Jana was so excited last night about the engagement that she went and told my parents who told my grandmother. They showed their excitement even though they already knew. We enjoyed a nice family breakfast and did some talking when I noticed that I had an hour to get to the diner and it’s a forty-five-minute drive.
“Alright you two, we need to go meet your mother.” I say leaning into Sarah and kiss her. “I’m going to miss you and Ella today. Have fun planning; you have my list of demands.” Sarah rolls her eyes.
“I love Star Wars like the next person but I am not wearing Princess Leila’s bikini to get married in.” My dad starts choking as Sarah lets everyone know what one of my demands is and how it’s off the table.
“Can’t blame me for trying! Alright you two say goodbye and let’s go.” Jana and Bennett begrudgingly say their good bye.
“Why can’t I be here for the wedding planning stuff?” Jana whines. I know a lot of this whining is because of the fear of re-meeting her mother for the first time in twelve years. Sarah must understand that and steps in to calm the situation.
“Jana, I want you to help me dress shop which is far more important than the planning. You and Bennett will be in the wedding party as a junior bridesmaid and groomsmen. So, what you need to do is go have your meeting,” Jana stops to interrupt and I think my mom wants to interrupt but I stop her because Sarah is about to be a mom full time to teenagers. The hardest part of that is not being the friend but my partner and figuring out her place in their lives. “Remember keep your mind and heart open, don’t be rude and show her the respect you show me.” Jana is bouncing on her heels and she keeps trying to interrupt Sarah but she won’t have it, “Jana, there is no room for discussion, your dad and grandparents didn’t raise you to be any different. Be the nice children that I know you are so get going and don’t be late.” Sarah hugs the kids and they walk away. Sarah has tears in her eyes, “Did I overstep?”
“Honey, you handled that right.” My grandmother answers for me.
“It’s a work in progress, we’ll get through this and who knows today may end up being the one and only time they see Michelle. I love you.” I kiss Sarah on the lips and as usual when I have my hands around her lower back, she melts into my body. I love how we fit together. “Have fun.” I lean into Sarah’s ear, “is the bikini off the table for the honeymoon?”
“I already ordered it.” Sarah winks at me and I growl into her ear. “Go, the kids are waiting.”
“You sure you don’t want me to take Ella?” I ask as Ella lays there sleeping in her car seat stroller combo that you need a degree to put together, set up and put it down. I’m a doctor and my son had to show me how to do it. I think I’ve become dumber than my kids.
“No.” My dad barks, waving the knife at me. I laugh. I lean down to Ella and tell her to be good for her grandpa.
We start the drive to meet Michelle. The kids are awfully quiet in the backseat. I notice when I watch them in the rearview mirror that the kids are texting each other. I wish I could read their minds.
“Hey guys. Why don’t you talk to me instead of to each other? I want to see where your head is at.”
“Where my head is at?” Jana snaps. “Sarah’s supposed to be on my side and she’s agreeing with you instead of me!” Jana’s hand gestures of looking like she is doing the wave at a football game.
“She is on your side but she knows how important you need to do this and get some closure.”
“I don’t need closure. I don’t even want to do this anymore.” Jana stares out the window.
“Why not?” Bennett asks.
“I don’t want to hear about how perfect her new life is when she left the three of us. Why should we hear anything she has to say?”
“I think you misunderstood the reason for this meeting. It’s for you two to do the talking. Your mother will listen to you first then she gets to speak to answer you. If you want to know about her life,” I try to avoid using ‘new’ life because that’s not what it is. Michelle knew a future with me was not in the cards but pride, ego, and hurt feelings was the reason for her not coming around. “I’m to blame for this too not just your mother. We let our hurt feelings play a role in her not coming around. I wish I would have done things differently but now that we have Ella in our lives, it’s time to let go of the past and move forward. Can you try to keep an open mind?” I beg.
“I’ll try.” Bennett says and nudges Jana to answer.
