MetaGame

by Sam Landstrom

  D_Light smiled. “Yes, we men are all angles and boxiness with little to interest the eye.” He gestured over the length of his body as though to say, “Have a good look.”

  The girl nodded and puckered her lips with mock admiration. “Aesthetics aside, might I ask what you are doing out here? I saw you leaning against that tree and it inspired me. I thought, why not just stand here and take in the new sun?”

  “Oh, I’m just waiting for some friends,” he replied.

  “I’m here as much for the sounds as the view,” the girl said, looking into the horizon. “There was a storm a few mornings back. There’s nothing like the wind in your face and the rush of the leaves and the branches and the grass.” The poplar tree leaves rustled with a hiss as though in agreement.

  Damn, D_Light thought. K_Slice was right. She’s gotta be a hippie sideliner.

  Although not happy with the prospect of giving K_Slice the pot, it thrilled him to think that he was speaking to a sideliner. He had only met a few in his life.

  “Yes, it’s nice-for a ghetto,” returned D_Light. Oh Soul, I’m being stupid again. She might live here, D_Light thought at the very moment the words left his mouth.

  The girl seemed oblivious to his faux pas. “The flowers are especially appealing,” she said. “I hate it when those clods go off the paths, stomping about without a thought in their heads, crushing them underfoot like they’re nothing.”

  D_Light nodded with feigned sympathy. “ Those clods, huh? So I take it you don’t play spank games?” D_Light grinned at her. He decided it was time to start fishing for clues regarding this girl’s identity. There was a game on, and he needed to keep up the players’ interest.

  She shook her head.

  “Um, you do know when those clods are jacked in they can’t actually see the flowers, right?”

  She nodded, but D_Light detected a note of surprise crossing her face. “These guys can’t see you, me, or anything the way it actually is,” D_Light said offhandedly so as not to sound like a know-it-all.

  The woman seemed to hesitate as she toed the dirt. “No, I don’t…um, I don’t do them. What are they like?”

  Although muted, D_Light could see in the periphery a text from K_Slice. It read, She doesn’t “do” them? Is that some kind of throwback hipster-speak?

  D_Light cleared his throat. “Well, a spank game works basically like any SkinWare app works. The game software keeps track of what is in the game and how everything behaves and, just as importantly, where everything is. So, like if I was jacked in, that tree would look different. Maybe it’d be a pillar from an ancient ruin or, I don’t know, a big ol’ lamppost. The tree’s still there, it’d just have a different skin.”

  “And the flowers?” she asked. “What do they see those as?”

  Since D_Light had been playing in NeverWorld among these very mounds for the last eight hours, he actually knew the answer. “Oh, they don’t see the flowers at all. The game is only obligated to show you stuff that can hurt you if you run into it.”

  “So the flowers don’t make the cut,” she remarked with disappointment. “They don’t make the cut, so they don’t even exist.”

  “You have the idea, yeah,” replied D_Light with a tone of encouragement. “Spankers can feel them a little bit, maybe even be tripped up when they’re running hard, but in general, they don’t pay them any mind. Spankers really are oblivious to this world.”

  Enough lecturing the nOOb. When you gonna ask her how much? TermaMix texted.

  The girl crossed her arms, drawing her cloak around her. She adopted a pensive look, as though seeing spankers with a whole new level of understanding.

  “Allow me to demonstrate,” D_Light said. He enthusiastically started down the mound while waving for her to follow. She crinkled her brow suspiciously, but smiled faintly as she tentatively trailed behind.

  D_Light got on his haunches not two feet from the crouching spanker he had pointed out earlier. He then spoke loudly at the crouching man, using a strange, unidentifiable accent. “I say, dear sir, do you have a fresh bowl of porridge?” The spanker did not move, but continued staring straight ahead. His body, however, tensed up.

  D_Light stood up. “You see? They can barely hear you. That probably sounded to him like a faint echo.”

