As I tossed the pellets into the water, the fish came rushing to eat.
Bright orange colors. White. Orange and white mixed.
It reminded me of Ash.
“I know what you’re thinking, beauty,” Hil said. “And you can ask him about that.”
I looked at Hil. “You can read my mind now?”
“No. But you’re smart. You saw Ash’s ink. And now you see these fish. And, yes, it’s connected.”
“You’re all just one big mystery,” I said. “Them… one surprise after another.”
“You’re the same to us.”
“But you don’t share.”
“Nope.”
“So what happens next then, Hil? With Uly and Ash feeling the way you do…”
“I’m the one alone with you though,” he said.
He moved toward me and I put my hand to his chest.
Just what I needed to feel - more muscle.
“I texted you first,” I said.
“Because you know what you want.”
“What I wanted was to ask you about your baseball career.”
Hil stepped back. “Oh yeah?”
“And you and Uly… your music. I heard it.”
Now that made Hil angry.
He grabbed the bag of food out of my hand.
He dumped it all into the water and then dropped the bag too.
“They can be killed from that!” I yelled.
“So what?”
I crouched down and reached into the water to get the bag.
I left it on the ground, which was better than in the water.
“So you turn into a big baby now?” I asked.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I talked to Ryan.”
“He can’t talk right now.”
“He could still write.”
“Only until I break his hands,” Hil said.
“Too late, Hil. I know about you. You were the best baseball player in the state. And you were sort of famous with Uly in a band.”
“That’s what you came here for? To ask these questions?”
“I’m deciding what I want to do next.”
“Is that right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t have to be here, Hil. Not here. Not at BFH. I can leave right now and never come back.”
“So you want me to convince you?” He laughed. “I can convince you in a minute flat, beauty. But not with the story of my past. I’d rather keep it present… with my tongue…”
“Nice try,” I said.
“So then let’s make this fair. A story for a kiss.”
“Oh yeah? You’re playing that game with me again?”
“It worked before. You got jealous, remember? I kicked that girl out of the room and came to see you.”
My face was flushed but I was going to hold my ground.
“Fine. A story for a kiss.”
“Fine,” Hil said. “I played baseball. Yeah. I was the best player in the state. Yeah. Now come here…”
His hands slid to my lower back and he pulled me toward him.
I moved to my toes and my lips were an inch from his.
“I want more,” I said.
“Me too, Belle.”
“Story… I want more of the story…”
“Ah, right,” Hil said. “Fine. I got hurt. Okay? Fucked up my shoulder and stuff. Couldn’t play the way I wanted to. So instead of holding on to something that wasn’t going to work, I walked away. It wasn’t easy to do but I had to do it.”
“That was it?”
“That was it,” Hil said. “Now… where were we…”
He brushed his lips to mine.
My knees started to shake.
He moved his lips against mine, back and forth… two times… three times…
I finally couldn’t help myself as I kissed him.
Which was what he wanted me to do.
He wanted me to kiss him first.
My cheeks burned as hot as other parts, but I didn’t care.
I craved him kissing me.
And he did.
He kissed me back.
Taking full control. And if the way his mouth and tongue knew how to pull me into temptation, then his hands… they moved with stealth like speed. Knowing where to touch and how to touch…
From my cheeks down to my neck. Down to my chest. His fingertips grazing over my hoodie and going down. Those same fingertips cutting under my hoodie, for a split second touching my stomach, making me flutter, then hooking around the front of my jeans.
I broke the kiss and looked down to make sure this was real.
It was all real.
“That’s more than a kiss,” I whispered. “You better have one hell of a story, Hil…”
I forced myself to look into his eyes.
His wild, gray eyes.
“Why does it matter so much, beauty? So I played baseball and then quit. So I jammed out a little and then quit. All that matters is right now. My eyes on you. My hands on you. The taste of that not so innocent tongue lingering in my mouth.”
I needed to get away from Hil.
Or else I was going to end up in a lot of trouble.
I stepped back but not far.
“Nothing makes sense at all,” I said. “Why are you the way you are? Why are you so worried about me? Why you had to get involved with the Ryan situation? None of it is your business.”
“That’s true,” Hil said. “Unless, of course, you want to be taken care of the right way. Uly wanted a war… and just as it’s about to begin here comes this beautiful girl, walking right across the battlefield, without a fucking idea of what’s happening. Maybe I’m soft, Belle.” Hil looked at his hand. His knuckles were scarred over from hitting Ryan. “Maybe I should have done more to Ryan’s jaw. Or face. Maybe…”
“No more,” I said. “I can’t take anymore.”
“Told you this was going to happen, Hil.”
My back stiffened and I slowly turned.
Ash was walking toward me.
* * *
“Get the hell out of here, Ash,” Hil said.
“Not going to happen,” Ash said. “My house too… brother.”
“I’m the one leaving,” I said. “I’ve seen enough and heard enough. Whatever game you three want to play, find someone else. Figure out your own shit.”
