Fraternizing f-1

by C. C. Brown

  "You don't smoke, man."

  Before he could say anything else, I glared harshly at him, looking like I could viciously attack at any second. He reached in his pocket and pulled out his pack of smokes, patting it in his hand.

  I took it and the lighter that he was holding, then walked outside and lit it up. The feel of the burn as it hit my chest pained me, but I was wound so tightly I needed to finish it. I hoped that it would calm even the slightest part of me down.

  About halfway through the cigarette, Castillo came walking outside, a cigarette in her hand.

  "Mind my company?" she asked.

  I shook my head, taking a long drag of the cigarette before blowing out a mouthful of smoke.

  "Sorry to freak you out. I just know how much you hate groupies."

  "Thanks."

  We stood smoking in silence, the cars whizzing by on the pitch black Hwy 62 the only sound to be heard. When I finished, I felt sick. The mixture of too much alcohol and a cigarette had put me in a bad place. I felt like at any minute I could throw up, and if I didn’t get a quiet place to sit down, I was sure it would happen.

  "I'm going back in to get the keys from Riley. I need to chill out for a minute."

  "You don't need to go back in. I have my keys. You can chill out in my Jeep."

  She pulled the keys out of her pocket, dangling them before me as she smiled wickedly at me.

  The chance to lie down never sounded so good, so I followed her out to her Jeep and slowly sat down in the passenger seat before lying back and shutting my eyes. Castillo moved around to the driver's side, hopping in and letting the windows down.

  I began to drift when her voice woke me.

  "What's the deal, Alex?"

  "What do you mean?" I asked, my eyes still closed as the warm desert night air hit me.

  "You know what I mean. You and Bennett. Some people might be blind or oblivious, but I see it."

  That woke me up. My eyes shot open, and panic flared in my chest, but I couldn’t let her see any of it. I kept my head turned away from her, not willing to let her read my expression.

  "I don't know what you're talking about, Leti."

  She laughed.

  "Bullshit, Alex. I'm not fucking stupid." She paused, waiting for a response that I wouldn’t give.

  She leaned over, her moist lips on the tip of my ear.

  "I know there's something, but I also know I can do so much more." Her tongue reached out, lightly skimming me ear.

  The move did something to me. What it was, I couldn’t place. I turned my head, lazily looking at her through beer-goggled eyes.

  "Bennett seems like a nice girl. For someone else. You need these Latin hips and lips."

  Cassie's face came thrashing back in my head. The pain it brought with it was worse than the headache that had somehow filtered in. The joy of looking at her was overshadowed by the sting of her beautiful eyes staring into me. I needed to get rid of her quickly.

  Castillo turned in the seat and leaned toward me. She made quick work of my belt and pants, snaking her hands inside my boxer briefs. I inhaled, relishing the feel of a feminine hand on my dick. She stroked me, finally getting me hard and erect since her presence and touch alone wasn't enough to make it happen. If this was how I was going to get rid of Cassie, then so be it. Any chick would do the trick, and apparently I wasn't too picky about who it was.

  She lay down, placing her mouth on my cock, her moist walls clamping down like a tight suction cup. My eyes shut as I bit down on my bottom lip. I placed my hands in her hair, grabbing hold of it while she started slow and meticulous sucks, moving her head up and down. I lifted my hips, hoping to get more of her around me, even if almost all of me was halfway down her throat.

  She quickly switched to sloppy sucks, the sounds of her tongue lapping up my shaft barreling into my ears, annoying the fuck out of me.

  "Suck," I commanded, needing her to take all of my frustrations away.

  She obeyed, returning to the sucks that had left me speechless. I shoved my cock farther into her mouth, but the sound of her gag stopped me from going as far as I wanted to go. In that moment, Cassie came back to mind, and her impressive ability to deep throat without so much as the slightest gag.

  My conscience finally whacked me upside the head. I realized that as much as I wanted to rid myself of Cassie, it wasn't going to happen tonight, and it damn sure wasn't going to happen like this.

