Incarcerated: Letters From Inmate 92510

by Inger Iversen

  She took the folder and opened it; inside were her envelopes sent to Logan with the name Kristen on the front. Katie looked up at her father, and his eyes held what she had worked her whole life to never see. His disappointment burned deep, and she didn’t know what to do. She’d thought of a million things to say, she had her reasons lined up and ready to go, but as soon as her father looked at her as if he’d given up, something in Katie broke . . . and not in the way she thought it would.

  She placed the folder on the table. “You and Teal have spent too much time controlling and micromanaging my life.” Katie wondered if it was really their fault. After all, she’d allowed them to do it. She’d never stood up for herself, and the times she did, she acted as if her actions needed explaining when in reality they didn’t. She was an adult, and even when she made choices that others didn’t understand, she had wanted the support of her friends and family.

  Her dad ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with you. When your mother was alive, I never worried, but now?” He shook his head.

  She moved to him and took his hand in both of hers. “What is it that you are worried about?” she asked. There were many things she could guess at, but she wanted to address the more important things first.

  Her dad tugged her close. “First, the lies. Teal went to the hotel looking for you, but you weren’t checked in there,” he motioned to Logan, who was silently waiting to be introduced, “he was. That’s when she came to me.” Jan-Erik palmed Katie’s face. “I don’t like lies. I don’t like my daughter in a hotel with an ex-con, I don’t like the fact that you entered the IPPP without my permission, but what I don’t like the most is that you are an adult and my words don’t hold as much stock as they did when you were a little girl.”

  Katie’s eyes burned with tears and her chest ached. Her father’s words meant the world to her, and she hated that her lies made him feel as if she couldn’t be trusted, but the fear of letting him down was so great, she thought she’d buckle under the pressure.

  “They still do, but there will be times when I don’t agree and you’ll have to accept that.” And Katie meant it. She wanted to be in control of her life.

  Her dad looked back over to Logan who stood. “I don’t like this.”

  Katie didn’t think he would.

  “If I don’t support it, it’ll push you away, wont it?” her father asked in a resigned voice, but Katie was dazed. She thought he would take it much worse than what was happening.

  “Yes, I want you to give him a chance.” Katie moved away from her father and walked to Logan. “Dad, this is Logan Whyte.” Logan extended his hand, but Jan-Erik only nodded.

  Logan dropped his hand. “Sir.”

  He pointed to his daughter. “You know she’s black, right?”

  Mortified, Katie closed her eyes and fought the urge to curse.

  Logan rubbed her back. “Yes, I noticed, sir. I can only guess you know my past and there are things you heard that happened while I was in prison.” He looked down at Katie, and she offered him a sweet smile while taking Logan’s hand in hers. “I fucked up plenty of times in there.”

  Jan-Erik scoffed. “You placed my daughter’s life in danger by being affiliated with that hate group, and you place her in danger as long as you stay with her.”

  Katie and Logan both worried about that, but she couldn’t imagine letting him go out of the simple fear that some skinheads wouldn’t like it.

  “No, it’s not enough that I have to worry about my daughter with an ex-con, but now I have to worry that the color of her skin will get her hurt.”

  “I wouldn’t let—”

  Jan-Erik took what Katie felt was a menacing step forward. Her nerves were rattled as the situation gradually heated up. “It’s not like you have control over what those hate mongers do, Mr. Whyte,” he spat. “You couldn’t even keep them from kicking your own face in. How the hell are you planning on protecting her?”

  Logan tensed, and she knew her father was purposely rubbing salt in a still healing wound. Katie stepped forward and between the two men. She didn’t think the argument would come to blows, but she hoped if both men saw her it’d stop them from arguing further. Unfortunately, she wasn’t so lucky.

  Logan grunted. “Sir, I was jumped,” he stabbed a finger toward Jan-Erik, “in your prison. One you should have control over. I spent my whole time there doing whatever the hell I was supposed to do and I stayed out of trouble until that moment. I won’t have you throwing that shit in my face.”

