by Becky Due
Rebecca went straight to the kitchen and picked up the phone. She dialed the home security’s number, and asked, “If the power goes out while the alarm system is armed, what will happen?” Rebecca was assured a backup system was in place. She would hear a solid tone until the system was restored and rearmed, which usually took less than thirty seconds. Rebecca felt much more secure.
She sat on the deep sofa watching the rain and anticipating each rumbling of thunder. The clouds were thick and heavy. The thunder was loud, but infrequent and there wasn’t much lightning. Her mind drifted back to that weekend she met Jack.
She had returned to work the following Tuesday, and she gave Ed a month’s notice. She was nervous about quitting but knew she had to make changes in her life. She had to go for her dreams, and she needed the pressure of deadlines and timetables. Rebecca started phoning PR firms to see if they needed help in their office. She wanted to at least get her foot in the door.
After a few days, Response Public Relations, a PR firm just starting out, called back. Three women in the office needed help with answering phones, making calls, doing computer work, cleaning the office, researching clients, filing, and there was room for advancement. It was perfect. She drove to Denver for the interview and was hired on the spot. Rebecca would start by working from home until she felt she could leave her other job and move to Denver. She couldn’t believe how everything was working out. Happy and excited, Rebecca called her mother in New York to tell her the great news.
That weekend, Rebecca went to Cheyenne to spend time with some friends. She had planned to stay both Friday and Saturday nights, but on Saturday night she felt an urgent need go back home. When she entered her apartment, Roy attacked her.
Rebecca was thankful to have a counselor and support in place. She had already been focusing on how to better herself and her life, so as devastating as the attack was, Rebecca was able to move on quickly. She worked with Victim Services, found answers that she needed and became her own best advocate. She was sometimes anxious about Roy, but she would not let this experience destroy her, and she was more excited than ever to move and leave her past behind.
During Rebecca’s last week in Fort Collins, she said goodbye to friends from her group, her counselor and some of her old coworkers. Although Fort Collins was not far from Denver, she knew that she would be busy, and she wasn’t sure she would want to return to that part of her life. Her direction was forward to her new apartment and her new career.
Two days before she moved to Denver, her phone rang. It was Jack.
“You’re not easy to track down.”
“Who is this?”
“Jack… the loud talker.”
“Jack! Thank you for paying for my spa day!”
“You’re welcome. So you live in Fort Collins.”
“Actually, I’m moving to Denver in two days, for work.”
“That’s wonderful. How about after you get settled, you give me a call and we’ll have dinner.”
“Sure that sounds nice.” She pretended to write down his number and they said their good-byes. She knew she wouldn’t call him. She also knew she was being passive, but she wasn’t perfect. She didn’t want to explain her life to this stranger, Jack. Rebecca sat in her packed-up apartment ready for change but not ready for another man.
4:35 PM
Rebecca stood up from the couch and realized she was hungry. She headed into the kitchen to make her favorite meal and the only thing she knew how to make, pasta. She filled the pot with water and placed it on the burner. She stepped into the pantry for the pasta that she always had on hand. She pulled out a handful and broke it in half before setting it into the water.
Loud thunder roared through the valley and the house shook. She tensed and waited for the power to go out, but it didn’t.
Rebecca grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and gulped down a third of it. She knew she needed to drink more water; she would work on that. Rebecca felt invigorated and alive. She was physically and mentally stronger than she had been before her workout and self-check-in. Now she had a plan for everything.
Rebecca knew that in all probability Roy most likely wouldn’t come after her and she had to stop thinking about him so much. If he skipped out on seeing his parole officer, she was certain that she would be notified. If that happened, she would allow herself to worry, and she would ask Jack to come home or she would get a bodyguard. Rebecca decided not to call Victim Services or try to contact his parole officer.
Rebecca rinsed the pasta, then added butter and parmesan cheese. Taking a fork from the drawer, she sat down in the kitchen nook. Her thoughts drifted back to Jack while she ate.
Jack had always made her feel safe in every way. But there was something she never considered about him before—he wanted everybody to be safe. Maybe that was the sign of a great man. Rebecca remembered all the little things he did for others.
Once they were in the Bahamas having breakfast, and there was a younger couple just a few tables away who seemed concerned about the bill and their lack of money. Jack told the server to put their bill on his.
Jack also took good care of his two, more serious, ex-girlfriends after they broke up. He helped pay for school for one, and helped out the other financially when she had some health issues and struggled to pay her bills. At first, it bothered Rebecca, but later she understood that was just who Jack was, and she admired him.
Then there was Melvin from just a few days ago when Jack was getting an oil change. An older man sat down and started talking to him. Melvin told Jack about his financial trouble and how he needed to drive over four thousand miles across country to get back home. The mechanic came over and told Melvin that he needed a few things done and four new tires. Jack followed the mechanic to the shop and told him that he wanted to buy the four new tires for Melvin anonymously. So he did. Later Jack noticed that the mechanic had written on his bill, “Jack bought Melvin four new tires so Melvin could make his trip home. God bless you.”
