Fraternizing f-1

by C. C. Brown

  “Hey. Man. Just letting you know that you’ll have to go in and see First Sergeant O’Hara first thing tomorrow morning. Had to report a sexual harassment incident between Private Allen and Pfc. Bennett—“

  As soon as the names were spoken, I stopped listening and floored the gas pedal, weaving in and out of the traffic on the ten freeway. I knew there was something more with that fucking Allen kid than she had led on. Rage, worry, and sickness swirled around in the pit of my stomach, threatening to come exploding out, all over my truck. I forcefully pressed down on the window button, desperately needing fresh air to keep my disgust locked down.

  I grabbed the phone and called Cassie again, but again, it went straight to voicemail. This time I left a message.

  “What the fuck happened? I told you to fucking lay low. And why didn’t I know more about Allen? Don’t say shit to anyone. I’m coming to get you.”

  I hung up and immediately dialed Newsome. He picked up on the second ring.

  “Hey, man. Welcome back. How was the flight?”

  “It was fine. What the fuck happened?” I was breathing hard and speaking so fast that I forgot to think, and thinking would have reminded me that Newsome was unaware of me and Cassie. I didn’t want to give myself away to anyone else. I took a deep breath, then spoke more rationally. “I mean, what’s going on? Was anyone hurt?”

  “No. But I did hear what was said, and I acted on that shit. Allen even tried to stand up to me. I’m telling you, I was about ready to be pulled as an instructor because if that motherfucker had made one wrong move, I was about to deck his ass.”

  “Why does First Sergeant want to see me?” My guilt was beginning to seep through my words again.

  “I took it to Chief Instructor Gunny Chavez, who thought it warranted taking it to First Sergeant. He just said that as lead instructor for the class, he’d need to see you, to fill you in on what happened, and to brief you on what to do from here on out.”

  I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, wiping away the newly formed sweat that coated my brow.

  “Alright, man. Good to go.”

  “Yep.”

  I hung up. My heart was racing as I pressed down on the accelerator, propelling my truck through the mountain pass that would take me into the upper desert that led to the base. I tried calling Cassie again but couldn’t get a signal, making me drive even faster as the road twisted and turned all the way up to the top. When I finally reached the apex of the mountain, I called her again, this time finally getting her.

  “Hey!”

  “What the hell happened?”

  She breathed hard, not answering my question.

  “Cassie, what the fuck happened? And why didn’t you tell me about Allen when I asked?” My voice was a low, menacing grumble, scraping the bottom of the barrel on its way out.

  “I—I didn’t think it was worth telling you. You’d just lose your shit.”

  “You’re goddamned right I’d lose my shit!” I yelled, unable to contain the anger any longer. “That fucking idiot is missing a screw or two, Cassie. Now something happens with that dickhead, and I’m not there to take care of it. Newsome had to handle it, and since he knows nothing about us, he handled it according to protocol which involves higher ups.” I balled my fist and sent it slamming down onto the steering wheel. “FUCK! I hate being out of control, and you took it away from me.”

  She sat silent on the phone, her soft breaths my only indication that she was still there.

  “Did they pull you in for a statement?” I asked, trying to remove the anger and frustration and from my voice.

  “Yes—“

  “Who did you speak to? What did you tell them?” I interrupted, feeling more and more powerless with every answer she gave. I looked down at my speedometer, realizing I was nearing ninety miles per hour, and couldn’t give a fuck about slowing down.

  “Newsome took it to Gunny Chavez who took it to First Sergeant O’Hara. He just asked me what happened, and I told him.”

  “What did happen?”

  “We got our orders read to us—“

  “Wait, your orders were read? No one fucking told me the orders were ready.”

  “Yes. We got them.”

  A new level of irritation was setting in. I had no idea the orders were ready. Now I felt blindsided.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Eighth Comm.”

  “In fucking North Carolina?”

  “Yes.”

  “This is bullshit!”

  “Alex, that’s not the worst of it.”

  Her words chilled my spine. Whatever was coming next was definitely something that I didn’t need to hear.

  “Allen got sent there, too. That’s how all of this shit got started.”

  My throat caught fire. It hurt to open my mouth. I couldn’t speak. My mind raged with thoughts of her having to PCS with this jackass, after everything that she had been through with him.

  “Alex… Alex…”

  “Yeah, I’m here,” I said, finally able to speak after a few deep sighs. ”I need to know exactly what that fucker said to you. Every spec of it.”

  “He was pissed about his assignment, so when Dalton told me out in the courtyard that he had gotten Third L.A.R., Allen overheard it and flipped out.”

  “What the fuck did he say, Cassie?”

  “I don’t remember it word for word.”

  “Try!”

  She paused for a second before speaking. “He said something about being pissed that Dalton got a combat unit and he was being sent to Eighth Comm with a bunch of bitches.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “Then I told him he wasn’t good enough for infantry.”

  “Why the fuck would you say something to him?”

  “I couldn’t hold it in, Alex. He was inadvertently speaking to me when he said it, and after everything else—“

  “You tell me right fucking now everything this dick has ever said to you. Since you were trying to protect his ass before.”