Before I could take three steps, Hil was right behind me.
And Ash was right in front of me.
Sandwiched between Them.
Well, most of Them.
Ash was gorgeous as always. Still the same clean cut guy with that vicious, amber eyed stare. The smell of his cologne so intoxicating and smooth yet rough and addicting. I felt my nose twitching, almost like my sense of smell wanted to try and convince my sense of taste…
Then there was the smell of Hil colliding with Ash’s smell.
I had never cared about the smell of guys before.
Sure, there were some colognes or body sprays that were nice. Or whatever soap, shampoo, and laundry soap they used… right? But this…
Ohmygod, Belle, you’re getting all worked up over smells.
“Where are you running to?” Hil whispered.
“Home,” I said as I stared at Ash.
“He’s got you worried, angel,” Ash said.
“I’m not worried about anything,” I said.
“She’s lying,” Hil said. “She’s asking a lot of questions. Worried about the old band. Worried about me playing baseball.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Ash said. “You fucked up your shoulder, Hil. Everyone knows that.”
I shook my head. “That’s bullshit. There’s more to it.”
“Just like you,” Ash said. “There’s so much more to you. The world is much smaller than you think.”
“So what do you know about me, Ash?” I asked.
“Yeah, Ash, what do you know?” Hil asked.
Ash moved his eyes to his stepbrother.
“Walk away, Hil. It’s not going to work the way you think. You know what you’re better off with.”
“And you think you can keep Belle happy?” Hil asked. “Protected? When the Rulz decide to push back at us because of Uly… then what?”
“Belle will be fine with me,” Ash said. “We already know that. Right, angel?”
Ash touched my hand. His left hand to my right hand. Fingers interlocking tight.
I sucked in a breath.
I had no idea what to say.
“But she knows when it comes to vicious things… I’m the one,” Hil said. “Right, beauty?”
Hil’s left hand touched my left hand. His big, strong hand engulfing my hand.
I had never been in a position like this before. Two insanely hot guys who just so happened to be stepbrothers, both saying they wanted me. Holding hands with them at the same time. My face burning hot as I thought about when I kissed both.
And then the lingering thoughts of Uly…
“She’s seen what I did to Ryan,” Hil said. “That’s just the tip of what I’m capable of.”
“Your words are so smooth, Hil,” Ash said.
“And everything else is so rough,” Hil whispered and then he kissed the top of my head.
I saw Ash’s lip curl.
I guess you don’t like to share either, huh?
I sucked in another breath.
What the hell was I thinking? Sharing? I didn’t even know what that meant.
“I already said I’m leaving,” I said. “I’m leaving BFH. I don’t belong here. You two can find someone else. And so can Uly. And everything goes back to normal.”
“That can never happen, angel,” Ash said.
I ripped my hands from both Ash and Hil.
I moved to the side, leaving the stepbrothers to face each other.
I put up both middle fingers. “Take your mystery and secrets and fuck yourselves with them. How’s that sound?”
“Says the one asking all the questions,” Hil said.
“I thought I could figure this out, but I was wrong,” I said.
Ash just stared at me.
Those fucking arms of his… the way his t-shirt hugged them so tight. The ink. The colors. And Hil hinting that the koi pond and Ash’s tattoos were connected…
I suddenly felt like my mother.
Desperate to be near Them… but why? So I could ignore my own life? My own problems? Like I wanted to find flaws in these perfect, sexy rich guys so I could point at them and yell HA! just to prove we weren’t all that different.
I walked away and then started to run.
I was surprised they didn’t follow me.
I fully expected one or both to grab me and convince me to stay.
But they let me go.
Of course I felt disappointed and of course I hated myself for it. I reminded myself of what Jo said to do. Take five minutes and…
A hand grabbed my shoulder. “You need to help me because they won’t.”
I turned, thinking it was Uly.
It had to be Uly, right?
It wasn’t Uly… or Hil… or Ash…
* * *
I screamed.
It was the only choice.
Some guy had his hand on my shoulder.
He was taller than me with really short hair, a weird hairline, and his face looked like he was saggy, wanting to get away from the rest of his body or something.
I knocked his hand off my shoulder and stumbled back toward my car.
I was so close but… not really.
The guy’s clothes were oversized and dirty.
He walked funny too. Almost like a cliché zombie in a scary movie that wasn’t scary at all. Except this was scary. This was really scary.
“Hil!” I screamed. “Ash! Help!”
“No, no, no, they won’t do that,” the guy said. “But you can help me. Come here…”
His hands reached for me.
His fingers were dirty, half of them crooked.
When he smiled, his teeth had the same appeal as his fingers.
My only choice was to fight back.
I had dealt with creepy guys before in my life.
I just never expected this here.
I stopped trying to get away and planted my feet to the ground.
I told my brain to tell my right foot to kick. As hard as I possibly could. If I hit the right spot that would give me enough time to get into my car and get the hell out of there.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Hil’s voice yelled.
