by Leslie Gould
As the pickup went by, Zane stepped out into the road—hoping to appear as if he were alone in case it wasn’t Jaalal—and started waving his arms.
“You’re going to get us all killed!” Grant hissed.
The pickup stopped and started coming back, in reverse.
Zane stopped waving. Even if it was Jaalal, it didn’t mean he’d come to help. Zane didn’t budge though until the pickup stopped. Then he walked up to the driver’s side.
The door swung open. “It is you,” Jaalal said. “I had a call. I’ve come to help. Hurry though, the insurgents are headed this way.”
Zane ran back to the others.
“I don’t know about this,” Sarge said, groggy but talking for the first time, which encouraged Zane.
“What other choice do we have?” Zane said. “We can’t spend the night out here.” He and Wade lifted Sarge again and started to stumble, but Jaalal was there to help them. Together they got Sarge spread out in the back of the pickup and as comfortable as they could.
“You sit up front,” Zane said to Anderson. “You too, Casey.”
She shook her head. “Go ahead, Grant.”
Zane climbed into the bed of the truck, after Casey and Wade were seated. Once they’d all hunkered down, Casey said to Zane, “Thanks for taking charge.”
“You could have done it,” Zane said.
Wade shook his head. “Grant won’t listen to Casey. If you hadn’t been here, he’d still be in the MRAP, dying from smoke inhalation. And the rest of us would be across the road in the trees.”
If he hadn’t been here, they’d all have probably been back at base.
They slept in the front room of Jaalal’s home, and the next morning a helicopter landed in the clearing outside of the village and took Sarge and Anderson back to base.
“I’ll drive the rest of you down,” Jaalal said.
Grant was against it, saying they should wait for transport. “Someone has to come recover the MRAP,” he said.
“It could be a couple of days, and we don’t have much as far as supplies,” Casey said. “I think we should take the ride.”
“Wade and I’ll ride gunner in the back,” Zane said. “Grant, you and Casey ride up front.”
Zane silently recited the Twenty-third Psalm on the bumpy ride down the mountain and prayed he wouldn’t have to shoot anyone, prayed they’d get there safely. Prayed Jaalal would get back home.
When they finally reached the base, it took some talking to get the MPs to allow Jaalal through the gate. “I can vouch for him,” Zane said. “I promise. He won’t leave my side. I’m just going to gas up his truck and then send him back up the mountain.”
By the time they reached the hospital, Sarge was already on his way to Bagram. “Will he be coming back?” Casey asked the doc, a new one from when Zane had been through the ER.
The doc shook his head. “I wouldn’t count on it.”
Zane turned toward Jaalal. “I’ll get you back to the gate. You should go home.”
Jaalal nodded.
“I’ll meet up with you at the mess hall,” Zane said to Casey.
Zane climbed into the cab of the pickup. Before he could ask Jaalal anything, the old man said, “I told you not to come back.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Zane said. “So what’s going on? Sarge was afraid you’d joined up with the Taliban.”
Jaalal shook his head. “Never. But the pressure is getting worse and worse.”
“I can try to get you out,” Zane said. “You and Aliah.”
He shook his head. “We’re too old to start over. I would have asked for Benham . . .”
“I’m sorry,” Zane said.
“I know you are,” Jaalal answered, starting his pickup. “But he brought it on himself. There was nothing else you could do.”
Zane swallowed hard. “Still, I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” Jaalal said again, looking straight ahead.
“For all of it. For what war has done to your country. For the decisions ahead for you. For your son’s death and Benham’s.”
“We have never known peace, not in my lifetime,” Jaalal said. “First the Russians. Then the Taliban. Now this. For a time I hoped, but I’m afraid we are doomed to violence.”
Zane didn’t respond.
“Go back home as soon as you can. Marry that girl, that . . . What do you call them?”
“Amish.”
