We Are The Survivors

by Vanessa Marie

  The guns should be in the back. I run past the tool aisle then backtrack. The guns are right there to the right of the tool aisles. I jump over the counter. The ammo is all locked up in the glass case. Where is the key? Shining the light on the floor I see a shiny object on the floor, it’s the key. I pick it up and unlock the case. I leave the doors open and bend down to pick up the gun boxes. Shining the flash light at them.

  I’m not very knowledgeable about guns. My cousin is though thanks to his hunting experience with my uncle Kevin. I should have brought him with me, or anyone for that matter. I have made many mistakes today. Bad mistakes that have cost people their lives. However, I can’t be blamed for messing up now. I’ve had no sleep. My head is cloudy and my eyelids are being pushed down by an invisible force.

  I rub them. I need to focus. I take a box and open it. I take out an AK-47. I may not have hunting experience but I have war video game experience which tells me an AK-47 is a good place to start. Bullets. I don’t even know what I’m looking for.

  I feel like I’m trying to ace a test at school. A means we live; D means we die. A for amazing we’re alive; D for damn we’re dead.

  My hair is pulled and the gun and flashlight falls out of my hand. My back is slammed against the counter. I hear the growling. I try to reach for the gun but the zombie is pulling my hair hard. It hurts badly. I grab the zombie’s hand trying to free myself but my hair is tangled around his fingers. I put the tip of my shoe on the gun and slide it slowly to me. I get it next to my thigh and grab the gun with one hand. The zombie yanks my hair making me hit my hand against the counter. I lift the gun over my head and aim to hit the zombie hard once since I can’t aim. I hear a crunch and I rip my hair from the zombie’s grip.

  I stand up grabbing the flash light. I hold them both in my hand, shining light where the zombie was. The zombie pops up suddenly like in a horror movie and lunges towards me. His stomach over the counter, reaching with both hands for me. I bring the gun over my head ready to strike him. Dave comes up and slams the zombie’s head on the counter three times. The image of me hitting Fred flash through my mind each time the zombie’s head is banged on the counter. Finally, the zombie is hanging there limp. Blood is dripping off the counter. Dave steps on the counter over the body and jumps down.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I came here. It was my fault…,” he chimes in.

  “Forget it. We have a job to do. I’ll load you watch.”

  He takes the gun from me. I watch shining the light in front of me. Zombies are coming down the aisle. “They found us.”

  “One second.” He loads the gun and points it at the five zombies. He mows four of them down quickly. He taps on my shoulder and I turn around.

  He puts a pistol in my hand. “It’s loaded. You asked if you were going to have to learn to shoot. Yes. Pull the slide back and aim using the notch on top. To reload pull the slide back.”

  The zombie stumbles through the aisle coming toward us. I pull the slide back. I hear it click. I aim at the zombie’s head. I shoot missing the zombie and hitting a bag of dog food on the end of the shelf. The dog food spills out. I reload. I shoot. I hit his shoulder. He is almost at the counter. I reload, aim, shoot. He is two steps away from the counter. I reload and he lunges at me. I shoot him in the head.

  “Give me the gun. You suck,” Dave says.

  “Thanks.” I hand him the gun.

  “We need to make it back to the others. We shoot our way out. Find a new place.” He puts a lot of guns in the bag. He does it quickly. He jumps over the counter and I jump over. I hold the flashlight in my hand as I run. We get to the freezers and the zombies are still reaching for the others. Dave puts the gun bag down and takes a gun out. He starts shooting. The others are jumping off the end of the freezer. Xavier walks up to me.

  He puts his hands on my shoulders “Are you okay?” he asks.

  I nod. Dave is shooting. Half of the zombies are dead. It takes a few minutes for them all to be dead.

  Dave decides to find another place. He grabs the gun bag to put it in the car. We start walking towards the car. Me and Xavier get in the back.

  My bag is on the floor. Gavin and Sarah get in the middle seats. Alex sits in the back with us. Dave takes off. “Where are we going?” I ask. The question gets silence in response.