  “I wasn’t protecting—“

  “Yes, you were. I want to know right now what he’s been saying to you. And don’t gloss over and sugar coat shit. I. Need. To. Know. You understand that?”

  She blew out a deep breath.

  “When I first met him, he told me to blow him if he beat me in a video game. Then he told me I need to know my fucking place and that females didn’t belong in the Corps. It’s always something sexist and misogynistic. Today he told me he would stick his dick down my throat to shut my mouth, or something like that. That’s when Newsome stopped him.”

  My heart sank. The shit he had been saying to her was more than sexual harassment, it was a fucking death wish. My frustration only grew as I listened to it because had I known that this shit was going on from the very beginning, I would have put a stop to it then. Instead, his attacks seemed to have only escalated, and now it was out of my fucking hands. I wanted to puke at the image of this asshole trying to do anything to her. I’d put that motherfucker six feet under before I ever let that happen.

  “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

  “No, you aren’t. It’s not that serious. They’re just words.”

  “That’s fucking easy for you to say, Cassie. I’m trying to erase visual images of that motherfucker trying to ram his dick down your throat, and it’s ripping me apart. I’m telling you, once I get that asshole alone, I’m going to make sure he can’t open his mouth to say another motherfucking word.”

  “Alex—“

  “And you. You need to listen to me. You don’t talk about it, with anyone—not even fucking Dalton. You understand that?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “No, Cassie. You don’t talk about it. I don’t want anyone overhearing anything you say and blowing it up any bigger than what it already is. I’m going to handle this shit and move it along as quickly and quietly as possible. Act like it never happened, you understand me?”

  “Yes. Geez, I und
erstand you.”

  “I’ll be home in about ten minutes. Then I’m sending for you.”

  “Do you think—“

  “Be ready. Talk to you soon. Bye”

  I hung up, my fists feeling like weights had been placed inside of them. I knew the second I got the chance, Allen was going to be a dead man.

  I couldn’t wait to get face to face with him, and make that fantasy a reality.

  Storming through the front door, I stomped into the house, back to my bedroom and threw my bags down on the floor, then promptly shut the door and walked back to the front. Riley was up and off the couch, looking curiously at me.

  “Welcome home, man. What’s got you in such a huff?”

  “You don’t fucking know?”

  He walked closer. “No. What happened?”

  “Fucking Newsome filed a sexual harassment claim against Allen today because of some shit he said to Cassie.”

  “Oh, fuck.”

  “Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I’m going to fucking smash that motherfucker’s throat in. He won’t be able to say anymore shit like that to her.”

  “Like what? What did he say?”

  I stood, eyes closed, fists tightly clenched, trying to contain my brewing anger.

  I opened my eyes and unclenched my fists. “I can’t even say it all, man, but he threatened to shove his dick down her throat. I’ll cut that shit off before I let him do anything to her.”

  Riley walked over to me and patted my shoulder, leaving his hand resting there and trying to calm me down, but it really wasn’t working. He was only adding to my growing frustration because the longer he held me up, the longer it was taking me to get to Allen and beat him until he was unrecognizable.

  “You’re not leaving the house right now, Alex.”

  I shoved his hand off of me, stepping away before I took out my aggression on him.

  “Fuck off, Riley.”

  “No. You need to calm the fuck down. I’m sure they’ve got his ass on some sort of watched restriction right now. You go up there, and you’ll blow the whole fucking lid off of you and Cassie. No one knows right now, but you go defending her honor, and the whole goddamned schoolhouse is going to know about it. Think, man.”

  He poked me forcefully in the head, pissing me off, but his words were much too rational and made me stop and think for second. He was right. If I went storming up there, way after the fact, it would definitely rouse suspicion. I hated how right he was. That alone made me want to punch him.

  I turned and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a water and drinking it down in one long gulp before throwing the bottle at the wall, watching it fall to the ground.

  “I’m only looking out for you and Cassie, man.”

  “There won’t be a me and Cassie, dude. She got orders to fucking Lejeune. As of next week, she’ll be on a fucking plane to the east coast, and I’ll be stuck here, wallowing in this cesspool.”

  He walked into the kitchen, disbelief spread across his face.

  “What the fuck are you saying? You’ve gone through all of this—the hiding, the lying, the secrets—to just throw it all away because she got orders to another base? What is wrong with you?”

  “Don’t fucking start—“

  “No. You need to listen. You’ve changed for this girl.” He walked closer to me, stopping just in front of me. “You fucking love her, and I’ll be damned if I stand by and watch you let her walk away because you aren’t going to be near each other. Wake the fuck up,” he said, poking me in the chest.

  “Back the fuck up, Riley.”

  “Punch me, Alex. Do whatever you have to do to get the stupidity out of your fucking system. But walking away from Cassie, that’s not happening. You’ve sucked me into this, and I’m not putting my fucking career on the line to watch you throw it all away.”

