘You have to believe me,’ Didi insisted.

  ‘I do. I completely trust you.’ Caz reached for her hand and held it. ‘You’re a good person.’

  ‘So are you. And if you two ever fall out, I’ll always be on your side.’


  ‘That’s good to know.’ Dammit, now she really might cry. ‘And can we always be friends too?’

  ‘Definitely.’ Didi raised her own wedge of pizza in a toast and solemnly touched it against Caz’s. A piece of pepperoni slithered off and landed in the lap of her white shorts.

  ‘Shall we get a bottle of red sent up to celebrate?’

  Didi gave her a warning look. ‘You’ve got an interview and an audition with a world-famous director in the morning. So I’m going to be a good friend and say no.’

  Could she make herself do what she knew deep down she needed to do? Caz wondered. Did she have it in her to act like a mature adult for possibly the first time in her life? She reached for her can of Diet Coke and playfully flicked a few drops in Didi’s direction. ‘You can go off people, you know.’

  Twenty-four hours later, as the plane was nearing the end of the nine-hour flight, Caz removed her eye mask. The woman in the business-class seat next to her exclaimed, ‘Oh, thank goodness, I thought you were never going to wake up! Can I have a quick selfie to show my friends I was sat right by you? Otherwise they’ll never believe me.’

  Caz was known for always being nice to people when they stopped her in the street for a chat and a selfie. She sat up, waited for the woman to come and crouch beside her, performed the obligatory smile, then said, ‘Can I just check it’s OK?’ and reached for the phone.

  Yes, as she’d guessed, the woman had been taking sneaky snaps for hours. Over a dozen of them whilst she’d been wearing her eye mask.

  ‘Sorry, couldn’t help myself. It’s OK, though, you weren’t snoring or dribbling. You look lovely even when you’re fast asleep!’

  ‘Well that’s something. Sorry, you’ll have to excuse me.’ Switching on her phone and popping in her earbuds, Caz said, ‘I need to learn some lines.’

  The woman looked overjoyed. ‘Ooh, how exciting, why don’t I help you? I’d love to do that!’

  ‘Thanks, but it’s something I need to do for myself.’

  Caz hadn’t been asleep. All the way across the Atlantic she’d been weighing up everything she knew and wondering if she could bear to go through with it. Would she regret it forever if she did, or struggle to live with her conscience if she didn’t? Could she ever be genuinely deep-down happy knowing what she did?

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, could you please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts,’ came the announcement over the tannoy. ‘We’re now beginning our descent . . .’

  And there was Shay, waiting for her at the arrivals gate, deeply tanned and handsome in jeans and a sea-green cotton shirt. Caz’s heart flip-flopped with yearning as she took in the easy stance, the windswept sun-bleached hair and that beautiful smile.

  Maybe he really does love me.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Oh, that familiar irresistible mouth. ‘You didn’t have to come and meet me. I could have got a cab.’

  ‘No bother. I wasn’t doing anything.’ He rested his hand on her waist as they headed towards the exit. ‘So how did it go, meeting him? When will you hear if you’ve got the part?’

  That was Shay; he always asked the right questions and listened to the answers. To anyone else watching, he seemed like the perfect boyfriend. Behind them, Caz became aware of the telltale click of a camera phone and turned to see the woman from the plane giggling with her friend. The woman waved and called out, ‘Bye, Caz, lovely to meet you!’ The next moment they heard her stage-whisper to her friend, ‘Blimey, is that her boyfriend? Wouldn’t kick him out of bed!’

  OK, enough was enough. Spinning round, Caz said, ‘Let’s face it, he wouldn’t be in your bed in the first place.’

  The woman reddened and hurried away with her friend. Shay frowned. ‘Why did you do that? She didn’t mean anything by it.’

  ‘I know, I’m stressed. She was taking a load of photos of me on the plane. Sometimes people can be really annoying.’

  ‘Let’s get you back to the villa.’ He led her out to the car park, where the rented four-by-four was waiting for them. ‘You’ll feel better after a sleep.’

  Caz said nothing, pretty certain she was going to feel a whole lot worse.

  Chapter 46

  Three hours later, after a fitful doze and a long, cool shower, she joined Shay outside for dinner. Bright stars studded the sky and a crescent moon hung over the sea like the hook in one of those grab-a-teddy machines. As they ate their red snapper, she told him all about the meeting with the director and what it would mean workwise if the job was offered and she accepted it.

  ‘I’d have to spend six weeks over in New York. How would you feel about that?’

  ‘It’s your career. I’m not going to tell you what you should do.’ He was relaxed, unaware that this was one of the easy baseline questions before the real ones got started in the lie-detector test.

