Horse Crazy

by Susan Kiernan

  But through the worry and the paranoia and the physical discomfort, there was the memory that it used to be good. It used to be fun. There was the image of riding fast as the wind through a sunny pasture, jumping coops and small fences with your horse eager and sure-footed beneath you and the air sweet with spring flowers. Perfect days could be had if only this particular hurdle could be tackled successfully.

  After four months of riding rigidly around in a circle, I slowly began to unclutch the pommel. The dark, bone-cold evenings in the ring gave way to lighter, warmer lessons. My friend came home from New Zealand and I quit the lessons and returned with her to the farm in Cummings, Georgia to finish my treatment; the final steps in my shaky recovery.

  In many ways, I left the lessons more afraid than when I began. But, in any event, I had developed some good riding habits and they would stick with me when I later regained my nerve.

  Borrowing other people's horses now and then was not giving me enough riding opportunities. I needed hours in the saddle. Needed lazy Saturday afternoons, Tuesdays after work...needed to ride to my own schedule if I were to ever break the fear-grip and begin pleasure-riding again.

  As incredible as it appeared to family and friends who knew my riding level (not to mention Valerie, my riding instructor), it seemed pretty clear to me that a horse of my own as the answer.

  Chapter Eight

  How To Find A good Riding Horse For Under $1,000

  There are some horse people who will tell you that you cannot find a good riding horse for under $1,000. It's true you probably cannot find a brilliant dressage horse, hunter-jumper or race horse for under $1,000. But you can find a nice pleasure horse to carry you over hill and dale, fence and coop, one who'll nuzzle your shoulder after a long trail ride and generally be a sturdy, pleasant riding companion.

  There are, of course, the famous stories: Pharr Lap was found in a remote part of Australia and picked up for a handful of feed (practically speaking). He went on to win every horse race in the South Pacific and was in the process of conquering American's race tracks when he was reputedly killed by unscrupulous owners of rival horses.

  Cononero II was a horse that won the 1971 Kentucky Derby after being bought for not much more than a thousand dollars--and was sold at stud for over a million.

  Angel, a milkman's cart horse at the turn of the century, (and an abused one, at that) was discovered and bought for a pittance and went on to win every top jumping show in the United States.

  There are hundreds of wonderful stories about horses bound for the dog food factory that are rescued at the last moment so as to go on to glory and estimated values in the millions. It must be said, however, that, for the most part, the good ones are generally recognized early on and priced accordingly. Which is not to say that you can't get a truly beautiful animal, even a thoroughbred, for under a thousand. You can. Well under. Free sometimes. But a thoroughbred, high-strung and bred to run, will often prove to be an unsuitable choice for anything else but the track or breeding farm. And if he's available for less than $1,000, you can rule him out. As a pleasure horse, a thoroughbred's nerves will do him in every time.

  A horse who is bred to bolt and run as fast as is in him to run, at the flick of an eyelash, will probably have some trouble staying calm around farm tractors, barking dogs, rustling leaves, footsteps in the sand, and the wind sighing against a bird's wing. Little eruptions, like a cow sneeze, can have you clinging to your beauty's neck with legs and stirrups flapping behind you while he does the ring at a comfortable 65 miles an hour.

  Very old horses can usually be had pretty cheaply too. Which is not to say you shouldn't consider them. But it might be wise to see how much the knackers will charge you to have the carcass removed if your new purchase looks like he might keel over any time soon.

  On the other hand, many horses are as spirited and active in their late teens as they were as young horses. And for this reason, if the price is right--and age is the only thing wrong with them--they might well be a good investment. (Which isn't to say that you'll get any financial return on your investment, of course.)

  Once you've decided you want a horse, can afford one, will spend the time with it and are at a riding level that will allow you to ride unsupervised, then you simply need to decide the kind of horse you want.

