MetaGame

by Sam Landstrom

  Love_Monkey opened a blink to her eleven cloned sisters. OMG, you will never guess who just walked through the big doors. Love_Monkey did not wait for them to guess. A camper!

  There was a general chorus of chatter back and forth between the sisters, who, although engrossed by their various assignments, were very interested in the news.

  Love_Monkey deduced that the camper was disguised because her appearance did not match her expected genotype of blond, blue-eyed bombshell. The rest of her party was disguised too, but such optical veils were of no use to anyone entering House Monsa. Unlike most houses that at most used DNA sniffers to sift through visitors, House Monsa required blood, a miniscule amount collected painlessly as patrons passed their hands over the detector.

  What would a camper be doing here? the hostess wondered. She shivered with excitement, looking forward to finding out.

  Shortly after the appearance of the camper, another interesting specimen stalked through the door. A seeker, the hostess thought. She frowned. Seekers were rare, but wherever they went, trouble soon followed.

  Led by Sweet_Ting, the party ascended a stairway up to a private pillbox that was anchored on the side of the crystalline dro-vine wall. Bright green vines intertwined the pillbox banister, making it look like an elegant tree house. A table resembling black obsidian sat in the middle with several CumfiMoss™ chairs surrounding it.

  One of the seats was occupied by a smooth-skinned man with a face that reminded D_Light of a hawk. This bird of prey eyed the party intently, as though appraising how good they might taste. A limestone-faced man in a dark suit and crimson red tie stood at attention and, as the party approached, scooted seats out for Sweet_Ting, Lyra, and Djoser. The nobles took their seats gracefully, their respective bodyguards standing attentively behind their charges. The marbled servant made no motion to seat D_Light or Lily. Sweet_Ting glanced up at them, frowned, and shook her head dismissively.

  Lyra smiled apologetically to D_Light and Lily. “I believe the remaining seats are taken,” she said. Her voice was less apologetic than her smile and far more formal than it had sounded during their adventure up to this point. She then added, “Maybe the two of you could find a seat down on the floor or at the bar.”

  D_Light turned away and looked down over the expansive floor below. He would have descended the stairs, but the way was blocked by an ascending crowd, so instead he stood at the side of the stairs and waited for his turn. He noticed there was a throng of people on the floor below who appeared to be gawking at him. One of the throng was pointing. He didn’t like that. Perhaps we should go up the stairs instead, he thought.

  As she waited for D_Light to move, Lily faced away from him and the stairs and looked toward the table. Lily did not gawk at anyone in particular. She was familiar enough with human culture to know that staring was generally considered rude. Instead, she merely scanned over the guests sitting at the table, taking note of their posture, how they held their drinks, how they held their utensils as they daintily stabbed at colorful morsels of food that she could not identify. She had never been in a groksta before, and there was much to see, so much to learn. As her former employer, Professor SlippE, would say, “Watch and learn, for the most expedient way to anonymity is through imitation.”

  Sweet_Ting, however, did not appreciate seeing Lily’s veiled brown eyes sweeping over her party as though she had a right to do such a thing. “Pleb, I asked you to leave,” she snarled. “If you think there is a place for you at this table, then you truly must be a nOOb,” she added with a pretentious chuckle. She then gave a curt nod to her servant, who, without changing his stone expression, set his dark eyes on Lily and withdrew a short-barreled pistol-and then he promptly shot her.

  The impact gave Lily a jolt, and she fell back a step. Her illusionary dress and headscarf sputtered and then blanked out, leaving her shimmering skinsuit exposed. A fluorescent pink spatter marked where she had been hit. Lily might have retaliated against her attacker-Todget had taught her several effective defensive moves-but by the time she recovered from the surprise of the assault, the servant had tucked the pistol back into the fold of his suit and had stepped back to his post, arms folded, presumably no longer a threat.

  Sweet_Ting turned to Lyra and Djoser and demanded, “My Soul, where did you get that one?” She then looked back at Lily, who was still mulling over what had happened. “Yeah, dimmy, you’re a nOOb and now everyone knows it! You should learn to be where you’re not wanted.” She then let out an exasperated sigh and added, “I mean not to be where you’re not wanted. Like not wanted here in my house.”

