The Demon Headmaster and The Prime Minister’s Brain

by Gillian Cross

  ‘The Computer Director is dangerous! He is evil! No one is free and—aargh!’

  Heavier feet rattled after him and his words were interrupted by an anguished scream. Then the scream, in its turn, was cut short. Cautiously, Lloyd peered out from his shelf, up the alley, driven nearly mad by not being able to see anything.

  At the far end of the alley, three figures were struggling. Two men in white coats were trying to get a grip on a boy of about Lloyd’s age. A boy with curly chestnut hair, who was fighting wildly to escape.

  But before Lloyd could call the others, or decide whether they should attempt a rescue, the men got the upper hand. Wrenching the boy’s arms unmercifully behind his back, they dragged him off up the aisle. A moment later, Lloyd distinctly heard the smooth, sliding sound of the lift doors closing and the hiss of the lift moving away. He gave them a second to get clear and then called softly to Harvey.

  ‘OK?’

  ‘I think so.’ Harvey looked almost green as he peeped over the edge of the top shelf. ‘It was terrible. They hurt him. They pulled his arms and jerked his head back and—’

  ‘And did you hear what they said?’ came Ingrid’s triumphant voice. She strolled round the corner, eating an apple and looking pleased with herself. ‘Did you hear them talking about the octopuses? It’s just like I said. The whole place is riddled with those awful octopuses. All the way up from the helicopter and—’

  ‘Ingrid.’ Lloyd only just managed to stop himself from shouting. ‘Will you please shut up about that helicopter! We’ve got enough problems, without you driving us all mad.’

  ‘Please yourself,’ sniffed Ingrid. She turned her back on the others and crunched loudly at her apple.

  Harvey did not even seem to have heard her. He was still talking about the men, babbling on and on in a nervous, shocked voice. ‘And the worst part about it was that they weren’t angry. They just hurt him mechanically, like robots. That’s what this whole building is, you know. A giant robot, all controlled by a computer. And the computer’s controlled by the Computer Director. And you heard what that boy said about the Computer Director—’

  His voice rose higher and higher as he spoke, and Ian nudged Lloyd. ‘What are we going to do?’ he murmured anxiously. ‘We’ve got to get him down fast. And he’s not in any state to climb.’

  Lloyd thought for a moment. ‘Ropes,’ he said briskly. ‘If those men could get ropes out of the store, so can we. They’ll help Harvey get down safely. If we can find them. I don’t think we ought to risk trying to use the computer.’

  ‘I don’t think we need to use the computer,’ said Mandy. She took a step backwards, so that she could see the top shelf better, and called gently upwards. ‘Harvey! Did you see where the trolley went, to get the rope for the men?’

  Harvey nodded nervously. ‘It was a great long rope and they’re going to tie him up with it and—’

  ‘And we’re going to help him,’ Mandy said soothingly. ‘We’ll get him free, don’t you worry. But we’ve got to get you down first. If Ian and I go off to look for ropes, do you think you can watch us and tell us which way to go?’

  The unhurried steadiness of her voice seemed to have an effect on Harvey. He knelt up on the top shelf, ready to watch, and when he spoke again, he sounded calmer.

  ‘Go up here to start with. That’s right … now turn left … go along past about three alleys … turn right … should be somewhere round about that corner.’

  A couple of minutes later, Ian and Mandy were back. They had not simply brought a rope. They had garlanded themselves with ropes, looping the coils on both arms and round their necks.

  ‘This one’s to help get Harvey down,’ Ian said, ‘and the others are for us to take. One each. They should come in useful if we have to go up and down that chute any more.’

  ‘I know it’s like stealing,’ Mandy said earnestly, ‘but we’re only borrowing them. And—it’s an awful long drop down to that car park.’

  ‘I think we should take everything we can!’ Ingrid said fiercely, turning round at last. ‘It all belongs to the Computer Director, doesn’t it? And he’s just as bad as I said he was. I warned you—’

  Lloyd gritted his teeth. ‘Ingrid, will you shut up!’ He wished he could gag her. ‘Stop wasting time and let’s start by getting Harvey down.’