  A pony? A jumper? A very quiet one? One with some spirit to him? How about a sense of humor? One that rides Western? English? How about the sex of the horse? There are some riders (and I am one) who swear that mares, for example, are flighty, bitchy, much more unpredictable than normal and relatively worthless as mounts. Many horse people keep mares strictly for breeding purposes. They can be a bit, shall we say, moody. (Well, the horse person too, I suppose, but I'm referring to the mare.) Then again, you'll meet people who swear by mares (not at them). But if you're a beginner, it's probably best to rule her out as a riding companion.

  Once you know the ideal horse for you, you're ready to go out and try to find something that might be remotely like him.

  First, the want ads. Check your city paper, check your local Farmer's Market Newspaper. Check any of the local horse and tack shop papers (available at the tack and feed shops.)

  When reading a horse want ad, you should be aware of the language often used.

  "...16hd Arab mare with lively eye and striking coloration..." usually means "hard-to-handle with ugly coat." If you see the word "spirited", just substitute the phrase "wild-eyed-with smoking-nostrils".

  "Needs experienced rider" means "bronco-busters only". And never, but never, test-ride a horse named "Flesh" or "Certain Death." They didn't get those names because they were cuddly as foals.

  When you call a want ad, after having deciphered it, it's smart to have a written check-list on hand of all the questions you need answered before you make arrangements to drive out and actually see the animal. (Unless you live in the middle of horse country, chances are, each horse prospect will not be located as conveniently as your local McDonald's.)

  The up front expense of buying a horse is, of course, just the beginning. You will also need to decide whether your new horse can afford to be a stall horse or a pasture horse. A pasture horse lives and sleeps out in a field and is brought in when he is to be ridden, groomed, fed, or whatever else one cares to do with one's horse. Sometimes, when the weather gets very cold, the horse might be brought in and tucked into a warm stall for the night. Sometimes, he's bundled up in a New Zealand rug (the very warmest, most durable horse blanket in the world) and kept out in the weather. Sometimes, depending on what the year-round climate is, the horse is just out there, growing woolly coats and making the best of it.

  There are lots of reasons to keep you horse in the pasture. Money ranks right up there as the number one reason. It's cheaper to keep your horse in the pasture. If he doesn't lose weight as a result, or get thrashed by the other pasture horses, or do regular head-butts with the barbwire fences, it's likely a fine place for him to be. A pasture horse gets to run and kick up his heels on lovely days, snooze in the woods to stay cool on hot days, doze toe-to-tail with his buddies, amicably flicking flies off each other, eat endless grass and generally enjoy himself.

  A stall horse, on the other hand, has a somewhat different life. A horse who resides in a stall rather than a pasture, is typically fed in the morning, turned out (usually mid-morning) to a paddock where he can romp with his friends, brought in around mid-afternoon and fed again. Depending on his schedule, he can easily be fed three or four times a day, not counting the flakes of hay tossed his way throughout the day, or the grass he enjoys in the paddock.

  A stall horse has a nice, lean, warm, light and airy stall (hopefully) to call home...and that doesn't come cheaply. Somebody has to muck out that soon-to-be-nasty stall constantly. And then put new bedding down. Somebody has to maneuver him into the paddock, lead him back into his stall, mix his feed, serve his feed, re-serve his feed a few hours later and generally keep an eye on him.

  T
here is a feeling that the people who own stall horses tend to think that owners of pasture horses aren't quite equestrians or true horse people. A definite snob-factor exists with many people who stable their horses. Their feeling is that only people who don't hunt, or who aren't training for something terribly equestrian (and therefore terribly important) or who ride "pleasure horses" would do such a sorry thing. Or maybe the owners of plow horses.

  In any event, you need to examine your wallet and make your decision. To stall or not to stall? Then, choose your horse accordingly.

  Below is an example of such a check-list. Some of these points may not be as important to you as others. You may have special considerations you'll want to add. The idea is to find out as much as possible about the animal before you waste your time and gasoline to find out he is not acceptable.