A sense of relief went through me and I had no energy to kick the strange guy in the balls.
Hil ran toward the guy as Ash ran toward me.
I reached for him and his hands slid around the side of my body as I collapsed into him.
“You’re okay, angel,” Ash said.
His left hand was at my back and his right hand was very close to my chest. But he wasn’t doing that on purpose.
Ash turned and blocked me from view.
“Are you fucking stupid?” Hil yelled. “Stumbling up here like this? You piece of shit.”
I heard the sounds of Hil hitting the guy.
Each hit made my stomach feel sick.
“Get him out of here, Hil,” Ash ordered. “Now. Handle it somewhere else. Put him in the street and call someone. Belle is scared shitless.”
I’m not scared…
I moved my head away from Ash’s chest and watched as Hil had the guy by the collar of his shirt, dragging him. Like literally dragging him along the ground.
“Don’t watch it,” Ash said. “Look at me.”
I looked at Ash.
His hands touched my waist.
He picked me up with ease and walked me to my car.
He sat me on the hood of the car and put his hands flat to the car and was just a few inches away.
“What was that?” I asked.
“A bum,” Ash said. “Loser. Happens once in a while. Probably because there are so many houses here. I know they try to keep the lights on for each one to make it look like there’s someone there. Our fault for having the gate open.”
“Because of me.”
“Nothing we can’t handle, angel,” Ash said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“That guy grabbed me, Ash. You’re all too rich for that kind of thing.”
Ash laughed. “Really? So money does… what? Keeps you from sadness? Tragedy? Hurt? Pain? What?”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I just…”
“A guy like that is looking for a few bucks,” Ash said. “Probably smart to do it around here. Since we all have a few bucks. Except now he’s going to get his ass kicked by Hil and then picked up and taken away. Oh well. Not your problem.”
“Well, what is my problem then, Ash?”
“This feeling that you want to leave,” he said. “You can’t leave.”
“That’s my decision to make,” I said. “See? I think I own you now, Ash. I own Them.”
“Is that why you want to know so much about us?”
“I already know enough,” I said. “I know why you and Hil are stepbrothers. And I’m sorry about… you know.”
“What?” Ash asked, challenging me.
“Your mother. That must have been hard.”
Ash grinned but not a happy grin. He lowered his head and turned it a little.
I saw his hairline.
The way it looked…
“Yeah, that’s right,” he said. “Keep staring at it. Keep reminding me about it.”
“What are you talking about?”
Ash lifted his head.
Kiss me, Ash… please just kiss me…
I felt my right hand twitching, wanting to wipe away Hil’s kiss to make room for Ash’s kiss.
But Ash didn’t kiss me.
“I know almost everything, angel,” Ash whispered. “What he did to you. That one letter on your locker and everything it did.”
I swallowed hard. “How…”
“You don’t want to go back there. Or if you do, you want us with you. Or just me. I can take care of Gray for you, angel. Or I can just simply make you forget.”
Ash leaned in and skipped my lips.
He went for my neck.
My lips made an O shape but I had no breath.
His lips sliding against my skin as I shut my eyes.
I felt myself starting to fall back even more against the car. Like I wanted Ash to… have me… on the hood of the car.
Ash moved his lips to my ear.
“Don’t compare me to any of Them,” he whispered. “What my father and Hil’s mother decided was their own thing. I never forget who I am or where I came from though.”
“Which is…?”
“The SUV was hit by a drunk driver,” Ash whispered. “Came into our lane and my mother cut the wheel. But even that didn’t matter. We were hit head on and then we skidded to the edge of an embankment. All I remember was being thrown around really hard. And my head hurting really bad. My mother fought to get out of her seat and get to me. She grabbed a blanket from the back and told me to hold it to my head. The entire time I felt the SUV rocking forward and back. Forward and back. She told me to get out that she was going to get her keys. I was young enough to believe that lie. She knew only one of us could get out of the SUV safely. She chose me. And when I got out of the SUV… it fell down the embankment.”
Ash stopped talking.
I stared forward into the night.
When I blinked, it was to chase away the thought of tears.
“Fuck,” I managed to whisper.
“Fuck,” Ash said.
Ash moved away from the car and I slid off the hood and stood up.
He put a finger to his lips and nodded.
My mouth was dry.
My heart pounding.
“You can leave BFH, angel,” Ash said, “but I don’t think I could leave you. This is just getting started. And I’ll do anything to keep you close. You want to see the truth? It’s coming soon enough.”
“Ash…”
“I have to go find Hil and make sure he didn’t beat that guy to death.”
As Ash walked away, I got into my car.
I drove slowly as I left the property but I didn’t see anything.
No sign of Ash.
No sign of Hil.
No sign of that guy either.
It was quiet all around me on the drive back to Jo’s.
NOT SO Innocent: a bay falls high novel Page 19