“I swear…I’ll break your fucking neck!” I yelled. “Now, be still and shut up!”
She calmed herself and I teased her with my dick. I placed my fingers inside of her and the bitch had the nerve to get wet.
“You like this, don’t you?” I whispered. “You know damn well that you want my dick inside of you.” She moved her head from side to side. “Yes, you do. I see you’re still a good liar. But, I couldn’t help it baby. You see, I had to get one last feel of this good powerful ass pussy before it goes to waste. By all means, this the pussy that fucked my whole life up. Now, I couldn’t let it go without saying goodbye, could I?”
Candi started to cry harder. And the harder she cried, the more I teased her with my fingers.
“Do you remember how we use to come together?” She didn’t respond. “Well, I do. Unfortunately, I can’t come with you today, but I want you to come by yourself.” She moved her head from side to side again. “Come on, baby. I need your cooperation. And the longer you take, the more painful this is going to get. So, give me what you got. I don’t want no fake shit either.”
I removed my hand from Candi’s mouth and placed my finger on her clitoris. After giving it several strokes, I opened her wider with my other hand and rubbed gently against her walls. She dropped her face into the pillow and squirmed around to stop me.
“Now, that’s what the fuck I’m talking about,” I yelled as I felt her body jerk.
“Kiley, please,” she sobbed. Her lips quivered as she spoke and tried to turn around. I wouldn’t let her. “Don’t do this to me, please! I said that I was sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am and I never ever meant to hurt you! For God’s Sake I have nightmares about what I did to you.”
I backed up and smacked Candi hard on her ass. “Now, that’s ironic. I still have my nightmares too. I ain’t gon tell you about mine because you might not like them.”
Ready to wrap this up, I stood up and zipped my pants. She quickly turned around to look at me. “Please come to your senses. I will walk away from all of this, right now. I will leave St. Louis and you or Dominique will never see my face again. Kiley, I know you don’t want to do this to me. You know how I truly felt about you.”
I cracked my knuckles and smiled at her. “You’re right. And I remember how you felt about me. That’s why I’m not going to hurt you. I told you what I wanted. I couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye.”
She wiped her tears and dropped her face into her hands. I turned to walk away.
“Kiley, help me,” she pleaded. “Don’t let nobody hurt…”
I quickly turned. “Bitch! You want me to save you after you fucked me over the way you did? The day you walked your ass into my life is the day you fucked up! It’s evident you didn’t learn a lesson because you still out here using your skills to bring a nigga down. So, now, it’s time to pay up! I would have the pleasure of dropping you myself, but I don’t want your blood on my hands. After the night is over, I’m gonna wash them and never look back again.”
“Don’t. Please don’t!” She continued to yell as I made my way to the door. I opened it and Chris entered. He dropped an envelope in my hand and headed inside of the bedroom. I snatched his arm.
“Make sure you give her one for me,” I said. He nodded, and as he walked further into the room, I grabbed him again. “Naw, make that two.”
He grinned and I walked out. No sooner had I made it to the bottom stair, I heard the shots loudly ring out. One for Dominique and two for me.
FIGHTING MY FEELINGS
Chapter Seven
I’d kind of gone into hiding and stayed cooped up at home. The police had been lurking around, asking many questions about Candi’s disappearance. When Veronica came up missing, more hell broke loose. They’d even brought me in for questioning, but since there seemed to be no connection with me, they had to let me go. Even while I was there, they brought up Joe and Bo, but I pretended to be in complete shock, as if I didn’t know nothing.
Ginger knew something was up, but I refused to come clean about it. Especially since, I’d noticed some of my money in the suitcase missing. I didn’t trip because I’d already known I couldn’t trust the bitch. Now, all she had to do was ask for the money, but she had to be sneaky about the shit. Thing is, I had no problem giving it to her, but she was fucking herself up more and more when it came to me. If that wasn’t enough, my suspicions of her doing drugs became a reality when I found some cocaine in her dresser drawer the other day. It fucked me up, but I should have known something else kept her from being the mother I thought she should be to our son.
I was mad about the money, especially if she was using it for her habit. But for the time being, I didn’t trip. In the envelope Dominique’s partna Chris had given me, there was fifty thousand dollars. There was a note inside that instructed me to pick up another package, and when I did, he gave me an additional hundred thousand for keeping his ass out of jail. After that, we cut ties and I made it clear to him I didn’t want any type of connection between us. He agreed.
I’d briefly spoken to Quincy’s mother in LA and she said that his body was flown back to them. She asked if I would attend his funeral, but I declined. The way I last seen him was the way I wanted to remember him. I had a thing for dead bodies anyway and funerals just weren’t my cup of tea. Even though his mother never really liked me for moving her son to St. Louis, she told me she appreciated the love I had for Quincy and wished me well. That’s all I could ask for and I told her to tell Quincy I loved him.
I got bored with hanging around the house, so I went for a quick drive through St. Louis. I stopped to wash my ride and then I stopped at Al’s shop to holla at him about the car he’d gotten for Quincy. We made arrangements for him to sell it to someone else and split the profits. After finishing up my business with him, I headed back to Ginger’s place.
