You Better Knot Die

by Betty Hechtman

  “Pink, you didn’t make these, did you?” Adele said, picking up the top one. “Your picot stitches are always twisted. Who is the detective now?” Adele said with a triumphant jiggle of her head. Eduardo had done a fabulous job as usual. Nobody said anything.

  “Pink, I think you should tell Mrs. Shedd that you’ve bitten off more than you can handle.” She pointed to the wall of windows that faced Ventura Boulevard. “The So Many Traditions event is just a few days away and we have barely enough snowflakes for a snow drizzle. We need something more along the lines of a blizzard.”

  CeeCee arrived at the head of the table. She’d overheard the whole exchange and had a suggestion. “I think you’re going to have to settle for something in between. I have a pattern for a simple snowflake. If we all pitch in, Molly will have enough for a nice display.”

  CeeCee passed around the snowflake pattern she had and everyone agreed to make some. I went off to make more copies. When I came back, Sheila had arrived and Adele was just taking out balls of black and white. They were attached to something, and I realized she was making Elise’s vampire scarf. She announced she was making it for her boyfriend, William.

  Rhoda couldn’t contain herself. “Enough with repeating that Koo Koo is your boyfriend. We get it.”

  CeeCee reached over and picked up Adele’s work and examined it. “I think I’ll make one for Hugh,” she said. She didn’t need to add Jackman for us to get she meant her costar—or at least that’s how she described her role. “You know, sort of a nice-to-work-with-you gift.” She paused as something occurred to her. “How could I have missed this?” She pulled out her cell phone. “I’m going to call my agent and tell him to offer my services to teach Hugh how to crochet for the part. Even if they have a stand-in do the actual crocheting, I’m sure he’ll want to learn so it’ll look authentic when he’s holding his hook.”

  “What kind of vampire crochets?” Rhoda said under her breath. Then she answered her own question. “A foofie one.”

  We all kept looking toward the front, but Elise never showed up. But someone else did. Emily and the women I’d seen in her den the night before walked into the yarn area. Everyone looked up automatically when someone entered our yarn area, even though I’d tried to get the group to be a little less territorial. One of these days some knitters were going to come in during our meeting and I didn’t want a scene.

  I introduced Emily to everyone and she turned to the woman with her. “This is Bradley’s sister, Madison. She crochets, too.” Now that I knew who she was, I saw the resemblance. She had the same reddish hair and lean shape. But she didn’t have same magnetic personality of her brother, although from what I’d been learning, having his outgoing nature wasn’t necessarily a positive.

  Everyone knew about Bradley’s suicide and they offered their condolences to the pair. Adele added something extra. She wanted to know if Madison was the one who’d made the afghan, and when she nodded, Adele laid into her.

  “It was a good idea, but I think you made a lot of mistakes,” Adele said.

  Madison seemed surprised by Adele’s comments and said she’d actually made another version of the afghan. Adele wanted to see it and Madison went to the car and got it. She laid it out on the table. I knew right away that it was what she was working on the night before at Emily’s house. It was green like the other one but made in one piece and the flowers were bigger and fewer.

  It took a moment for Madison to recognize CeeCee. She got all flustered and said she was a big fan of CeeCee’s reality show, Making Amends. CeeCee was used to getting that kind of reaction and was very gracious, even inviting them to join us. They declined. Madison was just looking for yarn.

  “There are supposed to be swatches on all the bins,” Adele said before offering to help her.

  Madison said she knew what she wanted and went over to a bin of royal blue wool she said she wanted for felting. CeeCee complimented Madison on her choice and said it had worked for her.

  Once the pair left, the group went back to work. I kept looking for Elise, but she never showed. When we finally broke up, I got ready to walk Dinah and the kids outside.

  “Here, Aunt Molly,” Ashley-Angela said, holding out the chain she and her brother had made. “You could put it in the window till you get all the snowflakes you need.”

  I hadn’t realized they were listening. I was touched and said I’d find a special place to display it.