  The girl chuckled softly. “Interesting,” she said quietly. She then walked over to D_Light and the crouching man, somewhat hesitantly as though approaching a beast caught in a trap. She waved her hands in front of his face. The man followed the movement and scowled, but he did not get out of his crouching position. Her eyes widened with surprise. “I thought they were blind to the outside world.”

  “Not exactly blind,” D_Light whispered. “They see you as something, probably a ghost, um, but not a nasty or dangerous sort of ghost. If the game could cut you out completely it would, but-” D_Light interrupted himself with a chuckle. “I mean, just because you and he are in different audio and visual worlds does not change the hard fact that you share the same physical world. The game has to take that into account.”

  The girl seemed intrigued, having the curiosity of a young child. “What about touch?” she asked.

  “Oh, certainly. I don’t recommend-” D_Light was going to discourage any physical contact, but it was too late. The woman stuck her index finger into the ribs of the spanker. The man let out a grunt, and then his lips curled into a snarl as he swung his arm around hard. The young woman leaned back just outside of his swing. Nice reflexes, D_Light thought.

  The man boomed, “Don’t make me come out there and beat you senseless, you bloody clod!” His eyes were fixed on the woman, and he crouched low, as though to pounce. The girl had already assumed a position, D_Light supposed a defensive one. Her knees were bent slightly, and her body was turned askew so that she did not face him head-on. Instead, her left flank was turned half toward him while her left arm bent up like a shield. He stepped forward and threw a punch hard and straight. She moved swiftly to one side while her left arm swept away his blow. He hit nothing. Although his punch left him wide open, she did not counterstrike; rather, she stepped back a pace and resumed her defensive position. She did not appear afraid or angry, merely curious.

  The spanker looked like he was about to yell at her again when he stopped cold. He looked over his shoulder for an instant and then ran off-sprinted, as though the devil himself was chasing him.

  D_Light’s eyes met those of the confused girl, and he grinned while biting his lip. “As I was trying to tell you, yes, they can feel just the same when in the spanker game as when outside of it. Oh, and as I imagine you now know, they don’t much like being messed with. It’s considered very impolite.”

  The woman relaxed her posture as she watched the spanker go. “Crazy, all this!” She let out a short, nervous laugh. She paused, her bottom lip transforming into a pout. “I feel bad for him. I am sorry I bothered him. Still, how interesting, how sad.”

  “Sad? How do you mean?” D_Light inquired.

  “I mean, why would someone choose to blind himself to this world? To move around like someone-I don’t know, like someone who is…”

  “Perfectly insane?” D_Light interrupted with a laugh.

  “Don’t pity them. Spanker games are designed to be fantastic! I play them myself. However, unlike the plebs who haunt this place, I try to control my appetite.”

  She looked over at him. D_Light hoped that it would be a look of affection, trust, warmth, or some other positive sentiment, but her expression did not contain any of those things. Rather, she appeared as she had while observing the spanker. She looked like an adult who was discovering something with new, childlike eyes, or perhaps like a young scientist who was hot on the trail of a new and exciting discovery.

  D_Light lowered his gaze and kicked at a rock near his shoe. “Well,” he muttered self-consciously, “if you’re going to hang out among spankers, you might consider trying one anyway.”

  “Hmm, yes, I expect the experience w
ould be worthwhile, but I don’t know…Going around trusting this, this software? I wouldn’t want anyone messing with me.” She giggled uncomfortably.

  “Yeah, unfortunately, spanklets-er, spanklets being the name for girls, I mean women-they get groped all the time. The guys usually get away with it ’cause the spanklets can’t ID the guy unless they jack out of the game, and by then the guy is gone.”

  “Groped?” The woman looked at him with an amused smile.

  “Forget it,” replied D_Light. “Okay then, so you’re obviously not a spanker. So how does a lovely creature like you spend your time?”

  A text from player Blitz came into D_Light’s periphery. ’ Bout time. Need more info on this girl to get a lock. This was followed by a text from K_Slice that read, Yeah, Dee, you’re bleeding this out. Wrap it up, nOOb!