  Reaching for the neat coil of nylon rope that Ian was holding out to him, he stepped back, ready to throw it up to the top shelf. ‘Watch out, Harvey! It’s coming!’

  It was the sort of thing that always looked very easy on television. When people threw ropes in plays, they landed exactly in the right place, in reach of the person who was waiting. But it took Lloyd seven attempts. Twice Harvey nearly fell off the shelf and once the rope sailed right over the top and landed in the next alley.

  But at last it was done. Harvey held the coil of rope in his hand. For a moment he stared stupidly at it, as though he could not guess what he should be doing with it. Then he got the idea. Wriggling his way along the shelf until he reached one of the upright supports, he began to knot one end of the rope round it.

  ‘Mind you tie it tightly,’ called Mandy in an anxious voice.

  Harvey nodded, and tested his knot carefully by tugging at the rope before he started to climb down. It did not take long. In a few seconds, he was standing on the ground beside the others.

  ‘Petrified pancakes!’ he whistled. ‘That was really awful. I feel like a jelly in a jungle.’

  ‘Don’t be so feeble,’ Ingrid said scornfully. ‘You ought to be pleased. Now we’ve got the ropes, we’ll soon be out of this place and—’

  ‘What did you say?’ Lloyd stared at her.

  ‘Well—we must get out of here, mustn’t we?’ Ingrid gave a defiant toss of her head. ‘You heard what sort of thing was going on. With those men around, we’re in danger.’

  ‘Oh, Ing!’ Mandy said. ‘What about Dinah?’

  Ian walked slowly round Ingrid, looking her up and down. ‘You really are a prize specimen, aren’t you? You ought to be in a museum. Labelled Selfish Little Creep.’

  Ingrid tossed her head again. ‘I’m not a creep. And I do care about Dinah. But what’s the use of staying in this horrible, dangerous building, climbing up and down the rubbish chute. We haven’t found Dinah yet. We haven’t done anything useful at all. I think we should get out and call the police.’

  ‘But what would we tell the police?’ Mandy said gently. ‘We saw that boy being taken off, but we don’t know why. And that’s all we’ve seen. If we start telling the police, they’ll probably arrest us. For illegal entry and trespassing and stealing ropes and—’

  ‘I think it’s stupid to go on,’ said Ingrid, pulling a stubborn face. ‘Ask Harvey. He knows. He watched the men knocking that boy around.’

  They all turned to look at Harvey. He was still very white and shaken. Mandy put a hand on his arm,

  ‘What do you think? Could you bear to go on?’

  ‘It was foul,’ Harvey said softly. ‘It scared me silly watching the way that boy was treated. There’s something really bad going on in here.’

  ‘You see?’ Ingrid put her hands on her hips and looked triumphantly round at them all. ‘Harvey agrees with me.’

  But Harvey shook his head. ‘No, you’ve got it wrong, Ing. What I said is not a reason for going back. It’s a reason for going on. We’ve got to save Dinah, and we’ve got to rescue that boy. Come on, let’s get started.’

  Picking up one of the coils of rope, he looped it over his shoulder and began to walk towards the rubbish chute.

  14

  ‘The Prime Minister’s Brain’

  The Headmaster strode down the room towards Dinah. He seemed to tower taller and taller, like a nightmare. She could not move an inch. As if she were in a dream, she was paralysed by the thought of what would happen next.

  But none of her terror could have showed on her face, because Camilla went on congratulating her in the same happy, relieved voice.


  ‘—you’re brilliant, Dinah, you really deserve to be the Junior Computer Brain and I know it’s silly to be worrying about Robert, because he’s sure to be all right but I’m so pleased you’ve done it and he can come back and—’

  And the Headmaster can get on with his plans, whatever they are, thought Dinah. Fear was making her stupid. She could see the tall figure getting nearer and nearer and she could see the precious, secret information on the screen of her S-7, but it was not until the Headmaster was almost at her desk that she realized what she ought to be doing. A very simple, obvious thing.

  Jerking forward in her seat, she tapped quickly at her S-7’s keyboard, ordering it to disconnect and to wipe everything she had just done off its screen and out of its memory, Just in time, as the Headmaster stopped beside her, the screen went blank.

  ‘Dinah?’ Camilla said, sounding puzzled.