  The sky definitely said winter with its leaden gray color. The kids pulled on their hoodies and zipped them up. I smelled moisture in the air as we walked to Dinah’s car and wondered if it was going to rain. This was our season for it. She was parked next to a black Element, and as soon as I saw the bumper sticker about being citizen of the month at Wilbur Avenue Elementary, I thought it was probably Emily’s. I glanced at it as Ashley-Angela got in Dinah’s car and saw something sitting on the driver’s seat. It was the shopping bag from the jeweler’s. I called Dinah and pointed it out to her.

  “It’s strange that she’d be driving around with it,” I said.

  “Maybe she’s giving it to his sister,” Dinah said.

  “And in exchange the sister is giving her a hastily made afghan that barely resembles one she gave away and didn’t like to begin with,” I said.

  “Where’s my truck?” E. Conner said, tugging on Dinah’s sleeve. I said it was probably still on the table and offered to get it.

  I went in the store and found the truck. On the way back, I looked in the café. Emily and Madison were sitting at a table. There were drinks on the table, but only Madison seemed interested in hers. They weren’t talking or even looking at each other. Emily was holding her wrist and kept checking her watch. Suddenly I got it and rushed back to the car.

  “I think I know why the watch is in the car. What if they’re planning to meet someone and that someone happens to be Bradley?” I said as I handed E. Conner his truck. “No way would he show up here. They have to be going to him.”

  “What should we do?” Dinah asked.

  “We could follow them,” I said. Dinah hesitated a minute, looking at the kids. I knew she was concerned for their safety.

  “They’ll be fine. It’s not like we’re going to shoot it out with Bradley if we find him.” I bent down closer to the kids’ level and asked if they wanted to go for a ride. No surprise, they said yes.

  Dinah’s silver Honda blended in with all the other silver cars and was perfect to follow someone in, unlike the greenmobile, which blended in with nothing.

  “I’ve got to tell Mrs. Shedd,” I said. I rushed back into the bookstore and found my boss. She was straightening up the Anthony area. More books had come in and she had taken some more things from the yarn area and added them to the table. There was also a small sign saying there was more of Anthony’s favorite yarn in our new yarn department.

  “Do you think the sign’s too much? I wouldn’t want to upset the author. I’m sure he’ll see it when he comes in,” she said.

  “You said when he comes in. You know who A. J. Kowalski is, don’t you?” I said, for the moment forgetting why I’d run back inside.

  “I have an idea. I’m sure you have someone you think it is, too. In my case it’s a he, so that’s how I’m referring to him until I know otherwise.” Two women came up to the display and Mrs. Shedd smiled as they picked up two copies of the books and, after looking at the sign, headed toward the back of the store.

  When I looked up I saw Dinah standing outside her car waving her arms and it brought back why I was there. “I need to leave for a while,” I said in a gush.

  Mrs. Shedd’s face clouded with concern. “This isn’t the best time. Could you wait a—” I was shaking my head before she finished.

  “I think Bradley Perkins might be alive. I’m trying to find out or sure,” I said, getting right to the point.

  “By all means, go then,” she said. Adele had just stepped next to Mrs. Shedd.

  “Where’s Pink going?” Ade
le said as I walked toward the door without looking back. I was out the door, when she caught up.

  Dinah’s waving had gotten more frantic by the time I got outside. She’d moved the car away from Emily’s Element and was pointing toward it. Emily and Madison were in the process of getting in. I sprinted toward Dinah’s car with Adele hanging on to my purse strap.

  I pulled open the passenger door and got in quickly. Adele stood by the car a second before Dinah and I both yelled at her to get in the backseat.

  Adele hadn’t quite gotten the door closed before Dinah put the car in gear. Emily had already backed out and was almost to the driveway that went onto Ventura Boulevard. I heard something like a yelp of surprise coming from the backseat and I twisted to see what was going on.

  Adele had just realized Ashley-Angela and E. Conner were in the backseat with her. She might run story time, but Adele’s basic opinion about children was that they were from an alien planet. We were stuck in the line of cars waiting to exit onto the street and I offered Adele the chance to change her mind now that she saw who her seat companions were, but she declined, saying Mrs. Shedd had wanted her to go with me.