“Yes, marry that beautiful Amish girl. Have a houseful of children.” Jaalal looked at him for a moment. His eyes were rimmed with red. Then he turned onto the road and headed to the gate. “Remember me and Aliah, of all the things we wanted, of the things we had, of what we lost. But know we had each other, and that kept us going. We’ll be all right, in the end.”
“I’ll always remember you,” Zane said, digging in his pocket for his pen and little notebook. He took them out and scribbled his e-mail address on a scrap of paper and then his parents’ address. “Get a phone with access to the Internet,” he said. “And e-mail me. Or write a letter. If you need anything . . . I’ll do everything I can to help you.”
Jaalal stuck out his hand, and after Zane put the paper on his palm, he made a fist. When they reached the gate, Zane climbed out of the cab and jogged around to Jaalal’s door. The man stood, and they hugged and Zane snapped a photo in his mind of the old Afghan man, his white tunic flowing.
“God go with you,” Jaalal said.
“And with you,” Zane answered.
He watched as the man climbed back in his pickup and drove away toward the cloud-covered mountains.
A week of hanging around base in the rain made everyone restless and cranky. Casey avoided Grant, and Zane tried his best, but it was hard when he roomed with him. A few times he worked out with Wade. The guy didn’t talk much, but he was easy to be around.
The other team stayed at base too. The rain and mud were making it hard for anyone to travel.
Grant was the first to see the new orders come through on his e-mail. He didn’t say anything, just started packing.
Zane finally got it out of him. “We’re going back to Texas,” he said, throwing a pair of socks into his bag.
Zane headed to the service center to check his e-mail and ran into the commander of their unit on the way.
“Come on,” the commander said. “I need to talk with you.”
Zane followed him across the compound. When they reached his office, Casey was already there, waiting for them. Zane nodded at her, and she returned the gesture.
“The teams are going back to Texas next week,” the commander said. “We can’t secure the area, and travel is nearly impossible. With the downsizing that’s going on, our work won’t be continued after we leave. It doesn’t make any sense to bring in new troops to replace those who have been injured for only six weeks.”
Casey’s face fell. Obviously she hadn’t heard.
“But you two aren’t going to Texas,” he added. “The USAID needs a Pashto translator and a project manager at the State Department in Maryland. I think it’s obvious who will be in each position. You’ll both report there.”
“Thank you, sir,” they said in unison.
As they walked in the rain to the mess hall, picking their way through the mud, Casey groaned. “We were the worst civil affairs team ever.”
“That’s not true.”
She shook her head. “We didn’t make a difference.”
“We can’t know, in the long run,” Zane said. “Besides, we did lots of good. Fewer kids burned in cooking fires. More girls in schools. More women with ideas to start a business. Better medical treatment. We can’t know what impact we made in the long run.”
She smiled a little. “Thanks,” she said.
“On the bright side, we’ll be home for Thanksgiving,” Zane said. It was only a month away.
“You will be,” Casey said.
“You can come with me,” Zane replied.
“What about Lila? Will s
he be all right with that?”
Zane nodded, sure she would once she knew the circumstances.
“What did Jaalal say to you?” Casey asked.
Zane raised his head. “That I should go home and marry that Amish girl.”
“It’s a shame, because you’re such a great soldier,” Casey said. “But that’s actually what I think you should do too.”
Had he figured out his peace, like Lila told him he needed to? He didn’t feel frantic the way he had for the last three years. “Be still, and know that I am God.” He’d see Lila at Thanksgiving. A little more time apart would do them both good, give them more time to sort things out and trust God with their future.
26
On the fourth Tuesday of November, Lila shivered as she drove the buggy back from Monika and Gideon’s as the sun set. A cold front was moving in, just in time for Daniel and Jenny’s wedding.
They’d finished the last of the cleaning and cooking. Lila would return early in the morning to help with breakfast and the final details before the morning wedding.
Monika, of course, had every detail seen to, but it would still take an army of workers to pull it off. It was the biggest wedding in the district that Lila could remember.