  Dinah sat back calmly, folding her hands together, and waited to see what the Headmaster would do. For a second he did not speak. He stood very very still and stared down at her through his pebbly glasses, without any expression. She kept just as still, not watching him but gazing down at her fingers.

  ‘Well, well,’ he murmured at last. ‘Clever Little Dinah Glass. How did you get in here? The computer was programmed to keep out anyone called Glass.’

  Dinah did not look up. ‘I’m called Dinah Hunter now,’ she said, in a level, matter-of-fact voice. ‘The Hunters adopted me.’

  ‘Extraordinary.’ The Headmaster raised his eyebrows. ‘People waste so much energy on totally pointless actions. Well, Miss Dinah Hunter, what was all the noise about? Am I to understand that you have solved my little problem?’ He glanced at her blank screen. ‘Apparently not.’

  ‘Oh but she has she has,’ Camilla said eagerly, ‘I saw the heading on her screen it said Prime Minister Personal Information and that’s right isn’t it that’s what we were supposed to be doing—’

  The Headmaster’s eyes were suddenly alert. ‘So you have found the password. I must congratulate you. When I ran a projected feasibility study on the S-700 I worked out that the odds were that one of you would discover the password. But not for three days. You have been very quick.’ His voice sharpened. ‘So—why is your screen blank?’

  ‘Because I’m not going to let you get at the Prime Minister’s personal information.’ Dinah jumped to her feet and looked round the room. All the Brains had stopped working. They were staring in her direction, wondering what the disturbance was about. Raising her voice, Dinah shouted so that they could all hear. ‘Listen, everyone, I know what’s been going on. We’ve been trying to break into the Prime Minister’s computer. And it’s not a game. It’s real!’

  There was an awed gasp and then total silence as they all waited to hear what she would say next. Quickly, she gathered her thoughts. It was no use beginning on a long tale about what the Headmaster had done before. She needed to get the Brains on her side. Quickly.

  ‘I have just discovered the password that the Computer Director wants,’ she shouted. ‘But that password means power. I don’t think we should give anyone power like that without knowing why he wants it. I think we should ask the Director to explain what he’s up to!’

  A rumble of agreement came from all over the room. All the Brains sat back and folded their arms. The message was clear. They were stopping work until they discovered what was going on.

  An irritated frown crossed the Headmaster’s face, but he did not get angry. Instead, he glanced round the room and then began to make a speech, in a calm, reasonable tone.

  ‘All of you must often have thought how badly this country is run. Money not shared equally among people. Parents bringing up their children on junk food and letting them roam the streets. Inefficiency, strikes, waste. Doesn’t it all worry you?’

  Heads nodded in every part of the room.

  ‘And haven’t you ever thought,’ the Headmaster went on, ‘that everything could be much better run by one man—one man who cared more about efficiency and order than about his own wealth or comfort?’

  Some heads nodded again. Not as many, but still quite a few.

  ‘I am that man.’ The Headmaster said it quite simply. ‘Ask this girl who knows me.’ He turned to Dinah. ‘Do you deny that I am extraordinarily efficient?’

  ‘No, of course not,’ said Dinah, ‘but—’

  He swept on, not letting her add anything. ‘And am I concerned with making money for myself?’

  ‘No,’ Dinah said reluctantly, ‘I don’t think you are, but—’

  Interrupting her again before she had finished, he turned back to face the rest of the room. ‘You have heard what sort of man I am. Now I am glad to tell you that I have prepared a vast, efficient scheme for running this country properly. It will be operated from this building by the S-700. Soon, this will be the most disciplined, orderly country in the world.’

  ‘But even supposing all that’s true,’ Dinah finally managed to say, ‘what’s it got to do with the Prime Minister’s computer?’

  There was a tiny, tense pause. All the Brains were alert. This was the question they all wanted answered.

  ‘It is difficult to make people be sensible,’ the Headmaster said at last. ‘They waste time being stubborn and arguing. Claiming they have a right to choose what happens. My plan will cut out all that wasteful choice. Once I have spent an hour or so with the Prime Minister, my scheme will be the only choice that people have.’

