by A. T Brennan
I found a parking spot down the block and met up with Levi out front.
“Hey, waiting long?” I asked as I gave him a big hug.
“Nah. Just got here.” He gave me an extra squeeze and looked me up and down after pulling away. “Shit, you look burnt out, babe.”
“You have no idea.” I rolled my eyes then grinned. “And you look perfect, as always.”
“Why thank you, love.” Levi gave me a coy grin and winked.
Levi was a beautiful man. He was about two inches taller than me, but even slighter. He wore his white blond hair long and a little floppy, but it always looked perfect, and he’d long ago mastered the art of the hair flip. Between his big brown eyes and pouty lips, Levi was the perfect twink, and he never lacked attention.
We’d been friends since my mom and I had moved to the area when I was eighteen, and after a few months of sexually charged innuendoes and dancing around our mutual attraction, we’d gone on a date.
That had been a disaster. The chemistry had disappeared the moment anything could have happened between us, and instead, we’d slipped into an easy friendship.
There’d been a few moments, usually when we were drunk and lonely, that we’d messed around, but it had never affected our friendship, and it hadn’t happened in over a year.
“So how did you hear about this place?” I asked as we made our way into the bar.
It was nice inside. Sort of a mix between an upscale pub and a sports bar. There were TV’s on the walls playing different stations, and the floor space was predominantly made up of seating. The one thing I didn’t see was any waiters or staff, outside of the two guys behind the bar.
“A client told me about it when I was talking about wanting a new place to hang out. I came here with some guys from work last week, and it was a good time.” He nodded to the tables on the other side of the room near the far wall. “Want to grab us a seat? You order at the bar, and then the kitchen brings out your order, and you go get it.”
“Sure.” I nodded and headed over to a table that was a little removed from any other patrons. Whenever Levi and I got together, we always ended up talking about dick, and while this might be a gay bar, I wanted some privacy.
As I watched Levi order our food and drinks, I took a moment to check out the bartenders. One of them was cute in a different sort of way. His long hair and strong body were a bit of a paradox, and I found myself intrigued with him until I saw the gold band on his finger.
The other bartender was much more my type with blond hair and built body, and he looked strangely familiar.
I shrugged it off as Levi made his way over to the table with two drinks in his hands. I was pretty sure I’d remember meeting a guy like him.
“Really? We come for wings, and you get a cocktail?” I laughed as he handed me my beer.
“I felt like something a little different. I’m assuming you drove here?”
“You assume correctly.”
“Then I’ll switch to beer when the food gets here.” He winked and took a sip of whatever orangey-pink drink was in his glass.
“You’re not working tomorrow?”
“Not until the afternoon.”
Levi was a hairstylist and worked at one of the more posh salons in the city. He was very in demand and pretty much made his own hours. It was something I envied about his choice of career.
“Then drink away, my friend. You know I’ll always be around to pour your ass into bed.”
“You’re the best.” Levi took another sip of his cocktail and grinned. “So, how have you been?”
“Fine. School, work... you know how it is.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the phone calls, but I stopped myself at the last second. There was nothing he could do to help me, and telling him would just worry him.
“Yes, yes, all of that sucks. What about this Alex guy?”
I blushed and looked into my beer. I knew the conversation would turn this way at some point, Levi moderated my shows, so he’d heard everything I’d ever said about him.
“You’ll tell a couple hundred strangers while you jerk your dick, but you won’t tell your best friend?”
“Shhhh.” I glanced around quickly. Thankfully, no one seemed to have overheard him.
“Tell me details, or I’m going to start yelling.”
“Fine.” I chugged down about a quarter of my beer and sighed. “His name is Zander.”
“Alex... Alexander. Xander. Makes sense.” He nodded.
“Everything I said online is true. He was awesome, amazing, really.”
“You like him?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you get his number?”
“Nope.”
“Give him yours?”
“No.”
“Kai—”
“It’s done. It was an awesome night, but it’s over. I have so many things going on right now it’s not worth it. Besides, just because I’m reliving that night over and over again, that doesn’t mean he’s thought twice about me. He might have taken a dozen guys home between now and me...”
“Okay. Topic change. We’re going to talk about something fun, and you’re not allowed to put yourself down. No work talk unless it’s gossip, no money talk unless it’s about a fab new purchase, and no school talk at all.”
“Deal.” I grinned and toyed with the edges of my glass. “Now, tell me about all the men in your life and don’t spare a single detail.”
“I never do.”
I listened as Levi told me about the guys he was crushing on, the ones who were crushing on him, but before he could get into the men he was trying to get with, our order was called up.
I went to pick up the platter of wings, very aware of the fact that the blond bartender was now blatantly staring at me.
“Do you know him from somewhere?” Levi asked as he looked between me and the bartender. “He’s giving you that look.”
“What look?”
“The one that says he’s seen you naked.”
“That’s a lot of people, all things considered.”
Levi burst out laughing, almost choking on his drink.