  I yanked on her hair, pulling her mouth off of me.

  "What?" she asked breathlessly.

  "I'm done."

  "No, we aren't."

  "Yes, I am," I growled, further pushing her head away.

  I put my shit back into my pants, opened the door and stepped out. I looked back at her and mumbled, "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

  She looked back at me, confusion and anger piercing through her eyes and filling her face.

  As I was standing and zipping up my pants, I caught Riley in the distance looking out to me. I didn't say another word to Castillo as I walked away, back in the direction of the bar.

  "What the fuck, man?" Riley asked. He looked like he was ready to beat my ass, and in my inebriated state, I was sure he could do it.

  "Don’t fucking start with me, Riley."

  He stepped in front of me and pushed me up against the wall. Anger hit me as I fought him off, but with my intoxication he was much too strong for me.

  "You're a fucking idiot, Alex. You fucked Bennett and fell for her. Okay, big fucking deal. Yes, the rules of the Corps make it very costly, but it is what it is. You've been a fucking prick ever since finding out about NCO of the Quarter and now this-- Castillo."

  I stood glaring at him while he spilled out everything for me in black and white.

  "You can't run from your feelings for her, and fucking anything with a pussy isn't going to get her out of your system. Wake the fuck up, man. She's into you, and she’s feeling the effects of your fucking stupidity."

  "You better shut your fucking mouth, Riley. You have no idea what you're talking about," I seethed. Pure malice was hidden under my words, but it was truly aimed at me. Riley was dead on, but I didn't want to admit it.

  "Who are you kidding? Do you not remember that I was the one you originally confided in? Figure it out with her, Alex, but not like this. Not like this, brother."

  I felt weak. I felt spent. I felt dirty and ashamed. Through fighting my allegiance to the Corps, my feelings for Cassie and my own guilt-ridden mind, I was spiraling out of control and hating every second of it.

  Riley walked me out to my truck and helped me into the passenger seat.

  "I'm letting the guys know you're sick, and I'm taking you home. I'll come back for them."

  "Don’t say that shit. I'm not sick."

  "Yes you are. Even if it's not physical."

  He shut the door and took off into the darkness, headed back for the bar entrance. Turning my head to the side, I watched Castillo fix herself as she walked back towards the bar. The thought of her hands and mouth on my dick sickened me all over again. I couldn’t stand the thought of what I had done and how stupidly I had tried to erase Cassie from my mind. She was embedded in me, and for better or for worse, I wanted and needed her.

  I thrust the door open, leaning my head out just in time as puke erupted from my mouth, crashing down on the gravel below. My body felt like it had been run over by a seven ton, and all of the aches and pains that accompanied it were well deserved. I couldn’t believe how senseless I had acted, and how low I had sunk. I didn't deserve Cassie, but I wanted her so badly.

  Chapter 16

  Cassie

  Friday was a nightmare.

  On the one hand, I was proud of Alex for his accomplishment, but also pissed at him for completely ignoring me. His words came creeping back into my head, how he had no intention of fucking and running. Well, the more I looked back at what had transpired between us, the more I believed that was precisely what he had done.

 
Alex was the model Marine, but he was also a shitty person, and sometimes the two went hand in hand. Thoughts of the things we had done, the loving and protective way that he'd come to my defense when confronted with potential issues...it hadn’t dawned on me that he was hiding his true self. Of course, I should have known better. I was now, that girl, and rather than cry about it, I wanted to kick my own ass for it.

  Angelica stayed in the room all night, making everything completely awkward. I had no drive to get out of my bed after the school day, so I stayed tucked in, reading the study manual for the radio system that we would be tested on the following week. The challenge presented to us in class was music to my ears. A whole seventy-two, to myself? I couldn't think of anything better, and I was determined to win it.