  Bess rubbed her forehead. ‘It all sounds rather miserable,’ she said timidly. ‘I like to choose. I like to choose my clothes and my books and presents for my family and—’

  ‘All completely wasteful,’ the Headmaster interrupted sharply. ‘Once my scheme is in operation, you will wear the clothes you are issued and read the textbooks which will teach you what you need to learn. Presents and other books are simply a distraction from work.’

  There was a horrified gasp as people started to understand just what kind of country he was planning. Then Camilla spoke, sounding puzzled.

  ‘But what I don’t see is how you’re going to persuade the Prime Minister because however good your arguments are and however much time you have to explain, Prime Ministers always have their own ideas don’t they and they can’t just swap over—’

  ‘He won’t be trying to persuade anyone,’ Dinah said. Suddenly she felt very tired and afraid. ‘He doesn’t need to persuade. He can hypnotize people—almost everyone—and make them do exactly what he wants. I don’t suppose the Prime Minister’s any different.’ She could see from the doubtful faces round the room that the Brains did not believe her. Banging the desk with her fist, she spoke more fiercely. ‘Don’t you understand what we’ve been doing? We haven’t just been finding him a way into the Prime Minister’s computer. We haven’t just been finding him a way into Number Ten Downing Street, even. We’ve been finding him a way into the Prime Minister’s brain!’

  ‘You seem to have grown very excitable,’ the Headmaster said. ‘But now you have finished ranting, perhaps you will give me the password you have discovered. I’m sure you can remember it, even though you may have wiped it off your computer.’

  Dinah gaped. ‘You’re mad! Do you really think I’m going to tell you? Do you think I’m going to have anything to do with your plans for turning people into robots?’

  The Headmaster’s lips pinched together impatiently. His face was stern and motionless. But when he spoke again he sounded surprisingly smooth. Almost kind.

  ‘Wouldn’t you like to think again?’ he said softly. ‘It’s always a mistake to take important decisions in a hurry, and you have had a very exhausting day.’

  Dinah had expected him to start shouting at her. For a moment she did not understand why he was so gentle.

  ‘I’ve tired you all out, I’m afraid,’ crooned the Headmaster. ‘You must be feeling very weary, very sleepy …’

  Dinah was nearly taken in. She nearly relaxed, thinking that the worst of the danger was pas
t. Then, just in time, she noticed the Headmaster’s hand, which was moving slowly up towards his face as he spoke. Ready to take off his glasses. Ready to uncover his eyes.

  His eyes! In the split second before they gazed into hers, Dinah understood what the Headmaster was up to. Once he was staring straight at her, with those huge, extraordinary sea-green eyes, he would be able to hypnotize her. He had done it often enough before for her to know that she had no chance of resisting. Once she looked into his eyes, she would be lost, and he would be able to get her to do anything. Even tell him the password.

  Just in time, she screwed up her eyes, shutting them so tightly that she could not see anything except the lights that danced in the blackness behind her eyelids.

  The Headmaster’s voice stopped for a moment. Then he said, ‘Open your eyes, Dinah.’

  ‘I won’t!’ Dinah said defiantly, clenching her fists and flinging her head up. ‘I know you want to hypnotize me, but I won’t open my eyes, and then you can’t.’

  He drew his breath in sharply, irritated. ‘What a tiresome girl you are.’

  ‘You can’t make me open my eyes,’ Dinah said more quietly. ‘Can you?’

  There was no answer.

  That was more unnerving than any bullying. It was torture not to be able to see what the Headmaster was doing. But she was not going to let herself get caught by something as simple as that. It’s only a trick, she told herself severely. Don’t be fooled.

  Even so, it was very dark and lonely standing there with her eyes shut. What could she do next? Gould she trust Camilla to tell her when the Headmaster had gone—or was Camilla too concerned about Robert? Would Bess—?

  And then Bess screamed. A high, shrill shriek of pain and terror. The sort of noise that cannot be faked. Automatically, Dinah’s eyelids flew up. There was no way that she could have stopped them.

  ‘Bess, are you all right—?’

  But the second her eyes opened, she found herself staring into the Headmaster’s wide green ones. He gave a satisfied smile, dropped Bess’s arm, which he had been twisting cruelly behind her back, and began to murmur at Dinah.