  D_Light, startled to discover how quickly things had gone downhill while he was not paying attention, put a hand on Lily’s shoulder and whispered near her ear, “You’re fine, you’re not hurt. Just follow me.” He motioned for her to go down the stairs. D_Light then bowed deeply to the annoyed noblewoman and announced, “My lady, my apologies. The pleb does not find herself in civilized society often and-” D_Light’s sentence was cut off abruptly as Lily, her eyes narrowed and her face flushed with rage, grabbed an unattended glass on the table near her and flung the contents onto Sweet_Ting. The noblewoman let out a ragged gasp, her bulging eyes swiveled, and her jaw dropped as though she was witnessing the end of the world. Her hands were rigid and splayed out in front of her.

  D_Light stood in shock. “Oh Soul! Lily, what have you done?” Lily did not have time to answer, as she and D_Light suddenly found themselves surrounded by two men and two women with a variety of hipster hairstyles, all wearing identical tight-fitting yellow organic body suits. D_Light reflexively grasped the hilt of his dagger. He would have preferred his throwing discs, but these goons were too close. Somewhat disconcertingly, the new arrivals did not have goon expressions on their faces. Rather, they were smiling-not the kind of smile that said, “We’re going to enjoy beating the living devil out of you,” but regular smiles, the kind friends give each other. D_Light didn’t know what to make of it.

  One of the men, an unusually tall and gaunt specimen, beamed at D_Light and Lily and then bowed low. Presently, he spoke. “Begging your pardon, but do I have the honor of addressing Ascara of Hexos and Boobooma of Sanadas?”

  Over the prostrating man’s head, D_Light could see that Sweet_Ting had stood up with what force her frail body could muster, nearly knocking over her chair. She pointed at them while speaking, but D_Light could not make out her rage-garbled words. Her servant stood at her side, and his eyes roved over D_Light, Lily, and the four strangers. He seemed uncertain about what to do.

  Of course, D_Light instantly recognized the names Ascara and Boobooma. After all, they were the names of the NeverWorld characters he and Lily had used that very morning. Yesterday morning, Smorgeous corrected as the familiar flashed the time of one seventeen in the morning.

  “Ah yes, that is us,” D_Light responded to the gracious stranger. “You know of our work?” D_Light could not help but grin as he said, “However, as I recall, those two fine heroes were vaporized by Pheobah the Dark Queen and her abomination of a son, Salem.”

  As the tall, smiling man returned to his upright position, D_Light could not see Sweet_Ting’s bodyguard (dubbed “Mr. Personality” by D_Light) or the rest of his party, but Smorgeous, who was near the ground and was able to peer between the legs of the throng, assured D_Light that while Sweet_Ting displayed distraught facial expressions and body language, neither she nor her muscle-bound servant were making any obvious hostile overtures. D_Light was tempted to pipe his familiar’s visual feed into his own, but he decided that he preferred being ignorant behind his screen of bodies. The scene couldn’t be pleasant.

  A splay of peacock feathers suddenly erupted from the smiling man’s head, a veil trick D_Light had seen before. It was a gesture that some people, usually of the more flamboyant variety, used to show respect to another. However, under these circumstances, D_Light was more startled than honored.

  “Heroes indeed!” The smiling man clearly
intended the words to erupt as a majestic boom, but instead they ended up escaping as a grating screech. “Verily, you were smitten by the wretched queen, but you were not lost! Do you not know?”

  The man looked at D_Light incredulously. D_Light ratcheted his full grin down to a half grin, raising his eyebrows expectantly. He could hear squeals of excitement from his other new “friends.” The smiling man blushed, managed the impossible feat of widening his smile even more, and then broke the news. “You are celebrities! Celebrities the world over! Everyone in NeverWorld has heard of your deeds!” He bowed again. “You honor this groksta by coming here.”

  Another yellow-jumpsuited man could contain himself no longer. “Please, please allow us to escort you to a VIP table,” he exclaimed while clapping his hands in rapid, dainty succession.

