by R B Hilliard
This guy wants to hurt me.
“I uh… need to go find Piper,” I stammered, trying to pull away from him. “She’s probably looking for me by now.”
“Shhhh,” he whispered, placing his finger across my lips. “I promise I’ll be quick. I never planned on hanging out for long anyway.” He grabbed my ass and started reeling me in. When I realized what he was doing, I reared back in protest. This made him mad and he yanked me the rest of the way in. As I opened my mouth to protest, he shoved his tongue down my throat and began dry humping my left thigh.
Time to leave, Ellie.
Surprised by his strength, grossed out by his breath and feeling utterly helpless, I now wanted out. “Stop Carter,” I wheezed. “You are squishing me and I can’t breathe.” I pushed at his chest, hoping he would let me go. “I’m not good with this anymore and want to leave, now.”
“Not until you pay the piper,” he sang and rammed his Frito smelling tongue back down my throat.
I was now completely sober and officially done. This was not what I had in mind for this evening. I was rejected by Max, assaulted by Carter and was now scared but pissed off. So, doing what any smart girl would do, I bit down on his tongue… hard. This got me a mouth full of blood and a backhand to the face. Completely taken off guard, I screamed out in pain. The throbbing in my cheek was excruciating and all I could think was… run.
I was half way to the door thinking I was home free when I felt a blinding pain sear across the back of my head. He had me by my hair. My eyes smarted but I was determined not to cry. I was trapped and wondering how in the world I got myself into this predicament. He had a hunk of my hair wrapped around his fist and I could hear him breathing heavily. My face and head were both pounding like crazy and I really wanted to go home. I’d take my aunt over this any day.
“Not smart Ellie,” he sang.
What the hell is with this guy? Hi, my name is Carter. I like to dance and sing and assault innocent girls.
Before I could get my next thought out, the door flew open and slammed against the wall behind it. I watched a really pissed off looking Max storm in, followed by two of his friends.
Thank God.
Before I could say anything, he yanked Carter off of me and was dragging him across the room.
“Hold him,” he commanded. Two sets of arms pinned Carter to the floor.
“You like hitting girls you sick fuck?” Max growled, as he pounded his fist into Carter’s face. Blood from Carter’s nose shot across the floor. “Tell me,” Max ground out through clinched teeth, “Did she say no?”
Carter, who was straining to break free, looked defiantly up at Max and smiled.
Not smart.
When he did this, Max went wild. In between each punch, he shouted, “No… Means… No!”
Feeling a little sick and fully vindicated, I said, “Max, please stop.”
His hand froze midair and his eyes shot up to my face. The look of concern on his face made my breath catch. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said, holding my stinging cheek.
“Please tell me that he didn’t do anything else?” His eyes scanned over my body for any other damage.
I pointed to my face. “No, this is the worst of it.” I tried to control my shaking voice.
With that being said, he slammed a groaning Carter on the floor like a sack of potatoes.
“You just seriously fucked up,” he growled. He then told his friends to take Carter out and leave him on the street.
Slowly he walked over to where I was standing. I could tell, by the clinching of his jaw, that he was having trouble reigning it back in. This was scary and…arousing. Not really sure what to do with this combination of feelings, I just stood there. Scowling down at the bruise that was already forming, he lifted his hand and lightly stroked it across my cheek.
I let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t think Carter will bother me again after that.”
“Not if he knows what’s good for him. I can’t believe he hit you,” he murmured. I was staring at the wall behind his head, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “I think I would have killed him, had you not asked me to stop,” he continued. I felt his fingers drift from my lip to my chin. “Ellison,” he whispered and then paused. I glanced up to see why he had stopped talking and was trapped in his eyes. They were so beautiful and so troubled… for me. “Why were you in here alone with him?”
What could I say to this?
Nothing that I would be willing to admit, especially to him.
Feeling emotionally and physically drained, I dropped my forehead to his chest, wrapped both of my arms around his waist and burst into tears. He held me and, while stroking his hands soothingly up and down my back, softly whispered in my ear. It felt so right and for a second, just a second, I pretended that he was mine.
“Hey,” he said, pulling me in. “You’re gonna be okay, I promise.”
Staring up into his eyes, I believed him. His scent of leather and spice was an intoxicating balm and his mouth…. God, it was perfect. I found my tongue unconsciously touching my swollen lip. His eyes dropped to my mouth and he moaned. There was no better sound than Max McLellan moaning for me. It was something I would never forget. I fought the urge to lean up and kiss him, to touch my lips to his… just once. He must have felt the pull too because I heard his breath hitch. His eyes devouring me, he leaned in and I knew that I was about to get my wish, when Piper burst into the room with Kurt and Jennifer trailing after.
Perfect timing, as usual, Piper.
“What the hell happened?” She shrieked.
“Why are you touching her?” Jennifer snarled.
Max and I both froze for a second and then carefully stepped back from each other. I watched his eyes narrow at Jennifer and then, leaning toward me, he whispered, “Glad you are okay. If Carter so much as blinks in your direction, find me or Kurt and I promise that we will take care of it, okay?”
