Play With Fire: Into The Fire Series
Page 15
Donovan
The scent of Jasmine surrounded me, wrapping around me like a drug. My heart was tethered to her, and I didn’t even care.
When I heard her come home tonight, all I knew was I needed her.
Now she was here, her plump lips against mine, her tongue dancing and teasing with mine after driving me insane with that hot little blowjob in the hallway. It didn’t matter that I’d just come in her mouth, I was already hard again. For her. Only her.
I tore at her clothes, hearing a rip of fabric, a button pinging on the floor. Stepping back, she stumbled as she kicked her boots loose and shimmied out of her skirt while I threw my shirt to the floor. In a flash, she was bare naked. We were standing beside the couch, and I spun her around probably a little rougher than I should’ve.
She didn’t miss a beat, her hands curling over the back of the couch as she leaned forward. The musky scent of her desire drifted to me. Reaching between her thighs, I found her hot, slick, and ready. I didn’t even wait, gripping my cock in my fist, I buried myself to the hilt inside of her from behind. She tilted her ass up; the sweet curve of her spine was so damn sexy. I held still for a beat, emotion tightening in my throat while my heart thudded hard and fast against my ribcage.
I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly, knew I was acting on emotion. But it felt as if Jasmine knew that somehow, as if she knew I needed to lose myself in her, inside this madness that beat like a drum between us.
On the heels of a ragged breath, I drew back and surged inside, my low growl loud in the quiet room. Her channel felt so good, so wet and clenching. Another few strokes, and I was already barreling toward my own release.
Sweet as the sight of her ass was, I needed to see her face. I drew back, spinning her around again. We tumbled over the back of the sofa in a tangle of limbs. She straddled my lap as I leaned back into the cushions. Looking up at her with her amber hair a tangle around her face and her skin flushed, my heart knew the truth. She had ruined me—slayed me. And I hadn’t even seen it coming.
She rose up, sliding down over my cock and sheathing me inside of her. Dusting kisses along my temple and down my neck, she rocked her hips into me. She came almost instantly, her tight pussy squeezing and clenching around my cock. I felt her shudder and the sweet sound of her cry before I let myself go, my second release pouring into her long and deep.
Jasmine fell against me, tucking her head in the crook of my neck, her breath gusting across my skin. Having a lapful of her with my cock buried in her was the closest thing to true heaven I’d ever experienced.
My hand was tangled in her hair, and I slowly sifted my fingers through it as I tried to catch my own breath. It was a damn good thing I was sitting down. Only Jasmine had the capacity to take so much from me that I was spent when it was over.
In taking, though, she gave. While my body was utterly spent, my heart was full, emotion rushing through me. The depth of intensity I felt for her was unlike anything I’d experienced.
At the feel of her lifting her head, I opened my eyes. Just looking at her and my cock stirred. It didn’t matter that I’d just spent myself twice with her. This woman. She sat there, her warm channel cradling me, and her blue eyes coasting over me. Fuck, she was beautiful—her plump breasts with her pink nipples taut and her hair a wild mess.
She eyed me, her gaze considering. Lifting a hand, she trailed it along my jawline.
“How are you?” she asked.
Such a simple question, and it made me smile. We hadn’t bothered with any of the niceties, not tonight. In these few moments when I had lost myself in her, I had briefly forgotten the call with my mother.
Bill was in the hospital, my old best friend. He would probably die, or at least that was what they were saying.
I knew I was falling for Jasmine; hell, I was already in so deep, I couldn’t imagine her, this, not becoming a permanent part of my life. I was just trying to sort out how fast to move with her.
Despite the depth of intimacy between us and despite how quickly she had made her way straight to my heart—she all but held my heart in her hands at this point—I wasn’t quite sure how to go about talking about Bill.
My limited experience with serious relationships was years enough in the past that I was rusty. I wasn’t accustomed to sharing my feelings, much less about something that hit an old sore spot.
I was long over Katie. If I hadn’t known that before, I knew it with certainty now. Jasmine had firmly claimed a place in my heart, the way I felt for her casting a long shadow over what I’d once thought I had with Katie.
I sensed that Jasmine was picking up that I was hurting inside. But that didn’t mean I knew how to talk about it, not just now.
I wasn’t going to lie. So I shrugged, slipping my fingers through her hair and down her spine. My hands came to rest at the dip of her waist, my thumbs brushing across the soft curve of her belly.
“I had a long day,” I finally said.
I could see the curiosity flash in her eyes. I sensed her hesitation colliding with mine. This thing between us had been forged in the heat of passion. Picking our way through the rubble of our pasts felt dicey just now. Everything was too fresh, too damn raw. I knew from the first night I met her that she had her own recent baggage.
“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m here,” she finally said.
I stared at her, my heart squeezing and an unfamiliar sense of uncertainty washing through me as I nodded. I suddenly worried that this would create distance between us, but she seemed to grasp now wasn’t the time to push.
Her finger trailed down my neck and over the curve of my shoulder.
“Have you had dinner?” she asked.
I shook my head slowly just as my stomach growled. “You?”
She giggled and nodded. “I had dinner with Levi and Lucy tonight. I’ll make you something. You can’t go to bed hungry.”
