But far from quiet in my head.
Pieces of the story floating around.
The connection between Uly and Hil. The guitar picks. The rings without diamonds in them. The music. Ash somehow tied into it… that line on his head… the scar from the accident that took his mother’s life… and that he knew about Gray…
And all three of Them had their eyes set on me.
When I got back to Jo’s, I didn’t see her, not that I was looking for her.
I ran to my room and got under the covers like I was little again, afraid of a thunderstorm.
And I refused to leave.
But there was one problem.
When I was kid, thunderstorms would always pass.
But now?
This storm… there was no getting out of it.
nineteen
I woke up in a sweaty panic, forgetting I was under the covers.
I looked at my phone and realized I was already late for the morning.
So I decided to just not go.
I sent a text to Jo’s cell (not the emergency one) that I wasn’t feeling good and I was skipping my day at BFH.
Of course she didn’t respond.
I crashed back down and pulled the covers over my head again.
I sent a text to Lizzy.
Not going today. Sorry
I rolled to my side and had just shut my eyes when my phone started to ring.
It was Lizzy calling me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Did you leave?” she yelled.
“What? No. Why?”
“If you seriously leave you better say goodbye to me.”
“To us,” Danica yelled.
“I didn’t leave. I’m in bed.”
“She’s in bed,” Lizzy said.
“Alone?” Danica asked.
“Alone?” Lizzy asked.
“I’m alone,” I said. “Really?”
“Hey, you’ve been messing with Them,” Lizzy said. “It’s only a matter of time before it happens.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t know about that.”
“Put her on speaker,” Danica said.
“Hey, Danica,” I said.
“Hey, bitch,” she yelled. “What’s wrong?”
“Just tired. That’s all. A lot going on at once.”
“That’s what happens when you juggle three douchebag assholes,” Danica said.
“Thanks for that,” I said.
“But at least they’re all hot,” Lizzy said.
“Yeah, that makes it all okay,” Danica said.
“I’m going to chill today. Figure some stuff out.”
“Are you really thinking about leaving?” Lizzy asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “This was basically a favor, you know? I don’t want to be in the way. And the more I ask questions about Them, the more answers I get…”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Danica asked.
“It sounds messed up, I know,” I said. “But it’s just… the more I find out…”
“Makes you want to run?” Lizzy asked.
“No,” Danica said. “It’s making her bedsheets wet.”
“What?” Lizzy asked.
“Yeah,” Danica said. “Belle’s got a great heart. And the closer she gets the more she’s going to fall.”
“You know I’m still on this call, right?” I asked.
“Oh shit,” Danica said. “I forgot… talk to you later, bitch.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Lizzy said.
“What?” I asked.
“Don’t leave.”
“That’s it?”
“What?” Lizzy asked. “I’m telling you… just don’t leave. But if you do… please tell us. So we can see you.”
“Okay. That I’ll do. Goodbye.”
Before hanging up, Danica said to Lizzy, “Don’t leave? That’s the best you can do to convince her to stay? You’re acting like when you see a hot guy and don’t know what to say…”
“I know what to say! Shut up, Danica!”
I ended the call and laughed.
Then I shut my eyes again.
I pictured that creepy guy reaching for me.
Hil coming to get him.
Ash rushing to save me.
I pictured Ash in a SUV…
“No,” I groaned.
I quickly threw the covers off my body and forced myself out of bed.
I was in the same clothes as the night before.
I wanted coffee. But the walk…
Oh wow, Belle. The walk? Really? You’re that lazy now?
I heard a soft knock on the door to the bedroom.
“Who is it?” I called out.
“It’s Brie… I work for Dr. Thornburn… I told you about the clothes…”
I opened the door. “Hey. Right.”
She had a tray balanced in her right hand. “Jo called me. Said you weren’t feeling well?”
“Oh. Right. I’m… yeah…”
“Figured I’d save you the trip,” Brie said.
“Wow. Thanks for that.”
Brie nodded and winked.
Like we had some kind of girl code or something.
I wasn’t going to complain.
I felt lazy and I curled up on the daybed and stared at the ocean and sipped coffee.
It was actually kind of perfect.
I smoked a cigarette and then got my notebook and started to write.
so it was just that one night
the one night
the forever kind of feeling night
but nothing ever came to be real
like the way you leave the air fighting
to hold you close
the smell that turns my heart upside down
your voice changes the months
you make up your own years
because you are the time
the time for a decision
I rolled my eyes and flipped the page.
Your eyes, they show me
Your mouth, your kiss, it leaves me
I just want it all
You say bad, it’s good
Your hands, they love, they destroy
I can’t look away
I shut the notebook and put my head against the window.
My eyes grew heavy again, even after drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette.
That’s when my phone rang again.