Tears welled in Rebecca’s eyes.
She was feeling tired, which often made her more emotional, so she decided to get back to work. She turned on the fireplace and sat down to find out more about Angie. Rebecca read two more eye-opening articles: “Why Prostitution Should Not be Legalized” and “Violence Against Women and Children: How it Affects Everybody”.
Rebecca understood that it was all connected: child sexual abuse, domestic abuse, addictions, rape, strippers, prostitution, pornography, the overall lack of value placed on people. “Empowered women make healthier choices,” Rebecca wrote in her notes.
Rebecca knew that when she felt strong, happy, loved and empowered, she made better choices in her life. But when she was feeling lonely, depressed, inadequate or rejected, she often made poor choices.
Returning from the kitchen with a Diet Coke, she continued reading where she left off. Lily jumped up to lie next to her, grunting several times while she got comfortable. “You grunt like an old man,” Rebecca said and rubbed Lily’s side.
Angie had charts and diagrams about how little girls get sucked into the cycle of abuse and how sex predators work. The charts were very interesting and easy to follow and understand. Her chart on sex crimes listed the types of crimes, the ages of the perpetrator versus the ages of the victim, and what the punishment was. Angie wanted a national law so that parents living in Wisconsin would have a better understanding of what type of crime their sex offender neighbor from Texas committed. The language, crime and punishment needed to be the same in every state across the country.
Angie included a copy of her letter to politicians and organizations that could help. The letter discussed her goal to have a consistent national database for sex offenders and to have this chart she created, or something similar, mailed to every household so every U.S. citizen would clearly know what was a crime and what wasn’t. She wanted parents to talk to their kids about date rape and appropriate ages of boyfriends and girlfriends. She wante
d parents to talk to their kids about their own bodies and how to protect them. She wanted to expose child sexual abuse and get help for children, even if it was the inner child of a grown woman who had been assaulted; it didn’t matter how long ago it happened. Angie wanted to instill in everyone the importance of telling somebody, getting help and getting the perpetrator off the street.
Rebecca realized after going through more of Angie’s things that there were national laws in place to help and protect women and children, but they were not enough. There were such laws as Amber Alert, Megan’s Law, the Violence Against Women Act, and the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. Angie’s ideas were similar to the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act. Unfortunately, laws didn’t mean much when there wasn’t enough funding to support them.
Rebecca read Angie’s letters of rejection, everybody from America’s Most Wanted to Congress. Most agreed with her, but said each state had its own system of funding, laws and language. Rebecca didn’t realize that. She figured when dealing with children concerning perpetrators who could drive or fly from state to state that the laws would be the same throughout. Rebecca was feeling as discouraged as Angie probably had been. She got up and headed to her office to find out more about these laws to protect women and children.
After researching national laws and looking for sex predators on the Internet, Rebecca called her sister to tell her to check her neighborhood. Rebecca found many sex offenders listed in the area her sister lived in, which also wasn’t far from her dad’s house and the neighborhood where she grew up. She checked her area and her mother’s area; both were clear.
Rebecca knew how lucky she was to have Jack, and she knew that money had bought her security. Money seemed to buy safety, and that was a topic she kept coming back to while reading Angie’s materials and thinking about the lives of other women.
Rebecca lay down on the couch to sort out her thoughts about Angie and fell asleep. She woke when Jack called her to say good night around nine-thirty. She was glad he woke her.
“So… when is our appointment?”
Rebecca laughed nervously. “Honey, I’m sorry. When do you get in on Thursday?”
“Late. That’s why I’m taking a town car.”
“How late? I’ll wait up for you.”
“I’m scheduled to get in around ten-thirty-five. And by the time I get home it will be about twelve-thirty.”
“Okay, you’re penciled in. Twelve-thirty Thursday night.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“Me too.” Rebecca started getting excited. Just the thought of having his body against her and his hands caressing her skin caused her breathing to change. Her head felt light.
After hanging up the phone, she started creating the fantasy in her mind; it would be their first time. Jack was her new boyfriend and he was coming to stay for a visit. She had desperately wanted him since they met and she knew that Thursday night would be the night they would make love for the first time.
She wondered what he would be like. Would he be good? Would he feel good inside of her? How many times and for how long would they make love?
Rebecca felt giddy and excited. Her “first time” fantasies were her favorite. She was a romantic who loved the first kiss, the first touch and the first time. And Rebecca had many first times with Jack, but he didn’t know about it. She kept her fantasy to herself.
Men weren’t the only ones who joked about being with the same person for the rest of their lives. Women sometimes dreaded that thought too.
Rebecca had heard too many of her friends who had been married for years talk about never having another first kiss, first date or that first time a man reaches for their hand. But especially there was that talk about never having the excitement of the first time again. The way they talked about it made her fear some of her friends were contemplating adultery.
Rebecca would always secretly have first times with Jack for the rest of her life, and she couldn’t wait.