  HORSE-HUNTING CHECK LIST

  1. Is the horse safe? Safe enough for a child?

  2. How old?

  3. How big?

  4. Any vices?

  5. Rides English or Western?

  6. Does he shy much?

  7. Is he pasture or stall boarded?

  8. Is he easy to catch?

  9. Does he stand quietly when he's tied?

  10. What sort of bit do you use on him?

  11. Does he jump? How high?

  12. Has he ever been shown?

  13. Who is your farrier?

  14. Who is your vet?

  15. Does he trailer well?

  16. How long have you had him?

  17. Why are you selling him?

  18. Appearance?

  19. Directions to stable where he's kept:

  It's usually important to ask why the person is selling the horse. Although very few will come right out with: "He bites like a pit bull and has a trot that'll rotate your dentures," you might get some clue if there's a hidden problem.

  For the under-$1,000 horse, the most common reason for being sold seems to be that a teenager has outgrown him. Usually, it's a young girl going off to college or getting married with no longer enough time to take care of the animal. Sometimes, the rider wants to move up to a better, faster, higher-jumping horse and can't until she sells the first model.

  Or, you could simply be the beneficiary of someone else's bad luck. Once, a friend of a friend of mine broke her arm on her well-mannered bay when a dog startled him at a canter. Unnerved and unsure of whether she wanted to continue riding, she decided to sell the horse and work it all out later. Since she couldn't ride with her arm (and her confidence) in a sling, the horse's stall board seemed a bigger drain financially than it had seemed before. She sold her quite wonderful horse for a fraction of his worth--and of what she'd paid for him. So be sure and ask the question and then listen carefully for the answer.

  In two separate cases, a rider came upon a reason to suddenly quit riding: in one instance it was the case of the intolerant (jealous?) new boyfriend with the horse losing out and in another it was simply impatience with a new horse that wasn't quite what he'd seemed prior to the purchase. In both cases, the women--uninterested in waiting out the long period it often takes to sell a horse: advertising, schlepping out to the barn to meet prospective buyers, paying upkeep on the horse in the meantime--both donated their horses to a nearby university riding school. Perfectly good horses. Animals that each woman had paid well over $1,500 for. Given away for whatever tax deduction such a gesture usually allows.

  Then, of course, strange as it may seem, sometimes a rider will simply, inexplicably, grow tired of riding as a hobby and want to be shed of it.

  In any case, once you're satisfied that the horse sounds like what you might be looking for, make arrangements to ride him. Mention to the person you're dealing with that you will want to see the horse ridden before you actually get on his back. This further helps to save time, because if the person who's selling the horse isn't the actual rider of the horse, they'll need to make sure that someone is on hand who is able to tack up the horse and ride him out before you get on his back.

  You do not want to climb onto the back of any strange horse who you haven't seen ridden by someone else first. If the horse has been biding his time unmolested in a pasture for the last year, you don't want to be the person to reintroduce him to the joys of carrying a rider.

  Along the way to finding your dream-mount, you'll no doubt find yourself astride a fair number of horses. I test-drove over two dozen: stocky bays, muddy duns, green horses, racking horses, abused horses, plow horses, pet horses. It's a great way to learn what you really want in a horse, what you can live with, what you absolutely can't.

  There was "Denim", a beautiful red roan who reacted flawlessly to voice commands and needed no lunge line, but was only four years old and had been ridden just a little.

  "Jo Jo", who rode like Pegasus but had to be bridled at gunpoint.

  "Banner", the namesake of the stallion who sired "Flicka", (as in "My Friend",) with his pretty Palomino looks and nefarious stall habits.

  "BabyDoll", who was so gentle his owner rode her with spurs and a crop, but who hadn't been ridden at all in over a year.

  Another way of finding the elusive good-horse-for-under-a-grand is to write your own ad, specifying exactly what you want and what you're willing to pay for it. (Considering my particular situation-- needing something incredibly gentle to help me overcome my fears--I wrote a want ad describing a mount that was a cross between a large Shetland pony and something dead.)