  The girl adopted a soft, warm smile and answered, “Most nights I work at the university, but not tonight. I’m just taking a walk.”

  D_Light was about to ask what “taking a walk” was when a priority-one blink from Mother Lyra barged into his mind. We have confirmation on his apartment!

  Djoser chimed in. Got it. That’s it then. I’ll call it in!

  No need, I called it in a few minutes back, Lyra replied.

  A little late saying so, don’t you think? Djoser inquired. Holding out on us?

  Thought it prudent, Lyra returned. I didn’t want you all jumping up and down for joy, tipping off our friend. As they say, it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

  As the two nobles volleyed back and forth, D_Light thought, The demon located? Nailed the first quest!

  Lyra had sent the coordinates of the demon’s apartment, which indicated that it was located in the mound directly across from D_Light, less than one hundred meters away. It would not be long now. An angel would have been dispatched quickly. He had never seen an angel in action. Of course, he would want to keep his distance nonetheless.

  Due to all the blinks going off in his head, D_Light had been quiet for a while and had momentarily forgotten about the girl, who appeared to take the silence as a hint. She sighed. “Well, it’s late. I think I ought to get going.”

  Presently, D_Light returned his attention back to the girl and said, “Oh, you’re going to want to stick around. You’re about to see something you don’t see every day.”

  She looked at him quizzically.

  “Ever seen an angel?” he asked.

  “Uh, no. I…I don’t understand what you mean. Is this about the game thing? I don’t believe-”

  D_Light interrupted. “No, not a game. Angels are the highest agents of the Divine Authority.”

  The woman smiled and nodded and took a few shuffling steps backward. She appeared slightly uneasy. “That sounds interesting, but I’m, well, I’m late.”

  D_Light persisted. “You know, the Divine Authority, the OverSoul?” Where did this woman come from? D_Light wondered. Having to explain spanker games was odd enough, but the OverSoul? It was like being ignorant of gravity.

  Indeed, the girl did not explicitly say that she didn’t understand what he was talking about, but D_Light could tell when someone was trying to fake it-someone trying to pass as knowledgeable, but not having a clue. A faker always had a dismissive look mixed with a little fear that screamed out, “Sure, sure, let’s just move on to another subject.” He saw that look a lot in his profession (who didn’t?)-people trying to wing it. Doesn’t know the OverSoul? Was she from one of the outer colonies?

  “Look, there is a demon in that building there,” D_Light announced bluntly, pointing down at the mound below.

  The girl’s eyes widened and the color in her face drained instantly. Judging by her reaction, D_Light surmised that she did know the definition of a demon.

  D_Light quickly added, “Don’t worry. The angels are on their way. They will take care of him.”

  The girl looked away from D_Light, her body tense. “Todget! Todget! Run!” she screamed.

  CHAPTER 11

  “Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and is then heard no more: It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

  So wrote Shakespeare on the subject of the human condition. Depressing, eh? Countless past generations of people all over the earth armed themselves against such unthinkable sentiment with faith-faith that life actually did have a purpose. But faith-the act of lying to oneself because it is convenient-the foundation of past religions, is no more than a historical footnote today.

  We no longer need to ritualistically console each other in temples or churches chock-full of symbols and idols. God is no longer a ghost. God is no longer reduced to an imaginary guide through the inscrutable and indifferent jungle of our lives. Who can question the divinity of the OverSoul in a world where no one is hungry? In a world where sickness is a choice rather than a hand dealt by fate? In a world where immortals walk among us?

  — Minister A_Dude, archives, “From the Pulpit”

  The angel approached slowly and quietly. There was at least a 94 % chance the demon was in its residence, so there was no need to hurry. For the current mission the angel was a “he,” and if it ever came up, he had chosen to give himself the name “Jacob.” Of course, human labels like “gender” did not apply to an entity like Jacob. His name and gender were more a reflection of how he chose to appear to others at the present time rather than based on any physiological or psychological characteristics.