  I wanted to give him what he wanted. I wanted to punch him, but I wanted to punch myself even more. I didn’t know what to think, and everything that I did think was wrong. I knew there was no way that I wanted to not have Cassie in my life, but thoughts of her being on the opposite end of the country made me sick with worry. I’d already fucked up on her, and even though it was an admitted mistake, I couldn’t shake the idea that the distance would taint her mind and leave her with no choice but to want to end things with me. I turned away from him and grabbed a shot glass from the cupboard and the bottle of Jack.

  “Grab me one, too,” Riley said, stepping over to me.

  I grabbed a second glass and let him open the whiskey, pour the glasses full, then hand me my glass. I threw it back and slammed the glass down on the counter, wincing at the sting as it traveled down my throat.

  “You need another?” Riley asked, holding the bottle up. “I’ll drink all night with you if this is what you need to bring some sanity back to your mind.”

  “I’m good, man,” I lowly answered, now feeling like my head was swirling from the sudden heat filling my body, along with the stress and anxiety of everything that I had been told today. “I need to call Cassie and let her know to just chill for the night.”

  I turned and walked out of the kitchen, shutting my door behind me once I got into my room. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to beat the shit out of Allen and be able to keep her here with me. I was losing control. This situation came to mind before, and we’d even discussed it, but the reality of her being sent off hurt much more than the prospect of it. I wasn’t sure how I would come to grips with the impending separation.

  I called her, needing to hear her voice one more time before I forced myself to sleep.

  “Hey,” she said, sounding very sweet, exactly what I needed at the moment.

  “Hey. I needed to hear your voice, and I’m sorry for going crazy on you earlier.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I figured you were just upset.”

  “Yeah, but I should have channeled that shit. Anyway, Riley talked some sense into me. I’m not going up there. In fact, we both need to lay low for a bit and let all of this blow over.”

  “I agree.”

  “I’ll be up there early to see First Sergeant O’Hara. If they haven’t already removed him from the class, I’m going to have it done.”

  “Alex, don’t make it any bigger than what it needs to be. We have a few more instructional days and then we graduate. I’m good.”

  “Well, somebody is getting their orders changed. If they don’t get rid of his sorry ass, I’m not letting you PCS with him.”

  “Well, we’ll see what happens. I’m honestly over it. I just want to move on.”

  “I’ll let you know what happens. How is your crazy ass roommate? You’ve got me all sorts of worried about you.”

  “She’s fine. We avoid each other, and it works.”

  “Good. Well, I’ll let you get some sleep. I need some before I show up ready to break somebody in half tomorrow.”

  She laughed. Finally. Her laugh was a remedy for all sorts of ailments, and right now, I needed a hefty dose of it.

  “Good night.”

  “Good night.”

  I hung up the phone and lay there, staring at the ceiling and wondering how I would keep myself under control when I finally did get the chance to look Allen in the eye. Sleep didn’t come easily, so I took a long shower, jacking off to release the rest of the stress that was still piled up inside of me, then finally laid down—ass naked, on top of the bedspread and under a ferociously spinning ceiling fan. I needed any and everything to cool me down.

  First thing in the morning, before the stars had even hidden themselves away, I got up and went for a long run, hoping the still looming tension from the night before would dissipate before heading in to work. After four miles, it was still there, still loading me down. I jogged back home and immediately showered, trying to think of pleasant thoughts where Cassie was concerned, to keep the tension from growing. I hummed Fall For You while I washed myself off, remembering the beautiful smile on her face as I strummed the guitar on the beac
h, and she lowly hummed along. Those were the moments I want to think about, not this bullshit festering between her and Allen.

  I knocked on Riley’s door, calling out, “See ya later, man,” before walking for the front door. He came darting out of his room, wearing just his boxers. “I don’t need to see your shit first thing in the morning, Riley. I have enough traumatizing shit going on in my head right now.”

  “Fuck off,” he joked, the goofy, awkward Riley back. “I just wanted to make sure you remembered what I said last night.”

  “I remember, man. I’m going in to see First Sergeant O’Hara.”

  “Alright. Don’t do anything stupid, Alex.”

  I flipped him off and turned for the door, leaving with his words replaying over and over in my head.

  Standing in front of First Sergeant’s door, I contemplated the different ways that I wanted to approach this issue. I couldn’t give anything away that this was a personal matter for me, but I also didn’t want this shit swept under the rug. I needed to make sure that Allen got what he deserved, and at this point in time, it would be better coming from the higher ups than it would be coming from me. I knocked on the door, turning the knob and removing my cover before stepping in after hearing O’Hara tell me to come in.

  “Good morning, First Sergeant.”

  He stood and walked over to shake my hand. “Morning, Sergeant, Cruz. Sorry to have to bring you in so early to deal with this shit. Students, you just never what you’re going to get.” He laughed, and I tried hard to join him, but I couldn’t force more than a tight chuckle out.

  “Anyway, Sgt. Newsome came and reported an incident of sexual harassment between two of your students. And I know you were TAD during all of this, but as the lead instructor, I need to get your input.”

  I nodded my head, well aware of what had happened, and wanting to hurry up and get to what we were going to do about Allen.