  Sarah turns around. “Mirabella Homes is a small community with houses. That would be a good place. My mom’s there.”

  “That’s where we’re going,” Dave says.

  I’ve never been afraid of the dark. Not even when I was little. The darkness scares me now. Not being able to see the zombies scares me. A whole lot of those things could sneak up on you. I gaze out the window. I don’t see any lights from the Strip. I don’t see any lights period. It takes twenty minutes to get there with Sarah giving Dave directions.

  The place is huge. It has gates that could keep the zombies out. The outside lights are off. It appears abandoned. Dave parks and steps out of the car. The gate is chained up with a pad lock. I hear him yell hello loudly. A man comes out of one of the homes and walks up to the gate.

  He is as tall as Dave. He has blonde hair like Dave’s too. He is wearing a white T-shirt with jeans. His shirt is dirty and ripped like he was dragged across the pavement.

  The two talk for a little. The man takes out the key and opens the gate. Dave gets in the car. He drives in the community, parking in front of the model home directly from the gate. I grab my bag then follow the others out. The man walks up to the house to the left of the model home. He beckons for us to come in. I walk beside Dave.

  “What’s his name?” I ask.

  “Oakland, he said this house has a generator. We can cook meals, have electricity,” he says.

  “You don’t talk much, do you?” I ask.

  “It’s just been a rough day that’s all. You don’t shoot much, do you?”

  “Very funny.” I smile.

  There is a horrible rotting stench in the air.

  Oakland holds the door open for us. The house is beautiful. When you walk in the door you are in the living room which has two couches on the left and right walls. There are pictures hung, in frames on the walls, of the family that lived here. The kitchen is to the far left with the dining room to the right. In between the dining table and the couch is a hallway on the right. The house is very modern with beautiful blue décor.

  I put my bag on the left side couch. The baseball bat falls on the hardwood floor making a metallic banging sound, Oh crap. Xavier bends down to pick it up. I just stand there. He picks it up and looks at it then me.

  “This is my bat,” he says.

  My heart beats faster. Why didn’t I just tell him? “Why do you think that?” I blurt out.

  He looks at it. “I don’t know maybe because it says ‘Happy Birthday Xavier!’ on it.” He turns it around.

  He’s right, it says that underneath the blood splatter in permanent marker. Everyone is staring. I want to explain. I can’t say anything. Words aren’t coming out. I’ve never seen him this angry before. When I think, he is going to use the bat on me he speaks.

  “What did you do?” he asks.

  I speak fast. “She showed up at my window this morning. She was covered in blood and asking for help. A zombie came up and she hit the window. They both came inside and the zombie ate her. I had to use the bat for something else so I took it. You asked me about your mom and I didn’t want to tell you because nobody should have to hear that their mom died in such a horrific way.”

  “So you were going to let me look for her and have hope that still she was alive.” He says angrily.

  I throw my hands up. “No. You don’t get it. I know how wrong it was to keep it a secret but it’s not easy telling people about their loved one dying. It kills you. I know how hard it is to understand that.”

  He stands up. “If you know what it’s like you should have told me. I liked you. You betrayed me, you don’t do that to someone you care about. I don’t thi
nk we should date and I don’t think we should be friends. Leave me alone.” He drops the bat and walks down the hall. I take a step to go after him.

  “Don’t do that,” Alex says.

  I turn around. “It wasn’t my fault I couldn’t do anything to help. He has to understand that.” I’m crying.

  “He won’t understand. His mom died. He’s angry and what he said doesn’t mean he means it. Give him time then talk to him. He’s angry at the world not you. You did all you could. You didn’t tell him for the right reason. Like you said you were in the same position. This might sound like a group of clichés but it’s the truth. Don’t freak, okay?” he says.

  “Okay.”

  I walk in the hall and into the first door on the left. It’s the bathroom. Where I wanted to go anyways. I turn on the light. I look in the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy. I turn the sink on and no water comes out. I look under the cabinet; I find water bottles. I pour the bottled water on a washcloth, which I also find under the cabinet.