  Caz said easily, ‘I had dinner with Didi last night.’ And there it was, the fractional but unmistakable zing of adrenalin through his body, only experienced by proxy but there nevertheless. She’d known it would be; it always was. Without even being aware of it himself, Shay became that fraction more alert whenever Didi’s name was mentioned or she appeared in the vicinity. It was like pressing the enhance button on a photo on your phone. He had no idea he was giving himself away, and no control over it either, but once you’d learned to look out for the signs, there was no mistaking it.

  The Didi effect was always there.

  But since she needed to prove it to herself for the thousandth time, she continued, ‘It was great to see her again.’

  ‘In Stratford?’

  ‘No, I changed my mind, booked into the Wickham last night instead. It’s nicer staying with people you know.’

  ‘Well, good.’ He reached for his glass, took a swallow of wine. ‘So you had fun.’

  ‘We had pizzas from Carlo’s. Remember you told me about them? You were so right, they were the best. And I asked her how the plans were going for the wedding. You know, I really thought they might have invited us. Did you wonder about that?’

  Shay forked up a piece of snapper. ‘It’s not a big wedding. It’s up to them who they invite.’

  She shrugged. ‘I suppose. Well it doesn’t matter now anyway, because it’s all off.’

  He froze. Caz found herself trapped in the twin headlights of his gaze. ‘What’s off?’

  ‘The engagement, the wedding, the whole shebang.’ She noted the single muscle twitching in his jaw, the increased heart rate visible via the pulse in his neck. But it was the look in his eyes that really gave it away.

  ‘Whose decision?’

  ‘Didi’s. She said he didn’t do anything wrong. He’s a nice guy. It just wasn’t enough. She couldn’t go through with it.’

  ‘When did this happen?’

  ‘Weeks ago. Before your dad died.’

  Shay said nothing. He looked away, absorbing this information. Finally he said, ‘Wow.’

  ‘Better to find out sooner than later, and do something about it. Didi’s fine. She’s relieved to have it sorted.’ Building herself up to it, Caz refilled her own glass for Dutch courage. ‘No point wasting other people’s time, is there? That doesn’t help anyone.’

  ‘I guess not.’

  ‘Good. I’m glad you think so.’

  Shay was so deep in thought he didn’t even pick up on the comment. She took a gulp of wine and said, ‘Anyway, never mind them, we need to talk about us.’

  Now she had his attention. ‘What about us?’

  ‘Oh come on, Shay. You know what I’m saying.’

  He grew still. ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘You and me. We should have done this before. But it was never the right time, was it? To begin with your dad was ill, then he got really sick, and only a complete cow would waltz off and leave you while that was going on, and when he died . . . can you imagine how the public would have reacted if I’d broken up with you then? I’d have been labelled the heartless bitch f
rom hell. But it’s been long enough now. We both know this isn’t going anywhere, not really.’

  ‘Okaaay.’ Shay took in what she was saying. ‘I didn’t know you were thinking that.’

  ‘Come on, think it through. I’m pretty and you’re gorgeous, we look great together, we fancied each other from the start and we get on well . . . but we’re basically incompatible. I’m messy, I’m selfish, we don’t like the same movies or books, you think my actor friends are shallow, you don’t like it when I slurp a drink through a straw or sing when you’re watching TV.’ Caz took a breath; now that she’d got going, the reasons were tumbling out. ‘It annoys you when I spill things. It annoys me when you talk about stuff like what politicians are up to, because I don’t care about any of that kind of thing.’

  ‘Right.’ Shay nodded slowly.

  ‘You’re cleverer than me. I find that quite annoying too. Basically, we’ve had fun, but this is as far as it’s going to go. Long-term, we’re a terrible match and I’d drive you insane. So we need to call it a day. I won’t say anything bad about you,’ she concluded in a rush, ‘and I hope you won’t say anything bad about me. How does that sound?’

  Shay said drily, ‘It sounds like you’ve made up your mind.’

  But he was already looking more relaxed. Relieved. She’d just handed him his get-out-of-jail card. ‘See? You’re taking it so well. I’d like it if we could stay friends. I mean, I won’t be around much, what with work and stuff, but it’d be good to keep in touch. Same with Didi if I’m in the Cotswolds, I’d love it if we could meet up. And I’ll always want to stay at my favourite hotel.’ She smiled the kind of delighted smile you were obliged to summon up when the compère announced that the award was going to someone else.

  ‘Of course we can stay friends,’ said Shay.

  ‘Have you decided yet what you’re going to do? Will you live in Elliscombe? Or move back to London? Or there’s always Australia!’

  ‘Who knows?’

  Well I know, I’d bet a million pounds on it.