by R B Hilliard
Yes, Max McLellan is now trying not to laugh at stupid Ellie Davis.
“I’ll keep that in mind when I fill up in the future.” He smiled and winked when he said this. I could feel my face flaming at this point and wanted to just get in my crap-heap car and go. “And, just so you know, I don’t smoke,” he added, his sexy blue eyes taking me in.
“Okay, uh, good to know. Well, guess I’ll see you around.” I made myself turn away before I said or did something really stupid.
“Hold up.” I felt his hand on my arm.
“Yes?” I tried not to gasp at the fact that he was touching me.
“I just wanted to say thanks for the advice on…uh… car safety.” He was now unabashedly grinning at me.
I am such an idiot.
“I’m now going.” I squeezed out breathlessly, sure that the color of my face was showing the degree of my embarrassment.
“Okay Ellison, maybe I’ll see you around.”
Oh my God, he actually knows my name.
The timber of his voice resonated through my body. It was deep and rich and, like a favorite song, was something I wanted to hear over and over again. Bypassing Joss’ house, I drove back home thinking about how he knew my name. I was so enthralled with the experience that I even forgot to correct him when he called me Ellison. I hated my first name with a passion. Probably because my aunt only used it when she was ordering me to do something or when I was in trouble. I kind of liked it when Max said it, though.
Something to think about later.
When I got home, I flopped on my bed and immediately called Piper who, of course, was a bit worried about what she deemed my debatable ‘stalker obsession’ with Max. In complete Piper fashion, she phoned her brother RJ and talked to him about it. RJ called his ex-girlfriend Linda, who was a senior in Max’s class, to get the scoop. Piper then called me back to inform me that Max was currently involved with a cheerleader named Jennifer Tilson. Being that I knew pretty much everything about Max, I was well aware of his so-called relationship with Jennifer. RJ also told Piper to tell me to back off.
Back off of what? I hadn’t done anything.
He said that Jennifer and her senior friends were a bunch of man eating bitches and could really cause me problems. This, too, was not news to me as I had already been warned to keep my eyes to myself, which I found greatly amusing. First of all, I only glanced at Max for a moment. Second, he was way out of my league. That they would find me, a mere nobody, remotely threatening…was funny. I found it ironic that a guy like Max was dating a cheerleader. He seemed the type to fall for a musician or an artist. A rah-rah cheerleader?
Not so much.
Piper was worried about me, but instead of criticizing, she just told me to be careful and to make sure I took care of myself and my heart. She was good like that. She would charge in and get her heart shattered into a million pieces, but would do anything and everything to protect mine.
I was well aware of Max before the gas station incident. After all, he was my fantasy guy. I couldn’t help but pay attention to what he was wearing or who he was with when he passed by my locker. Watching Max and his trail of girls was fun and passed the time.
After running into him that day at the gas station, however, something felt… different. It was as if he was now aware of me. He suddenly seemed to be everywhere. Had he always been everywhere and I just didn’t realize it or was this new? I could tell that I was now on his radar, whereas before, I didn’t exist. I knew this because I could now feel his eyes on me. Every now and then I would catch him watching me. Whenever this happened, his eyes would soften and his mouth would quirk, like we shared a secret. It always happened so fast that it made me wonder if I had imagined it. Piper said that it was probably gas pains because everyone knew that Max didn’t do soft and definitely didn’t do innocent.
I wouldn’t call myself completely innocent per se, as I had kissed my fair share of boys. I was, however, still ‘intact’ but only because I had not found the right guy…yet. Yes, I was aware that I was probably the only eleventh grade virgin alive, but because my mom had given it up so easily which had resulted in such extreme consequences, I was extra careful. Plus, I knew that every time I walked out the door my aunt held her breath wondering if this was going to be the moment that, like my dad, I screwed it all up. Piper was no help whatsoever. She had a very liberal view about sex and, therefore, had been pressuring me to give up my virginity since what seemed like kindergarten. The truth was that I was afraid to disappoint or be disappointed. I didn’t want to experience the walk of shame or to hear how I rated on a scale of one to ten the next day. I wanted to be loved like the women in my favorite books. I decided the best thing for me to do was to wait and hope that the right guy would someday come along.
The beginning of February Piper called and told me she was coming home for the weekend to celebrate her oldest brother Rex’s twenty-first birthday. I couldn’t wait. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas and, because of school and work, had only talked to her a handful of times. To have her home for two days was just what I needed.
She flew in on a Friday afternoon and dropped by school early to surprise me and catch up with her old teachers and friends. Within the first half hour, she managed to get us invited to a coveted senior party happening that night. I wondered if Max would be there.
After school Joss drove us over to Piper’s house to get ready. We spent about an hour lying on her bed, comparing high-school stories and talking about boys. Piper was in the middle of telling us about some twenty-two year old guy that she had to kiss in order to score free tickets to some concert when I spotted her iPod sticking out of her purse. Grabbing it, I scanned her play list for the song I wanted. Then, placing it on her iPod dock, I pushed play and Amy Lee of Evanescence started singing. Bring Me to Life was a hauntingly beautiful song and I loved it.