Searching his eyes, I wanted to make sure that he was serious before nodding my consent. “Thanks for saving me,” I whispered.
Eyes softening, he reached out and, once more, rubbed his finger over my swollen cheek.
“Anytime,” he murmured.
Sucking in my breath, I fought the urge to grab onto him and never let go.
“Did that pecker head hit you? Where is he? I am going to kill him!” Piper screeched and, like that, the moment was over.
“Later,” Max said to the room as he walked with Jennifer out the door.
I let out a shaky sigh of relief and found myself enveloped in Piper’s arms.
“Oh, honey, I am so sorry I introduced you to him,” she said, her voice shaking.
I could tell that if I didn’t comfort her, she would start crying. So, I told her I was all right but wanted to go home. I needed to process the night. It wasn’t until much later that I wondered how Max knew I was upstairs with Carter. Had he followed me? I also wondered if it was my imagination or was he about to kiss me right before everyone barged in? It was a long time before sleep found me.
When I showed up to school on Monday, Carter, Max and I were the topic of discussion in the halls. Carter, thank God, avoided me like the plague. He looked horrible and was being shunned for how he had treated me. Max? Well, he was just one big disappointment. I didn’t expect him to declare his undying love, but I also didn’t expect him to ignore me and act like the night never happened. I could feel his eyes on me in the halls but that was about it. I avoided Jennifer and her friends because every time they saw me, they said or did something horrible. Evidently Max rescuing me tipped her over the edge.
After weeks of this, I was fed up.
“It happened weeks ago. It’s done.” I told Joss during lunch one day. “I’m over it and it happened to me, not her. All he did was help me out of a jam. She needs to get over it and move the hell on!”
“She probably thinks you’re the reason he dumped her.”
What? �
��What do you mean he dumped her?”
“Dumped her, broke up with her, kicked her ass to the curb. You know….dumped her,” she said, taking a bite of her sandwich.
“Let me get this straight. You are telling me that for the past three weeks they haven’t been together?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“At all?” I squeaked.
“At all,” she confirmed.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Who told you this?”
“Kurt.”
“Greenfield?”
“No, Cobain,” she deadpanned.
“Wait, isn’t he dead?” I whispered, thinking that she knew something I didn’t about one of the best Grunge Band lead singers of all time.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Jeez, Ellie, could you be anymore gullible? Yes, Kurt Greenfield.”
Ignoring her insult, I asked, “Since when do you hang out with Kurt Greenfield?”
“Since I ran into him last weekend and he told me that Max had dumped Jennifer’s ass like a bad habit the night of the party and wasn’t going back, ever, no matter how much she begged him. Look, it’s not like Max was exclusive with her or… well… really any girl for that matter.”
I had no idea that this had happened.
Where the hell had I been for the past three weeks?
“What do you mean they weren’t exclusive?” I asked. “They looked pretty exclusive to me.”
“Max McLellan is the type of guy who won’t do exclusive. Trust me on this.”
This was too much. It was then that it hit me. He didn’t want to kiss me that night. He was just being sweet. It was all in my head.
He wasn’t with Jennifer anymore. This was good. However, he certainly wasn’t making his move on me. This was not good. In fact, this was downright depressing.
Needing to process all of this, I cut school before last period, drove home and called Piper.
It had been weeks since my enlightening talk with Joss and I somewhat effectively had managed to avoid Max. This, of course, was easier said than done. He was ridiculously hard not to look at. Since the night of Matt’s party, he had kept his distance. Though, strangely enough, he kept popping up everywhere. Every flipping time he caught my eye, which was a lot, he would give me a look. Whatever. I figured that if I kept my head down things would blow over and, eventually, everything would go back to normal. My normal, that is, where I would watch Max from afar as he prowled up and down the halls while fending off his bevy of beautiful bubbly bitches.
Just shoot me.
A week later, my well thought out plan blew up in my face. I was coming out of the gym as he was leaving the wrestling room when he spotted me across the hallway.
“Sorry,” I mumbled to the poor person I almost fell over while trying to get away. I made it two steps further when I felt a hand grab my arm.
“Ellison,” he said in that deep crotch tingling voice.
Crap!
Closing my eyes, I told myself to keep walking. Did I do this? Noooo. Instead, I stood there frozen in his clutches while waiting for everyone to pass by. When the coast was clear, I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could get the words out, was being dragged down the hall and into the equipment closet.
“Max,” I said, as he shut the door.
“Why are you ignoring me?” he asked.
I could tell by his tone that he was not happy, but was instantly distracted by his beautiful eyes and the yummy minty smell of his breath.
“What?” I asked, pretending not to understand his question.
“You’re avoiding me and I want to know why?”
“Seriously?” I wondered if I had heard him correctly.
“I can always tell what you are feeling by your facial expressions.”
I gave him a skeptical look and he quickly explained. “When you are having a bad day, you hide your head in a book. When it’s a good day, you walk around with a cute little smile on your face. When you are frustrated, you purse your lips and your eyes get all squinty. When you won’t even look at me, like you’ve been doing for the past three weeks, I know that something is wrong. Tell me what it is.”
