A Safe Place to Fall (Places Book 1)

by Barbara Doyle

  I pulled back my hand, but he stopped me, pressing my palm harder against him. I could feel the heat radiating from him, and when he opened his eyes he looked more intoxicated than me. I didn’t have the energy to try pulling away, because he didn’t seem to want me to.

  “Nate,” I said quietly, unsure of how I should sound given the pain on his face.

  Whenever I managed to get a reaction out of a guy, it never looked so painful. The way Nate was so focused on not making any sudden movements actually frightened me. Why was he fighting so hard?

  He finally let my hand go. “Good night.”

  He grabbed the extra pillow from the left side of the bed and laid down on the ground a good five feet away from me. I sat up and watched him fluff the pillow before resting his head on it. His arms were crossed on his chest, and he looked tense.

  “What are you doing?” I questioned.

  “Trying to sleep. Turn the light off.”

  He had to be kidding. “You’re sleeping on the floor after babbling on about how sleeping in the same bed wasn’t a big deal?”

  “You were right,” he replied. “We were kids back then, so it meant something different. We’re older now, and it’d be better if I slept on the floor.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’re going to hurt your back. I promise not to make any moves, okay? In fact, I can go to my own room. It’s only down the hall and—”

  “Absolutely not,” he cut me off, sitting up to look at me. “Just sleep here for the night. I don’t trust you enough to go walking on your own. For all I know you could fall and kill yourself in those heels.”

  We both knew how clumsy I was, so arguing with him would be pointless. Alcohol certainly didn’t help my equilibrium. It just made me feel slightly more invincible at things sober me knew I was terrible at doing. Like walking in a straight line for instance.

  “You’re not sleeping on the floor,” I informed him.

  “It’s better this way—”

  “Why?” I demanded angrily. “So I don’t jump you? You rejected me, Nate. Point taken. I won’t try anything because you’re clearly not interested.”

  He stood up and stalked over to me. “I never said that, Blair. I just know what’s better for us. We’re friends. We’re really good friends and I don’t want to fuck that up.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  He let out a small breath. “Plus I respect your brother, and he’s warned me plenty of times that if I ever lay my hands on you he’ll chop my dick off. I’d like to keep my favorite appendage.”

  What he doesn’t know won’t kill him, I wanted to argue, but I stayed silent. He wasn’t kidding around anymore. He wasn’t going to let anything happen because of Aaron. I should have respected that more, but the more I thought about all of his other one night stands, the more jealous I got.

  I laid down on my side. “Whatever,” I muttered.

  He reached out to touch my arm, but held back. I closed my eyes to block his image and heard him turn off the light. After a long moment of silence, the bed creaked with the extra weight of a second person. Nate kept his distance as he settled into the spot next to me. I wanted to be okay with the respect he had, but if I were any other girl he would have acted completely different.

  I let the thought pass so I wouldn’t get worked up over it. Something had happened when I touched him, and there was no denying he felt something for me in the elevator. We were close—so close—to being something other than friends. But of course the damn friend zone decided to pop up in the equation and bitch slap me in the face.

  Maybe it’s better this way, I thought to myself.

  I knew it wasn’t though.

  Something firm was wrapped around my waist, making it hard for me to move. For a moment, I had no idea where I was or who was with me, but when my memory slowly started coming back I knew whose arms were wrapped around me.

  Holy shit balls Nate was spooning me!

  I bit down on my lip as I soaked in the moment. Was he awake? Did he know that he was spooning me? Or was I asleep and dreaming that this whole thing was happening? When I wiggled to try getting out of his grasp, I knew for a fact I wasn’t dreaming.

  I could feel him pressing against me.

  I held my breath when his hands trailed down my thigh. I could hear his faint breathing, and knew he was still asleep. His hands stopped at my upper thigh and his thumb stroked my skin where my dress rode up. I closed my eyes and thought about what I was going to do. I needed to stop him, but my inner goddess wanted the exact opposite.

  I moved my head to look at his face, but as soon as I did I could feel the throbbing headache that took occupancy in my skull. My stomach twisted at the sudden pain and I knew that if I didn’t get out of this bed I was going to get sick all over it.

  I threw Nate’s arms away from my body and bolted toward the bathroom. I was surprised that I didn’t trip in my heels, but somehow I managed to make it to the bathroom without a mess. It didn’t take long before last night’s drinks made their debut back into the world.

  I didn’t hear Nate come in, but I froze when he gathered my hair back so it was out of my way. I grasped the sides of the porcelain, feeling the cool material in my warm palms. My eyes watered as the sour taste of vile rose in my throat.

  I groaned. “Go away.”

  “You’re going to puke on yourself,” he said quietly, keeping my hair in a ponytail behind me.

  The last time he did this was supposed to be the last time. It was when we were at the frat and his friends kept giving me more drinks. I was beyond wasted, and lost everything after leaving the party. Nate was nice enough to take care of me in my dorm room, and made sure I was asleep before he left. I swore to never drink again after that, but that had been years ago…

  “Please,” I pleaded weakly. “I don’t want you to see me like this again. It’s embarrassing.”