“I want to talk to you about something,” Piper said, turning Amy down.
“Hey,” I complained.
“Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” I dramatically sighed, causing Joss to snort with humor.
“Don’t you think that you have taken this whole virginity thing a little too far?”
“What virginity thing?” Joss raised an eyebrow in question.
“Mine,” I informed her.
“You are still a virgin?” She was clearly shocked by this.
“Yep.”
“Ellison,” Piper said in her most sympathetic voice, one I had heard a thousand times before. “I keep telling you to just get it over with. Yes, it hurts the first time, but that sets you up for all of the great times after.”
“Gee, Piper, you sound like you’re doing a PSA. Try it. It’s painful as hell, you’ll bleed for a day and won’t sit down for a week, but in the end…it’s all worth it!” Joss spouted.
“Good one Joss,” I high fived her. “And you know why I don’t sleep around, Piper.”
It took me a year to trust Piper enough to tell her about my family dynamic, or lack thereof. She, of all people, knew why I was still a virgin.
“What exactly are you waiting for?” Joss asked.
“Max,” Piper mumbled.
I wish.
“Not Max,” I clarified. “Plus, we all know that would never happen because he is way out of my league. He goes for cheerleaders and girls with experience and, since I am neither of those….. Look, you both know what happened between my parents. I refuse to end up like my mom.”
“Hey,” Joss said, squeezing my hand. “You are so much better than that or any of those girls which, by the way, makes you way too good for the likes of Max McLellan, okay? I say, no matter what, do what’s best for you. The right guy will come along.”
“I have one word for you,” Piper chimed in, “Con-dom.”
Whatever.
When we arrived at Matt’s house that night, I could tell by the number of cars down the street that the party had been going on for a while. It was unseasonably cool we
ather for mid-September in Charlotte. I was glad I had on my raspberry jewel necked velour sweater and my black jeans. I was going to wear a jean skirt but decided at the last second not to. Piper, who was wearing a short sleeved top and short skirt, was already complaining about frost bite.
We could hear Maroon 5’s She Will be Loved blaring from halfway down the block where we parked the car. A tall, attractive guy was standing at the front door greeting everyone.
“Hi Matt! Thanks for inviting us. These are my friends Ellie and Joss,” Piper said.
“Come on in.” He handed us each a beer and then proceeded to show us around the house. It was an amazing spread with six bedrooms and a huge kitchen that opened up into an enormous great room. I noticed that there was even a large fire pit blazing out back.
“Holy shit this house is amazing,” Piper whispered after we lost Matt to the doorbell.
Nodding in agreement, I couldn’t help but feel a bit claustrophobic. I hated big crowds and it was wall to wall people from one end of the house to the other. Joss, who had come through the door with us, had already disappeared into the sweaty mess of people.
“I’m going to look for Joss. Want to come with?” Piper asked.
Eyeballing the mass of bodies gyrating to the music, I said, “No, I think I’ll hang here in the kitchen and then maybe go look at the fire in a few.” There was no way in hell that I was going back out into that. It was bad enough the first time.
“Okay,” she hesitated, looking at me strangely. “You okay? I’ll come find you in a bit and you can introduce me to all of the hot guys.”
“Sure thing,” I assured her, rolling my eyes. “I’ll be fine right here.”
So, off she went and there I stayed. After saying hello to a few people I recognized, I refilled my beer and headed outside to the pit. I should have known who I would find there. Standing across the fire, reflected in the light, stood Max with four of his friends and a flock of girls, of course.
Dressed in all black, the boy was simply mesmerizing. His head was down and he seemed to be listening intently to something the guy next to him was saying. As if sensing someone watching him, he glanced up. Our eyes met and I was completely and utterly captured. A palpable tension surged between us, an instant connection. From the way his eyes roamed over me, I was certain he felt it too.
Jennifer, who was suctioned to his side, had on a cream colored see through blouse. This wouldn’t have been so bad except for the black push up bra underneath. Her mini skirt was so tight that I was surprised she could move in it and, by the look of the heels on her feet, she was in for a rough night. Eyes on me, Max leaned forward and said something in her ear.
Throwing her head back, she dramatically jumped up and down while making a noise that sounded like the squeal of a dying pig. The pained expression on Max’s face when she did this was priceless. Trying not to laugh, I turned my back to the fire and counted to ten. After gathering myself, I turned back around. Max was still watching me and, by the look of it, he knew exactly what I was thinking.
Crap!
Dropping my eyes to my feet, I tried not to smile. When I looked back up, Jennifer had him by the hand and was steering him toward the house, probably to have sex in a coat closet. When they passed by me, I caught his scent and shivered.
Leather and spice.
Feeling disappointed, I decided it was time to leave. I was hoofing it to the back gate, hoping it would lead me to the car, when Piper appeared.
Double crap!
“E, what’s wrong?” she grabbed my sleeve to slow me down.
“I think I should leave,” I told her.
“Why? What happened?”
“Max was out here at the fire and…Oh, never mind,” I said, shaking my head. There’s no way that I could make her understand what I was feeling, so why bother?
“Well, honey, they are together,” she murmured, as if telling me something I didn’t already know.