Then, she was climbing off my lap and untangling herself. I reluctantly let her go. I’d rather she stayed skin-to-skin with me, but I was starving.
Even though it was late, she tugged on a robe and started rummaging in the kitchen. I slipped my jeans on and watched while she whipped together a quick dinner for me. Somehow inside of twenty minutes, she created a delicious dish of pasta with chicken, sesame oil, garlic, and vegetables.
Hours later, I woke in the darkness, spooned behind her and breathing in the scent of her. In that moment, everything was as it should be.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Jasmine
The next morning, I made Donovan breakfast. I slipped out of bed before he was awake, got coffee started, and settled on making omelets. He had declared he would eat anything, so I figured it was a safe bet.
I was whisking the eggs when I heard him padding out of the bedroom. Glancing over, my breath hitched at the sight of him. His dark curls were damp as he ran a hand through them. He’d tugged on his jeans, not even bothering to button them yet. He was bare-chested, and I instantly wanted to lick him.
Walking to me, he rounded the small island and slid his hands around my waist to drop a kiss on the side of my neck.
“You smell good,” he murmured into my skin, sending a hot shiver straight through me and butterflies spinning in my belly. He straightened, watching over my shoulder as I finished whisking the eggs and tried to order my body to behave. My nipples had tightened to little points and my pussy clenched.
Donovan couldn’t be near me without turning me on, or so it seemed.
“Coffee’s ready,” I commented, as I poured the egg mixture in the pan.
He chuckled, stepping back and sliding a palm down my spine, an easy pass that sent a wash of heat through me.
“I could get used to this,” he said, as he poured a cup of coffee. He glanced over to me, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t have any coffee yet.” He reached up, fetching another mug from the cabinet and filling it for me. “Cream? Sugar?”
The moment he said sugar, I recalled the sound
of his voice saying that word when he was referring to me.
Pay attention. You’re making breakfast, I sternly ordered myself.
“Just a dash of cream,” I replied.
He poured the requested amount in my coffee before handing it over.
“Do you need any help?” he asked, as he rounded the counter and slipped his hips onto a stool.
“Nope, just a few more minutes,” I said as I added some cheese and hastily chopped mushrooms and peppers in the omelet before folding it over. “Are you headed to the station?”
His eyes flicked up to the clock above the door. “Not for an hour. Do you normally get up this early?” he asked in between sips of coffee.
“I’m an early riser. Doesn’t even matter if I have an alarm, I’m up early.”
Donovan nodded, his mouth kicking up at the corner with his smile. “Ah, sounds like me. I’ve given up on trying to sleep in. The only time that happens is when I’ve been out working, and I actually haven’t slept for more than twenty-four hours.”
As I cooked, we chatted about nothing important. His phone rang somewhere along the way, and when he spun his phone around on the counter to check the screen, his expression looked pained.
“Are you okay?” I asked reflexively, turning off the burner and using the spatula to slide his omelet onto a plate.
When he looked over, for a moment, I thought he might tell me what was bothering him. I recalled his reply to me last night when I’d asked the same question. I don’t know. Honestly, it wasn’t that I’d forgotten that moment, nor the pain I’d sensed radiating from him. But, as was always the case, I’d simply gotten swept into the riptide of pure need with him.
Just now, I wanted him to talk to me. And yet, I didn’t want to push. After a long moment, he took a sip of his coffee and gave his head a little shake. “I’m fine.”
Okay, so that was the deal. I gave myself a mental shakedown, reminding myself things were fresh; I was tumbling headlong into this and didn’t need to start pinning hopes and dreams onto anything.
Blessedly, I didn’t dwell. We shifted back into an easy banter while we ate. He left for work a little while later, pausing to kiss me at the door.
After he left, I was nearly giddy. I was falling for him. Way too fast. I felt decadent after last night. Sex with him was almost like a drug.
I wondered when he would get called out to another fire again. I should’ve been used to it. Levi had been a firefighter for years now. It wasn’t as if I didn’t worry about Levi when he was out, but with Donovan, it was different somehow. In a blink, Donovan had occupied a large space in my heart.
The only thing marring it was the knowledge that he was holding something back. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew something heavy was weighing on him last night. Whoever had called this morning—the call he’d ignored—had brought back a glimmer of the same look in his eyes. Maybe I needed to remember not to turn this into more than it was. I wasn’t in any state to be jumping into love. It’s just that Donovan made it hard to remember that.
I gave my head a shake, turning and hurrying into the shower. I needed to make some calls about some supplies and decide what the hell I was going to do about my studio space in the back of the café.
When I got out of the shower a little bit later, I glanced down at my phone to see a text from Glen. I had expected to miss him, I just didn’t. That pretty much said it all. I suddenly wondered if Donovan was a rebound. For someone who was practically an expert at worrying and overthinking and over-analyzing to the point of disintegrating anything down to nothing, my heart knew the answer when it came to Donovan.
Perhaps due to timing, someone from the outside could say it was a rebound, but there was no way. Everything with him was far more than I’d had with anyone. Ever. Even the night Glen had asked me to marry him hadn’t contained the depth of intensity I felt when I was with Donovan.