  “She did?” I said. “Why?” The car was on Ventura now and Dinah was frantically trying to get close to the Element. Up ahead I could see the SUV had its right turn signal on.

  Even Adele seemed a little surprised Mrs. Shedd wanted her to go. “One second she was telling me I absolutely couldn’t go with you and that you were on some secret mission for her. Then Mr. Royal came up to her and wanted to know what the secret mission was. I started to say it had something to do with your neighbor, but before I could even say all of it, she started to walk me toward the door and said I ought to go with. She’s acting very weird,” Adele said. “She said whatever I learned while I was with you, I better keep it to myself or else.” Adele jiggled her head in disbelief. “She ought to know I’m the picture of discretion.” Dinah made a sharp turn and we were all a little thrown around.

  “So what’s going on? What are we doing?” Adele leaned toward the front and stuck her head between the seats. “We’re the three musketeers again,” she said, referring to what she’d called us during an earlier adventure. I told her that I thought Emily and Madison might be going to meet Bradley.

  “And we’re following them?” Adele pointed vaguely toward the traffic.

  “Right,” I said, hoping to end it there.

  “So, Pink, what are you going to do if you find the dead guy alive?” Adele was still leaning on the seat. I swallowed. I hated to admit it, but she’d brought up a valid point and one I hadn’t considered.

  “I-I am going to do something,” I said. Adele stuck her face closer.

  “What?” Adele demanded.

  I pulled out my new BlackBerry. “I’ll take a picture of him.” As I said it, I started pushing buttons and clicking on things, trying to find the camera feature. The next thing I knew I’d taken a picture of my knee.

  Adele took the BlackBerry out of my hand and looked it over. She demonstrated how to get to the camera and how to take a picture. Unfortunately she did it so fast I didn’t get a chance to make note of it. She fiddled with it some more and when she handed it back, I saw I had the picture she’d taken of herself as my wallpaper. She sat back mumbling something about how it was lucky for us she’d come. “I have to call my boyfriend, Koo Koo, I mean William. If he comes by the bookstore and I’m not there, he’ll get worried,” she said.

  A moment later she was telling him she was off to help me track down my supposedly dead neighbor. William must have said something because Adele started telling him about the watch and the afghan, which was followed by an exasperated sound and then she said something about a wild-goose chase. She ended the call with a few icky loud kisses. She was doing her best to ignore the kids, but they were staring at her.

  “You know Koo Koo?” Ashley-Angela said in an awestruck voice.

  “Of course. He’s my boyfriend,” Adele said in a self-important tone. I wanted to scream that we got it that he was her boyfriend and she didn’t have to keep repeating it. But I kept quiet. Now that the kids were looking at her with such high regard because she knew Mr. Red Shoes, Adele suddenly seemed better about sharing the backseat with them.

  “Hey,” Adele said sharply as Ashley-Angela reached out and touched a yarn candy cane on her sleeve. The little girl let go of the cane but kept staring at Adele’s sweater.

  “That’s the beautifulest sweater I’ve ever seen,” Ashley-Angela said.

  Dinah corrected the little girl’s grammar and announced Emily was headed for the Ventura Freeway. She made a sharp left, zooming through a yellow arrow to stay behind them. There was a car between us and the SUV as we headed up the incline to the west-bound 101. Dinah’s driving maneuvers got my attention away from the backseat temporarily. Ashley-Angela’s compliment apparently made an impression on Adele. More than an impression, it had blasted through her usual reaction to kids. When I looked back Adele was telling Ashley-Angela about the sweater. She was not only letting both kids touch all the objects hanging off the sweater, she was telling them about why they were connected to the holidays. It was actually kind of interesting. Who knew that candy canes were supposed to symbolize a shepherd’s staff? Though she got a little carried away when she started talking about mistletoe and Druids and people using it to ward off witches.

  E. Conner reached over to check out the dreidel and Adele told him about a game that could be played with a real one. “If you come to holiday night, I’ll show you how.”