I saw Anna walking down the street, while carrying a few bags of groceries, so I pulled up next to her and blew the horn. She looked at me, turned her head and kept on walking. I lowered the window and drove slowly next to her.
“So, you can’t even say hello,” I said, trying to keep my eyes on the road. She ignored me. I continued to try and make conversation with her, but she wouldn’t say a word. By the time she reached her apartment, she went inside and closed the door. I parked my car and got out. I knocked on the door, but she wouldn’t answer.
“Open the door, Anna,” I said. The kids outside laughed at me as I must have looked like a desperate fool. “Please. These kids out here talking bad about me.” She still didn’t respond. I stopped knocking for a moment and then knocked again. “Would you please open the door?”
She cracked the door. “Go back to wherever you’ve been, Kiley. Just leave me alone.”
“Can I tell you where I’ve been? Just open the door.”
She closed the door and removed the chain. When I walked inside, she stood by the door with her arms folded. I leaned down to kiss her, but she put up her hand to stop me.
“Please don’t,” she said. “I’m sorry, but you don’t have it like that with me.”
Maybe I didn’t, but I still walked over to the couch and took a seat. I rubbed my hands together. “Look, I’m sorry for not calling or coming to see you. I’ve been kind of busy.”
She remained by the door. “That’s fine. I didn’t expect to hear from you anyway. You got what you wanted and so did I.”
“So, that’s all you wanted?”
She rolled her eyes and looked away. I got up and stood in front of her. “Again, is that all you wanted?”
She swallowed and got teary eyed on me. “I feel so used, Kiley. I hadn’t given myself to any man since I’d been raped and the only reason I did that was because I felt a connection with you. How dare you treat me like this and ignoring me at the game was cruel.”
I pulled her to me and held her in my arms. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to play you, Anna. Really, I wasn’t. I just had some other thin
gs to take care of and I didn’t want to involve you.”
She backed away, tugging at my heart with her pretty brown watery eyes. I placed my hand on her smooth and silky rosy red cheek. “Just go,” she said. “Please, just go.”
Without any delay, I reached for the door and opened it. I could see the hurt I’d caused and didn’t want to hang around to see anymore. I got in my car and left.
When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about Anna. Ginger and me ate dinner together, and afterwards, she left with a friend of hers to go to the Casino Queen. Desmon and Antonio were in the basement with the music blasted, so I went downstairs to see if they wouldn’t mind turning it down.
“Can I just take a little nap, please,” I said.
Desmon hesitated, but turned the music down a little. Since they were playing cards, I asked if I could join in. They claimed they were in the middle of a game and said I’d be an interference. So instead, I stayed downstairs and watched.
It started to get pretty late, and they were still at it. I’d dazed in and out as the thought of Anna was still heavy on my mind. Thinking, my eyes searched for Antonio’s keys. I saw them on Desmon’s bed and tried to make my way over to them. When I got busted with them in my hand, I came up with a good lie.
“Man, ain’t your car blocking mine in? I was gon make a run, so I need to move your car.”
Antonio nodded his head and I quickly went upstairs. I searched through his key ring and pulled off two keys that looked to be house keys. I walked outside and came back in, yelling downstairs.
“Antonio!”
He stood at the bottom step and I tossed the keys to him. “You cool! Desmon, I’ll holla at you later, au-ight!”
“Whatever,” he yelled back.
I went into the bedroom, taking the necklace I’d bought for Anna out of my shirt pocket and left. When I got to her place, there was a light on downstairs. The light to her bedroom, on the upper level was out.
I tried both keys. The first one wouldn’t turn the knob, but the other one surely did. I entered, closing the squeaky door behind me. The lower level was clear, so I made my way upstairs. The stairs creaked a bit, and when I got to the top stair, she called for Antonio. I walked to her bedroom door and opened it. She was lying down in the dark.
“It’s not Antonio, it’s me.”
“Who is me?” she quickly reached for the lamp, turning it on. “Kiley, how did you get in here?”
“You forgot to lock the door.”
“No I didn’t. I never forget to lock my doors.”
“I’m telling you that you did. Tonight, you forgot to lock it.”
She pulled her long hair away from her face. “Why are you here this late?”
I walked up to her bed and sat down. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. There’s so much I want to tell you, but I can’t tell you right now. Just be patient with me, au-ight?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. It was a big mistake having sex with you and it should have never happened.”
“You don’t believe that shit and neither do I.”
“Kiley, please go. I’m not prepared for the kind of relationship you want. You want to see me whenever you want to and I can’t allow that. I was upset for many days after you left, feeling so used. I waited for you to come see me again and you never did. And when I saw you at the game, it hurt so badly that you didn’t even have the decency to speak. You didn’t have to play me like you did.” Anna’s eyes watered again. “Like I said, just go. I don’t need this in my life.”
I rose up off her bed and stood up. “It’s something about you that I can’t seem to shake from my mind. This feeling I have I…I’m afraid of it.”
“It’s nothing. Trust me, it’s nothing you’re feeling. If you were, you wouldn’t have made this a one night stand.”