  Dalton came over but didn't stay long. He wanted to head out to the free concert put on by the Marine band at The General's Lawn, but amped up music and smiling faces just didn’t seem like the right place for me to be. I was also afraid that since it was a military event, I would run into Alex and feel the weight of a boulder on my chest again. I wasn't one to whine, but seeing him struck me with pain, and since I had to see him during the regular work/school day, I needed to avoid him anyway that I could.

  Angelica's cell phone woke me early Saturday morning. I'd planned on sleeping in since sleep seemed to be the only time I got any peace, but she gave no courtesy to me sleeping in the bed right next to her. Instead, she answered, laughing and talking loudly while I tossed and turned, hoping she would get the hint. When she did finally leave, I had the hardest time going back to sleep, so I got up, threw on some workout clothes, and went out on the same run that Dalton and I had done before. If I was going to inflict pain on myself, I wanted it to be done by doing something good to my body, not sabotaging it.

  The rising sun creeping over the mountains hit me and poured just a tiny bit of pick me up into my soul. It felt good, all eighty or so degrees of it. The morning air, warm and slightly humid, brought a refreshing aura with it. I definitely needed it. My week had been filled with doubts and lingering questions. There was also the fear that I could be reported and destroyed, and it all hung over me like a dangling noose. It was about time to rid myself of it. If Alex didn't want to continue on with me, then I damn sure wasn't about to be hung up and worried about him.

  I ran all the way back to the barracks. If Alex had done anything good with me, the anger he fueled gave me the determination to push through one of my least favorite activities--running. I looked at my watch just as I approached the building, seeing that I had shaved a good two minutes from the last time I tried this route. Exhausted joy coursed through me. I finally felt as if I was getting back to being me.

  When I made my way to the stairs, I peeked into the duty room and found Dalton standing there in workout clothes, speaking to the Corporal on duty. He turned his head and noticed me, hollering, "Hey, Bennett, wait up."

  I stopped, waiting on the bottom step as he came waltzing out, his everlasting smile still plastered on his face.

  "You were so out of it last night, I wasn't sure you'd be up and out before noon."

  "Yeah, well, when Cruella Deville is your roommate, your sleep runs on her schedule."

  He laughed, and I found the energy to do it too.

  "I'm heading to the chow hall in about a half hour. You want to go with me? Make up for our breakfast that got cancelled?"

  His smile grew larger, and I was weakened. Even if I’d wanted to turn him down, I couldn't do so.

  "Meet me at my room in a half hour. And this time, avoid any instructors lurking around here."

  "Alright. See ya in a bit."

  Dalton went back into the duty room, and I jogged up the stairs. When I reached my room, I looked over the balcony and found Angelica off in the parking lot, talking and laughing with what looked like Castillo. Bile rose in my throat as I watched two people who loathed me, befriending one another. Their exchanges looked so natural. It shouldn't have shocked me since both of them seemed to come with about as much venom as a poisonous snake. The desert was a fitting environment for them, and it was only natural that they found one another.

  I shook them off and walked into my room, hurrying to the bathroom and hopping into the shower before Angelica came back and tried to bulldoze her way in front of me. Since Alex confronted her, she hadn't had much to say, but her pettiness was growing and I really had no desire to deal with it.

  I washed my hair, remembering the feel of Alex's hand running through it. Even though I knew I needed to forget about him, it was so hard to do. The slightest of things constantly reminded of him, pulling me back into that place that was full of anger, hurt, and bitterness. I hurried through my hair washing, scrubbed my body, then got out. The sooner I was occupied, the better.

  "Good morning, Cassie," Angelica said with too much sweetness. Her eyes thinned into snake-like slits. I knew she was up to no good.

  "Good morning, Angelica," I dryly replied. I found no reason to be fake and put on a show with her. I didn't like her, and she knew it.

  "Are you done in the bathroom? I need to shower after that intense kickboxing session this morning."

  She studied my face, almost as if she were looking for a response from me, but I kept my cool and didn’t give her one. If I had learned anything from my very short time in the Corps, it was how to grow a thick skin when it came to petty bitches.

  I brushed past her, moving over to my side of the room without responding to her unwanted information. There wasn't anything that could come out of her mouth that I needed nor wanted to hear.