  I did a double take. Was this the Adele I knew and was constantly annoyed by?

  The SUV got off at Topanga Canyon Boulevard and went north. Dinah was good at keeping us a couple of cars behind. When I saw Emily’s turn signal go on, I realized where they were going.

  “They’re going to the mall?” I said, feeling dismay. It wasn’t the kind of clandestine meeting place I’d imagined. “I must have been wrong.”

  “Don’t be so sure,” Dinah said. “Think about it. Crowds of holiday shoppers. It would be easy for him to get lost in the crowd. Who’d notice him?”

  “While you two go looking for the dead guy, I’m going to Sephora. I need some purple eye shadow,” Adele announced. It took some wrangling to convince Adele that none of us were going shopping and to get her to take off the sweater. She argued everybody loved it and that people even stopped to look at it and tell her how great it was.

  “That’s the point. We don’t want to be the center of attention,” I said. Finally she took it off, but she told me I was depriving the shoppers of seeing a treat.

  Dinah stayed close to the SUV until they parked and then she pulled into a space nearby. Topanga Mall had recently expanded and now was a huge sprawling shopping extravaganza with everything from Target to Tiffany’s. By the time we got everybody out of the car, Emily and Madison were almost to the entrance to the mall. We rushed to catch up. Emily had the shopping bag from the jewelry store. I was surprised to note that Madison carried a plastic grocery bag. The afghan she’d shown us was peeking out of the top.

  Dinah had to drag the kids past the indoor carousel and I held on to Adele to make sure she didn’t take any shopping side trips.

  Emily and Madison turned into the area they called the Canyon that ran between the old mall and the new addition. There was a whole Santa Claus setup, with a little house and the man in red on a throne.

  As we followed at a distance, the kids started jumping up and down and waving at Santa. This wasn’t good. They were drawing attention to us. Emily and Madison had stopped and seemed to be waiting for something. I pulled Adele next to me and we acted as a wall as Dinah calmed the kids. I was winging it. Nothing in my sleuthing bible, The Average Joe’s Guide to Criminal Investigation, had covered doing surveillance with an entourage.

  The two women kept shifting their weight and it was obvious they were waiting for somebody and impatient for them to get there. I kept checking the
crowd for any signs of Bradley, but all I saw was a sea of faces. When I checked the pair again, a woman had stopped in front of them and some kind of interchange was going on.

  Dinah looked around me and saw what was going on. “Is that Bradley in drag?”

  “What? Who’s in drag?” Adele said, swiveling her head frantically.

  “Nobody and can you keep it down. The point is for us to blend in,” I said. I laughed at myself. Adele blending in? Like that was ever going to happen.

  The woman gestured and pointed at the crowd before handing Emily a piece of paper. Emily looked at it and grabbed Madison’s arm and they started retracing their steps.

  “We’re moving,” I said to our little group. We let them get ahead and then took up their trail.

  They went back to Emily’s Element and we rushed to Dinah’s Honda. Adele tried to talk me into letting her have the front seat. What a surprise. I held firm as she went through her list of reasons, starting with that she was better at tracking Emily’s Element than I was. As a last-ditch effort she said something about getting carsick and throwing up on the kids. I said we’d take the chance.

  As we trailed the Element to the mall exit, I said I bet the note was telling them to go somewhere else.

  We followed the black SUV to another mall in the east Valley. This one was smaller and the crowd was a little thinner and I worried the women might notice they were being followed. Dinah came up with a solution. Whenever we stopped, the whole group of us would turn and pretend to be admiring a store window. It got a little weird when we stopped in front of the storefront of the mall office and ended up staring at a security guard eating his lunch.

  They stopped at the Santa area again. Emily still had the jeweler’s shopping bag and Madison clutched the grocery bag. When we got too near them, I pushed the group behind a sign advertising the food court. A tall elf stood next to the counter with an ad touting photos with Santa. He ignored the line of kids and surveyed the crowd. His gaze landed on Emily and Madison before he walked over to them.