Maybe she was right. I placed my hands in my pockets and walked towards the door. I reached in my pocket for the necklace and tossed it to her. “During one of my moments with you on my mind, I got that for you. I can’t use it, so you might as well keep it.”
By the time I reached the second stair, Anna softly called my name. I turned around and headed back towards her room.
She held the necklace in her hand. “I don’t like to be hurt. I’ve hurt enough in my lifetime.”
“I’ve been hurt too. So, what are you saying,” I said, still standing in the doorway.
“It’s a bad feeling, isn’t it? Especially, when you meet somebody and you know there’s something there, but…”
I got loud. “Get to the point. What are you saying!”
She pulled the cover off of her and slightly opened her legs. She said something in Spanish that I couldn’t understand.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m down with that too.”
She laughed. “I hope you are, because I asked if you would lick between my legs like you did before? Will you show me again how to please you? And, will you hold me in your arms until I fall asleep?”
“Na, you didn’t just say all that in Spanish.”
She laughed again. “Yes, I did. Honestly, I did.”
I removed my clothes and kneeled on the bed. I made my way up to Anna until we were face to face. She held my face in her hands and I leaned forward to kiss her. I sucked in her top lip first and then went for the bottom lip. Our tongues floated in each other’s mouths, making a loud smacking sound.
“Umm, that was good,” I complimented. “If you only knew what I’m feeling.”
“Be sure to tell me later,” she whispered.
Anna scooted down and I lay on top of her. I took small pecks on her neck and made my way down to her breasts. After I worked those, I pecked her stomach and inched down between her legs. She trembled the same way she did the last time I licked her insides and she quickly came in my mouth. Wanting to be gentler than I was before, I parted her legs and slowly worked inside of her. She was still tight, but had opened up just enough for me not to hurt her as much. When I placed her legs on my shoulder, that’s when she pushed my hips back and wouldn’t move with me.
I looked at her. “If it hurts that much, I’ll stop.”
She didn’t say anything, so I dropped her legs. When I did, she started to move around on me again. I was anxious to continue on, and even though we had a few setbacks, we managed to work through it. Anna had gotten on top and rode me quite well. She even went down on me, and even though it wasn’t the best blow job I’d had, the feelings I had for her made it feel right.
We wrapped up our sex session and Anna lay in my arms asleep. I stayed up for awhile, thinking about us and dozed off shortly thereafter.
Around four in the morning, I moved my cramped neck around, and when I opened my eyes, Anna stared up at me. Feeling uncomfortable, I reached for the lamp and turned it on.
I cocked my head back. “What’s up? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“What’s the matter? Are you saying I can’t look at you?”
“Not when I’m asleep. Besides, it makes me think something’s up when you look at me like that.”
She smiled and rubbed my chest. “Well, nothing’s up. I was just admiring how handsome you are. Also, I was thinking about how I don’t really know who you are and I’ve taken to you so much.”
“I feel the same way about you. You mentioned being raped and I wish you would elaborate on that more.”
“I asked for information about you first.”
“I…I’m from LA. I just moved here with my sister a few months ago, I have a son, and currently I work as a mechanic not too far from here.”
“So, where does your sister live?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not important.”
“How about your son?”
“He still lives in LA,” I said, quickly thinking of more lies. “Now, that’s enough about me. Tell me about you. I know Antonio is your nephew, but—”
“But, aga
in, he’s like my son. My sister was murdered several years ago and since she took care of me too, Antonio and me continued to stay together.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Do they know who killed her?”
Anna was quiet and then responded. “They don’t know, but my family knows.”
“Then why hasn’t your family done anything about it?”
She moved around in my arms and then sat up. She looked at me and spoke softly. “Because my uncle, Ricky is the one who killed her. I’m only telling you this because I feel as if I can trust you, but he’s the one who did it.” She laid her head down on my chest. “He raped us for several years, and when my sister fought back, she paid for it.”
“That’s crazy. And you never said anything to anyone?”
“I told my mother, but she wanted to protect him. Protect the family from more hurt, she said. She told me if I didn’t tell anyone, that she’d make the abuse stop. After that, it did. That’s why when you and I…”
“You don’t have to explain. But, you don’t think about that when I’m having sex with you, do you?”
“No. All I think about is you being inside of me. How good you make me feel. How safe I feel in your arms. I’ve never felt that before. I was afraid to give myself to anyone, but I felt a new beginning the first time we got together. That’s why, when you didn’t call, I was so hurt. Maybe I’m wrong for feeling this way so soon, but I can’t help it.”
I kissed the back of her head. “No, you’re not wrong. That’s sort of like what I feel. I’ve been through a lot too, but now isn’t the time for me to get into it.” There was silence. “So, if you don’t mind me asking…what’s up with your nephew Antonio? I mean, he’s never here. Does he ever come home?”
“Yes. He’s real close with his best friend, though. Normally, Antonio spends the night at his place or at his girlfriend’s house. When you hear the phone ring one time in the middle of the night, that’s him calling to let me know he’s okay.”
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