“Need another?” I offered when he’d stopped coughing.
“Oh yeah. Usual.”
“Be right back. And don’t eat all the sweet chili wings.”
“You know I only get them because you like them.” Levi tossed over his shoulder as I headed back to the bar.
Since the blond guy was still staring at me, I went over to the long-haired one to place my order.
“What can I get you?” he asked, a pleasant smile on his handsome face.
“Kai?”
My mouth dropped as I recognized the voice behind me. I turned, not daring to hope or trust that I’d been right.
I had been.
“Zander?”
There stood the man I’d been waxing poetic about online for the past two weeks. He looked just as good in a pair of jeans and a blue button-up as he did in his sheer and supertight clubwear, and a surge of lust and appreciation shot through me.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes raking over my body.
“My friend.” I nodded over to where Levi was sitting, staring at us with comically large eyes. “He suggested we come here tonight. What are you doing here?”
“I work here. I’m the manager.”
“Oh... well, cool. We both know where the other works.”
I cringed inwardly at how awkward and strange that sounded as I tried to keep my cool.
“Yeah. How have you been?”
“Good. Busy. You?”
“Same.”
Just then a movement to my left caught my eye, and I saw the blond bartender lean against the counter as he looked between us.
That’s where I’d seen him before. He’d been at the club with Zander that night.
I didn’t know what to say. A part of me had wondered what it would be like to see Zander again, had even fantasize
d about another night together, but now that he was in front of me, I was at a loss of what to say or do.
“Were you going to order something?” Zander asked after a pause.
“Oh, right.” I shook my head and glanced back at the long-haired bartender. He was looking between Zander and me with a confused look on his face, but when I caught his eye, he smiled and focused on me.
“Two draughts, whatever you have on tap,” I ordered distractedly as I pulled out my wallet.
The bartender nodded and quickly filled two glasses for me. As I started to pull out some cash, he shook his head.
“What?...” Had Levi opened a tab for us? It wouldn’t be the first time. He had a lot more disposable income than I did and never hesitated to help me out when we were together.
“It’s on the house,” Zander said behind me, his voice a lot closer than it had been before.
I shivered slightly as I turned. Sure enough, he was only a few steps away now.
“Thanks.”
Zander nodded and stepped even closer so he was right in front of me. Only inches separated us, and I had to ball my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching out to touch him.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked quietly, bending closer so only I could hear him.
“Depends on what time tonight. I have a bit of an early day tomorrow.”
The irrational part of my brain was yelling at me to say yes to anything, consequences be damned, but the responsible part was reminding me that I had a major test I needed to write at ten in the morning and couldn’t be out all night.
“We close at ten, so after we get all the closing stuff done. Around eleven, at the latest.”
“Then, I’m not doing anything tonight after I make sure my friend gets home safe,” I added quickly.
“Want to come back and meet me here around ten-thirty?”
“Sure.” I nodded.
“Great. I’ll see you, then.”
“Okay. Great.” I tried to stop the grin from spreading across my face and instead give him a small and slightly flirtatious smile, but I’m pretty sure I failed.
Zander looked me up and down again, his gray eyes darkening as he gently bit his lip, and my dick went from semi-hard to rock solid. Thank god, I was wearing skinnys, so no one would be able to notice the massive hard-on I was sporting.
I stepped back from him, needing to put a little distance between us so I could get my head to clear and watched as he turned and headed toward the back part of the bar. I couldn’t help letting my eyes rest on his ass and the perfect way his jeans clung to the full globes, and when he was out of sight, I turned back to the bartender.
“Um, thanks.” I blushed and picked up the drinks he slid closer to me, a knowing smile playing on his full lips.
“Enjoy.”
As I hurried back to Levi, my head was spinning.
Not only had I seen Zander again, but I’d also made plans to meet up with him.
“Care to let the rest of the class in on whatever the fuck that was?” Levi asked as I sat back down in my chair and handed him his beer.
“That was the guy from the club.”
“That was Zander? Holy shit. No wonder you’ve been hung up on him. Fuck, he’s hot.”
“Yeah.”
“And he works here?”
“He’s the manager, apparently.”
“Well, fuck me sideways. Wow.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “He asked to meet up tonight after he’s done work.”
“Tell me you said yes. If you said no because of some bullshit reasons about not having the time or—”
“I said yes,” I cut him off and looked at the wings in front of me. I hadn’t eaten much today, but I wasn’t hungry anymore.
Levi gave me a conspiratorial grin and picked up his beer.
“Someone’s in for a good night, and it’s not going to be me with a belly full of beer and wings.”
Chapter Seven
Zander
Kai was here, in my bar, and I’d asked him to meet me after work.
When Rhys had texted me to tell me to get my ass out of the office and come to the bar, my first thought was that there was some sort of emergency.
It was Sunday, and while we were never swamped on Sundays, the crowd was a little light tonight, so I’d been holed up in the office going over order logs and trying to find an error Evan had pointed out in the invoices. It was tedious and boring, but it had to be done.