  Xavier will probably hate me forever. There was a pro and con to the decision I made. I chose him not knowing and him looking for her replacing the pain of grief with the pain of not knowing over the grief he is feeling now. What Alex said is right he needs time but he also needs to understand why I kept his mother’s death from him.

  I come out of the hallway. Oakland and Dave are on one couch and Nya is on the other. The teens are sitting at the table. Sarah is staring off into space. I think it has something to do with her mentally, her being in shock. I think she is shattered by what life has been like today. Like the rest of us.

  She takes me by surprise when she turns to me.

  “Will you come with me to my house?” she asks. Her eyes look sad.

  I nod. Nobody protests. Sarah leads the way out. Gavin starts a conversation with Alex. I don’t listen to it. I shut the door behind me. Sarah stops at the house two doors down from the one we were just in. I smell the same rotting stench. I don’t know where it’s coming from. She takes a deep breath in and puts her hand on the door. I put my hand on her hand. I help her turn the knob. She can’t do this without me.

  The door creaks open all the way. It hits the wall next to it. Sarah steps in slowly. I step in after her. There are pictures on the wall of a woman with Sarah’s color hair holding a baby.

  I point to the photos on the walls. “Is that your mom?”

  “Yes.” She hugs herself. “Mom,” she calls.

  There is a bang that comes from the door to the left. Sarah jumps at the exact moment I do. She takes careful steps towards the door almost giving the impression that she will fall through the hardwood floor any moment so she has to walk lightly. She wraps her hand around the door knob. She pulls it open quickly wanting to get the bad or good part over quickly. I regret not having a weapon. Sarah’s mom is lying on her left side on the floor in front of the door.

  The woman has very pale skin and green eyes with purple specks in them. She growls and reaches for Sarah. Sarah falls in front of her but she didn’t let go of the handle. She starts hyperventilating. I run up to the door and slam it shut with my back. Sarah starts hyperventilating faster. I kneel in front of her, putting my hands are her shoulders. “Calm down please. I’m very, very, sorry about your mom. Slow down with your breathing before you have a heart attack please.” I inhale and exhale slowly with her trying to calm her down. She starts crying.

  I get her breathing slowed down. The zombie bangs on the door making Sarah jump. She starts hyperventilating again. I shake my head. “No. Come on. Like before. Breathe.” She inhales and exhales slowly. “I have to take care of this.”

  “No. You shouldn’t. You can’t.” She says.

  “I want to. Nobody could for my mom, not even me.” I get up and go into the kitchen. I find a steak knife in the silverware draw.

  I walk over to the door. “Go outside.” She listens to me. I open the door. I kneel on the floor next to the zombie. She tugs on my shirt. I put the knife in my right hand. I position the tip above her forehead. I look up at the ceiling. I put my arms above my head and strike with all the force I have. I feel the knife go through her skull and I hear a wet crunching noise. The hands that were holding on to my shirt loosen. Her arms fall to the floor with a light thud. I leave the knife there, in her head. I look at her dead body, her leg looks broken.

  I feel for Sarah and Xavier. I feel for all the kids who lost their parents today. That is something you never get over.

  Mom knew in her last seconds of her life that she made a mistake. Parents want to protect their kids at all costs and vice versa. She was sorry for making a mistake. She was paralyzed by fear and maybe disorientation. Maybe she didn’t get up because she knew I would make it. It doesn’t even matter now. I walk out of the house closing the door behind me meeting Sarah outside.

  When we get to the house Sarah announces she is going to make dinner. Without waiting for anyone to say something she gets to cooking. People grieve differently maybe cooking is her way of coping. I don’t pay attention to what she is cooking. My thoughts revolve around Xavier.

  Sitting at the table I look at the door to the room he is in. When Sarah is done cooking, chicken stir fry, she asks me to take it to Xavier. I hold the plate with one hand while knocking on the door with the other. He doesn’t answer. I put the plate and fork down by the door. I sit down at the table to try to eat my dinner. Xavier opens the door, picks up the plate and fork and shuts the door.