  Lily felt completely disoriented, and her face was flushed with blood. One moment she was being shot by order of an enraged noblewoman, and the next thing she knew she was being bowed to and informed of her celebrity status. D_Light looked over at her and could see her anxiety and feel her apprehension. D_Light couldn’t blame her for not trusting these strangers; however, he felt they were in no position to refuse. He wanted to get away from Sweet_Ting’s icy stare, and this seemed like a good exit.

  It was unlikely that this mother, as stupid as she was purported to be, would directly harm D_Light. After all, he was a human and even had life insurance. Injuring him-much less killing him-would come at a dear price. Even if Sweet_Ting were willing to pay the cost required to harm him, she would most likely be breaking divine law. D_Light’s complicity in insulting Sweet_Ting was circumstantial at best. Nevertheless, Mr. Personality was most certainly a combat-ready product, and if his mistress lost her cool, D_Light and Lily may find themselves getting hit with something far worse than a nOOb pellet.

  Having weighed all factors, D_Light now bowed to the stranger and replied, “We thank you and would be delighted to take you up on your offer.”

  D_Light grasped Lily’s hand firmly as the strangers led them up a few open flights of stairs. As they ascended, the smiling man’s entourage packed around them closely, particularly around Lily. D_Light was not sure if this was for their protection, to threaten them, or simply a poor understanding of personal space etiquette. There was nowhere to run to anyway. If this was a trap, they were as good as caught.

  CHAPTER 24

  Dr. Monsa: As you know, I never decree a house rule without explaining my reasoning. Rules with a poorly understood purpose breed contempt and are therefore destined to be broken. Rule number eight states, “All that enter the House of Monsa must submit a blood sample.” Why?

  Love_Monkey: The answer is obvious. A family has a right to know who enters their house.

  Dr. Monsa: That is one correct answer.

  Curious_Scourge: Father, a sniffer could positively identify entrants. Why do you require blood?

  Dr. Monsa: Sniffers can be deceived! But there is a more important reason. More than just DNA can be gleaned from blood. Indeed, even the power over life and death.

  Curious_Scourge: Spare us the melodrama, Father!

  Dr Monsa: Allow me to explain. Circulating in the blood of most citizens are deployment bots called D-bots.

  Curious_Scourge: D-bots?

  Dr Monsa: They are nanobots, a little larger than a red blood cell. They are merely boxes that contain useful chemis. When they are given the right signal, they empty their contents into your bloodstream. Most commonly, they contain pharmas. Say you want to relax. Send a signal to release some DownTime™ into your system. Instant relaxation without a pill, without an injection, merely a thought. The reason none of you have heard of D-bots is because none of my children have been inoculated with them…for reasons that I will explain.

  Love_Monkey: Okay, so you know what drugs the person prefers. So what? Power over life, you say?

  Dr. Monsa: I mentioned that the deployment bots require a signal to activate, right? Well, every strain of D-bots has a unique activation code or key, if you prefer. To activate the key, you must fire a sequence of radio waves using the correct frequency and timing.

  Love_Monkey: So when you get your booster, what? You’re given a key to unlock them?

  Dr. Monsa: Exactly. Your familiar is given the encryption key so that when you want the chemi deployed, the familiar can fire off the sequence and activate the bots.

  Curious_Scourge: So if you could hack the familiar, you could activate the key?

  Dr Monsa: That is an impractical strategy. As you know, familiars are designed with security as the top priority. Indeed, the bulk of their computing power is dedicated to being an effective firewall. They are not easily hacked.

  Love_Monkey: Aha! This goes back to the blood. You analyze the bots in the blood. You can unlock the sequence.

  Dr Monsa: Well done, yes. There are micropanels on the surface of the bots. It’s the precise orientation of these panels that specify the sequence. You see, as each electromagnetic pulse hits the bot, a different panel is unlocked, and once they are all unlocked, the bot deploys its contents. By analyzing the surface of the bot, we can deduce the sequence.

  Curious_Scourge: And using a radio emitter keyed into that sequence, one can exercise control over a subject’s biochemistry.

  Dr Monsa: Yes. So, you see? As so often happens, one man’s convenience is another man’s weapon.