“Yeah, whatever.” Jana mumbles. I hope Michelle is prepared for this meeting. If she isn’t; may the odds be ever in her favor. I chuckle to myself for using that quote from the Hunger Games series. Bennett starts talking about the new house and that brings Jana out of her mood. I smile at the conversation about Sarah and Ella being there every day and how they are going to teach Sarah how to cook. We pull up to the diner to see Michelle standing there with her two kids.
“Stay here.” I tell the kids as I get out to have a talk with Michelle. I’m pissed because this is about Michelle and the twins.
“Before you say anything, Darren is on his way after his meeting. My babysitter backed out last minute. Would it be okay if I have them sit at a different table?” Michelle seems sincere. I remember what Sarah told Jana about keeping an open mind. I look back at the car to wave them out and to come over.
“Michelle, here they are, Jana and Bennett.” The kids are shy and don’t make eye contact right away. I nudge them to look up. They wave. “And who do we have here?” I smile at Michelle and nod.
“This here is Darren Jr or D.J. and this is Tia.”
“Nice to meet you two. Do they know who we all are?” Michelle shakes her head. I’m sad that she didn’t tell them. So how are we going to do this?
“Kids, this is your half-sister and half-brother and my ex-husband Jensen. We haven’t spoken in twelve years and this is the first time I am seeing Jana and Bennett since they were two.” Michelle takes a deep breath to see how they all react. D.J. is first to speak.
“This is so cool. I’m not the oldest anymore. I can now blame all my problems on being the middle child syndrome.” We all laugh.
“You are very pretty.” Tia looks at Jana. Jana looks to me for some help and I nod.
“You too! I love your long black hair. Where do you get your nails done? I’ve been looking for something like this for my nails. Oh, do you want to see the cutest baby in the universe?” Tia nods and we head in to the diner.
“Jensen, I am truly sorry.”
“Michelle, don’t worry about it. It broke the ice and now we can start the process.” The kids are chattering away about their likes and dislikes.
“Daddy when we get the new house; can they come over and stay the weekend?” I look to Michelle who shrugs.
“I don’t have a problem with that but we will need to talk to their dad and Sarah.” The girls go back to talking about Ella. The boys are talking football and gaming. D.J. is the spitting image of Bennett and Michelle. I can’t believe it. Tia looks like a young version of Darren. Michelle and I sit in a booth across from them watching them interact.
“Mom, why did you leave them?” Tia asks and Michelle looks scared to answer.
“Well. Um. It’s,” was all she could get out before Bennett answers.
“My dad worked too much and was a douchebag. They both let the hurt from the past keep us from her. It’s nobody’s fault really but Jana and I want to get to know Michelle.”
“Bennett, do you mean that?” Michelle looks at all four of her kids.
“Yes. I know I’m not Bennett but we’ve talked, our therapist, Sarah, and even daddy told us that we should let you in so we get to know you. Daddy also told me that you read my journals and the letter I wrote. I’ve been angry for a long time because we missed out on you being there every day, being homeroom mom, going to our sports events, mother daughter banquets, and all that stuff. When we found out that you had kids, I never wanted to see you or them but when Sarah had Ell
a; it made me realize that it’s not the children’s fault that the adults don’t work out. You left daddy not us. Daddy made sure to remind us on holidays when we wished that you were coming to see us.” I wink at Jana. “This man right here,” She points to me, “said all that about me?”
“See I changed my asshole ways. I can be nice once in a while.” Michelle and my kids laugh at me.
“This section looks like a party.” Darren comes up and I jump not expecting him.
“Give me a little warning next time.” I laugh and get up to shake his hand. “These are the twins, Jana and Bennett and kids this is Darren.”
“He’s our dad.” Tia smiles up at them. Darren stands there shaking their hands and kissing his kids. He looks to Michelle with a confused look on his face.
“I tried to find a babysitter and I couldn’t but this,” She points to the four kids, “is what I wanted all these years. I told the kids about who they are and once they got over the shock, they all started talking and laughing. It was right to bring them, almost fate working in our favor.”