“I know, but did you see her tonight? Why would he want someone like that?”
“Probably because all the guys say that even though she’s a bitch and dresses like a ho, she is super limber and puts out in a variety of ways. Look,” she pulled me in, giving me a big hug, “he is not worth you being upset over. He is just an incredibly gorgeous asshole and you are way too beautiful to want someone who would treat you like that. Now, it’s high time that you forget about Max. You need to have some fun, quit acting like Debbie Downer and stop taking everything so damn seriously. We are juniors, in high-school, for Pete’s sake!”
“I was thinking that I’m pretty much done here,” I told her.
“Okay, but first, let’s get some more liquid courage and then we’ll re-evaluate the scene after.”
Maybe she was right. Maybe it was time to let my childish fantasy of Max go. Maybe it was time to embrace my reality, whatever that may bring…..maybe.
After several beers too many, Piper pointed to a guy who was standing across the room from us. “That’s Carter Andrews,” she half slurred. I kind of recognized him but, unlike Piper, I was not personally acquainted with all of the males in the entire high-school. “He’s cute and supposedly wild in bed,” she informed. As soon as the words left her mouth, Carter’s head shot up and his eyes landed on both of us.
“Nice Jedi mind trick,” I whispered.
She giggled. “I know, right?” We watched him approach.
“Piper,” he purred, “Where have you been?”
“Away,” she nonchalantly replied. “Carter, this is my best friend Ellie. Ellie, this is Carter.”
Carter was no Max, by all means, but with my beer goggles securely fastened, he was looking pretty good.
Fun with no strings Ellie. You can do this.
Carter toothily smiled. “Ellie, nice to meet you. You are looking hot tonight.”
I noticed that his left eye was wildly twitching and was about to ask him if he had something in it, when it hit me.
He’s winking at me.
I opened my mouth to thank him, when Piper slapped him on the back and said, “No shit, my eye allergies are horrible too. Just so you know, there are these new over-the counter eye drops at Walgreens that work miracles.”
The confused look on Carter’s face was priceless and so funny that I had to struggle not to spew my beer everywhere. If anyone could make me smile when my heart was hurting, it was definitely Piper.
“Well, have fun you guys. I see Kurt Greenfield over there and I am so not letting this opportunity pass me by,” she announced.
Kurt Greenfield was Max’s all-time best friend. I watched Piper make her way across the room to where Kurt and Max were standing and couldn’t help but compare the two. Where Max had bronze skin, black hair and blue eyes, Kurt was blonde and pale with hazel eyes. Max was built like a fighter whereas Kurt looked more like a distance runner.
Carter’s fingers trailing down my arm brought me back to the moment.
“I haven’t seen you around before. What year are you?” He asked.
“A Junior, and you?”
“Senior…. So, tell me sugar, where have you been? You are way too gorgeous to go unnoticed.”
“Well, I haven’t been to many parties this year,” I shyly admitted.
“I guess tonight’s my lucky night then,” he hummed, his fingers now roaming down my back.
Even with a serious buzz I knew that this guy was cute but a bit of a tool. It certainly didn’t hurt that I was seeing two of him at the moment. When he asked if I cared to inspect the upstairs with him, the earlier conversation I’d had with Piper flashed through my mind and, not wanting to be a Debbie Downer anymore, I said, “Sure.”
We were standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for people to pass by when I felt a chill run down my spine. I suddenly had the feeling that I was being watched. Halfway up the stairs, I glanced back over my shoulder and around the room.
Huh…Nothing there….
Shrugging it off, I headed the re
st of the way up.
Carter directed me to a large bedroom at the top of the stairs. By the time he closed the door, I was feeling nervous. My liquid courage began faltering and I was starting to second guess my decision to be alone with a guy who I really didn’t know.
“How about we turn on some music while we hang out?” he suggested, dancing his way to the iPod dock.
“Sure.”
I was thinking about how amusing this guy was, when Dirty Little Secrets started playing. I liked The All American Rejects, but this song at this moment in time was a complete mood kill.
I was wondering if Carter had ever actually listened to the lyrics, when he skipped back across the room and circled around behind me.
Okay, so maybe he is a little strange. I can do strange. After all, Piper is my best friend.
“Ellie,” he gasped and pressed his lips to my ear. I turned my head to get away from his hot breath and caught him leering down at my chest. His eyes cut to me and he grinned. “Has anyone ever told you what an incredible rack you have?”
Nice.
“Look, uh... Carter, I don’t normally do this.” I was incredibly uncomfortable.
“Hmmmm…Innocent. I see how you like to play it. That’s cool. I’ll play this any way you want.”
His condescending tone shot red flags to my beer soaked brain.
How I like to play it?
He gripped me from behind and inserted his tongue in my ear.
Ewwww.
Shivering in disgust, I took a step forward and disengaged myself from his hold.
“You smell gooood,” he hummed and pulled me back against his chest. “Like sex on a stick.” His breath stunk like sour Fritos. Trying not to gag, I glanced longingly across the room at the door and wondered if I should try to make a run for it. Before I could decide, he spun me around. Caught off guard, I looked up into his eyes and my stomach lurched.