Everything that I’d been searching for to make peace with my past wasn’t about getting the apology that I needed. It was about learning the truth. That little puzzle piece I’d been compressing all of these years was what was making me insane as the days passed. Finally, I found my serendipity. My safe place.
And like I always thought, it was right next to Nate.
Epilogue
There was something beautiful about how the sun shined these days. Maybe I was too blinded by the dark rainclouds in my head to see the beauty of each day before. Clarity had a way of clearing out the clouds and adding in light to my life. I felt lighter—freer.
Getting eight hours of sleep every night was foreign to me, but I didn’t miss the nightmares. It turned out that it wasn’t an apology from my mother that I needed. It was the truth. As morbid as it was to learn what she’d tried doing to me, it put my brain to rest. All of the uneasy thoughts that circled my conscience at night disappeared. I guess the truth was the only cure I needed to keep my sanity.
“Look at her,” Ashley gushed. “She’s glowing!”
I blushed as Nate pulled me into his side. We were sitting on the couch in Aaron and Katie’s living room, being stared down by everybody.
Josh snorted. “That’s because she’s finally getting laid. Look at them. They can’t even keep their hands off each other.”
I threw a pillow at him, and he laughed.
“How many times, Blair?” he pressed.
“Oh, dear Lord,” Aaron groaned, standing up. “I’m getting coffee. I can’t stay here and listen to this conversation.”
Katie giggled. “Your sister is grown up, babe. Did you really think she was going to become a nun some day? Sex is totally normal.”
“Not when it’s my little sister,” he grumbled, walking out of the room.
I rolled my eyes.
Katie looked at me. “So…how is it?”
My jaw dropped. “Kate!”
“What? I want to know.”
“We have company.”
Ashley, Tara and Josh all stared at me.
Ashley said, “Well we’re waiting.”
I looked at Nate. “Are you going to help me?”
He smirked. “Why would I miss the chance to hear you tell them what a sex God I am?”
“Wow, egotistical much?” I mused.
He replied, “I seem to recall when you called me that during your brother’s wedding after one too many drinks. Among many, many other things.”
“What?” Katie gasped.
I groaned. “I forgot about that.”
“Well do tell,” Tara pressed.
I eyed her. “You too?”
Ashley smiled. “I brainwashed her.”
“Clearly,” I muttered.
Aaron walked back into the room. “Are you done talking about…things?”
“Sex things?” Josh asked. “Actually, she was just about to enlighten us. Care to join?”
The look Aaron gave Josh could kill.
“So,” Tara said casually. “Have you talked to Sam at all recently?”
I gave her a small smile for the subject change. I could always count on her to take pity on me when I needed it.
“No,” I admitted. “They won’t allow her visitors for right now. Last I knew her lawyer was trying to get her into a rehabilitation center rather than jail.”
Ashley looked doubtful. “But she wasn’t doing drugs was she? I mean isn’t rehab for people with addictions? There is no way she’ll get that option.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, Ash. I don’t think she was on drugs, but she did know a lot of people who were. It’s better than being charged for murder.”
Nate rubbed my arm. “Everything will work out if it’s supposed to,” he assured me.
“Will you ever see her if you can?” Josh asked.
I asked myself all of the time, and my lack of motivation told me that the answer was no.
“After everything that happened, I’m not sure.”
“That’s understandable,” Katie said.
“You shouldn’t see her,” Aaron told me firmly. “What has she done for you? She put you through so much shit, B. Why would you waste your time?”
“She saved my life, Aaron.”
“After she put you in danger.”
The room fell to silence.
Katie patted Aaron’s shoulder. “I think that you should let your sister choose what she wants to do.”
He sighed, and sat down. “Just be careful, B.”
Nate held my hand. “I won’t let anybody hurt her again, Aaron. You know that.”
Aaron shrugged.
Josh sighed. “I wish I had a Nate in my life. You wouldn’t be into sharing, would you, Blair?”
Nate snorted. “Even if she was, I wouldn’t be incredibly comfortable with that.”
Josh looked rejected. “I get it,” he replied. “My good looks are just too much for some people. I need a man who can handle all of this awesomeness.”
Tara smiled at him. “If I were a guy I would totally date you in all your awesome glory.”
Josh put his hand on his heart. “Finally, somebody who sees the true me.”
“You two are going to find somebody soon enough,” Katie promised them. “And believe me, it’ll happen when you least expect it.”
Aaron reached out for Katie’s hand.
“You know, I never did hear how you two met,” Ashley said, sitting back in her seat.
Katie’s face lit up. “That’s a story for another time,” she told her, biting her lip and looking at my brother.
There was no doubt that they were in love by the light that shone in her eyes. It was the kind of light I used to envy, but now I was lucky to have it too.
Hopefully, I always would.
Acknowledgments
There are so many people that I want to thank for this novel coming to life, but the most important person for me to thank is her. We didn’t know each other long before you told me your story, and let me write “Blair” into a world that I never pictured. While I always wanted to write a contemporary romance, I could never find the inspiration to make anything of my jumbled thoughts. You made this novel happen in ways I could never do without you, and the strength it took to go through the horrible things you did, and come out on the winning side, is amazing to me. I look up to you, even if we don’t talk often.
There are a few characters that I wrote into this story that are the emphasis of those who they are based on. “Aaron” could not be anymore like the type of overprotective brother my brother was to me. “Tara” is very similar to a friend and coworker. (You know who you are.) “Josh” was so fun to write, because I drew from every conversation I had with my cousin. Without the interesting experiences I had with these people, these characters would not shine in the light that they do in this story.
While this story has it’s non-fictional ties, like Blair’s background, it is primarily a fictional novel. While we all hope that we’ll meet our Nate Evans, unfortunately “Blair’s” experience with her real life Nate did not turn out like the story did. However, from the stories she told me—and boy did I love those stories—I’d say we nailed the characteristics in his representation. Out of all my other male leads, I’d say Nate was my favorite to write.
You’ll see Blair and Nate again in the next book A Hard Place to Breathe, which is Ashley’s story. There is still so much to tell with their characters, so naturally I want to keep them included. I plan on having that book out in April.
Quick shot out to my BETA readers for giving me feedback, as well as Tasha for reading the rough drafts and helping me find even the smallest mistakes. You all made this novel so polished! I’d say thank you to my cat Oliver for staying up late with me to work on making this the best it can be, but you mostly just sat on my face or computer and prevented me from actually finishing anything. Love you anyway!
Until next time, my friends!
About
the Author
Barbara C. Doyle grew up in a small town in Upstate New York, surrounded by a passion for writing, pizza, and cats.
Her journey started at the young age of fourteen, and grew as she persued a degree in English and Journalism throughout college. She believes that the written word is best used as a mode to escape into a different reality, thus the birth of her novels.
Her other passions include binge-watching Netflix, reading, and hanging out with her cat.
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