“They are already planning sleepovers at our new house when we find one and move in.” Darren nods his head.
“Would you be interested in staying with us once in a while?” Darren asks Jana and Bennett.
“If it doesn’t fall on our weekends with all the kids.” Jana remarks. Darren doesn’t understand.
“There is a group of mothers that all take turns keeping all ten kids with the help of their spouses or boyfriends. It’s amazing how they work this all out. The kids get to see their friends for a whole weekend and the parents get a weekend to themselves. Sarah and I are now on that roster of parents who take them.” I laugh because it’s going to be a disaster.
“Where is Sarah?” Michelle asks. “I was looking forward to meeting her and Ella.”
“They are at Hawthorne Hotel seeing the wedding planner. We got engaged last night. We want to get married as soon as possible.”
“Is she adopting the kids?”
“Before today, I would tell you yes, but it will be a group decision.” One thing with Michelle and I; I’ve never lied to her. I always tell the truth.
“Oh.” She looks to Darren.
“Are you okay?”
“I thought you would have been married already and adopted before I saw them. I mean they call me Michelle and not mom.” She lowers her voice so the kids can’t hear this conversation.
“We already talked about this, you gave up those rights. I saw the papers; you have no right to them legally. If Sarah wants to adopt them, then she can. You need to support the kids’ decision.” Michelle sighs and snuggles into Darren. I have never seen that look of admiration and love from her. I guess it’s true that we were not meant to be together. We talk a few more minutes and my phone goes off seeing a text from Sarah.
Sarah
Everything done, heading to the apartment to start packing things. My mom, Abby, and Mrs. Stephens is coming over to help me.
ME
No heavy lifting.
SARAH
Nope, that is you, Max, Cash, Jonathan, Shawn and Bennett.
ME
I love you
Sarah
I love you too
I smile and put my phone away. “The future Mrs. Causer?” Michelle winks.
“Yeah. She’s heading back to the apartment to start packing. She is moving in with us while we stay at my parent’s place.”
“What’s wrong with the other house?”
“We redid the upstairs but Sarah was actually the designer and she was pregnant. Sarah was put on bed rest early in the pregnancy. So, we are going to finish up the upstairs to put it on the market.”
“Good for you.” Michelle cheers at me.
“I know, lots of arguments and tears between Sarah and I about it but the kids helped me see she was right.” I shrug. We all eat lunch together and it makes me happy that the kids are all getting along. Darren looks at his watch and reminds him of their dinner with her parents in two hours. We all say goodbye.
“Um, excuse me Michelle?” Jana taps her on the shoulder. “I know you are disappointed that we call you Michelle but we don’t know you as mother let alone mom. We don’t do it to disrespect you. Sarah in the last year has done more for us as a mom and we look to her as that role. I hope that we can start a relationship and truly get to know you. Don’t be mad or sad that Sarah is adopting us; we are happy about it.” Jana takes a deep breath and with tears flowing down her cheeks, “Despite what happened between daddy and you, we still should have been in your life. We went to grandma and grandpa’s a lot growing up but you never came around. We stopped asking grandma if you were coming because the answer was always no. Bennett and I need you to build up a level of trust with us. I’m sorry.” Jana wipes her tears then flies into my arms sobbing like she was a little girl who skinned her knee. I take my hand to rub her back. I look to Michelle who walks away from us.
“I’m sorry.” Darren starts to speak to me, “Give it some time. Right now, it hurts her to hear the truth from these kids. Jana,” Darren taps her on the shoulder, “You are a very strong girl and that took a lot of courage. I gave your dad my cell number so we can get you kids together more. I’m happy to have met you, Michelle talks a lot about you. Have a good day and congrats on the engagement.” Darren leaves and Jana watches at the window as Michelle drives away. It breaks my heart but I truly believe this is the last time she will see the kids but thankfully Darren is willing to let the kids have a relationship. I sigh and fight back the tears seeing my precious daughter heartbroken over Michelle walking away from her but Jana needed to get that off her chest. I wipe my eyes and go to pay the bill.