She hoped Shani, Joel, and Adam would attend. She’d had a short note, via Dat, from Zane two weeks ago telling her that he’d been transferred to Maryland, where he was doing translation work for a government organization, and that he’d contact her soon so they could talk.
Her prayers had been answered. He was all right and he’d returned from Afghanistan weeks earlier than expected. She hoped he’d come for the wedding too, but she hadn’t heard from him again. Shani said he would visit soon to collect his truck, she just didn’t know when.
If he wasn’t coming for Thanksgiving, then he surely wasn’t coming for Daniel’s wedding either. It made her wonder, for all of his talk about how important she and her siblings were to him, if he really meant it.
And then there was his love for her. Two months ago he was ready to marry. She wondered what he was feeling now. Perhaps he’d been frozen by fear again.
Several times she’d gone out to the barn at ten at night, hoping he’d call, but he hadn’t.
Zane may have changed his mind about her, but she still loved him.
She was trying to find her peace, but the last couple of weeks—not knowing, not hearing from Zane—had been hard.
Simon was coming home for the wedding and staying for Thanksgiving. But then he had to get back to Virginia. He was going somewhere in December, although he couldn’t say where, which sounded especially scary to Lila.
The first snowflake flew just as she turned off the highway down Juneberry Lane. She hoped the snowfall would be light and not keep guests away from the wedding. Lila sighed. God was in charge. They had to trust him with the details.
Ahead, Rose pulled clothes off the line. The snow was coming down harder now, and Trudy ran toward the barn. By the time Lila had the horse unhitched, Trudy approached, a kitten in her hand. “You have a message,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “Dat listened to it, and so did I.”
“Who from?” Lila asked, guessing it was someone from the Plain Buffet. Her manager probably forgot she couldn’t work the next day.
“Guess,” Trudy said, a hint of teasing in her voice.
Could it possibly be Zane? Lila hurried the horse along as Trudy ducked into the tack room. After Lila had the mare in her stall, rubbed, brushed, and fed, she headed toward the milking room. Dat worked alone. “Trudy said I have a message.”
“Could you help me?” Dat asked. “Rose said she had too much to do with finishing up the laundry and the cooking.”
“Sure . . .” Lila answered.
“Go ahead and listen to your message first, though,” Dat said without looking up.
She grabbed an apron off a hook as she headed for the office, pulling it over her head as she did, thankful she had a work dress on. She hit the button on the message machine as she leaned against Dat’s desk, anxious to hear Zane’s voice.
“Hi, Tim,” Zane said. “I hope this finds all of you well. I’d like to come for Daniel’s wedding, if that’s all right with you.” His voice sounded strong and untroubled. “I’d also like to bring a friend—one from the Army whose folks live in Hawaii, which means it’s too far to go for the holiday. If bringing a guest would be a problem, let me know.” Then he said, “Looking forward to seeing all of you tomorrow and Simon too. Bye for now.”
That was it.
The message hadn’t been for her at all. And he was bringing Casey to the wedding. Dat couldn’t have known the friend was a girl, not from what Zane said. But Lila was sure that’s who it was. No wonder he hadn’t called her. He used to refer to Lila as his “friend” too. Perhaps Zane was confused about friendship.
She inhaled deeply, composed herself, and then headed into the milking room, marching around to shovel feed into the troughs as Dat brought in the next cow.
“Well, then,” Dat said. “It sounds as if Zane will be here tomorrow too.”
She nodded but didn’t answer.
“Have you talked with him since he’s been back?”
She shook her head. “He just sent that one note.”
Dat gave her a sad look.
She shrugged.
“Ach,” Dat said. “That last night we saw him I felt he might consider joining us.”
Lila had thought so too. They’d said they’d talk everything through once he was back, but it seemed something had happened in the short time he was in Afghanistan.
A wave of loneliness swept over her and then settled as an ache in her chest. If only she could make herself stop loving Zane.