I was shocked at how perceptive he was. Not to mention that he had been watching me, possibly more than I watched him.
I will have to think about this later.
“I’m okay, Max.” I told him.
“You’re okay.” he repeated.
“Yes. I’m good now. You rescued me and Carter hasn’t said a word to me since that night, so you don’t have to look out for me anymore. You’re off the hook.”
He dropped his forehead to mine and I tried not to gasp when I heard him say, “But what if I don’t want to be?”
Not knowing how to respond, I just stood there breathing him in.
Mint mixed with leather and spices. I wish he’d just kiss me.
As if reading my mind, he slowly slid his hand up the back of my neck. Right as I thought he was going in for the plunge, he grabbed my ponytail and, in a non-threatening but crazy hot move, he pulled my head back, using just enough pressure to get my attention and my eyes, “Answer me Ellie,” he commanded.
Oh my.
“Look,” I told him, trying to sound logical. “After what happened with Carter, it’s normal to feel responsible. I’m just letting you know that I’m really okay.”
“No you’re not,” he replied.
“Yes…I…am,” I enunciated each word, hoping it would sink in.
“Nope,” he said, shaking his head.
This made me mad. I was okay. I didn’t want him to feel obligated because of what Carter did or didn’t do. I wanted him to want me because of….me. So, in true Ellie fashion, I blasted him. “You have done nothing but watch me in the halls for months now, Max. Then, you come to my rescue, where I know…I know that we connected and what do you do? You ignore me and act like it never happened. When I find out weeks later that you are no longer with your big nasty leech of a girlfriend, I don’t know what to think, except that you obviously don’t want me.” I took a deep breath because I was completely out of air.
“Big nasty leech?” he asked, lips twitching.
“Really nasty,” I said, trying not to smile.
His hand, still gripping my ponytail, slid down the back of my neck. “That’s the problem, Ellison. I do want you. I probably shouldn’t, but I do.” Oh so gently, he drew me in and touched his lips to mine. When he stroked his tongue across my bottom lip, I moaned, floored by how good it felt. Taking this as a green light, he slowly dipped his tongue inside my mouth and touched it to mine. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even blink when I felt his hand steal under my shirt.
“You taste so sweet,” he whispered against my mouth. Pulling me in closer, he turned his head to deepen the kiss, when a door slammed down the hall. The sudden noise made me jump and jerked me back to reality.
Without thinking, I pulled away. “I’m so sorry,” I said, touching my mouth. Before he could stop me, I slid out the door.
“Ellison,” I heard him say, but I was already halfway down the hall.
What in the hell just happened?
Max’s graduation ceremony was bitter sweet.
I screwed up the day that I ran out on him. What I didn’t know was how badly it would affect me. I still saw him in the halls but now, instead of watching me, he acted like I wasn’t there, like he didn’t know me and it was completely my fault. I knew this, but I didn’t know how to make it right. By the time graduation came around, I was a neurotic head case. I had zero appetite and was having trouble sleeping through the night. Piper assured me that what I was feeling was normal.
Nothing about this was normal.
Piper was home from Virginia and she and Joss were standing on the grassy knoll with me – yes they named it the grassy knoll. I held in my tears as I watched my beautiful Max and his friends graduate.
“You okay?” Piper asked, sliding her hand into mine.
; “No. I keep wondering where I would be right now if I had stayed in the closet with him.”
“You do know how that sounds?” she mused.
I threw her a small smile. “For some reason that song by Cinderella keeps running through my head.”
“Cinderella, as in the 80’s Hair Band?” Joss asked.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the look on her face, so I explained. “When we were in fifth grade, Piper’s brother Rex was going through a Hair Band phase.”
“He would blast his music through the house and drive us all crazy,” Piper added.
“He did this with Country and Rap too,” I pointed out.
“He did, didn’t he?” she laughed.
“Anyway, Abby Bartolo had just broken up with him and he was a mess about it.”
“You were spending the night and he played that Cinderella song, Don’t Know What You Got, like a million times,” she quietly added.
“Till it’s Gone,” I finished.
“Let’s get out of here,” Joss said and started down the embankment.
I stood there for a few more minutes watching. As soon as Max tossed his cap into the air, I turned away.
Goodbye Max.
After the ceremony, we drove across town to Providence for lunch. While we were eating Joss invited us to her lake house for the weekend. Her parents, of course, were traveling. Assuming that this was a girl’s only weekend, there was no need to glam up. This meant that I was wearing my usual cut offs and tank top. The only reason I still had make-up on was because I had worn it to graduation that morning.
Piper picked me up in her mom’s beat up old Suburban that we dubbed ‘The Beast’ and, with the windows down and Fall Out Boy on the radio, we were off. Finally summer was here.
As we pulled into a driveway full of cars, Piper asked, “Are you sure this is the right place?”
“Yep,” I said, double checking the address. “I thought Joss said three people, four if her cousin showed up and please, tell me that is not a red Scout with a black stripe down the side?” I pointed my finger in the direction of the truck parked at the front of the house.
“Sure looks like one. Hey,” she turned her surprised eyes to me, “doesn’t Max drive one of those?”