“That gentleman already paid.” The waitress that served us told me. I hand her a twenty-dollar bill for a tip. I nod and walk over to the door, “Alright let’s go get Sarah and Ella to bring them home.” The kids walk with their shoulders hunched and head down. They don’t talk the whole way to the apartment.
Once we get into the apartment and we see Sarah sitting on the recliner going through clothes.
“Hey guys, how was it?” Sarah smiles and I shake my head as the kids go into the game room. I give her the details and she’s crying. “I feel horrible for them. What did Michelle think was going to happen? I’m sorry my love. What can I do?”
“Nothing. They will talk when they are ready. So how goes the packing?” I lay on the couch watching her fold clothes. “Good. All of Ella’s stuff is packed and I can leave things here. I’m working on my stuff now. My mother and Mrs. Stephens are fussing over Ella. Abby was here for a while but missed Ethan.” I laugh.
“How was the wedding planning?” I ask.
“I have the book and the venue is booked for the day we want.” Sarah smiles and tosses the wedding book at me. I can’t wait to hear the pastor say, I now pronounce you husband and wife. I flip through things and even my suggestion about the rain is in there. I’m impressed with Sally.
May
“Do we really have this much stuff?” I whine as I carry in the thousandth box. We finally found the perfect house for us. It was move in ready. I look around the open concept of the main level. There is a kitchen that has this gray and white backsplash with white cabinets and counter tops. The living room is huge. We bought a new sectional and a couple of recliners. The whole downstairs is dark hardwood floors, and there is a dining room right off the kitchen so we can have family meals together. There is an office downstairs past the dining room which is the size of my bedroom in the apartment. We can put my work stuff in there and have a little room for Jensen when he brings paperwork home.
The upstairs has six bedrooms. The rooms are big enough that it was hard to decide which one was the master bedroom. The kids are excited because I can still do the work I was going to do at the old house. Now that I can go back to work and Max is cool with Ella coming to work with me I can slowly work on redoing the bedrooms to our wants and needs. Jana
and Bennett have their own bathroom to share. Ella is going to love her room growing up. The master bedroom doesn’t need anything changed except the paint color. We have an amazing skylight over our bed. I’m in love with the separate shower and jet tub. The tub is big enough for Jensen and I together. The two-sink vanity in the master bathroom is nice. The closet is almost like I had designed for Jensen but way better. There is more room for clothes, shoes, belts and ties.
“Quit your whining and get to work.” Max grunts out as Jensen and he are bringing in the television for the living room. We started moving in today because the furniture store is delivering all our new furniture which the kids helped us pick out.
“Blah. Blah. Blah. That’s all I hear when you talk.” I say to Max as I start to walk out the door but he chases after me and I run to the U-Haul. “Don’t do it.” Max tends to pick me up, put me on his shoulder and spins me around until I’m so dizzy I fall and throw up.
“I won’t because you need to get to work.”
“I just had a baby; don’t you think that I should get a reprieve or something?”
“You got the all clear from May babe. So, start unloading the boxes.” Jensen says as he slaps my ass.
“You are my fiancé not his, you defend me.” I glare at him but he smiles and I start to smile. I can’t stay mad at him. We spend the next five hours moving boxes and furniture that we were keeping into the new house while the kids were at school. They left at seven this morning and we started as soon as Jensen got back. My mom is watching Ella while we do this. The grandparents are excited that we are setting up the one guest room for them.
We’re sitting on the back of the truck on the street eating our Subway subs when the furniture truck shows up. They back into the driveway and Jensen meets up with them.
“Baby, new house, marriage.” Max starts talking to me, “Can you believe how your life has changed this past year? I always thought you and I were destined to be together because of that pact we made.” I laugh and nod.
As Long As You Love Me (Love Me Series Book 4) Page 25