With a sigh, I stared down at Glen’s texts.
It would be nice if you could at least let me explain.
I fucked up. I’m hoping you’re planning to come home soon so we can talk.
Looking at Glen’s words, I didn’t even feel much betrayal. Rather, I felt a sense of relief. Thanks to him and Lisa, I’d conveniently dodged a bullet.
I almost laughed at the idea of considering San Francisco home. It was where I’d lived for the last seven years, yet it had never felt like home. Home was the place where your heart felt at home. Without a doubt, my heart knew Willow Brook as home.
I considered not even replying to his text, or calling. But I was a sucker for being polite, so I quickly called.
He answered almost immediately. “Jasmine, thank God you called.”
He started talking, jumping to repeat everything he’d just texted to me.
I cut him off. “Glen.”
He stopped talking. “What?”
“We’re over. It sounds like you have all kinds of things you want to explain. But I’m only calling just to give you the respect you didn’t give me. We’re not meant to be together. I think you know that. Maybe you don’t want to be with Lisa, but I think you should take some time to figure out what you actually want. I don’t want to be with someone who would lie behind my back and fuck somebody else in my bed,” I said flatly.
“Come on, Jasmine. Give me a chance to explain.”
“Glen, it doesn’t really matter. I hear that you’re sorry and I appreciate that, but it’s done. I’m not coming back to San Francisco. Even if I were, I wouldn’t be getting back together with you.”
Glen was dead silent. I didn’t think he was too accustomed to anyone setting a boundary this clearly with him. He was accustomed to flirting, cajoling, and teasing until he got what he wanted.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
I heard the hint of condescension in his tone. There were ways I wasn’t the most confident, and he used to play on that sometimes. Not now.
“I’m sure,” I said firmly, without an ounce of doubt pervading my thoughts. “Good luck. I hope you find someone who really matters to you.”
I tapped to end the call and set my phone on the counter, feeling a sense of freedom. In all honesty, Donovan had so quickly filled every corner of my body, heart, and mind that there was no room for anyone else. Yet, even without that, with Glen screwing around on me and just feeling like an idiot, I didn’t need to cling to him. No matter what happened with Donovan in the future, I wasn’t going back to Glen, and I wasn’t going back to San Francisco.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Donovan
A few days passed since I had heard about Bill. I had called my mother to check in a few times and had also been in touch with Bill’s parents. I was beginning to feel hopeful that he might actually pull through.
Weighing in the back of my mind was whether or not to go see him. His mother wanted me to wait because she was hoping he was going to get better, and I could visit then. He had started to stabilize in the burn center.
Meanwhile, I spent every night with Jasmine and those silky ribbons she wound around my heart cinched tighter and tighter. I knew that she knew that something was weighing on me though, and I didn’t quite know how to talk about it. I was a private person in general.
As close as I felt to her when we were intimate and skin-to-skin, I was in uncharted territory as far as learning how to be open about something like this. My skills were rusty since I hadn’t had a serious relationship since Katie. Yet, even that relationship hadn’t been like what I had with Jasmine. It hadn’t come close to the depth and power.
Katie and I had been young and carefree. Neither of us had experienced any great loss at that point in our lives. The shared betrayal by her and Bill had knocked me back, but then, you see a lot when you’re a hotshot firefighter. You come face-to-face with death and near-death in ways that most people never do.
Emotions were something I was used to handling alone. For now, Jasmine seemed okay with letting me keep
some distance. But I also knew there was a reckoning on the horizon.
Our crew got called out to a fire out of town for three days. I was starting to face the reality of Jasmine being Levi’s little sister. I’d conveniently ignored it for weeks. But there was no going back. Jasmine was mine. I knew I needed to fess up to him about us, sooner rather than later. The longer I waited, the greater the chances were that he’d kick my ass.
That meant a conversation with Jasmine. Not for a minute did I forget that she had a fiery streak. That streak was what resulted in her hauling off and punching the guy who grabbed her ass weeks ago. That fiery streak also meant nights so hot it was a damn miracle I hadn’t burned to ashes yet.
The thing was, at first, I figured … Well, I hadn’t figured anything. I’d simply been unable to resist the temptation of Jasmine.
It was so much more now. I knew she knew it too. Yet, all of it was just between us. It was entirely possible for us to keep it that way living across the hall from each other. We were practically moved in together at this point. I missed her when we were out at fires. The only time I didn’t think about her was in the thick of the heat of whatever fire we were fighting.
Day three at a controlled burn that had skipped its firebreaks, and we had it back under control and were rotating back to Willow Brook. Our usual pilot Fred was tied up in Fairbanks, so they’d sent in a few small planes to fly us out.
We’d be landing in Anchorage rather than directly in Willow Brook. Once we were in the air and I had reception, I powered on my phone. A message from my mother was waiting. What little progress Bill had made had been erased with an infection.
“Honey, I think you should come down here. It’s not looking like he’ll make it.”
My heart seized and gave a hard thump of grief. The scrape of regret that had been lingering bloomed into a full-on gaping wound.
No matter what had happened, he was the friend I’d known all through childhood.