  “This is getting out of hand.” Katie placed her palm on Logan’s chest; his face was red and anger radiated off him. She turned to her father. “We’ll handle this together, right?” She blinked rapidly, hoping to clear away the blur that was her tears. When her dad didn’t answer, Katie asked again, “Right?” She turned to Logan, hoping he’d jump on board. However, when he looked at her, she wasn’t so sure he cared to have her father on their side anymore.

  He rubbed his stubbled jaw and took a step back. “Right,” he muttered, but Katie was far from convinced.

  “Dad?” she pleaded.

  “What the hell kind of choices are you giving me, Katie?” her dad growled. “If I say no it’ll push you away, and if I say yes I’m helping place you in danger. What exactly is it that you are asking me to do?”

  Katie didn’t know what it was, other than a chance to be happy without losing either Logan or her dad. “I’m just asking for you to give him a chance.” When her father shook his head, she suddenly felt deflated and so damned tired.

  “Okay, so now what? You’ll never speak to me again?” Tears made their way down her cheeks. How the hell could he make her choose? “You’ll just walk out of my life? Is that the choice you are offering me?” Katie couldn’t hide the hurt in her voice. She never once believed her father would take it this far.

  He reached out and pulled her into an embrace. “No, Katie. I’d die first, but I can’t agree with you seeing him. I know you’ll continue to, but as a father, being so damned helpless to protect your kid is a horrible feeling. You aren’t the only one here who’s afraid of having to sacrifice a person you love.”

  Katie pulled away to look at her dad. “I won’t give either of you up. I can’t.” She placed her face in her dad’s chest. She wanted both of the men in her life, and she wasn’t willing to sacrifice either for the other. Katie understood her father’s fears better than he even knew. She was scared to death when she had thought Aaron had her photo and address, but that still didn’t squash the feelings she had for Logan, and she was sure nothing ever would.

  Logan opted to take a bus back to Kentucky to save money, and Katie let him know that it bothered her he wouldn’t let her buy him a plane ticket.

  “Why don’t you just let me buy you the freaking ticket? It’s not expensive, and you’ll get there faster.”

  Katie and Logan stood at the bus station. It was too late even if Logan changed his mind. He had his ticket in his hand, but more so he was sure that if he went back to Katie’s, he’d never be able to leave the state.

  Threading his hands through her hair, he tilted her head back. “No.” He placed a kiss on her forehead, cheeks, chin, and then to her pouty lips. Logan hated to leave. Her relationship with her father was shaky, and she wouldn’t even return Teal’s phone calls. Logan was worried that Katie was placing her friendship with the girl in jeopardy.

  In the week he’d had spent with her, he could tell that Katie was a little hermit. She was content in his arms on the couch all day long. Logan never considered himself one to soak in a tub, but Katie often had him in there with her until the water turned cold.

  At first, he thought it was Katie’s way of spending time with him before he left for Kentucky, but soon Logan realized she had a total of one close friend, and her father. Her phone never rang unless it was her agent or editor, she never had visitors unless it was a package from Amazon—he had to admit he was a little a
nnoyed with the delivery guy’s flirting—and Katie never wanted to do anything outside. Granted it was still chilly, but Logan vowed to get her out of the house in May when he came back.

  “Fine, remember you have one week, seven days, and however many hours are in a week to come back, and that includes the two day travel time. Or I will come get you.”

  He nodded. “It might not even take that long.” He was sure it would take about six days total, but he didn’t tell her he’d planned to either fly or take the train back. Logan had been locked up for eight years, so he didn’t mind traveling the East Coast by bus.

  “What have you decided to tell Trent about me?” She ducked her head away, apprehensive about him telling Trent his girlfriend was black.

  Logan was nervous because just as Katie was torn regarding her dad, he didn’t want to have to choose between Katie and Trent. Even though he would always choose love over hate, he still had a hard time with the thought of his best friend not accepting Katie. “I’m going to tell him I fell in love with you long before I’d ever seen you, and when I found out you were black, I acted like an asshole until I realized you were the one.” He moved his hands down Katie’s back and rested them over the swell of her ass. “I’ll tell him the truth.”