  "You know Sgt. Castillo and Sgt. Cruz have something, right?" Her voice elevated the further into the bathroom she walked. The sound of her footsteps stopped, right along with my breath.

  She poked her head out of the bathroom, prompting me to turn to my wall locker and gather the things out of it that I needed. She didn't deserve a reaction from me, and I had no reason to give her one.

  "Go ahead and play high and mighty, Cassie, but your boy Cruz is a manipulator. I overheard her talking about it. They all went out to celebrate last night, and he fucked her in her Jeep." She paused, stepping further out and staring at me.

  I could feel the intensity of her gaze, burning into me like solar flares. What the hell was she up to? There was nothing for me to be mad and upset about if two Marines found each other attractive and acted on it. Alex and I were not an item, and if he wanted to dig into the trash for his next fuck, then so be it.

  Only, I couldn’t make myself believe that.

  Of course, I had a reason to be upset. Couple or not, he was fucking wrong if this were true. But I had to consider the source. Ever since Alex went for me at Coyotes, Angelica had turned into a first class bitch, and seeing me suffer seemed to be all that she was after.

  I laughed her off.

  "Well, that's nice. I hope it was good." The words were like deep cuts, slicing their way through me. It hurt saying that shit, even if it was just a front.

  "Okay, Cassie. We both know you and Cruz had something going on. The fact that he would fuck another chick in our immediate circle says a lot about him."

  "You know, Angelica, you have too much time on your hands. You've been trying to stick it to me ever since that night at Coyotes. It was a dance, that's it. But, I can't help but wonder if all of this is just your childish way of screaming that you're pissed you didn't get picked."

  Her eyes lost their gleam, instead rocketing daggers at me.

  "I guess I should warn your new buddy, Castillo that she better watch out. You don’t play nice when you don't get what you want, and it's obvious that Sgt. Cruz is what you want."

  Her mouth tightened as her chest heaved furiously. I had hit a nerve, but it was only fitting because she had hit one with me. I hated that she could get under my skin with something that shouldn't have mattered, and probably wasn't even true, but she had. And in order to make her back the hell up, I had to go for the jugular.
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br />   And it felt good.

  She turned around and walked back into the bathroom, slamming the door with all her might. A small victory had been won, but I was sure that a larger battle was lurking ahead.

  About fifteen minutes later, Dalton came knocking on my door. His blond hair neatly styled, while mine was thrown into a damp ponytail.

  "You ready?" he cheerfully asked, stepping into the doorway and holding the door open for me.

  "Hell yes. Get me out of here."

  "What happened?"

  "Do you even need to ask?"

  I stepped out of the room and waited as he shut the door.

  We walked to the chow hall with minimal conversation. Dalton would comment on the weather, the passing birds, or even the cars in the parking lot-- anything to keep from walking in utter silence. I answered, trying to be polite, but I couldn't carry on the conversation. I was boiling—angry at so many people and unable to figure any sort of way of dealing with it.

  We walked in and grabbed our food, then sat down at the first available table. I played with my food while my mind darted back to Alex, Angelica, and Castillo.

  "Earth to Cassie." He waved his hand in front of me, breaking me from my daydream.

  "Cassie? You never call me that."

  "Well, I had to get your attention somehow. And anyway, I like your first name better. What the heck is going on with you? And don't tell me nothing because I'm no idiot."

  I exhaled a deep breath. I did not want to go into the ins and outs of everything that was irking me. I didn't want Dalton to know what I had been up to. I didn’t want him looking at me differently.

  "I'm just sick of Angelica and her petty shit, that's all. I keep thinking about how much longer I have to live with her, and it's starting to really bother me."

  "Well, you could always ask for a different room assignment."

  "And cave to that bitch? I don't think so."

  He smiled and lightly shook his head. My answer seemed to placate him, and that was all I really needed. I wasn't about to delve into my transgressions in a military chow hall where ears were as wide as the days were long.