  That’s how it’s going to be now. He’s going to give me the silent treatment. I take a bite. I am feeling very pissed off. I slam my fork on the table. I stand up. I walk past the table.

  “Rain, don’t.” Alex says.

  “Shut up.”

  I knock on the door. “Open up damn it. I refuse to be treated like this. Being angry isn’t going to help. I tried to do the right thing. I apologize. Please forgive me.” The door doesn’t open. “Fine. I’m staying here until you open the door.” I sit with my back to the door. I do it because I love him. I want him to understand. He doesn’t have to love me anymore but I want him to understand me. I love him and I don’t want him hurting because of me. I hope Alex is right about time. It might heal his wounds. I wonder if time will heal mine.

  I sit there. Gavin comes up to me with my plate of food. I wave it off. He takes it back to the kitchen. Time drags on then it’s time to go to bed. I see Dave and Nya sleep on separate couches and they decide to let the kids have their own bedrooms. Oakland decides he is going to sleep in Sarah’s mom’s house. I lay down on the floor in front of the door. I’m not going to sleep anyway.

  CHAPTER FOUR-FOUR DAYS SINCE

  It’s been four days since the apocalypse happened.

  I haven’t even made peace with or excepted my mother’s death. I miss my parents more than anything ever. I miss seeing my mom cooking in the kitchen. I miss her voice and her how she was so sweet, caring and kind. She was the most wonderful person. I hope one day to be just like her.

  My father was a kind-hearted man too. My parents were inseparable despite that one awful day when they weren’t. I remember them being so happy with each other. They never even fought, which some friends of theirs’ found weird. They were that much in love. I wish I could be with them what we did every day. Without them I feel lost.

  There is a new routine now. There were some REM’s in the closet along with machetes. We eat, hang out and go to sleep. My routine is sitting by this door most of the time. I only get up to go to the bathroom or eat. I put his plate by the door, he only opens the door when I walk away to the table to eat. It annoys me a lot. Today is going to be different.

  Sarah gets started on breakfast in the kitchen before everyone gets up. She is wearing someone else’s pink pajama’s.

  I knock on the door twice with my back to it. “I think those two knocks woke you up. If they didn’t this will. I’m really sorry about your mom. I didn’t tell you because I know how it feels. My dad died in a car acc
ident on my birthday trying to get my cake. In a way, it’s my fault he’s gone. I never told you about my dad because it still haunts me today. I didn’t want you to feel like I do, helpless. It’s awful. I couldn’t do anything to help her because I was in shock. After your mom died my stepfather hit me and my mom over the head with your bat. He tried to kill us. I saw my mom die in front of me.” Sarah stops cooking to listen.

  “I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry. If you hate me then tell me to go away. If you love me tell me. I want to know how you feel about me now. If you hate me that’s okay I will leave you alone, if you love me and want to be together I will help you through this. I need you to tell me. I was thinking about the children in the world who lost their parents and are losing them the other day. We aren’t alone. You’re not alone. I really do love you. I did what I did out of love. Please, don’t blame me for doing what I thought was best.”

  I wait for a few seconds. Sarah walks up to the door. She looks at me.

  “She’s a good kid. She wouldn’t be sitting here if she didn’t care. I would at least give her an answer.” Sarah smiles at me. I mouth the words thank you. She goes back to cooking. I hear sizzling, the smell of bacon makes my stomach growl. “Breakfast smells good.” I fall backwards on the floor hitting my head. I see Xavier, upside down, holding the door open. His eyes are puffy and red.

  “You’re right. I acted like an ass, excuse my language, it’s the truth though. I couldn’t deal with it. I wasn’t angry at you; I was angry at the whole world. Whatever or whoever caused all this. You asked for an answer, I love you. I want to be with you. I forgive you, will you forgive me?”

  “Promise me you will never do this to me again and I’ll see if we can make it work.”

  He nods. “Come in. Let’s make it work.”