  He sighed, and kneeled down. He rubbed my back, easing some of the tension built in my muscles. I leaned against the toilet when my stomach started to settle. I closed my eyes and tried to avoid picturing what a disgusting mess I probably looked like. My blood-red hair was probably a tangled mess like it always was, and I was sure to have blotchy paler skin than normal.

  “It’s no big deal,” he assured me, circling his palm around my back. “We all go through this, B. I don’t mind taking care of you.”

  I didn’t say anything, because all I could do was replay how he just called me B. That was what he always called me when we were normal again. After last night I thought maybe I would be Blair, not the little sister that he saw me as. Now that we were back to nicknames, I had nothing left of last night to keep me hoping we could move on.

  “Do you want some water?”

  I silently nodded.

  I didn’t bother watching him walk around the room to get a glass or wet down a washcloth, but soon enough he was next to me passing me the glass and gently wiping my cheeks with the cloth. I took a sip and let him clean off my face, afraid that I had something on it. He didn’t seem to mind cleaning me off, which hurt my heart a little. Why did he have to care so much?

  “I’m never drinking again,” I murmured, leaning my forehead against my arm.

  He chuckled. “I seem to recall you saying the same exact thing the last time this happened.”

  “Well I promise this time.”

  “I certainly hope you break that promise.”

  I looked at him. “Why?”

  He gave me a soft smile. “I like being able to take care of you. Somebody has to, right?”

  Wrong.

  “I can take care of myself,” I informed him, suddenly defensive.

  I didn’t like it when people felt they needed to take care of me, especially if it was a guy. My last mistake of a boyfriend felt the need to control everything in my life, and believed that he needed to take care of me because I wasn’t capable. I’d been taking care of myself for a long time, but nobody seemed to see that.

 
“I know,” he said quickly. “I just…I don’t know. I like being able to help, you know? I guess I’ve always been that way since we were younger. Plus with Zach…”

  I groaned loudly. “Don’t even bring him up.”

  “Don’t you think talking about it will make you feel better? I mean after everything happened you stopped talking to everybody, and then—”

  The glare I shot him shut him up quickly.

  I pulled my heels off to let my feet breathe. When I stood up, the cool tile against my sweaty feet felt like heaven. I put the glass on the corner of the sink and walked out of the bathroom, leaving him alone.

  I sat on the bed and let my head throb painfully.

  Right now, all I wanted was aspirin and at least a few more hours of sleep. I knew I couldn’t get that though, because I had to see Aaron and Katie off before they left for Hawaii. They’d be away for two weeks, and if I wasn’t up to say goodbye, Aaron would have a fit. He hated when I slept in late. The only thing he hated more was when I was hungover, which meant breakfast probably wasn’t going to go over well.

  Nate walked into the room, leaning against the wall across from me. “I’m sorry. I know that some parts of your past are off limits. Although you never really told me why, so I don’t think I should have to play your silly little need-to-know game.”

  “It’s not a game. It’s just easier for me.”

  He frowned. “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “That’s not a good enough answer for me.”

  I shrugged. It was the only answer he was going to get. Reliving my old memories was something I refused to do. All the pain that I was put through for trusting the wrong guy did a lot of damage. Nobody could understand how I felt. Not even Nate.

  I got up instead of listening to him complain, and grabbed my shoes from the floor. I didn’t bother putting them on before I headed toward the door. When I was ready to have this conversation, I would be the one to start it. I doubted that I’d ever have it at all, much less any time soon.

  “Where are you going?” he called after me.

  I cringed at his loud voice as it echoed in my head.

  “Blair—”

  I turned around. “Leave me alone!”

  He stopped walking and held something up.

  My room key.

  I held out my hand. “Give it to me.”

  He smirked. “After last night’s events I’m surprised that you didn’t say that sooner.”

  I kept a neutral expression on my face. “Please pass me my key, Nate. I just want to get some medicine and change before breakfast.”

  “Breakfast is over with,” he informed me casually.

  My eyes widened. “What time is it?”

  “Ten.”

  “In the morning?” I asked frantically. “That means that Aaron and Katie left already. Why the hell didn’t you wake me up?”

  He walked over to me and held out the key. “Relax. You weren’t feeling good when they stopped by my room. I explained what happened, and they understood. Aaron wasn’t exactly happy that you got drunk, but he preferred you sleep it off.”

  When did they stop by? I never heard anybody knock or any conversation whatsoever. Was I that out of it? I was never a heavy sleeper. Typically I was pretty aware of my surroundings. I learned to be that way after last time…

  Did that mean Nate got back into bed and purposely cuddled up behind me? Or did that happen after he fell back asleep? Part of me wanted to know, but another part of me was afraid I wouldn’t like the answer.

  “When I woke up we were…” I looked at him hoping he could fill in the blank. Based on the confused expression on his face, I’d say he didn’t know we were spooning this morning.

  “What?” he pressed.

  I took my key card and shook my head. “Nothing. Forget about it. I guess since they already left I should go pack up my things so we can leave. Can I still get a ride from you?”