  — Excerpt from private archive of Dr. Monsa’s “Dinner Discussions”

  Upon ascending several stories, D_Light and Lily were led into an opaque plexi-encased pillbox. As they entered, D_Light realized that the plexi was transparent from the inside, so they could see out but groksters outside could not see in.

  “Before showing you to your table, let us first attend to the lady.” The smiling man nodded at Lily. One of the entourage handed him a smooth silver wand. “This,” he said, “will deactivate the tagging dye you were shot with.” He passed it back and forth over Lily’s torso without touching her. “I deeply apologize for Sweet_Ting’s behavior,” he said in earnest. “She has a tendency to tag people without provocation.”

  D_Light now realized that the human wall their fans had formed around them on the way up the stairs was a way to shield Lily from onlookers. Tagging someone with a nOOb dye pellet was a common means of publicly humiliating a player. The tagging dye did this in several ways. First, it interfered with the signals used by one’s skinsuit so that he or she could not cover up the stain with illusion. The lenses in the suit simply did not work, leaving the victim with a bare suit marked with a large florescent stain on it. The stain made one’s “nOObness” apparent to anyone “realing,” anyone not jacked into a skin.

  This, however, was a subtle effect compared to what people who were jacked into the skin saw. In nearly all cases that D_Light had seen, the victim had large, three-dimensional text hovering over his or her head that said “nOOb.” In addition, the victim’s body was rendered in some humiliating way. For example, virtual excrement continuously falling out of their buttocks, clown clothing might appear, or they may find themselves nude with large tattoos like “Being a slut is divine” or “I dun’t understand smart stuff.” Sometimes these outfits would scroll from one to the next to keep it interesting. Of course, the face was never covered up. That would defeat the purpose; in fact, it was usually magnified like the gigantic head of an old-time cartoon character. D_Light had seen one nOOb cover his face with his hands and try to run, but since he could not see well he bumbled into groksters, which only led to more kicks and having food and drinks thrown at him. Finally, if these effects were not getting enough attention, a spotlight would appear and follow the nOOb around.

  Thankfully, Lily had been protected. No one could see her behind the bodies of their newly found entourage, and only the most determinedly sadistic jeerer would try to force their way through that phalanx.

  Having finished deactivating the dye on Lily, the smiling man asked if it would be all right if he and a few fr
iends joined them after the two had taken some time to relax. D_Light quickly consented. The smiling man’s smile consumed his whole face now, and he bowed several times on his way out the door of the VIP box, coined the “veepox.”

  Although not asked to do so, Smorgeous had grokked the entourage that had taken them up to the box. As expected, the smiling man, whose name was WholeLottaLuscious, or just plain “Will,” was a midlevel noble. He was 103 years old and in the fifty-fifty queue for salvation. Not a bad guy to impress, D_Light thought. The others were just regular players, but of pretty decent level, except for one who was a product. Judging by her product line and manufacturer, she was probably being used as a general assistant.

  Inside the veepox was a large crystal table, suffused from within by a soft blue glow. Several large, elevated chairs invited the guests to sit. Once perched upon their seats, D_Light and Lily commanded a perfect view of the fray several stories below. A handsome, muscular product immediately swept in to present them with drinks from a plexi platter. “Our house special, just to start. Please feel free to browse the menu.” He then bowed and made a swift but graceful exodus.

  Smorgeous notified D_Light that he had been given command of the veepox controls, which meant that D_Light could now control the temperature, lighting, sound filters, and various other properties of the chamber with no more than a thought to his familiar. I could definitely get used to this lifestyle, he thought. He took a deep, satisfying breath and slumped back in his chair, allowing his legs to fall gently apart. Yeah, this is the life. He took a sip of his complimentary beverage and enjoyed a moment of silence while the warmth of the potent libation worked its magic.

  Having appreciated his brief moment of relaxation, D_Light began to think about how they should be acting in this situation. He had spent plenty of time in grokstas before and knew that it was customary to lift the one-way opacity of the plexi windows once your party was seated so that others could see you, and so that is what he did, except for the plexi that covered the floor. He assumed Lily would not appreciate people looking up her virtual dress at her virtual lingerie or whatever her restored skinsuit styled under there.