  “You’ll tell him love is color blind?” Her brow arched.

  “Something like that.” Logan wasn’t sure he could convince Trent of that; Trent was set in his ways and had always hated any race that wasn’t his own.

  “You don’t have to convince him of anything, Logan.” She peeked around him as the announcer called his bus number. “All you have to do is let him know that you are happy, and if he is really your friend, he’ll be happy for you whether he approves or not.”

  Logan felt the same way about Katie’s friend Teal, but in that area he kept his mouth shut. Walking with Katie to his bus, he stopped next to it and kissed her goodbye. He watched as she waited for the bus to pull away before he turned around. For some reason, she seemed concerned that he would take longer than a week, but Logan only planned to get his inheritance, and talk to Trent and a few old friends. It would probably take him less than four days if he flew back. He and Trent didn’t have much to catch up on since they’d kept in touch over the past eight years.

  Arriving at the station in Kentucky, Logan was tired and annoyed. His quiet East Coast bus ride was supposed to be relaxing, but thanks to a man named Donald and his twenty-year-old girlfriend, Logan spent more than half of the time pretending to be asleep or answering questions about his tattoos. The twenty-four hour trip had all but guaranteed he’d be buying a plane ticket back.

  Logan hoped off the bus and headed to the parking lot in search of Trent. He wasn’t sure if the man had gotten his truck back, so Logan scanned the parking lot, spotting him leaning against an old, yellow pick-up truck. Though it’d been eight years and Trent had come up to visit him a few times, Logan was surprised by how much his friend had changed. He’d grown his hair out, gained more muscle than Logan, and had twice as many tattoos, giving him a full sleeve on both arms and a few tattoos on his neck. When Logan reached him, Trent moved off the truck and engulfed him in a manly, but welcoming hug.

  “About time,” Trent said as he pulled back. “I’ve been out here waitin’ for your ass,” he joked.

  Logan jerked his head at the truck, and tossed his bag in the bed. “What’s with this piece of shit?”

  Trent kicked the tire. “I told you that crazy-ass bitch took my Dodge. I swear, if I could kick her ass without ending up in jail I would.” Trent laughed, but Logan raised a brow.

  “You’ve never laid a hand on a woman, and even if you could without consequence, you wouldn’t,” he said as he opened the passenger side door. He knew Trent and the women he dated. All of them were the kind that were used to getting slapped around, but never by Trent.

  “Nah, shit ain’t worth it. Plus, you know I love me some little short women, too. I’m too damned big to be pushin’ ‘em around.” Trent jumped in the driver’s seat and started the rough sounding truck.

  Logan listened to the struggling engine as it roared to life, and heard a knocking noise. “That sounds like a clogged air filter, or you need a damned tune-up.” He listened carefully as they headed down the road. “Although, it could be the timing is set improperly. I’d have to get under the hood and look at it.”

  His buddy waved off his concerns for the truck. “What I want to hear about is why it took you two whole weeks to get down here, and who is this new girl you met?” Trent glanced at Logan in disapproval. “Is it that bitch that sent you looking for weed?”

  “Hell no,” Logan grumbled. “Someone new.” He hadn’t meant to sound elusive, but he was waiting for a better moment to confide in him about Katie. Trent had never expressed hate for just one race. Gang violence had taken his father’s life, and Trent had attributed that to the fact that illegal immigration was on the rise. There was also something about a girl in his past, but Trent never explained more than a few words like, “never trust ‘em” or “they’ll take your pride then run and hide.” He’d taught Logan every racist word there ever was, and even though Trent seldom threw them around, there were times when he did and Logan wasn’t interested in the backlash that would cause between him and Katie.

  “Someone new, eh?” Trent scratched his scruffy beard. “The girl you were calling on the phone?”

  Logan glanced over at him. He hadn’t told Trent about Katie, and now he was searching his memory for any information he could have let slip.

  Trent reached over and slapped Logan on the back. “I’m just guessing. You needed a big ass credit for your phone bill, and I don’t know many men who sit around all day chattin’ it up with other men on the phone.” Trent took a sharp turn. “Except maybe them gays.”