  He gaped at me. “Of course. Why would I suddenly refuse to drive you back? We live in the same area.”

  Well after I practically tried molesting you last night…

  “Just asking,” I said too quietly, turning and walking down the hall.

  He caught up with me quickly, keeping pace even though I tried speeding up.

  “There’s something else,” he accused.

  “No there isn’t.”

  We reached my room and I tried getting in before he could, but he blocked the door from closing and walked past me. I held back rolling my eyes and played along, closing the door behind him. I ignored him as I made my way to the purse on my bed, where I kept some extra aspirin in case of emergencies.

  This morning was definitely an emergency.

  After downing two pills, I pulled a sundress out of my suitcase and headed toward the bathroom. I hoped the lack of a conversation would chase Nate away, but apparently I was stupid to assume.

  From the other side of the door, Nate asked, “What is going on that you aren’t telling me? You know that when I say I’ll do something, I do it. Why would I change my mind about driving you?”

  I stripped off my dress and slid on my new one. If Nate wanted to know what happened then maybe he should have stopped playing dumb. I was the one under slight control of alcohol last night. What was his excuse?

  I took my time getting out the knots in my hair, avoiding any conversation with Nate. It wasn’t fair that he acted so innocent. Did he really not have any recollection that he was feeling me up this morning? He had to have known something was going on, even in his subconscious.

  Unfortunately I had left my toothbrush in my suitcase, which was still in the bedroom, which meant that I’d have to see Nate anyway. It wasn’t like I could avoid him forever. He was my only ride home.

  I left the bathroom and headed straight toward my suitcase that rested at the end of the bed. Nate was sitting next to it, waving my toothbrush in the air. His lips were tipped up and the light in his grey eyes were bright, which meant he was clearly up to no good.

  I crossed my arms on my chest. “Hand it over, Evans.”

  His eyebrows quirked up. “So we’re dropping the last names are we, Summers? Now I know you’re pissed off, because you only call me Evans if shit hit the fan. What’d I do now?”

  “Nothing. Now give me my toothbrush.”

  “You’re cranky,” he accused. “So until you tell me why you’re cranky, I’m not giving your toothbrush back. So talk, because you really need to brush your teeth.”

  I sighed dramatically. “I’m tired,” I lied. “I want to brush my teeth, go home and take a nap. I’ve got to work tomorrow.”

  “That doesn’t explain why you thought I’d—”

  Mid-sentence, I launched at his hand and snatched my toothbrush away from him. He was caught off guard at first, but managed to get a hold of my arm and yank me down next to him. I landed on my back with him above me just like last night.

  Deja vu much?

  I held my breath as he searched my face. Every place his eyes reached on me, I could feel burn. I bit my bottom lip hard, which got his attention. His arms were stretched out on both sides of my head, and his body was hovering over mine. I craved contact, but when he peeled his eyes away from my lips, he moved away.

  “Last night…”

  I closed my eyes. “Don’t say anything.”

  “If that’s what’s bothering you…”

  “It’s not,” I snapped, pushing him away from me. I sat up and flattened out the wrinkles in my dress. I sighed and combed my fingers through my hair, ignoring the fact he was staring at me.

  It had become a gift of mine to know when people stared. Everybody used to say it was just paranoia, but I knew better. My head burned every time somebody looked my way, and with Nate it was almost all of the time.

  “Listen,” I told him finally. “I was just wondering if you still wanted to drive me back. I know that you usually have…company in the morning.” I cleared my throat uncomfo
rtably. “I know that Sarah was inclined to get your attention before you left.”

  I dared to look at him, to see that he wasn’t even looking back. His attention was directed at the floor, with his hands tightly balled together in his lap. Usually he had no problem when it came to girls wanting attention from him. So why did he look like somebody just told him his grandma died?

  Dumbfounded, he asked, “If I wanted Sarah, don’t you think I’d have her by now? I’m here with you. So no, Blair, I don’t plan on ditching you for some girl.”

  I muttered, “Well it wouldn’t be the first time…”

  He glared at me. “Don’t act like that,” he warned. “I don’t like it when you treat me like I’m some—”

  “Man whore?” I finished for him angrily.

  “Where is this coming from?” he snapped.

  “It’s the truth, isn’t it?” I returned. “You get around, Nate. Everybody knows it. Hell, that was your reputation since high school, right? Stop acting like you’re so damn innocent. At least own up to your actions for once in your life!”

  He got up abruptly and headed toward the door. He turned around and stared me down. His eyes were narrowed, and if looks could kill I know that I’d be dead by now.

  “You’re just jealous that I didn’t agree to sleep with you last night,” he informed me, opening the door and slamming it behind him.

  I was left staring at the white door by myself, because deep down I knew that Nate was right.

  2

  I draped a pair of pants over my arm and collected the keys to the dressing rooms. I hooked my pager on my jeans pocket and headed toward the clothing department, putting away the extra clothes that people left behind. Samantha was already organizing a few racks of clothing when I walked over.

  “So?” she pressed, bumping my shoulder. “Did you get sloppy drunk and bring out your sexy side like I suggested? I’d like to think that you listen to me once in a while.”