This time it was my mother calling.
“Mom?”
“Belle?” she asked, surprised.
“You called me…?”
“Why did you answer?”
“I’m taking the day off.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired. Need a break for a second here.”
“Oh. Okay.”
There was silence.
“Why did you call me? Are you okay?”
“I’m great,” she said. “I’m…”
“Hey, baby girl, are we leaving soon or what?”
My heart sank. She was with that guy. The one from the picture on Jo’s phone.
“I wanted to call and leave you a voicemail. Quick. Just to let you know I’m heading out of town for a night or two. But I still want you to come here. I made arrangements with Maryanne. She runs the apartment complex. She has a key for you. You get the place to yourself! That’s fun, right?”
“Where are you going, Mom?”
“Just away. With… a…” Mom laughed. Then she whispered, “I kind of met someone, Belle. And I like him.”
“Already?” I asked.
I shut my eyes.
Oh, Belle…
“Already?” Mom asked. “And who are you? I called… you know what? Get your ass home, Belle. Jo was supposed to help. But you’re already skipping. Look at this.”
“Mom… I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” she said. “Goodbye, Belle. I’m sorry I called. You can’t show one ounce of happiness?”
“What’s wrong,
Michelle? Who’s that on the phone?”
“I’m… Mom…”
“I’ll see you later then,” she said. “Just ask for Maryanne. She’ll make sure you get the key.”
The call ended.
I lowered my head.
I knew better than to say something like that to my mother.
But it just… it was the same thing. Over and over.
I threw my phone across the room to the bed.
I put my head to the window and stared out to the ocean.
Being alone was nice.
But crying alone fucking sucked.
* * *
I literally spent my entire day in my room. And anything I wanted was brought to me. I fell right into the rich girl trap and didn’t care for a second. Because I had no idea what was next. What to do. Where to go.
Just after dark, I went downstairs and found Jo sitting at the kitchen counter, much like she had done the night she came from the hospital after losing someone.
My heart jumped into my throat and I rushed to her side.
She looked at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked her.
“Martini,” she said to me. “I don’t drink them for bad news.”
“Okay… so you’re okay…”
“Are you?” she asked. Then she waved her right hand. “Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know. Or get involved. You weren’t where you were supposed to be today. I appreciate the text. And you talked to your mother. That part I am sorry about. I didn’t realize what she was up to.”
“I did,” I said. “I can call this day by day right now, Jo. I’m not sure what you plan to do about it.”
“Me? Do what? Break her up with the new guy?” Jo laughed. “Sure, Belle, let me just cancel my surgery for tomorrow to worry about your mother.”
I swallowed hard. “You know what, Jo? Fuck this place. It’s not real. This is all fake and made up shit. As long as you have money you can keep it that way.”
“So that’s how you feel?” Jo asked. “You can leave at any time, Belle. Your mother has a place for you, remember?”
“And you’re supposed to be her friend.”
Jo stood up. “I am her friend. I can’t live her life for her. Neither can you. But I’m there when she needs me. Of course this is going to blow up in her face. She knows it too. She doesn’t know how to help herself.”
“Then help me instead. Just me. Not her.”
“How so?”
My chin quivered. “Help me leave. So I can start over on my own.”
“Ah, right… give you money. Throw some cash at you, huh?”
“Not like that, Jo. You know enough about me, right? I’m not that kind of person. I’m not going to go fuck up my life.”
“But you’re not going to learn anything by having it all given to you either.”
“What’s the difference about what you’re doing now?”
Jo smiled. “Maybe you have a career in law.”
“Then I’ll go to law school.”
“You don’t want to go back there, do you? To your mother? But you don’t know how to face it and say it.”
“I don’t know what’s real anymore,” I said. “Between you, this place, BFH, my mother…”
“Find something normal then,” Jo said. “Tell you what. I’m going to give you an address to go check out. Park the car and go for a walk. Trust me on it. It’s a normal looking street. Not far from here. Go take a walk and clear your head. Ask yourself, Belle, what you really want. Me writing you a check won’t matter. Trust me.”
I needed to get out of the house.
So I didn’t argue.
I had my phone and my cigarettes.
And as I sat behind the wheel of the car, Jo sent a text that came through on the screen on the dashboard. The car automatically programmed the address into the GPS and I started to drive.
Focusing on the road for the drive kept my mind off everything else.
I parked where the car told me to park.
And Jo was right.
It was a normal looking street.
Houses that were big but not mansions. They were close enough to each other that the people were considered neighbors. Front yards. Some with fences. Some without.
I walked the sidewalk and picked out everything I could about each house. Telling myself it was good to observe. It would help my writing.
My writing.
That took me back to BFH. Because of Miss Whitaker. She wanted to help me. But she was tied to Uly. And Uly was tied to Hil and Ash. And they were Them. And they were supposed to fight or something with the Rulz.