It had stormed most of the day, but the power stayed on. As she looked outside she could see that the rain had been replaced with a lightning storm. “What strange weather.” She decided to take Lily out while there wasn’t much rain.
“Lily, come on baby. You wanna go outside?” Lily was lying on the floor by Rebecca’s feet. Rebecca gently patted Lily and lifted her up. Seeing the alarm note, she went back to the kitchen to disarm the alarm. Rebecca yawned and slipped into her shoes. She attached Lily’s leash to her harness, and she opened the front door. It was pitch black. Rebecca stepped back in and turned on all the outdoor lights. “Now hurry, honey. Mama doesn’t like this weather.” She closed the door behind them.
The night air was chilly, but it wasn’t raining. The grass was wet and slippery under Rebecca’s shoes. “Hurry up, honey.” Lily sniffed around, and Rebecca kept looking toward the trees going up the hill. Because she couldn’t see anything in the distance, she listened intently, too.
Lily started turning in circles, her ritual before peeing. Then she quickly squatted. Just as she was finishing, Lily started barking into the darkness.
Rebecca looked in the same direction but saw nothing. “It’s okay, honey.” Each lightening strike terrified Rebecca. She could see everything in that instant, but then everything went black again. It was eerie, and Rebecca still felt as though she were being watched.
Lily continued looking around, then sniffing the grass. Another lightening strike and Rebecca thought she saw something in the distance, but then it was dark again. Her eyes readjusted to the darkness. The next strike came suddenly and felt so close Rebecca cried out, “Baby, let’s go inside,” as she ran toward the door. Rebecca didn’t want to see coyotes or anything else coming out of the darkness. Once back inside, she didn’t feel as afraid with the door locked and the alarm on.
Rebecca was cold and plopped down in Jack’s soft leather chair in the living room. She could smell his cologne, Fahrenheit, and it took her back to how they finally ended up together.
Despite the lingering fear of not knowing where Roy was, her life was right on track. Rebecca was debt free, working on her career with the goal to help other women through public relations. She was picky about friends and because of that she noticed that only great people started to show up. When Jack came along the third time, she was healthy and ready for him.
Only a few months had passed, but Rebecca was settled into her new job and new apartment. She loved her life. One evening after coming home from the apartment complex gym, her security buzzer rang. It was Jack. She let him in and a couple minutes later, he was knocking at her door. She looked out her peephole and unlatched the lock. He was holding a small sterling silver candleholder shaped like a heart with a candle inside.
He handed it to her. “A late house-warming gift.”
Rebecca smiled. “Thank you. Would you like to sit down?” She led him to the couch as she smelled the vanilla-scented candle, a scent she loved.
“Sure.” He sat down and looked around. “Nice place.”
“Thanks, I love it here.”
“Have you eaten?”
“No, actually I haven’t.”
“Would you like to go and get something together?”
“How does Italian sound? There’s a place across the street.”
“That sounds great.”
“I just came from the gym and I’d like to freshen up a little and change. Can I meet you there in fifteen minutes?”
Jack looked at her and raised his eyebrow. “Are you really going to meet me or are you going to leave me sitting there?”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Jack left, and Rebecca rushed into the bathroom to wash up and then into her bedroom to change. She was out the door in ten minutes and saw him standing at the bar watching a basketball game. As soon as he saw her, he walked toward her and guided her to their table. Jack was a gentleman. He had her walk in front of him, he helped her with her jacket, but he didn’t o
verdo it by helping her with her chair. Rebecca liked him, but she was being cautious, nervous about getting involved with another unhealthy man. But Rebecca felt better prepared and didn’t want to doubt every man who entered her life. She didn’t want to be afraid.
“How do you like living in Denver?”
“I love it. I love the city.”
“Do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?”
“Well, that’s a good question… I answer phones, file, make phone calls, make coffee, go grocery shopping, oh, and I clean bathrooms.”
He looked a little confused. “You don’t sound happy.”
“I guess I’m in between something, I’m just not sure what yet. I’m in the process of doing PR. That is what I want to do, but I’m just starting out and working at a PR firm right now, I guess you could say as the… secretary?” Rebecca’s face crinkled in confusion.
Jack started laughing. “Oh, Rebecca, I’ve been there many times.”
She liked how he said her name. He said it like they had known each other for years.
“What do you do, Jack?”
“Let’s just say, it’s an interesting time working in oil and gas. I recently sold my business and did… well for myself.” He smiled. “Now I do some consulting on the side and I’m working on a few other projects.”
“Do you live here in Denver?”
“I do, but I travel a lot, usually Texas and lately up north to Canada. I used to travel more overseas, Middle East, but I would like to settle down a little.”
“That sounds exciting. I love to travel, though I haven’t done much. I’ve traveled around the U.S. a little with family and friends but that’s about it.”
“Then join me on my next trip to Canada. I work most of the day, but you could do some sightseeing. Do you have your passport?”