  “It’s a woman.” Logan felt the need to set the situation straight.

  Trent laughed. “I bet she is.” His laughter faded and he got serious. “So, you want to head by the shop and see the job I got lined up for you when your PO gets you the waiver to move back?” He was at a light. If he went straight, Logan knew it’d take him to Trent’s, and with a right turn they’d end at Lou’s Automotive Repair. Trent’s hand hovered over the turn signal.

  Logan shook his head. “Nah, man. I’m good for now.”

  Trent tapped the steering wheel and said, “So, home it is.”

  He didn’t have the heart to tell Trent that he was about to create a new home.

  After waiting for the light to change, Trent spoke. “Logan, you planning on living with me or getting your own place?”

  He thought for a moment. “What if I told you I planned on going back to Vermont?”

  “I’d tell your ass there ain’t nuttin’ up there for you,” Trent huffed. “You got a place to stay and a job here, and if this is about that girl, tell her to come and visit for a while.”

  “For a while,” Logan repeated. “I have to tell you, man, it’s more serious than that.” He had already made his choice.

  “Yeah.” Trent threw one hand over the back of the seat, and continued driving with the other. “So was the chick that got you locked up, and the one before, who lied and said she was pregnant to try and scam you out of three hundred dollars for an “abortion”. Oh, and don’t forget about the one who said she didn’t have the clap.” Trent glanced at Logan for a second, then turned his eyes back to the road. “Need I go on?”

  Nope, he got the message loud and clear. “Point taken, and I never slept with that one with the clap.” He rolled his window down and propped his elbow on it. He thought of Katie in the morning when they woke up; her hair in a sexy disarray of curls on her head, the sweet noises she made as she stretched her limbs, and the blood-boiling kisses she placed on his tattoos to wake him up. Logan knew she was different, and while he didn’t have to convince Trent, he wanted to try. “What if I told you this one was different?”

  “Ha! What if I told you that I’ve heard that from you be
fore?” Trent thumped the steering wheel again. “And what always ends up happening?”

  “Not this time. This woman doesn’t need me in her life, but she accepts me in it.” Trent’s laughter started to piss Logan off.

  “Sentimental fuck,” he muttered. “And it always gets you into trouble. Always. Last time it got you locked up. What the hell, Logan? Drugs? You don’t even smoke cigarettes, and you took some chick to pick up weed?”

  As Trent’s voice rose, so did Logan’s temper. “I don’t need the goddamned lecture. How do you feel about that? I served my time, and now we won’t bring it up again, agreed . . .” It wasn’t a question, and the tone of Logan’s voice was a friendly reminder that he wasn’t playing around.

  Trent sucked his tongue. “You know I only say this shit ‘cause it’s true. If it wasn’t, I’d keep my fuckin’ mouth shut.”

  Logan didn’t agree or disagree, and as Trent’s house came into view, he turned to him and punched him in the shoulder, causing the car to swerve.

  “Fuck, man!” Trent bellowed good-naturedly. He pulled into the driveway and turned the engine off. Turning to Logan, he said, “Just think about it, man. You have a life here—a place to stay and a steady income. Don’t fuck that up over some chick in another state.” Trent decked Logan in the arm with a powerful—yet playful—punch, and then jumped out of the truck.

  Shit hurt like hell. “Dick!” he called after Trent, who threw a middle finger up over his shoulder, heading up the driveway and into the house.

  Logan got out of the truck and grabbed his bag from the back. While Trent was right about him having a steady job and a place to stay here, small piece of shit town that it was, he was wrong about Katie. He had a few days to convince Trent to give her a chance . . . because whether Trent liked or accepted it, Logan would be leaving to start a life in Vermont with Katie.

  Logan woke up to screaming. Having been in jail for the last eight years, waking up to screaming, yells, or the occasional moaning wasn’t unusual. However, Logan wasn’t in jail; he was asleep on a cot in Trent’s extra room. The sounds of a screaming woman had awakened him, so he stood and went to the door. Trent was coming around the corner with a big pot of what Logan thought was water. His mind was fuzzy with sleep and he was confused.