It was all touching and the only way to get away was to escape.
Just answer it quick, Belle. No thinking. Tell the truth. Do you want to leave BFH?
I opened my mouth to answer the night when I heard the roar of an engine.
A second later came the screaming cry of tires.
I froze in place and watched as a large SUV spun around, the headlights shining right at me.
The doors opened.
A voice called me pretty Belle…
Another voice warned me of the Rulz…
I caught my breath in my throat and realized what this was.
It was the Rulz.
East vs. West.
I was stuck in the headlights, sort of hearing what they were saying. My right hand held my phone tight. I needed an opening to call for help.
The headlights dimmed after they got back into the SUV.
Then it began to creep forward, nice and slow.
One of the windows rolled down and someone blew me a kiss.
It all happened so fast.
Me just standing there on that quiet street… the place that was supposed to be peaceful and give me a chance to figure out what I wanted to do.
My hand shook with fear as I tried to text Uly.
I couldn’t type a normal message.
Somehow the word HELP was changed to JELLY.
Uly replied with a question mark.
So I called him.
“Hey, doll,” he said. “If you’re jelly, then am I the peanut butter?”
“Uly…”
“Oh, fuck,” he said, hearing my tone. “Belle. Are you okay?”
“No.”
twenty
I sat in the car and rocked back and forth for a few minutes as I waited. Uly told me not to move an inch. I gave him the address that Jo sent to me and he said he was on his way.
I didn’t feel safe at all.
My eyes scanned left to right so much and so fast I felt dizzy.
What if the Rulz came back? How did they know about me? How did they know my name? What did I have to do with this BFH fight thing? Huh? East vs. West meant nothing to me and now I was going to get stuck in it?
Headlights shined behind me and I dropped down in my seat.
I made sure I was hidden.
The headlights were gone but I didn’t trust it.
So I waited.
I felt like I was in a scary movie, waiting for the killer to smash through the windshield and kill me.
There was a knock on the driver’s window and I screamed.
When I looked, I saw Uly.
I hurried to open the door and I jumped out after him.
I was in his arms and he held me tight.
“Oh, fuck, doll… I’m so happy you’re okay.”
“I’m not okay, Uly,” I whispered.
I pushed away from him and he grabbed my hand. “I know, Belle. You’re far from okay. And you’re far from home too. Let me fix that. Before-”
I heard the rumble of a motorcycle engine.
I turned my head and saw the motorcycle and then I looked at Uly again.
“What is this?”
“I guess we’re not alone anymore, huh?” he asked.
Uly lit up a cigarette as I watched Hil park his motorcycle behind Uly’s car.
He threw his helmet and glasses to the seat and jogged
toward me.
His hands slid against my cheeks and I stumbled back but he kept me from falling.
His eyes were big and angry.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him.
“Can’t let anything bad happen to you, beauty,” Hil said. “Especially this shit.”
Hil turned his head and looked at Uly.
“What?” Uly growled.
“You know what,” Hil said. He let me go and went after Uly. “This is on you.”
Uly put his cigarette between his lips and put up his fists.
“Are you serious?” I yelled. “You two are going to fight? I’m leaving. For real this time.”
“No!” they both yelled at the same time.
“Why not?” I asked.
Hil ran a hand through his hair. “Because we’re not all together yet.”
* * *
Before I could ask what that meant, I saw another set of headlights. These ones were higher in the air, telling me it was a truck. That’s when I gasped, realizing it was Ash. He parked behind Hil’s motorcycle and jumped out of his truck. He walked toward me with force. Like a man about to attack. His face was like steel. His eyes not breaking away from mine.
“Ash,” I said.
He opened his arms at the last second and crashed into me.
He came at me so hard I lost my breath for a second. I threw my arms around him and he picked me up.
He squeezed me but not too tight.
“They won’t ever hurt you, angel,” he said. “I swear on my life.”
“Ash, let’s talk,” Hil called out.
“I love talking,” Uly said.
Ash looked back at Uly.
He walked me to Them.
And I stood there, in the middle of Them.
Then they broke apart.
Hil and Ash stood almost shoulder to shoulder.
Uly hung back near his car, still smoking.
“It was the Rulz?” Ash asked.
“That’s what they said,” I said. “I couldn’t see them really. They called me pretty Belle. Said to remember the Rulz. A couple other things but I was just… the SUV came up and turned and was pointed at me. I thought they were going to run me over. I was… shocked…”
“Those fucks,” Hil said.
“Then they went by slow,” I said. “Someone blew me a kiss. Backseat…”
“Kip,” Uly called out. “That’s his thing.”
NOT SO Innocent: a bay falls high novel Page 20