  Bulletin boards in tack shops are another good place to find ads for horses. So are riding academies. A lot of times they have horses to sell on consignment. Sometimes they have wonderful horses with back board due and owners willing to sell cheaply to get out from under it.

  Auctions, on the other hand, are not a good place to buy a horse. Not for a beginner. Dealers are a breed in themselves. Many will take a souped-up demon of a horse and run him into the ground just before the sale so that he seems passive and quiet.

  Some will drug a horse with stimulants, Butazolidin (a great cover-up for feet problems) or tranquilizers. One broker I talked with urged me to call a dealer she knew saying: "If you tell him I referred you, he won't cheat you." Dealers won't cheat you either, if you steer wide of them.

  One of the keys to finding a good horse cheap is patience. If you're willing to wait, the bargains will shake loose. Once they do, it's time to call the vet for a pre-purchase overhaul. You pay for this and it usually runs about fifty dollars. If the vet gives the animal a clean bill of health, you can feel pretty comfortable about taking him home. If not, you can walk away, merely out $50, or you can offer less than the asking price. (Assuming, of course, you decide you can live with the problem.)

  Recently, I bought a marvelous quarter-horse that I simply had to own. I allowed the seller's vet to check out "Becket" before I took possession and he was (perhaps not surprisingly) given a clean bill of health. Later, my own farrier (blacksmith) needed to sit down and fan himself back into a semblance of composure after taking one thorough look at the beast's feet. His hoof wall was practically non-existent. As a result, I would spend hours packing goo into the hollow of his feet, then binding and wrapping his hooves. Even so, he just wouldn't stay sound when kept out in the pasture. For eight atrociously expensive months, I had a wonderful riding beast with his own stall. It was not an appropriate mount for my budget and I soon, regretfully, unloaded him.

  Moral: use your own vet. Or better yet, bring along your farrier for a second look-see after your vet.

  But at the time I was looking for a simple, gentle beast who could withstand storms and snow and sun in a pasture. The horse, "Traveler", shook loose.

  Neglected and lame, Traveler had even foundered the winter before. He had an old abscess on his right hoof (no extra charge for that) and his still-wintry coat hadn't been brushed in a month. But he was gentle, with no vices, and as I'd ridden him on and off for the last year, he was also less likely to surprise me.

  I had him vetted and he
failed it miserably, limping pathetically around the paddock when the vet flexed his right front leg. X-rays confirmed that Traveler had arthritis, not the dreaded navicular1 that seller and prospective buyer feared.

  For light pleasure riding and with daily doses of butte (Butazolidin is a painkilling drug commonly used to ease or cover up feet problems), the vet conceded that this could be a serviceable horse for me, especially at my current riding level. After long thought and consideration, I made an offer and bought him for $700.

  Chapter Nine

  A Pony For Velvet

  Traveler was a 14 year old Arab Quarter horse mix. A chestnut gelding, he was about 15 hands, with a white blaze that jerked out over his right eye to form an upside down "L". He had large eyes, a huge butt and four dirty-white stockings. He was quite beautiful.

  Owning your own horse is a wonderful feeling. But owning your first horse is a magnificent feeling.

  Everything has to be new and the best. Even if he's a broken down draught horse, if he's your first, you'll want shiny new brushes with no hairs but his clinging to them, new, colorful buckets with his name marked on them, straight-from-the-mail-order blankets that fit him and only him (no hand-me-downs for the first horse), expensive vitamins, fancy hoof picks, curry and mane combs, ungummed and ungooped-up medicines, lineaments and salves, stiff new halters with his name magic-markered up the front cheek strap, and oh, the tack. New and shiny and slaved-over to be made into supple, soft strips of leather against your new horse's tender skin.

  If he's worth buying, he's worth all the rest of it too. And if he's your first horse, you'll happily spend more for this comfort, tack, and paraphernalia than you did for him. Love is spelled out in rather expensive ways when objet desiré is a horse.