“Well, keep your chin up,” Dat said. “Life will work out one way or the other.”
“Dat,” Lila said, “how is that helpful?”
He frowned. “I overheard Beth say that to Rose.”
“Not about her future, surely,” Lila muttered. It was more likely about some household task.
Dat shrugged. “Sorry.”
Lila kept on shoveling feed. The cow snorted. At least it was warmer in the barn. And with the wedding, for the time being, she had something to distract her thoughts.
Snow had fallen all night long, but it was light and fluffy, and even though it was still dark, the plows were out well before Lila, Rose, Trudy, and Dat headed over to Monika’s. Dat held the reins, and Rose sat up front with him, while Lila and Trudy sat in the back seat.
Simon hadn’t arrived the night before, as planned, but he had left a message on the machine that he’d make it for the wedding. Lila thought it would be nice if he made it in time to help set up for the wedding, but she wouldn’t count on it. He’d probably spent the evening before with Mandy and then crashed somewhere.
When they arrived at Monika’s, the girls piled out of the buggy and Dat kept going to the barn. A lantern hung on the front porch and from under the edges of the dim light, Daniel waved and then got back to shoveling the snow from the front steps. Someone else shoveled the front walk. It wasn’t Reuben. Lila squinted and then called out, “Simon! Is that you?”
“Jah!” he called back and started toward them, raising the shovel in his hand in greeting.
Trudy squealed and ran toward him, followed by Rose. A shiver shot down Lila’s spine and tears filled her eyes. They’d all be together one last time. She followed her sisters and when it was her turn, she gave Simon a hug.
“Still mad at me?” he whispered into her ear.
“Always,” she said.
“I figured,” he teased.
She pulled away from him. “Did you see Mandy last night?”
He shook his head and glanced at Trudy. She was bounding toward Daniel, followed by Rose.
“What’s going on?” Lila asked.
“We broke up.” Simon shrugged. “She had second thoughts about leaving the Mennonites. . . . I don’t know what’s ahead for me. It was all too muc
h for both of us.”
“Can you say now where they’re sending you?” Lila asked.
He shrugged and then grinned. “Zane’s coming,” he said.
“So I heard,” Lila answered.
“You don’t sound like you’re happy about it.”
It was her turn to shrug. “He’s bringing his friend.”
Simon stepped back to the sidewalk. “Casey, right?”
“Jah,” Lila answered and quickly changed the subject. “So where did you stay last night?”
He nodded to the right, toward the Dawdi Haus. “With Daniel.”
Lila’s heart melted a little. Daniel had moved in the week before to prepare it for him and Jenny. It was sweet that Simon had wanted to hang out with Daniel the night before the wedding.
She gave Simon a pat on the shoulder and followed her sisters into the house. Monika already had breakfast made, thanks to the help of her older daughters. They and their families had all spent the night, making for a full house. Children in their nightclothes scurried around while their mothers chased them. Lila guessed the men were out finishing up the chores or putting the last-minute touches on the shed where the service would be held.
Beth soon arrived, much to Lila’s relief, and together the women worked to serve breakfast and then finish all that needed to be done to host the wedding.
By eight thirty, everything and everyone was in order. Lila and Jenny waited together in the front room, glancing out the curtains from time to time. Mammi and Dawdi arrived in their car, and Lila watched as they made their way to the shed. Mammi appeared strong.
Lila didn’t see the Becks’ van arrive. Perhaps Zane and Casey had been delayed, preventing the whole family from coming.
Gideon and Daniel entered the living room, along with the ministers. The older men would instruct the bride and groom while the congregation sang the first songs during the service. Lila excused herself, grabbed her coat by the back door, and headed down to the shed. She’d sit by Jenny once she arrived, but she’d wait to walk down with her. She slipped in the door, on the women’s side, and scanned the crowd. Dawdi sat close to the front, in a row with a group of older men that he’d known since he was a boy. About midway sat Joel, Charlie, Adam, and Zane.