  Having landed near his target, Jacob proceeded at a brisk walk toward the apartment mound. He had a disheveled mat of black hair and serious eyebrows. His large brown eyes scanned about casually, taking in the world around him. But Jacob did not use those eyes, as they were only for show. Jacob’s true eyes could see so much more, and not just in front of him, but also all around. Jacob’s senses radiated out like a great bulb of light, illuminating even the darkest of shadows.

  The angel passively scanned everything, alive or not, that came within the reach of his scanners. Humans, products, vegetation, inanimate matter-all were inspected and categorized. Most of this data was filed away and not processed further. It was not important, at least not at present.

  Jacob walked up the flight of steps that cut up into the bowels of the building. He had to decide whether to fly up the stairs or climb them manually. Low-speed flying was 434 % faster than manually climbing and cost only 115.45 % more energy; however, his “stealth protocol” did not call for flight, so he decided to climb the stairs manually.

  “Todget! Todget! Run!” a voice called from a distance. Based on the wave pattern of the voice, it was 93.6 % likely to belong to a female human or human-based product. In addition, the pattern suggested (86.45 %) that the caller was emotionally distressed. Jacob instantly deduced that this was a warning to his target, given that “Todget” was the social name of the target.

  It was now highly likely (approximately 78 %) that the target had just been warned of impending danger. The protocol Jacob had been using up to this point was based on the assumption that the target would be caught by surprise. The scenario had changed, justifying a change in protocol. In other words, more extreme measures were now worth examining.

  The first protocol he considered was to use the direct approach. As Jacob knew from his constant scanning, the walls of the mound in which his target resided were a common dro-vine derivative, and so he knew its tensile strength. He could rip through such walls like paper, but this was not optimal. Although the walls would grow back, it was unnecessary to damage them. It was wasteful under the current circumstances, and openly using his powers around unsuspecting humans was suboptimal to their productivity, and could even cause (although rarely) long-term emotional disruption.

  Not that Jacob was capable of empathizing directly with any of the various agents around him. He simply acted in accordance with the math. That is to say, he used the most logical protocol available based on risk/reward analy
sis. For example, the risk of “emotional disruption” had an estimated negative score. The added advantage for apprehending the target using “disruptive measures,” such as smashing through walls, had an estimated positive score. These scores and many others were factored in with the relative value of apprehending the target. For instance, was the target likely to be dangerous to other people, products, or property? If the target somehow avoided capture on this occasion, what was the likelihood of apprehending him later? For a being like Jacob, any decision could be boiled down to the return value of a mathematical formula.

  Given the data available, the “direct approach” protocol was given a value of “false.” He went through a series of other protocols, and within a billionth of a second he settled on simply flying to the target’s apartment, but taking the time to use the existing hallways to get there.

  Before proceeding to the target’s apartment, Jacob briefly considered apprehending the woman who was warning the target. It was a sin to knowingly aid a demon, giving Jacob the authority to arrest her. She was not far away. Judging by the direction and intensity of her call, coupled with the obstacle layout of the area, Jacob estimated her position at around one hundred meters. However, subduing the subject would take some time, and now that the alarm had been sounded, time was of greater importance. Furthermore, she was not his target. Worse yet, she could just be a distraction. Perhaps the warning did not emanate from a human at all, just a voice simulation. This had been used on Jacob before, and he was not about to make the same mistake twice. No, Jacob would continue on to the primary target and deal with her afterward.

  Jacob took flight with a thunderous boom as he broke the sound barrier. His flight applied pressure to the surrounding walls, but they did not tear. Almost instantly, his sensors detected a humanoid around the corner ahead, right in his path. This forced the angel to land before the corner and run. Jacob was heavy, and the impact points of his feet were relatively small, which increased the risk of generating great amounts of noise and damaging the floor. This was not optimal. However, Jacob could not fly past the citizen. The pressure emanating from an angel passing a human in these tight quarters would likely cause injury.