I’d rushed out, thinking something was wrong, and there had stood Kai.
Even from behind, I’d instantly known it was him. He’d left his hair down and the silky strands shone under the bar lights. The black shirt and skinny jeans looked exactly like the ones he’d worn that night after he’d finished dancing, and they showed off every line and gentle curve of his body.
I’d been so shocked that I’d said his name before I could think of something to say after he turned around, and by the look on his face he’d been as surprised as I was.
There weren’t an abundance of gay bars around, but we were a little out of the way from downtown and attracted a different kind of crowd than most of the others. It’s not that I thought Kai was some sort of party animal who needed a high energy dance club if he was going to be hanging out with someone, but the fact that he and his friend had come here was a bit surprising.
As soon as he’d started speaking, and his baby blue eyes locked on mine, I’d forgotten all of the reasons I’d used to convince myself that seeing him again wasn’t a good idea. It was the reason why I’d refused to go to Chimera with Rhys last weekend, and why I’d done everything I could to try and forget about him and our night together.
Seeing him in front of me, hearing his slightly throaty voice again, had done something to my insides, and adrenaline had surged through my veins as my dick had hardened.
I wanted him.
No, that wasn’t exactly true.
I needed him.
My true intention when I’d asked if he was free later had been to see if he wanted to get together to hang out, maybe spend some real time together so we could get to know each other properly, but as soon as I’d started saying the words I’d chickened out and instead invited him to come back for a hookup.
He hadn’t seemed disappointed, he’d definitely looked eager at the idea, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
Sex with Kai had been amazing, the best I’d had since Kaden, but I didn’t do repeats. I wasn’t ready for more, but I couldn’t have walked away from Kai if I’d tried.
I sighed and tossed the pen I’d been chewing on aside.
I’d been staring at the pages in front of me for almost half an hour, and nothing was registering. I had no idea if I was looking at an invoice for wine or food, and I’d lost my place in the log book at least ten times already.
There was no way in hell I was going to be able to finish this tonight. I’d have to come in early tomorrow and get it done.
I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t want to leave the office because I knew I’d spend the entire time I was out on the floor trying not to stare at Kai, and I wasn’t sure I’d be all that helpful right now. I had about an hour before I had to go to the kitchens to see to the closing chores, but until then I had nothing mindless I could do.
Instead of finding some busy work, I sat back in the chair and let my mind wander. It was going to do it anyway; I might as well get comfortable while I killed time.
DING.
I jumped as my phone chimed. I’d been so deep in thought the world had melted away for a bit.
He’s gone.
I sighed as I read Rhys’s message and then stood. It was getting late, and I had stuff I needed to do, and with Kai gone, I didn’t have to worry about making a fool of myself.
“So.... who was that?” Blaze asked with a knowing grin as I came up to the bar.
“Someone I met a few weeks ago.” I picked up the glass of ice water Blaze passe
d me and nodded my thanks.
“Oh?” he asked innocently.
“The night of your party,” I elaborated carefully. I was pretty sure Rhys had told everyone I’d left with someone, I just didn’t know how much he’d told them.
“I see.” Blaze winked and picked up a rag so he could wipe down the counter. “He’s cute.”
“He is.”
“You want to tell me about him?”
I was about to say no but paused.
Blaze might be younger than me, but he was an old soul. He was also an incredible listener and had a way of getting people to work out their problems without giving advice or steering them in a particular direction.
He was a great guy, and I trusted him with my life.
“He was one of the dancers.”
“I thought so. He was great on stage.”
“He was amazing. After he was done, he sought me out. We ended up at my place.”
“How did you feel after?”
I appreciated how Blaze didn’t ask for any details or for me to talk about what Kai and I had shared, only how it had affected me.
“It fucked with my head, honestly.” I sighed and sat down on the stool in front of him. Rhys was a few paces away, respectfully keeping his distance, but I nodded him over. It might help having two perspectives.
“How so?”
“I’ve had these rules for so long. Every time I get with a guy, it’s the same. Then with Kai, it’s like I couldn’t even remember them. I let him... he broke down barriers I’ve had for years without even trying.”
“And by your exchange tonight I’m guessing you didn’t want to risk it happening again, so you didn’t get his info?” Blaze glanced at Rhys.
“Pretty much.” I nodded. “I’ve spent the past two weeks thinking about him, but I’m not sure I’m ready to face how he makes me feel.”
“That could be it. Or is it the fact that he makes you feel?” Rhys asked carefully.
“Both,” I admitted.
“Zander, neither of us can tell you what’s right for you, but I can tell you this.” Blaze looked at me, a kind smile on his lips. “It’s okay to be happy. I know it feels like you shouldn’t, but it is. If Kai makes you happy, then you should ask yourself if it’s worth exploring. Don’t punish yourself for something that was never your fault. Don’t push him away because you feel like you have to be alone. If you want to be alone, then awesome, but don’t keep doing this to yourself.”